Haters
So I’ve lost abit a of weight. You could say somewhat significant amount to be noticeable. Plenty of people have commented and some havnt said anything and yes the they’ve not seen me in a while. So why is it they havnt?
Is it because genuinely not noticed or are they secretly hating?
Is it because genuinely not noticed or are they secretly hating?
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Replies
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Some people think its not appropriate to say anything about anyone’s body, good or bad. Because you never know how they will take it, or what’s going on with them.
Idk if these people are jealous of you or what they’re thinking, you know them better than any of us. Do you think it might be jealousy?7 -
@vanityy99 it’s a good point that people may not want to comment to avoid any offence. I doubt it they are. I know we shouldn’t really care what people think but find it nice, boosting and reassuring when people do, makes all that hard work feel little sweeter.1
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I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
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Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.0 -
In many circles, remarking on someone's weight loss would be considered very rude.6
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Do they look like this 😳2 -
lol1
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Congrats on your weight loss!! Maybe people think there's sickness involved? Maybe not you, but it feels like everything offends everyone these days and people are just playing it safe. And there is always the truth that people are all so caught up in their own worlds, they truly didn't notice.
So share your story here.
Would love to hear it!
So....were you lying when you said you polished off a 4 pack of Snickers? 5 -
hi @ReenieHJ
You’re right people are far too sensitive these days. We will become a society of non speaking people soon I’m telling you.
Oh no of course I didn’t lie. After my first little loss (20lbs) I’ve taken a little break as rest. I love my food to much plus I’m fasting for Ramadan and still exercising so it shouldn’t be too detrimental to my health. I know many won’t agree with my methods but this is how I roll. I’m only 14 pounds away from my goal so I can afford to treat myself. Life’s too short not to enjoy once in a while
Ps this got murdered last night. Not sure if you get this stuff over there.
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Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?4 -
Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
While what you say is so true and I agree 100% wholeheartedly with what you said, something in my insecure genetic make-up needs validation and recognition from outside sources.
I'm weak that way. I'm not as needy as I used to be. I think as one gets older, perspective changes a lot. The same things just don't matter as much or in the same way as they used to. 2 -
@Hotelsma I agree with cowsfan12. External validation can leave you empty, confused, mad, sad or glad. You can't rely on it. We cannot live or thrive on the opinions of other people. That only works as long as people are saying nice or good things then it can all goes sideways. The good things fill you UP and indifference or criticism can crush your spirit.
Find validation and confidence in your own value and self-worth. Many people refuse to make any comments about physical appearances because it's touchy. Generally speaking, people would rather error on the side of caution then take the chance of offending someone and losing a friend or even a relative.7 -
@Diatonic12 @cowsfan12 you make good points. Believe me I don’t need peoples validation the numbers on the scales and cloths fitting is more than enough. I was more curious than anything but I think the touchy side of it is why people may not say anything1
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Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
While what you say is so true and I agree 100% wholeheartedly with what you said, something in my insecure genetic make-up needs validation and recognition from outside sources. I'm weak that way. I'm not as needy as I used to be. I think as one gets older, perspective changes a lot. The same things just don't matter as much or in the same way as they used to.
I don’t think your on own you own on this. When I was younger I needed that sense of validation not from weightloss but generally but as you said when you get older you get the less forks you give lol0 -
@Hotelsma Do you have anyone in your circle who confuses blunt, harsh, critical judgments with being honest.
They have no filters and don't care about the personal boundaries of others. People run when they see them coming their way. What few friends they have exit and scatter to the winds making a clean getaway.
Congratulate yourself for all of your hard work and efforts. Don't let praise or criticism move or get to you. Don't get caught up in either one and be who you are.2 -
Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
While what you say is so true and I agree 100% wholeheartedly with what you said, something in my insecure genetic make-up needs validation and recognition from outside sources. I'm weak that way. I'm not as needy as I used to be. I think as one gets older, perspective changes a lot. The same things just don't matter as much or in the same way as they used to.
i guess we do get wiser with age - or maybe just more cantankerous lol I used to care what others thought as well -but as I’ve aged I just don’t give chit - as it doesn’t matter - like @Peachesand_cream basically said - those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind - right?3 -
Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
I'll take this a step further - I'd rather be complimented on the person that I am on the inside. You can compliment my looks all day long, it means absolutely nothing to me if I don't believe it myself. KWIM?
Another take (personal experience and probs way too much information.)
When I was going through my own personal struggles with an eating disorder, comments fueled me. Oh, I look great? I should keep going? Ok. I'll continue to starve myself until I meet your standard of what is attractive.
My point is this - you don't always know what someone is going through. Weight loss is necessarily always on purpose. There could be so many underlying "reasons" a person is losing/gaining weight.
I could write a book about this, but I'll shut up.
Bottom line: Be proud of your own accomplishments and don't try to hard to get fixated on other people's thoughts about their version of what's attractive/not attractive.
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Peachesand_cream wrote: »Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
I'll take this a step further - I'd rather be complimented on the person that I am on the inside. You can compliment my looks all day long, it means absolutely nothing to me if I don't believe it myself. KWIM?
Another take (personal experience and probs way too much information.)
When I was going through my own personal struggles with an eating disorder, comments fueled me. Oh, I look great? I should keep going? Ok. I'll continue to starve myself until I meet your standard of what is attractive.
My point is this - you don't always know what someone is going through. Weight loss is necessarily always on purpose. There could be so many underlying "reasons" a person is losing/gaining weight.
I could write a book about this, but I'll shut up.
Bottom line: Be proud of your own accomplishments and don't try to hard to get fixated on other people's thoughts about their version of what's attractive/not attractive.
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Peachesand_cream wrote: »Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
I'll take this a step further - I'd rather be complimented on the person that I am on the inside. You can compliment my looks all day long, it means absolutely nothing to me if I don't believe it myself. KWIM?
Another take (personal experience and probs way too much information.)
When I was going through my own personal struggles with an eating disorder, comments fueled me. Oh, I look great? I should keep going? Ok. I'll continue to starve myself until I meet your standard of what is attractive.
My point is this - you don't always know what someone is going through. Weight loss is necessarily always on purpose. There could be so many underlying "reasons" a person is losing/gaining weight.
I could write a book about this, but I'll shut up.
Bottom line: Be proud of your own accomplishments and don't try to hard to get fixated on other people's thoughts about their version of what's attractive/not attractive.
😆🤗
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spookyface wrote: »
Not sure I can pull off a tutu but I’ll give it a try1 -
Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
While what you say is so true and I agree 100% wholeheartedly with what you said, something in my insecure genetic make-up needs validation and recognition from outside sources. I'm weak that way. I'm not as needy as I used to be. I think as one gets older, perspective changes a lot. The same things just don't matter as much or in the same way as they used to.
Agreed.
Not caring is great in concept, but for me personally... how else am I supposed to gauge my worth and value if not through comments/approval from others?1 -
Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
While what you say is so true and I agree 100% wholeheartedly with what you said, something in my insecure genetic make-up needs validation and recognition from outside sources. I'm weak that way. I'm not as needy as I used to be. I think as one gets older, perspective changes a lot. The same things just don't matter as much or in the same way as they used to.
Agreed.
Not caring is great in concept, but for me personally... how else am I supposed to gauge my worth and value if not through comments/approval from others?
Everyone is different- but consistently needing others approval just seems like a hard road -1 -
Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
While what you say is so true and I agree 100% wholeheartedly with what you said, something in my insecure genetic make-up needs validation and recognition from outside sources. I'm weak that way. I'm not as needy as I used to be. I think as one gets older, perspective changes a lot. The same things just don't matter as much or in the same way as they used to.
Agreed.
Not caring is great in concept, but for me personally... how else am I supposed to gauge my worth and value if not through comments/approval from others?
Everyone is different- but consistently needing others approval just seems like a hard road -
My experience supports that assumption.0 -
I guess it really boils down to knowing your audience.0
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My family tends to be the worst. They think because they are family that all bets are off and they can say whatever. When I was overweight they made fun of me. Then I lost the weight and now they can't stop saying things like: "you need to eat a sandwich", "you are too skinny", "I would have thought you would have a 6pack by now". And I always dread when that one family member will ask how I lost my weight and got fit only to be disappointed with my answer. Then for them to say something like "come on, you can tell me how much plastic surgery you've had done." I've had no surgery and it's so horrible to hear these things from those who share your DNA and are supposed to have your back no matter what.
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I really don't value the opinion of many people.
Are there some I might listen to?
Sure, a few folks, okay... however, most people, nope; not even close.
( quick tip: Always consider the agenda of others.)
Hence, if their opinion is of no value or concern, why care what they have to say or think?4
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