Not discussed enough......

wunderkindking

You can't succeed if you don't: a-) start, b-) try, c-) keep going.

I think that's all this really is and it isn't weight loss specific. I'm a recovering (some days are better than others) perfectionist. Go big or go home. Do it well or don't bother doing it at all. If you (i) am not first, you (I) am last. No gray area, no between, in anything. I was like this up until probably the last... 5-6 years of my life, and I'm in my mid 40s.

This is a CRAPPY ATTITUDE for accomplishing ANY DANGED THING EVER. It's self-defeating and it is miserable. It leads directly to being discouraged and quitting.

How I got over that is a whole different post no one here cares about, because it had nothing at all to do with weight loss. The point is that if I went into weight loss before I'd gotten my head right about this kind of stuff I would have quit 2 months in.

I'm not saying it's easy; it isn't. I'm not saying that everyone has that particular hurdle; they don't. I'm not saying that people don't have reason to struggle; they do.

But there is some truth in the OP and that truth is basically that you have to do the mental work to succeed at basically anything that is long term self-improvement and that's exactly what weight loss is.

You have to know yourself, be objective enough to see where YOUR problems are and work out (with support from a professional or just friends or even internally) how to either work through or around them.

Is that attitude? I dunno. I'm not a 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps/suck it up' person at all.

But quitting and succeeding ARE mutually exclusive, regardless of the reason you quit.

ninerbuff

MargaretYakoda wrote: »

I can barely walk. And I am someone who has been told more times than I care to remember that I need a better attitude. Simply for being realistic. Including by some really crappy doctors who just saw my weight, made a bunch of assumptions, did nothing for me - which included ignoring very real symptoms that have now made me even more disabled now than I had been before. When if they had (kitten. Is that how we do it here?) took 20 seconds and actually listened to me I would not be dealing with now for the rest of my life.

One mistake you’re making is assuming you know enough about someone based on a few forum comments to judge that they have a bad attitude. Or that the bad attitude isn’t due to something that is very real.

Attitude is important. This we agree on.

But there are other factors. Some of which really are not always under our control. That’s realistic, not a bad attitude. That’s what you don’t seem to be able to hear.

What I am saying is that if you make it all about attitude you’re definitely going to alienate some people who really have tried as hard as they are able.

Or someone who may feel they've done all they can see this and ask themselves "is there something else I can do?"
Because there always is. And if that information is given to them and they start succeeding, don't you think their attitude could change about how they feel from prior?

I'm not saying it's all just about attitude. I've had people that were positive, upbeat, enthusiastic, etc. but lacked consistency and discipline and flat out failed. And I've had people who came in with a lot of doubt, but were steadfast in their commitment to the process and succeed. One doesn't have to be like me in attitude. They just have to have the attitude that they have the ability to succeed. That's the intention here.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

MargaretYakoda

ninerbuff wrote: »

MargaretYakoda wrote: »

I can barely walk. And I am someone who has been told more times than I care to remember that I need a better attitude. Simply for being realistic. Including by some really crappy doctors who just saw my weight, made a bunch of assumptions, did nothing for me - which included ignoring very real symptoms that have now made me even more disabled now than I had been before. When if they had (kitten. Is that how we do it here?) took 20 seconds and actually listened to me I would not be dealing with now for the rest of my life.

One mistake you’re making is assuming you know enough about someone based on a few forum comments to judge that they have a bad attitude. Or that the bad attitude isn’t due to something that is very real.

Attitude is important. This we agree on.

But there are other factors. Some of which really are not always under our control. That’s realistic, not a bad attitude. That’s what you don’t seem to be able to hear.

What I am saying is that if you make it all about attitude you’re definitely going to alienate some people who really have tried as hard as they are able.

Or someone who may feel they've done all they can see this and ask themselves "is there something else I can do?"
Because there always is. And if that information is given to them and they start succeeding, don't you think their attitude could change about how they feel from prior?

I'm not saying it's all just about attitude. I've had people that were positive, upbeat, enthusiastic, etc. but lacked consistency and discipline and flat out failed. And I've had people who came in with a lot of doubt, but were steadfast in their commitment to the process and succeed. One doesn't have to be like me in attitude. They just have to have the attitude that they have the ability to succeed. That's the intention here.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Again.
No.
Sometimes there really isn’t anything else left to try.

I am saying this as a disabled person. There really are some instances where there’s nothing left to try. Or if there is, it’s out of reach.

If I couldn’t afford my NuStep? I’d be in trouble. Especially considering the medical neglect I’ve experienced from doctors who only saw me as fat and lazy.

And it’s not a bad attitude to acknowledge it.

ninerbuff

MargaretYakoda wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

MargaretYakoda wrote: »

I can barely walk. And I am someone who has been told more times than I care to remember that I need a better attitude. Simply for being realistic. Including by some really crappy doctors who just saw my weight, made a bunch of assumptions, did nothing for me - which included ignoring very real symptoms that have now made me even more disabled now than I had been before. When if they had (kitten. Is that how we do it here?) took 20 seconds and actually listened to me I would not be dealing with now for the rest of my life.

One mistake you’re making is assuming you know enough about someone based on a few forum comments to judge that they have a bad attitude. Or that the bad attitude isn’t due to something that is very real.

Attitude is important. This we agree on.

But there are other factors. Some of which really are not always under our control. That’s realistic, not a bad attitude. That’s what you don’t seem to be able to hear.

What I am saying is that if you make it all about attitude you’re definitely going to alienate some people who really have tried as hard as they are able.

Or someone who may feel they've done all they can see this and ask themselves "is there something else I can do?"
Because there always is. And if that information is given to them and they start succeeding, don't you think their attitude could change about how they feel from prior?

I'm not saying it's all just about attitude. I've had people that were positive, upbeat, enthusiastic, etc. but lacked consistency and discipline and flat out failed. And I've had people who came in with a lot of doubt, but were steadfast in their commitment to the process and succeed. One doesn't have to be like me in attitude. They just have to have the attitude that they have the ability to succeed. That's the intention here.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Again.
No.
Sometimes there really isn’t anything else left to try.

I am saying this as a disabled person. There really are some instances where there’s nothing left to try. Or if there is, it’s out of reach.

If I couldn’t afford my NuStep? I’d be in trouble. Especially considering the medical neglect I’ve experienced from doctors who only saw me as fat and lazy.

And it’s not a bad attitude to acknowledge it.

Then we differ in opinion. I wish you good luck though. Hope you find your solution.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

MargaretYakoda

ninerbuff wrote: »

MargaretYakoda wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

MargaretYakoda wrote: »

I can barely walk. And I am someone who has been told more times than I care to remember that I need a better attitude. Simply for being realistic. Including by some really crappy doctors who just saw my weight, made a bunch of assumptions, did nothing for me - which included ignoring very real symptoms that have now made me even more disabled now than I had been before. When if they had (kitten. Is that how we do it here?) took 20 seconds and actually listened to me I would not be dealing with now for the rest of my life.

One mistake you’re making is assuming you know enough about someone based on a few forum comments to judge that they have a bad attitude. Or that the bad attitude isn’t due to something that is very real.

Attitude is important. This we agree on.

But there are other factors. Some of which really are not always under our control. That’s realistic, not a bad attitude. That’s what you don’t seem to be able to hear.

What I am saying is that if you make it all about attitude you’re definitely going to alienate some people who really have tried as hard as they are able.

Or someone who may feel they've done all they can see this and ask themselves "is there something else I can do?"
Because there always is. And if that information is given to them and they start succeeding, don't you think their attitude could change about how they feel from prior?

I'm not saying it's all just about attitude. I've had people that were positive, upbeat, enthusiastic, etc. but lacked consistency and discipline and flat out failed. And I've had people who came in with a lot of doubt, but were steadfast in their commitment to the process and succeed. One doesn't have to be like me in attitude. They just have to have the attitude that they have the ability to succeed. That's the intention here.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Again.
No.
Sometimes there really isn’t anything else left to try.

I am saying this as a disabled person. There really are some instances where there’s nothing left to try. Or if there is, it’s out of reach.

If I couldn’t afford my NuStep? I’d be in trouble. Especially considering the medical neglect I’ve experienced from doctors who only saw me as fat and lazy.

And it’s not a bad attitude to acknowledge it.

Then we differ in opinion. I wish you good luck though. Hope you find your solution.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

OK. We definitely differ in opinion.

And if you had listened to me you would have known that I’m doing fine on my health and weight loss journey.

I do hear what you’re saying. I am not completely dismissing the role of attitude. I’m just saying it isn’t everything.

Taking a slightly different tack: Budgeting.
I use a program called YNAB. It’s brilliant because it always grounds the person in their financial reality.

On financial forums sometimes people will ask a question that indicates they’re in a real desperate financial state.

Usually the advice is to cut back this, and cut back that, etc. All good advice, generally.
But sometimes there isn’t anything left to cut. It’s just a reality for some. Especially disabled people.

The solution isn’t to just have a positive attitude (although yes, it helps). There might not be a solution. The solution really might be bankruptcy. Or some other really super drastic move, like living in your car (been there, done that)
And when a person is in a desperate situation like that? No amount of telling someone they have a negative attitude is going to help. There’s only so many restaurant meals and extravagant items a person can cut from their budget.

Similarly with diets. And it’s very important to encourage people who are in this position, not tell them their attitude is a problem.

MargaretYakoda

Adding to my above comment: Some of the weight I am currently carrying comes from the time I was living in my car and relying on community meals to survive. It’s often a LOT of pasta or potatoes. Which aren’t the devil if eaten in moderation. But combined with my balance disorder? Really really didn’t help. And there wasn’t very much I could do about it at the time. For real.

How I got out of that situation was pure luck. Nothing else.

Indialove901

Attitude is important but in the beginning, it’s common to feel like “I can’t do this!” What worked for me was first creating a habit. Once I created a habit and started to feel better, then my attitude shifted in a positive direction!!! This varies by person. So if someone is struggling with being positive, try this approach and just keep going!!!