Scared to get on those scales...!
hannahlbur
Posts: 221 Member
First of all, I am 100% grateful that I have escaped this pandemic (so far) unscathed and I have not had Covid or lost anyone to it or lost my job (touch wood-so far). Lots of gratitude.
But the past couple of years of struggles with mental health and lockdowns have really taken their toll on my health and I am now the unfittest and largest I have been since I was a depressed teenager....
I have worked in fitness for many years, instructed classes - crazy high energy ones like Insanity and Spin, I then went into a more holistic route with Pilates and Yoga. I don't currently teach any classes, I am having a break as I work full time, study a degree part time, volunteer for a crisis line two hours a week and have my own fitness journey to go on! Really missing a Yoga practice in particular so I will be looking to get to a class and will be trying some out asap. Even pre-pandemic I had a really tough year in 2019, so the bad habits started then. I struggle with my mental health and sometimes I just stuff my face out of boredom/as a pick me up. Feels really silly when I think about all of my experience and fitness qualifications, yet here I am, struggling
My parents both have health issues including T2 Diabetes, heart issues, high blood pressure, I am struggling to get clothes to fit me as I don't seem to realise I have gone up 1-2 dress sizes and keep buying my old size! I feel uncomfortable, I feel unfit. There couldn't be a clearer message from the universe to start taking care of my health.I don't want to go back to my old body hating ways - I am focusing on health, fitness and comfort levels. I used to torture myself that I didn't look like fitness models, celebs etc and I know this is silly and unrealistic as most of the time, they don't actually look like they are shown in photos.
It's painful to admit it but I am approaching 40, I don't want to be an unfit 40 year old!
Hubby is very supportive and loves me and still fancies me so that helps me to be positive!
My goal is to get back to fitness, good health, flexible, and strong. I am working with a PT once a week as I want to get strong and start lifting heavy weights (I've always done light weights, used to teach Body Pump etc) I am back at the gym this week. I have two weeks until a holiday so just seeing what I can do in two weeks to feel a little better on the beach.
I invested in some decent gym gear and I feel fine when I am at the gym and I am enjoying my workouts - especially with having that end goal of lifting heavy.
Trouble is....I need to weigh myself right?! I need a starting point and to update my calorie figures etc. I really don't want to! I never weigh myself. Last time I was weighed was January 2020 at the Drs for a medication review and she noted a significant increase then. Since then with lockdowns, boredom eating, gyms being closed, I know I will have gained, probably around 14-28lbs.
It will be a shock to step on those scales, especially if the gain is more than I think. I am at the gym tonight, so I could use their scales (if they still have them with Covid regulations not sure) and then get the full picture. I figure it's best to do it at the end of the workout as then I can just get in my car and cry if need to!
Big breath, I've gotta do it. I am dreading it, I can't lie! If I can't do it at the gym I would need to go to a shop I think
Anyway, would love to hear from anyone else feeling the same and any accountability buddies welcome.
But the past couple of years of struggles with mental health and lockdowns have really taken their toll on my health and I am now the unfittest and largest I have been since I was a depressed teenager....
I have worked in fitness for many years, instructed classes - crazy high energy ones like Insanity and Spin, I then went into a more holistic route with Pilates and Yoga. I don't currently teach any classes, I am having a break as I work full time, study a degree part time, volunteer for a crisis line two hours a week and have my own fitness journey to go on! Really missing a Yoga practice in particular so I will be looking to get to a class and will be trying some out asap. Even pre-pandemic I had a really tough year in 2019, so the bad habits started then. I struggle with my mental health and sometimes I just stuff my face out of boredom/as a pick me up. Feels really silly when I think about all of my experience and fitness qualifications, yet here I am, struggling
My parents both have health issues including T2 Diabetes, heart issues, high blood pressure, I am struggling to get clothes to fit me as I don't seem to realise I have gone up 1-2 dress sizes and keep buying my old size! I feel uncomfortable, I feel unfit. There couldn't be a clearer message from the universe to start taking care of my health.I don't want to go back to my old body hating ways - I am focusing on health, fitness and comfort levels. I used to torture myself that I didn't look like fitness models, celebs etc and I know this is silly and unrealistic as most of the time, they don't actually look like they are shown in photos.
It's painful to admit it but I am approaching 40, I don't want to be an unfit 40 year old!
Hubby is very supportive and loves me and still fancies me so that helps me to be positive!
My goal is to get back to fitness, good health, flexible, and strong. I am working with a PT once a week as I want to get strong and start lifting heavy weights (I've always done light weights, used to teach Body Pump etc) I am back at the gym this week. I have two weeks until a holiday so just seeing what I can do in two weeks to feel a little better on the beach.
I invested in some decent gym gear and I feel fine when I am at the gym and I am enjoying my workouts - especially with having that end goal of lifting heavy.
Trouble is....I need to weigh myself right?! I need a starting point and to update my calorie figures etc. I really don't want to! I never weigh myself. Last time I was weighed was January 2020 at the Drs for a medication review and she noted a significant increase then. Since then with lockdowns, boredom eating, gyms being closed, I know I will have gained, probably around 14-28lbs.
It will be a shock to step on those scales, especially if the gain is more than I think. I am at the gym tonight, so I could use their scales (if they still have them with Covid regulations not sure) and then get the full picture. I figure it's best to do it at the end of the workout as then I can just get in my car and cry if need to!
Big breath, I've gotta do it. I am dreading it, I can't lie! If I can't do it at the gym I would need to go to a shop I think
Anyway, would love to hear from anyone else feeling the same and any accountability buddies welcome.
9
Replies
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If you don't think knowing that number is something you can do right now, could you maybe enlist someone else's help? Like, have someone else--your husband? a gym buddy?--be the one to look at the scale and note down the number for you, then you can go somewhere else where you have space and privacy to feel whatever you're going to feel about that information. Everyone is still reeling from the past 15 months, it is OK to baby yourself a little bit. Your brain has been through enough, she deserves this small respite.8
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Remind yourself that you are already making positive changes and doing what is necessary to care for your body. You don't have to step on the scale if you are not ready. Use your best estimate to calculate nutrition goals and wait to step on the scale until you are ready. Focus on doing those things that make you feel happy and healthy.3
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If you need the scale number to keep yourself on track then just rip the bandaid. It only takes a second. You may feel bad afterward, but it won't last forever and you'll feel good when you start to see results. As it stands, you're torturing yourself and feeling bad all the time. You deserve better.
You can guesstimate your weight for calorie purposes and track your progress through monthly body measurements if you really don't want to weigh yourself. That works too. I do recommend you step on the scale, though. The sooner you treat your weight as a data point through constant exposure to weight numbers, the sooner you'll be able to get over your scale phobia. So what if you've gained 15, or 50, or even 100? What does that even mean since you've already decided to make changes? Gaining weight is not shameful. It simply means you've constantly exceeded your energy needs, and all you need to do about it is develop strategies and habits to stop exceeding them. The process of troubleshooting your habits is the same whether you weigh 150 or 550, so focus on that instead of your weight number (which can be very useful as a data point).6 -
I gained 30lbs in 3 months. It killed me to step on the scale but it was the smartest thing I could've done because it inspired me to stick to a calorie deficit and exercise routine. You don't have to weigh yourself but even when it hurts most of the time it holds people accountable. My advice is this tell yourself this is a start weight which isn't good or bad you can judge your progress in a month or so when you've been changing your eating and exercising more but for now you just need a starting point to begin. You're not alone, I lost my closest sibling in 2019 and then the pandemic hit 2020 so it's been a serious rollercoaster ride but I'm glad that you're taking your health seriously like I am.4
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You *can* not weigh yourself, if that's what you prefer. You can use clothes fit, tape measurements, monthly progress photos, or something like that, to gauge your progress, if that works better for you.
However, I'm betting that when you *do* achieve some progress, you're going to want to know what that "before" weight was.😉
Sure, have someone else (trusted) look at the scale, and note the number for you to look at later, if you prefer. That's fine.
But we're really just talking about one data point, a snapshot of your body's very momentary relationship with gravity, a number that changes from hour to hour, day to day, really meaningless on its own. *For sure*, that number - even a long series of such numbers over time - is not any kind of indicator of your worth or success as a well-rounded human being. Is it worth giving it power? I vote "nah". But it's your call.8 -
Skip the scale if you’re not ready. It’s ok. The world won’t end if you do you.
Log what you eat, if you’re up for logging. Just go ahead and log, without a goal. After a couple-few weeks, you’ll have a sense of what your current norm is. You’ll probably have an idea of some simple habit you could add into your life to bring some health in.
Add in some more veggies at a meal. Add in some more veggies at each meal. Add in some lean protein. Add in some omega-3’s. Maybe you notice you’re eating a lot between breakfast and lunch... so add in a bigger breakfast. You know... look for trends and spots that you can make easy fixes and easy habit changes.
You don’t have to make big, intimidating changes. Little steps. Build confidence moving in the direction you want to go.3 -
I really get the way you are feeling! I was terrified to step on the scale when I started this journey and in fact, waited until I had been logging at a deficit for a week before I felt brave enough to do it because I felt like then, even if the number was more than I felt like I could handle, I was already doing everything I could to change it. One of the things that helped me get over my fear was reminding myself that the scale is just a tool that reflects a number that is one of the factors that influences my health. That’s it. It has nothing to do with how beautiful I am, how valuable I am, or how meaningful my life is. I also hated the idea of the scale having power over me (I didn’t step on a scale for 5 years) and I wanted to “beat” it. Now, I weigh daily because the more data points I have, the less power any individual point can wield.
That being said, everyone’s journey is their own and if you aren’t feeling ready, that’s ok! The main thing is to start taking care of your health and all the rest of the things will come later.5 -
No, you don’t have to weigh yourself. In your post you set out your goals: fitness, good health, flexible and strong. Actually good health is not really within our control but those other things are. And none of those is measured by a scale. So maybe you don’t want to weigh yourself. It’s OK. It’s certainly not required.
Personally, I’ve gotten through covid pretty well according to the scale. I’ve gained from about 173 to about 176lbs. Comfortably under my goal weight. But I’m fatter, less fit and less flexible. So in the big picture the scale isn’t the be all and end all we tend to make it. Part of the reason its so popular is that its easy and direct. Measuring fitness and flexibility are more complicated.
Last thought- I used to follow a macro counting FB page. Macro counting is popular with people who train with weights and a lot of them were women. A common theme was women who ditched the scale. They would describe how for years they made themselves miserable in pursuit of a number on the scale. But then they discovered lifting, added muscle, forgot about the scale, and became stronger and more fit. Later when they checked their weight they found they were 10 lbs or more over what they had thought was ideal (even into overweight BMI) but felt much better physically and mentally. And they looked terrific in the pictures that they posted.
The scale has its limits.2 -
I faced the moment of truth yesterday after having not weighed myself for a year. I definitely gained the Quarantine 15, heaviest I've ever been!!
But it motivated me to start counting calories again and paying attention to what I was putting in my mouth. It's an important step toward things getting back to "normal" for me. If you don't want to weigh yourself you could take body measurements instead or just rely on "non-scale" goals such as "I want to fit into this pair of jeans again" etc. 3 -
I know the feeling. Between my not weighing/logging for the past few years, and then lockdown (closed gym, no pool, routines thrown off, etc), I was in a bad way. It wasn't fun getting on that scale, but here I am, 6 months later, a little lighter. I'm taking the weight off really slowly. As in, so slowly I can't weigh every day or week because it won't show up. So I weigh every 3 months and look for about a 5 lb loss. If I didn't know my starting weight, I would not know if this is working or not because my calorie deficit is so small.
Like the others have already said, it's ONE data point about you. It isn't who you are. You're truly not defined by a number on the scale. It's a good life lesson to really think about that. See yourself as your loving husband does. It would pain him to hear your internal voices berating yourself when he sees so much to love and cherish. THAT is the you to see. See HER. The scale is a number, yes. It tells you how your body and gravity interact. But you're so much more than that. And you're already on your way to making new data points.
You've got lots of people on your side 4 -
I felt the same way with weighing myself again a few months back. I remembered shortly before covid, I was probably around 235-240 lbs and I already knew I would have to get back on the diet and workout grind again soon. Covid happened and I got lazy and ate a bunch of junk. Then gyms reopened in March and I haven’t weighed myself since precovid. I got really anxious checking my weight the first day I got back to working out so I decided not to check. A week after, I decided to step on the scale in my house. I made good progress that whole week. I avoided all junk food, I worked out 5 times that week. I was surprised on how much I weighed. It read 264 lbs. I gained nearly 20 lbs that whole year of covid. It was scary at first, but I kept telling myself it will get better! From March to now, I have lost 22 lbs. some of it may have been water weight, but regardless, I made progress! But I didn’t check my weight every morning I woke up. I’d usually check every week. I didn’t want to get so obsessed with the scale. But really, f*** the scale (sorry for language). Don’t let it intimidate you. You’ll notice progress as time goes. Just keep eating right and working out and of course patience. I had to keep telling myself to be patient and not expect any quick results. I made so much progress in the last 2-3 months. I imagine how I’d look in one year, that’s one of the things that keeps me going, but most importantly my health! You got this and again... HECK the scale! I hope the best for you.5
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Hi all,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I thought no one had replied haha, I didn't realise we were not notified of replies!
I did it! I stepped on the scales at the gym on Tuesday, before my workout so had trainers on, better at the moment with it being a shared scale anyway and figured a couple of pounds of clothing doesn't really matter.
It was not as bad as I was expecting. I have joined the Quarantine 15 club lol and I have gained 14lbs since my last weigh-in January 2020. So not great as I was already on a big gain then, now I've added to it, but it could've been worse, I was expecting more like 20-28lbs gain.
I was ok, it wasn't a shock, not as much as the Jan 2020 one was
and then I had to listen to a diet lecture from the nurse so it was quite excruciating.
I have the start point and I know that it has gone on slowly, so it will come off slowly (I don't do crash diets etc, I can't function on a very low calorie diet) I am back at the gym this week which is going well. I am making slow gradual changes to how I eat. I don't want to go back to my old obsessive calorie counting, daily weighing bs, so I am feeling quite level headed about it. I am hyper aware of how different I look, will feel very conscious on my holiday in a couple of weeks, but I am trying to practice kindness to myself.
Hoping everyone is doing well
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lesterlopez12 wrote: »I felt the same way with weighing myself again a few months back. I remembered shortly before covid, I was probably around 235-240 lbs and I already knew I would have to get back on the diet and workout grind again soon. Covid happened and I got lazy and ate a bunch of junk. Then gyms reopened in March and I haven’t weighed myself since precovid. I got really anxious checking my weight the first day I got back to working out so I decided not to check. A week after, I decided to step on the scale in my house. I made good progress that whole week. I avoided all junk food, I worked out 5 times that week. I was surprised on how much I weighed. It read 264 lbs. I gained nearly 20 lbs that whole year of covid. It was scary at first, but I kept telling myself it will get better! From March to now, I have lost 22 lbs. some of it may have been water weight, but regardless, I made progress! But I didn’t check my weight every morning I woke up. I’d usually check every week. I didn’t want to get so obsessed with the scale. But really, f*** the scale (sorry for language). Don’t let it intimidate you. You’ll notice progress as time goes. Just keep eating right and working out and of course patience. I had to keep telling myself to be patient and not expect any quick results. I made so much progress in the last 2-3 months. I imagine how I’d look in one year, that’s one of the things that keeps me going, but most importantly my health! You got this and again... HECK the scale! I hope the best for you.
It has been such a strange time that we definitely need to practice kindness to ourselves, using food as a comfort during hard times isn't ideal, but we could be doing much worse. You have made such progress well done
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girlwithcurls2 wrote: »I know the feeling. Between my not weighing/logging for the past few years, and then lockdown (closed gym, no pool, routines thrown off, etc), I was in a bad way. It wasn't fun getting on that scale, but here I am, 6 months later, a little lighter. I'm taking the weight off really slowly. As in, so slowly I can't weigh every day or week because it won't show up. So I weigh every 3 months and look for about a 5 lb loss. If I didn't know my starting weight, I would not know if this is working or not because my calorie deficit is so small.
Like the others have already said, it's ONE data point about you. It isn't who you are. You're truly not defined by a number on the scale. It's a good life lesson to really think about that. See yourself as your loving husband does. It would pain him to hear your internal voices berating yourself when he sees so much to love and cherish. THAT is the you to see. See HER. The scale is a number, yes. It tells you how your body and gravity interact. But you're so much more than that. And you're already on your way to making new data points.
You've got lots of people on your side
Aw thank you, very kind, yes trying to keep in mind that hubby isn't bothered about weight. He is on a bit of a health kick himself so we can do this together. (He doesn't have a weight issue but other things he wants to improve)
100% agree with what you said about not being defined by a number on the scale, I say that to so many people, it is true. I am just taking it as a point in time. 1 -
@hannahlg I am happy you faced your fear and stepped on the scale! Yes there are certainly other measures, but I think it is always good to have knowledge. It is merely the starting point for what will be a new way of eating and physical activity for you and just one way of measuring success.
Something I read on here a few times recently is to find a way to enjoy the process, and it sounds like taking a level headed approach is a good one. For me, I like the challenge of finding new foods and recipes to make and eat that fit into my calorie goal. Also, I just started lifting weights and find that I am enjoying it and look forward to seeing my progress.2 -
Like others, I know the feeling. This was me 6 weeks ago. Between injuring three discs that caused me to be laid up for months and Covid eating, I knew I had put on weight...I just didn't know how much. And I was scared to find out. My "fat" clothes were tight and I noticed I always sat down to put on my shoes (I had never done that before--except when pregnant). I decided to start dieting, but did not want to know "the number." After a couple days, one morning, on a whim I just did it. Yikes! It was the heaviest I had ever been. My BMI was 30.6...obese. 30 pounds up from this time last year. Boy, that lit a fire under my kitten! And I'm glad I did...as I can see in black and white all my hard earned progress. Today's BMI is 28.2 and heading downward.
Congratulations on taking steps toward a healthier you!!1
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