What don’t you want to forget about being overweight?

ClearNotCloudyMind

As I go through these forums there have been some eye opening posts from people talking about how losing weight has surprised them and improved their lives.

I’m looking for motivation to keep going and not regain (again). So... looking for help!

What don’t slender people know about being overweight that you don’t miss or won’t miss?

For me, I think it’s the continuous slightly-too-full feeling I never seemed to stop feeling.

Please share your ideas... looking for reasons to never EVER gain back the weight.

sandramarshall200

I didn’t even know this, but constantly feeling self conscious. I know it now because I do my planking every morning in underwear andI don’t feel I have to protect my husband from the sight.

Speakeasy76

More bouts of acid reflux...still have it a bit now, even at 20.2 BMI, but it was a lot worse when overweight.

That "yuck" feeling combined with "guilt" when I ate too much and hadn't planned on doing so.

That slightly disgusted feeling when my clothes were getting too small.

Wondering if I was going to be the fattest person in a group, not that I was ever "that big," I guess. However, certainly in my local friends group in my early 20's, I was the biggest person.

AnnPT77

For me, not regaining is more about establishing happy (relatively easy) habits, not so much about motivation, I have to admit. (I'm in year 5+ of maintaining.)

What I don't miss about being fat is that my bad knees used to hurt more, and more often (by far) than now; and my health markers (blood pressure, cholesterol) are not creating a probable sooner train wreck for my future self's health. I'm already . . . um . . . non-young (65). If I want a long, happy, independent future, staying at a healthy weight is a key foundation block for that. (So is staying active.)

When I look around at friends/relatives my age +/- 10 years, what I see is that those who are at a healthy weight, generally speaking, have pleasanter and more functional lives, by quite a bit. Don't get me wrong, all of these are lovely people whom I value in my life!

But the very overweight and inactive people in general tend to need to take more drugs, have problems with drug interactions, are sick more often, need more surgeries and heal more slowly from them, have limitations in what they can eat/drink due to health conditions or drugs, aren't so able to do walking- or stairs-intensive fun stuff like art fairs/music festivals/stadium events, need more help (from kids or paid services) for routine home chores, and more. As a consequence of things like the medical/chores costs, they have less discretionary spending money, besides.

By contrast, the healthy-weight active folks at a similar age are doing pretty much the things they want and like to do, eating/drinking what they like (splurges within reason, but no health-threatening prohibitions), etc.

When I go to doctors' offices, it seems like obese people are over-represented in the waiting rooms, compared to (say) the grocery store.

Clearly, none of us is going to live forever, and accidents or diseases can happen to anyone. But, looking around me, the writing on the wall says that being at a healthy weight, and staying active, is a key way to give myself the best odds of long-term good health, happiness, and independence. That's a pretty big deal, in my book.

In addition to that motivation, I found that mysteriously, in some way, my overall sense of physical and psychological well-being is better, at a healthy weight. I don't think this is about self-confidence or self-liking (I was a pretty confident fat person). I'm tempted to think it might be related to reduced systemic inflammation, but I have absolutely no evidence for that hypothesis. This is very subjective, but it feels true, to me. I want to keep that.

chocolate_owl

Not buying new clothes because "This is only temporary, I'm going to lose weight." The horror of putting on a shirt that I was sure fit me, only to find that my too-tight bra squeezing my back fat can be seen clear as day. The shame that the only shirts that fit me are the "oversized" t-shirts I used to use as sleepwear. My jeans digging hard into my stomach all day, and the red lines that stay long after I take them off. Devolving into wearing elastic waistlines every day instead of something cute that makes me feel good. Being so self-conscious of my body all the time because of my ill-fitting clothing. Sex becoming very infrequent because of my insecurities. And STILL not buying new clothes because "This is only temporary, I'm going to lose weight."

lmf1012

Looking frumpy in pictures
Hating trying on/buying clothes

Lietchi

Permanently feeling the need to hide my stomach when sitting down: behind a table, folded arms, a pillow... Even when I was at home alone or with my BF.

Always feeling like I'm holding back my BF when hiking.

Never feeling truly good in my clothes, just 'good enough' for my size, glad to find things that fit and look 'passable'.

Not being able to breathe properly when bent over to tie my shoelaces.

Having people not take you seriously at job interviews, thinking you're not smart or determined enough for the job. Or, on the other side of the spectrum, thinking you're not jovial enough (fat people are jovial, right?).

People thinking you eat junk food, hate vegetables and hate working out, just because of your weight, and perhaps other prejudices on top of that.

anna_lowe

being unable to tie my own shoes

Jordanna_Beast

Being out of breath doing literally anything that required movement. Ugh.

springlering62

GERD.

If for no other reason- and these are all good ones, especially the waistband one- I will not put the weight back on because of GERD.

GERD ruled my life. When I could eat. What I could eat. When I could (couldn’t) sleep, and the horror of waking up choking, unable to breath. My daughter’s shock when we had to pull off the road so I could heave into bushes. Being forced to carry quick changes of clothes and barf bags, ready at a moments’s notice. The most humiliating moment of my entire life came courtesy of GERD. I go hot and cold all over and tear up just thinking about it.

No thanks.

Any time I feel like going off plan, that’s what I remember about being overweight and it neck-snaps me back into immediate compliance.

seltzermint555

squeezing into restaurant booths, eyeballing them to see which side looked like it had an extra inch or two for me to fit.

DancingMoosie

Thigh rub
Back pain

ClearNotCloudyMind

Wow, sincere thank yous everyone. I can’t believe I’d started to forget some of these.

This has come at just the right time. I had a bit of a freak out today about possibly crashing my metabolism after the scale showed an unexpected drop. This was just the perspective I needed. You’re all fantastic xx

goal06082021

AvaEBerry wrote: »

Being out of breath doing literally anything that required movement. Ugh.

That's a f***ing mood. I think the thing that finally got me was being out of breath after walking upstairs at work to refill my water. Wearing a mask makes it much harder to hide the fact that you're breathing heavily - like, you can only fake so many heaving sighs before people start looking at you like a petulant teenager, which SO isn't the vibe I'm going for at work.

I don't want to forget what a Production(tm) shopping for pants is at this size. I'm hopeful that my FUPA/the general area between belly button and knees will shrink along with the rest of me, so my bodily proportions will be closer to what the manufacturers had in mind. I'm so over "plus size" pants that are cut like jodhpurs for some inscrutable reason, and I can only hope straight-sized pants aren't cut like this. (I wouldn't know. I've never been able to wear them.)

emailnumber308

Won't ever miss having high blood pressure, high cholesterol, being pre-diabetic, not able to run or fit the clothes I wanted to wear, or being tired, uncomfortable and out of breath all the time.

gothchiq

The way that clothes just never fit right. Proportions were always wrong because my stomach stuck out too much. It was infinitely annoying.

1poundatax

I don't want to forget the feeling of scanning the room hoping to find someone larger than I was. I don't want to forget the pain my body was in. I don't want to forget how hard it was to exercise. I don't want to forget the feeling of "good" and "bad" food and the shame I felt when I chose "bad" food. I don't want to forget how I felt so much of the time. I feel so much better now.

Onedaywriter

I don’t want to forget that I had no energy and couldn’t do simple things that I used to do ( clean the rain gutters, paint the second story windows etc). I thought this was due today age but I can do more stuff than I could ten years ago.
I also don’t want to forget going to the store and buying anything that remotely fit- no matter how bad the item was- because it was all I could find.

I want to remember these things to be sure I’ll never backslide again!!

goal06082021

Onedaywriter wrote: »

I don’t want to forget that I had no energy and couldn’t do simple things that I used to do ( clean the rain gutters, paint the second story windows etc). I thought this was due today age but I can do more stuff than I could ten years ago.
I also don’t want to forget going to the store and buying anything that remotely fit- no matter how bad the item was- because it was all I could find.

I want to remember these things to be sure I’ll never backslide again!!

THIIIIIIS. I don't ever want to spend another hour and a half combing through the racks to find the three items in the tri-state area that mostly cover my body to an acceptable degree in compliance with decency laws, and spend $50 for the privilege, ever again.

springlering62

goal06082021 wrote: »

Onedaywriter wrote: »

I don’t want to forget that I had no energy and couldn’t do simple things that I used to do ( clean the rain gutters, paint the second story windows etc). I thought this was due today age but I can do more stuff than I could ten years ago.
I also don’t want to forget going to the store and buying anything that remotely fit- no matter how bad the item was- because it was all I could find.

I want to remember these things to be sure I’ll never backslide again!!

THIIIIIIS. I don't ever want to spend another hour and a half combing through the racks to find the three items in the tri-state area that mostly cover my body to an acceptable degree in compliance with decency laws, and spend $50 for the privilege, ever again.

Not do I ever want to forget that those leggings didn’t look as hot as I thought on 225 pounds. 🤦🏻‍♀️

88olds

1) It almost killed me.

2) The isolation. Self imposed.

BTW- Great question.

joyanna2016

That you just don't feel comfortable in your own skin. It literally feels tight when you've gained weight. A bad, bad feeling for sure.

keilee0408

The feeling of not being worthy because you are heavier than you would like to be. Its hard work and I don't want to forget that every little decision leads to big results (good or bad.) Learn to love the skin your in but also know everyone has room for improvements.

overeater1

Not being able to wear anything that clung to my belly. I’ve lost 33lbs and now when I hop out of bed in the morning I can wear any jumper or top that I lay my hand on. No more problems with bulges and trying to disguise the flab. Just grab something from the wardrobe and put it on. So much less stressful and mornings are no longer as fraught.

deputy_randolph

I don't miss the intentionally and unintentionally rude comments and "jokes" about my weight from family members and friends or that flat out mean comments from strangers.

I don't miss the almost constant state of feeling defensive and guarded due to unnecessary comments about my weight.

Terytha

When I go to parties or events, I don't feel like everyone is staring at me when I grab snacks or dessert. I'm pretty guilt free around food now even on the rare occasions I indulge.

JustJenn68

I'm not going to miss huffing and puffing go up the stairs.
I'm not going to the chronic knee and back pain.
I'm not miss buying new clothes every winter or summer.

cwolfman13

Fortunately, I've been lean, healthy, and pretty fit most of my life. I was a competitive athlete from when my parents got me into club track and field in the 3rd grade through high school and dabbled in several other sports as well...and in general, I've always been a very active person.

I graduated college when I was 30 and took my first desk job that not only had me sitting much of the day, but also working brutal hours with a substantial amount of travel. On a scale of 1-100 my activity level dipped from about 99.5 to about a 10 and over the course of about 8 years or so I put on 40-50 Lbs and completely lost my fitness to the point of pretty routine activities like going for a hike with the family was painful in numerous respects.

I'm living my best life when I'm out and active and playing and being unable to do those things for awhile was just kind of sad and I wouldn't want to go back there. It's not really "motivation" per sei...I'm just a much happier person when I can do the things I enjoy doing with relative ease.

Lhenderson923

This is such a great topic for a new thread! The first thing that comes to mind is how I will not miss being extremely self conscious everywhere I go. Even around family. I completely understand that always full feeling too, and it's not pleasant. Sometimes when I way over eat, I think about how I'd almost prefer to feel hungry then to feel so gross and bloated. I am down 70lbs with 5-10lbs to go, and I am certain that there are many, many more things that I will think of!

ClearNotCloudyMind

chocolate_owl wrote: »

Not buying new clothes because "This is only temporary, I'm going to lose weight." The horror of putting on a shirt that I was sure fit me, only to find that my too-tight bra squeezing my back fat can be seen clear as day. The shame that the only shirts that fit me are the "oversized" t-shirts I used to use as sleepwear. My jeans digging hard into my stomach all day, and the red lines that stay long after I take them off. Devolving into wearing elastic waistlines every day instead of something cute that makes me feel good. Being so self-conscious of my body all the time because of my ill-fitting clothing. Sex becoming very infrequent because of my insecurities. And STILL not buying new clothes because "This is only temporary, I'm going to lose weight."

I keep coming back to this one. Wow... this was me. I'd forgotten how I felt when I first wore an ex-boyfriend's t-shirt for the day (it had previously been a nightshirt) because I didn't have any others that fit. And refusing to buy new clothes because I was going to lose weight, no matter how painfully tight (and ridiculous) they got.

Thanks for sharing. Seriously.

SilverJem77

Constantly checking & pulling down my shirts in the back to make sure it was covering my butt.

I was so horrified at how large it had gotten and I was mortified at the thought of anyone noticing.