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Peachesand_cream wrote: »Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
I'll take this a step further - I'd rather be complimented on the person that I am on the inside. You can compliment my looks all day long, it means absolutely nothing to me if I don't believe it myself. KWIM?
Another take (personal experience and probs way too much information.)
When I was going through my own personal struggles with an eating disorder, comments fueled me. Oh, I look great? I should keep going? Ok. I'll continue to starve myself until I meet your standard of what is attractive.
My point is this - you don't always know what someone is going through. Weight loss is necessarily always on purpose. There could be so many underlying "reasons" a person is losing/gaining weight.
I could write a book about this, but I'll shut up.
Bottom line: Be proud of your own accomplishments and don't try to hard to get fixated on other people's thoughts about their version of what's attractive/not attractive.
😆🤗
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spookyface wrote: »
Not sure I can pull off a tutu but I’ll give it a try1 -
Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
While what you say is so true and I agree 100% wholeheartedly with what you said, something in my insecure genetic make-up needs validation and recognition from outside sources.
I'm weak that way. I'm not as needy as I used to be. I think as one gets older, perspective changes a lot. The same things just don't matter as much or in the same way as they used to.
Agreed.
Not caring is great in concept, but for me personally... how else am I supposed to gauge my worth and value if not through comments/approval from others?1 -
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Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
While what you say is so true and I agree 100% wholeheartedly with what you said, something in my insecure genetic make-up needs validation and recognition from outside sources. I'm weak that way. I'm not as needy as I used to be. I think as one gets older, perspective changes a lot. The same things just don't matter as much or in the same way as they used to.
Agreed.
Not caring is great in concept, but for me personally... how else am I supposed to gauge my worth and value if not through comments/approval from others?
Everyone is different- but consistently needing others approval just seems like a hard road -1 -
Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
While what you say is so true and I agree 100% wholeheartedly with what you said, something in my insecure genetic make-up needs validation and recognition from outside sources. I'm weak that way. I'm not as needy as I used to be. I think as one gets older, perspective changes a lot. The same things just don't matter as much or in the same way as they used to.
Agreed.
Not caring is great in concept, but for me personally... how else am I supposed to gauge my worth and value if not through comments/approval from others?
Everyone is different- but consistently needing others approval just seems like a hard road -
My experience supports that assumption.0 -
I guess it really boils down to knowing your audience.0
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My family tends to be the worst. They think because they are family that all bets are off and they can say whatever. When I was overweight they made fun of me. Then I lost the weight and now they can't stop saying things like: "you need to eat a sandwich", "you are too skinny", "I would have thought you would have a 6pack by now". And I always dread when that one family member will ask how I lost my weight and got fit only to be disappointed with my answer. Then for them to say something like "come on, you can tell me how much plastic surgery you've had done." I've had no surgery and it's so horrible to hear these things from those who share your DNA and are supposed to have your back no matter what.
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I really don't value the opinion of many people.
Are there some I might listen to?
Sure, a few folks, okay... however, most people, nope; not even close.
( quick tip: Always consider the agenda of others.)
Hence, if their opinion is of no value or concern, why care what they have to say or think?4 -
Motorsheen wrote: »I really don't value the opinion of many people.
Are there some I might listen to?
Sure, a few folks, okay... however, most people, nope; not even close.
( quick tip: Always consider the agenda of others.)
Hence, if their opinion is of no value or concern, why care what they have to say or think?
What he said -0 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »My family tends to be the worst. They think because they are family that all bets are off and they can say whatever. When I was overweight they made fun of me. Then I lost the weight and now they can't stop saying things like: "you need to eat a sandwich", "you are too skinny", "I would have thought you would have a 6pack by now". And I always dread when that one family member will ask how I lost my weight and got fit only to be disappointed with my answer. Then for them to say something like "come on, you can tell me how much plastic surgery you've had done." I've had no surgery and it's so horrible to hear these things from those who share your DNA and are supposed to have your back no matter what.
My fam will say the same to me lol - they ask how you lose the weight - when I say eat less and exercise more they roll their eyes - 🤷♂️ I’m still striving for the ever elusive 6 pk - well get there one day -
Also when you look younger than your younger family mbrs they tend to throw a little shade like the sheen said - consider the agenda of the person commenting right -
And last thing is now Wednesday yet - asking for a friend 😉3 -
Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
While what you say is so true and I agree 100% wholeheartedly with what you said, something in my insecure genetic make-up needs validation and recognition from outside sources. I'm weak that way. I'm not as needy as I used to be. I think as one gets older, perspective changes a lot. The same things just don't matter as much or in the same way as they used to.
Agreed.
Not caring is great in concept, but for me personally... how else am I supposed to gauge my worth and value if not through comments/approval from others?
Everyone is different- but consistently needing others approval just seems like a hard road -
My experience supports that assumption.
Yep, same here and the validation doesn't matter as much to me anymore as it used to. But needing that validation from others back then, always set me up for disappointment because my (unrealistic)expectations were not being met. Sure, it's always nice to hear positive comments from others relating to us but really, I prefer they just hand over money these days.
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GymGoddessGoals wrote: »My family tends to be the worst. They think because they are family that all bets are off and they can say whatever. When I was overweight they made fun of me. Then I lost the weight and now they can't stop saying things like: "you need to eat a sandwich", "you are too skinny", "I would have thought you would have a 6pack by now". And I always dread when that one family member will ask how I lost my weight and got fit only to be disappointed with my answer. Then for them to say something like "come on, you can tell me how much plastic surgery you've had done." I've had no surgery and it's so horrible to hear these things from those who share your DNA and are supposed to have your back no matter what.
Wow. People can be so *sigh*.......clueless? And it's not only family that can be personal and inappropriate. My elderly neighbor has zero filter and has asked me countless times if I've gained weight; he even stopped one of my former daycare moms(someone he knew) asking her the same thing.
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GymGoddessGoals wrote: »My family tends to be the worst. They think because they are family that all bets are off and they can say whatever. When I was overweight they made fun of me. Then I lost the weight and now they can't stop saying things like: "you need to eat a sandwich", "you are too skinny", "I would have thought you would have a 6pack by now". And I always dread when that one family member will ask how I lost my weight and got fit only to be disappointed with my answer. Then for them to say something like "come on, you can tell me how much plastic surgery you've had done." I've had no surgery and it's so horrible to hear these things from those who share your DNA and are supposed to have your back no matter what.
@GymGoddessGoals be under no illusion family can be just as bad as anyone else. Right now my sister is public enemy number 1 for me. Do you know what I would do, if they think you’ve had surgery then just play on it, make some stuff up and troll them1 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »My family tends to be the worst. They think because they are family that all bets are off and they can say whatever. When I was overweight they made fun of me. Then I lost the weight and now they can't stop saying things like: "you need to eat a sandwich", "you are too skinny", "I would have thought you would have a 6pack by now". And I always dread when that one family member will ask how I lost my weight and got fit only to be disappointed with my answer. Then for them to say something like "come on, you can tell me how much plastic surgery you've had done." I've had no surgery and it's so horrible to hear these things from those who share your DNA and are supposed to have your back no matter what.
My fam will say the same to me lol - they ask how you lose the weight - when I say eat less and exercise more they roll their eyes - 🤷♂️ I’m still striving for the ever elusive 6 pk - well get there one day -
Also when you look younger than your younger family mbrs they tend to throw a little shade like the sheen said - consider the agenda of the person commenting right -
And last thing is now Wednesday yet - asking for a friend 😉
@cowsfan12 how far you away from the elusive 6 pack. I have same end goal0 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »My family tends to be the worst. They think because they are family that all bets are off and they can say whatever. When I was overweight they made fun of me. Then I lost the weight and now they can't stop saying things like: "you need to eat a sandwich", "you are too skinny", "I would have thought you would have a 6pack by now". And I always dread when that one family member will ask how I lost my weight and got fit only to be disappointed with my answer. Then for them to say something like "come on, you can tell me how much plastic surgery you've had done." I've had no surgery and it's so horrible to hear these things from those who share your DNA and are supposed to have your back no matter what.
Wow. People can be so *sigh*.......clueless? And it's not only family that can be personal and inappropriate. My elderly neighbor has zero filter and has asked me countless times if I've gained weight; he even stopped one of my former daycare moms(someone he knew) asking her the same thing.
@ReenieHJ yeah these filter less people are everywhere. Unfortunately we have to live with these donuts it’s best to learnt to filter them lol0 -
GymGoddessGoals wrote: »My family tends to be the worst. They think because they are family that all bets are off and they can say whatever. When I was overweight they made fun of me. Then I lost the weight and now they can't stop saying things like: "you need to eat a sandwich", "you are too skinny", "I would have thought you would have a 6pack by now". And I always dread when that one family member will ask how I lost my weight and got fit only to be disappointed with my answer. Then for them to say something like "come on, you can tell me how much plastic surgery you've had done." I've had no surgery and it's so horrible to hear these things from those who share your DNA and are supposed to have your back no matter what.
My fam will say the same to me lol - they ask how you lose the weight - when I say eat less and exercise more they roll their eyes - 🤷♂️ I’m still striving for the ever elusive 6 pk - well get there one day -
Also when you look younger than your younger family mbrs they tend to throw a little shade like the sheen said - consider the agenda of the person commenting right -
And last thing is now Wednesday yet - asking for a friend 😉
@cowsfan12 how far you away from the elusive 6 pack. I have same end goal
After 2 years of steady working out still always away cause I’m having a hard time letting go of the liquid 6 pk 🤷♂️ But one day I’ll get there just not tomorrow and that’s ok1 -
@cowsfan12 yup keep plugging away and enjoy yourself along the way0
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Peachesand_cream wrote: »I personally don't place value on a person based on their weight.
If you're doing it for the compliments, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. What happens if you put the weight back on? Would it be ok if I asked you if you've "put on weight?"
Keep doing what you're doing, but do it for yourself. Those who love you don't see your size...they see the person.
@Peachesand_cream of course I’m not doing for other peoples validation but it’s nice just hear just like any other compliment. Tbh me personally I wouldn’t be to bothered if someone said I did put on weight as atleast I know where I’m at and if I need to fix up, each to their own I guess.
Compliments are nice sure - but I really don’t or give a chit what another is thinking - and don’t think about wether they are hating or not - you can’t control what goes on in another’s head so why be concerned with it ?
While what you say is so true and I agree 100% wholeheartedly with what you said, something in my insecure genetic make-up needs validation and recognition from outside sources. I'm weak that way. I'm not as needy as I used to be. I think as one gets older, perspective changes a lot. The same things just don't matter as much or in the same way as they used to.
Agreed.
Not caring is great in concept, but for me personally... how else am I supposed to gauge my worth and value if not through comments/approval from others?
Everyone is different- but consistently needing others approval just seems like a hard road -
My experience supports that assumption.
Yep, same here and the validation doesn't matter as much to me anymore as it used to. But needing that validation from others back then, always set me up for disappointment because my (unrealistic)expectations were not being met. Sure, it's always nice to hear positive comments from others relating to us but really, I prefer they just hand over money these days.
I haven't gotten there yet. For me, the only way to not care what others think is to not care about myself (essentially, giving up), and that's a dark road to go down.
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