First of all, I am 100% grateful that I have escaped this pandemic (so far) unscathed and I have not had Covid or lost anyone to it or lost my job (touch wood-so far). Lots of gratitude.
But the past couple of years of struggles with mental health and lockdowns have really taken their toll on my health and I am now the unfittest and largest I have been since I was a depressed teenager....
I have worked in fitness for many years, instructed classes - crazy high energy ones like Insanity and Spin, I then went into a more holistic route with Pilates and Yoga. I don't currently teach any classes, I am having a break as I work full time, study a degree part time, volunteer for a crisis line two hours a week and have my own fitness journey to go on! Really missing a Yoga practice in particular so I will be looking to get to a class and will be trying some out asap. Even pre-pandemic I had a really tough year in 2019, so the bad habits started then. I struggle with my mental health and sometimes I just stuff my face out of boredom/as a pick me up. Feels really silly when I think about all of my experience and fitness qualifications, yet here I am, struggling
My parents both have health issues including T2 Diabetes, heart issues, high blood pressure, I am struggling to get clothes to fit me as I don't seem to realise I have gone up 1-2 dress sizes and keep buying my old size! I feel uncomfortable, I feel unfit. There couldn't be a clearer message from the universe to start taking care of my health.I don't want to go back to my old body hating ways - I am focusing on health, fitness and comfort levels. I used to torture myself that I didn't look like fitness models, celebs etc and I know this is silly and unrealistic as most of the time, they don't actually look like they are shown in photos.
It's painful to admit it but I am approaching 40, I don't want to be an unfit 40 year old!
Hubby is very supportive and loves me and still fancies me so that helps me to be positive!
My goal is to get back to fitness, good health, flexible, and strong. I am working with a PT once a week as I want to get strong and start lifting heavy weights (I've always done light weights, used to teach Body Pump etc) I am back at the gym this week. I have two weeks until a holiday so just seeing what I can do in two weeks to feel a little better on the beach.
I invested in some decent gym gear and I feel fine when I am at the gym and I am enjoying my workouts - especially with having that end goal of lifting heavy.
Trouble is....I need to weigh myself right?! I need a starting point and to update my calorie figures etc. I really don't want to! I never weigh myself. Last time I was weighed was January 2020 at the Drs for a medication review and she noted a significant increase then. Since then with lockdowns, boredom eating, gyms being closed, I know I will have gained, probably around 14-28lbs.
It will be a shock to step on those scales, especially if the gain is more than I think. I am at the gym tonight, so I could use their scales (if they still have them with Covid regulations not sure) and then get the full picture. I figure it's best to do it at the end of the workout as then I can just get in my car and cry if need to!
Big breath, I've gotta do it. I am dreading it, I can't lie! If I can't do it at the gym I would need to go to a shop I think
Anyway, would love to hear from anyone else feeling the same and any accountability buddies welcome.