Not discussed enough......
ninerbuff
Posts: 49,028 Member
The forums cover a lot on diets and exercise, but IMO it doesn't address the one main thing that I believe all successful people have that helped them achieve their success........................................ATTITUDE.
Let's face it, you can have all the right info, all the right equipment for cooking, prepping, working out, etc. but if your ATTITUDE sucks, then good luck with being successful.
There are lots and lots of successful people who didn't have all of the above, yet managed along even when stalls (not plateaus), obstacles, interfering loved ones/friends/family got involved, tough situations, hardships, job, etc. because they had an ATTITUDE that even with all that, they will continue on a consistent program and succeed.
There are so many people that friended me because they wanted to follow me or learn and within a month or so, are gone. All that tells me is that they didn't have the attitude to apply themselves to doing what they were trying to achieve. Personally my best clients are the ones who fail reaching their weekly goal, but have the tenacity to continue on even if that goal one pound loss was only a half pound loss. They keep making the decision to continue even though it's not exactly what they desire. But in the long run (which for the majority is what it is) they did/will reach their goal and I believe appreciate it more than someone who loses fast and then only stays there a short time because they believe they can do it again if it happens again.
Not everything is going to go your way. You can do everything right and still get so so results. You can have a great week, then one that sucks. You can have a loss, then a gain. And those with that ATTITUDE that it's just part of the process will understand this rather than quit or give up.
So check YOUR ATTITUDE. How do you really feel? Do you bash yourself or your program because results are slow or almost non existent? Do you throw your hands up and then go binge because you don't think all this is worth it?
One thing I have to remind my clients sometimes is that it's not always going to be easy. You have to get a backbone instead of a wishbone. Suck it up, take the bad with the good and understand it will all come together IF your ATTITUDE is one that you will prevail regardless.
"It's your ATTITUDE, not your APTITUDE, that determines your ALTITUDE".
Hope your weekend is great! Mine always is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Let's face it, you can have all the right info, all the right equipment for cooking, prepping, working out, etc. but if your ATTITUDE sucks, then good luck with being successful.
There are lots and lots of successful people who didn't have all of the above, yet managed along even when stalls (not plateaus), obstacles, interfering loved ones/friends/family got involved, tough situations, hardships, job, etc. because they had an ATTITUDE that even with all that, they will continue on a consistent program and succeed.
There are so many people that friended me because they wanted to follow me or learn and within a month or so, are gone. All that tells me is that they didn't have the attitude to apply themselves to doing what they were trying to achieve. Personally my best clients are the ones who fail reaching their weekly goal, but have the tenacity to continue on even if that goal one pound loss was only a half pound loss. They keep making the decision to continue even though it's not exactly what they desire. But in the long run (which for the majority is what it is) they did/will reach their goal and I believe appreciate it more than someone who loses fast and then only stays there a short time because they believe they can do it again if it happens again.
Not everything is going to go your way. You can do everything right and still get so so results. You can have a great week, then one that sucks. You can have a loss, then a gain. And those with that ATTITUDE that it's just part of the process will understand this rather than quit or give up.
So check YOUR ATTITUDE. How do you really feel? Do you bash yourself or your program because results are slow or almost non existent? Do you throw your hands up and then go binge because you don't think all this is worth it?
One thing I have to remind my clients sometimes is that it's not always going to be easy. You have to get a backbone instead of a wishbone. Suck it up, take the bad with the good and understand it will all come together IF your ATTITUDE is one that you will prevail regardless.
"It's your ATTITUDE, not your APTITUDE, that determines your ALTITUDE".
Hope your weekend is great! Mine always is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
20
Replies
-
Attitude is important, but I think equally important is understanding and education about the process and time scales, learning new habits, current circumstances, financial position, family & children and how much you can break from family routine to achieve your personal goals. The ability to adapt and grow as a person, and love yourself, is also very important.
I’ve always had a great attitude, but the David Goggins ‘get hard’ approach to life and challenges does not work for everyone (myself included). I can understand why attitude is a core pillar of yours, but those that struggle day to day with weight loss over a decade are not ‘failing’ simply because of attitude.
Don’t get me wrong, attitude is important, but is only part of the recipe for me personally.8 -
I absolutely agree! It doesn't mean having an absolutely positive, happy-go-lucky attitude all the time (because that's unrealistic, not to mention unhealthy IMO), but a realistic attitude. Maybe you do feel sorry for yourself for a bit when things or hard or make mistakes--but you don't wallow in it or use it as excuses to slide back into old habits, telling yourself "It'll never work."
I think what goes along with attitude is self-awareness: knowing what you can realistically maintain long-term, know what your strengths and weaknesses are, and coping mechanisms. This is and changing my mindset is what has allowed me to reach my "ultimate" goal weight in way that didn't feel *too* challenging, and with the belief I actually could achieve and maintain it.6 -
I am now in this for the long haul. I just started but I'm looking at my trends in weight reduction but more importantly how I feel as I am doing something good for me. I do have a PHD in self pity but I know if I want to succeed, I must have faith that I am on a journey to wellness.4
-
You can have all of those at hand and be great at them, but then again if the attitude of negativity,pessimism, procrastination, lack of seriousness, lack of commitment aren't the there, it's not gonna matter. The old saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" rings true.Attitude is important, but I think equally important is understanding and education about the process and time scales, learning new habits, current circumstances, financial position, family & children and how much you can break from family routine to achieve your personal goals. The ability to adapt and grow as a person, and love yourself, is also very important.
I’ve always had a great attitude, but the David Goggins ‘get hard’ approach to life and challenges does not work for everyone (myself included). I can understand why attitude is a core pillar of yours, but those that struggle day to day with weight loss over a decade are not ‘failing’ simply because of attitude.
Don’t get me wrong, attitude is important, but is only part of the recipe for me personally.
It's not about being "hard", it's about being resilient when it gets hard. If people already feel they are going to fail without even getting started, then it's almost a guarantee that they will.
A good example is when a contest is put up. Whether it's money or a prize where a group of people have to achieve something (doesn't matter what it is) over say a month's time, 50% will almost concede that they aren't going to win. About halfway through, another 25% will drop out because they then think they have no chance. In the last week, only about 10% will be competing for top prize. So why only 10% if everyone had the same chance at the beginning? Attitude of how they felt. Successful people ALWAYS believe that the game ain't over till it's over.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
3 -
Thanks for the reminder. I have been struggling with poor motivation and focusing too much on numbers. I have a great trainer and I have noticed that I am improving at each work out. I don't notice it on the scale or the measurements but I can do things I couldn't before. Attitude is one of the things that can bring you down and sabotage your health goals.3
-
My current attitude is that I'm too lazy to bold quote the same section @ninerbuff just did from @KevHex's quote 😂 But it stood out for me as well because those (very relevant) issues can also be dealt with differently depending on attitude/mindset.
The only nugget I'd add to this topic is the potential to take the lessons of discipline learned with your individual journey with diet and exercise in a way that allows you to apply it to other aspects of your life.
Leverage the lessons so that all areas of your life become healthier.
You may be surprised at just how much journaling, accountability, consistency, moderation, etc can upgrade you.3 -
Absolutely. Success will breed success when applied to other aspects in your life. There are many people disciplined in diet and exercise, have a great physique and do all the right things for their physical being, but I've seen where they don't apply that same approach to just say their relationship and they flat out fail at it.My current attitude is that I'm too lazy to bold quote the same section @ninerbuff just did from @KevHex's quote 😂 But it stood out for me as well because those (very relevant) issues can also be dealt with differently depending on attitude/mindset.
The only nugget I'd add to this topic is the potential to take the lessons of discipline learned with your individual journey with diet and exercise in a way that allows you to apply it to other aspects of your life.
Leverage the lessons so that all areas of your life become healthier.
You may be surprised at just how much journaling, accountability, consistency, moderation, etc can upgrade you.
Life for me has to have good balance in order to be fulfilled. So even outside the gym, my attitude is one of enthusiasm regardless of whatever is going on (well with the exception of tragedy of course). But I've always been a glass half full guy ever since I was a kid. And starting out as a 5'6" 126lbs 19 year old to where I am now took a lot of rough turns, but my attitude helped me endure it. As well as other great hardships in my life (was almost homeless once).
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 2 -
Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
5 -
I actually lose weight the easiest if I am not happy ... if I am slightly angry or highly stressed.
When I'm very stressed, I don't eat and the weight just drops off.
If I am slightly angry, I have an amazing amount of willpower and will do everything to lose weight. I've found the same thing for my long distance cycling events as well ... if something annoys me on the ride, there's a good chance I will finish the ride in a reasonable time. I'm more likely to DNF if I feel blah about everything or too complacent.
Unfortunately, these days I am on a mild SNRI for hot flashes and some depression (long story), and it is actually difficult for me to get angry.8 -
We may be talking different things here. When it comes to weight loss and health improvement, there are limitations dependent on the health and well being of the person. But on average, attitude directly impacts how one approaches and applies themselves to reaching goals.MargaretYakoda wrote: »Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.
And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
5 -
We may be talking different things here. When it comes to weight loss and health improvement, there are limitations dependent on the health and well being of the person. But on average, attitude directly impacts how one approaches and applies themselves to reaching goals.MargaretYakoda wrote: »Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.
And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.
Sometimes things are impossible.
Should we stop there? Probably not.
But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.6 -
As a Certified Trainer in Rehabilitation exercise I REALIZE limitations for anyone who is physically disabled. Obviously, I'm not going to get a paraplegic to walk. But it DOESN'T mean they can't apply themselves in other ways. One DOESN'T have to be consigned to a life of self pity and misery because there so much more that can still be done. And it just doesn't have to do with physicality. If the attitude is that there is NOTHING that one can do to change their life or situation, then it is the major obstacle.MargaretYakoda wrote: »
We may be talking different things here. When it comes to weight loss and health improvement, there are limitations dependent on the health and well being of the person. But on average, attitude directly impacts how one approaches and applies themselves to reaching goals.MargaretYakoda wrote: »Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.
And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.
Sometimes things are impossible.
Should we stop there? Probably not.
But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.
We can debate this all day, but from FIRST HAND experience and dealing with it for over 30 years with people who've had physical struggles, I can attest that when they have a great attitude and apply themselves correctly, great things happen. You can disagree all you like, but you're likely speaking mostly for yourself and not the hundred others that I've encountered and am happy to say changed their lives for the better.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
4 -
As a Certified Trainer in Rehabilitation exercise I REALIZE limitations for anyone who is physically disabled. Obviously, I'm not going to get a paraplegic to walk. But it DOESN'T mean they can't apply themselves in other ways. One DOESN'T have to be consigned to a life of self pity and misery because there so much more that can still be done. And it just doesn't have to do with physicality. If the attitude is that there is NOTHING that one can do to change their life or situation, then it is the major obstacle.MargaretYakoda wrote: »
We may be talking different things here. When it comes to weight loss and health improvement, there are limitations dependent on the health and well being of the person. But on average, attitude directly impacts how one approaches and applies themselves to reaching goals.MargaretYakoda wrote: »Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.
And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.
Sometimes things are impossible.
Should we stop there? Probably not.
But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.
We can debate this all day, but from FIRST HAND experience and dealing with it for over 30 years with people who've had physical struggles, I can attest that when they have a great attitude and apply themselves correctly, great things happen. You can disagree all you like, but you're likely speaking mostly for yourself and not the hundred others that I've encountered and am happy to say changed their lives for the better.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Ummm…. I am losing weight. My attitude is just fine.
I’m saying your emphasis here on attitude only seems very problematic from the point of view of a physically disabled person.
2 -
Probably because you may not have been given options? I've trained people in wheelchairs, with one arm, with one hand, etc.MargaretYakoda wrote: »
As a Certified Trainer in Rehabilitation exercise I REALIZE limitations for anyone who is physically disabled. Obviously, I'm not going to get a paraplegic to walk. But it DOESN'T mean they can't apply themselves in other ways. One DOESN'T have to be consigned to a life of self pity and misery because there so much more that can still be done. And it just doesn't have to do with physicality. If the attitude is that there is NOTHING that one can do to change their life or situation, then it is the major obstacle.MargaretYakoda wrote: »
We may be talking different things here. When it comes to weight loss and health improvement, there are limitations dependent on the health and well being of the person. But on average, attitude directly impacts how one approaches and applies themselves to reaching goals.MargaretYakoda wrote: »Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.
And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.
Sometimes things are impossible.
Should we stop there? Probably not.
But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.
We can debate this all day, but from FIRST HAND experience and dealing with it for over 30 years with people who've had physical struggles, I can attest that when they have a great attitude and apply themselves correctly, great things happen. You can disagree all you like, but you're likely speaking mostly for yourself and not the hundred others that I've encountered and am happy to say changed their lives for the better.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Ummm…. I am losing weight. My attitude is just fine.
I’m saying your emphasis here on attitude only seems very problematic from the point of view of a physically disabled person.
It's maybe only problematic because they may feel they are limited to a couple of options. Wouldn't giving them many more be a boost?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
1 -
MargaretYakoda wrote: »
As a Certified Trainer in Rehabilitation exercise I REALIZE limitations for anyone who is physically disabled. Obviously, I'm not going to get a paraplegic to walk. But it DOESN'T mean they can't apply themselves in other ways. One DOESN'T have to be consigned to a life of self pity and misery because there so much more that can still be done. And it just doesn't have to do with physicality. If the attitude is that there is NOTHING that one can do to change their life or situation, then it is the major obstacle.MargaretYakoda wrote: »
We may be talking different things here. When it comes to weight loss and health improvement, there are limitations dependent on the health and well being of the person. But on average, attitude directly impacts how one approaches and applies themselves to reaching goals.MargaretYakoda wrote: »Attitude helps. Definitely. But it’s not everything.
A little understanding of how different people process things differently goes a long way. Learned helplessness is a real thing, and I prefer to be encouraging but understanding of the real roadblocks people deal with.
ADHD makes a difference. - I definitely forget to exercise more often than I care to admit.
Disability makes a difference. - I can’t walk without extreme difficulty.
Etc.
No amount of “great attitude” is going to magically make me able to climb stairs, for instance. And if it’s a fun run, or an athletic competition? I’m not even going to bother to enter the race. This isn’t bad attitude. It’s reality for me.
While you may have a disability walking, if the attitude is that you're NEVER going to lose weight because of it, then it's going to be a detriment to success. There are other ways to exercise or be physically active without having to be in total pain.
And currently I train a down syndrome teen whom I met when he was at the middle school I yard duty at. His parents trusted me and I now see him 2 times a week and he's excited to come and see me each time. I make his workouts enjoyable and to his ability. There's always a way.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I’m saying you seem - from the point of view of a physically disabled person - to be making it literally all about attitude. And there are other considerations.
Sometimes things are impossible.
Should we stop there? Probably not.
But telling people they have the wrong attitude when they’re overweight and struggling can backfire pretty hard if that person is already at their stress limit. Which they likely are if they’re severely overweight and physically disabled.
We can debate this all day, but from FIRST HAND experience and dealing with it for over 30 years with people who've had physical struggles, I can attest that when they have a great attitude and apply themselves correctly, great things happen. You can disagree all you like, but you're likely speaking mostly for yourself and not the hundred others that I've encountered and am happy to say changed their lives for the better.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Ummm…. I am losing weight. My attitude is just fine.
I’m saying your emphasis here on attitude only seems very problematic from the point of view of a physically disabled person.
Question from a lurker/ally : May I ask why you think this when there are adaptable exercises (or rehabilitation programs) for people living with varying abilities, both physical and mental?
I realize answering this question may require emotional labour and, as such, please know that as an ally to all I appreciate your continuing the dialogue in this thread.
It's informative yet there's still a gap of understanding for me, hence the question.1 -
This content has been removed.
-
Fidgetbrain wrote: »I don’t think anyone actually disagrees with your point, anything is possible with the right attitude eventually but for someone with far more obstacles to overcome than an able bodied person it might feel like you’re implying they simply aren’t trying hard enough to achieve the same as others when it may take far more dedication on their part to still make slower progress. The right attitude can always bring you further up the hill but we all have different hills and will reach different heights with the same effort! I think this was what you were trying to say anyway but it sounded at little like it should be a linear scale of attitude to results when really it’s a far more complex model : )
Bingo.
4 -
And, adding to what @Fidgetbrain wrote, it seems like the mirror to the line of thinking that goes “You’re overweight because you’re not trying hard enough.” Which is something that is very difficult to hear when you’re trying as hard as you can, but you can’t get a doctor to listen to your symptoms (low thyroid and a crappy doctor gifted me 100 lbs). Or when you’re working 60 hours a week just to get bread on the table and you’re flat out exhausted from trying to survive. Etc.
A little grace goes a very long way.8 -
Thank you to you both @Fidgetbrain and @MargaretYakoda
While I didn't necessarily read that from @ninerbuff's posts (or have that intention to infer this in my post), I hear you - both of you - and appreciate you sharing your experiences. It happens to be personally helpful but also helpful in the work I'm committed to do (umm, when I'm not playing Acronym Game /callback)4 -
It WILL be harder with people who progress slowly due to injury, ability, etc. And for them, it would be the easiest to give IF NOT for an attitude of tenacity, diligence, and perseverance. Many times in these forums, I see threads where people who are much heavier than average create excuses as to why they may never get to a normal weight so they concede before even trying. A defeatist attitude won't get one to where they need to. One has to just keep plugging away even with all the deterrents they may face. I personally would rather train someone who does it that way even if their results come much slower. Because in the end, they really appreciate themselves for being strong through. People that can lose fast or anytime they want aren't the ones who impress me.Fidgetbrain wrote: »I don’t think anyone actually disagrees with your point, anything is possible with the right attitude eventually but for someone with far more obstacles to overcome than an able bodied person it might feel like you’re implying they simply aren’t trying hard enough to achieve the same as others when it may take far more dedication on their part to still make slower progress. The right attitude can always bring you further up the hill but we all have different hills and will reach different heights with the same effort! I think this was what you were trying to say anyway but it sounded at little like it should be a linear scale of attitude to results when really it’s a far more complex model : )
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
1 -
I can barely walk. And I am someone who has been told more times than I care to remember that I need a better attitude. Simply for being realistic. Including by some really crappy doctors who just saw my weight, made a bunch of assumptions, did nothing for me - which included ignoring very real symptoms that have now made me even more disabled now than I had been before. When if they had (kitten. Is that how we do it here?) took 20 seconds and actually listened to me I would not be dealing with now for the rest of my life.
One mistake you’re making is assuming you know enough about someone based on a few forum comments to judge that they have a bad attitude. Or that the bad attitude isn’t due to something that is very real.
Attitude is important. This we agree on.
But there are other factors. Some of which really are not always under our control. That’s realistic, not a bad attitude. That’s what you don’t seem to be able to hear.
What I am saying is that if you make it all about attitude you’re definitely going to alienate some people who really have tried as hard as they are able.
3 -
How do you define a "bad attitude" ... I've already said that a bit of anger or a lot of stress help me to lose weight. Is that a "bad attitude"?
Complacency, on the other hand, seems to assist me to maintain my weight. Is that a "bad attitude"?
As for things out of our control ...
Exercise helps us to lose weight, but it is not necessary to lose weight.
Food options can help us lose weight, but we can make do with whatever is available.
Medications can make weight loss a little bit more difficult, but we can overcome that.
However, I do have a situation which is a little bit out of my control ... and I'm trying to figure out ways around it.5 -
This content has been removed.
-
I want to thank you for starting up such an interesting debate. I cannot disagree with your many years experience and first hand experience of people with physical struggles that you have helped change their lives for better. I would like to comment though as this is an interesting discussion.
Attitude is not a single thing, the mind has the ability to have a relaxed attitude, positive attitude, negative attitude, indifferent attitude and threatening attitude towards many external and internal 'things' all in the same mind space at the same time.
These are my words, I am not stating anyone has directly made this point in this thread - I do not think that someone either has a good attitude or is consigned to a life of self pity and misery. I believe the mind is more complex and that people who are stuck in a rut and struggling are not there simply because of attitude. Even calling out attitude as major obstacle may be over simplifying things for those who have spent decades living the life they live and do not know there is different paths we can all take every day. How do you tell someone with mental health problems linked to obesity they simply need to sort out their attitude and all will be better.
So, it would be fair to say you have witnessed many people with a great attitude towards something that specifically changed their lives for better. These same people held other attitudes towards things at the same time as displaying the great attitude you witnessed. This life change may have built momentum in to other areas of the individuals life and has a positive impact in a wider sense. I can understand that, I lose weight, I run, I have better mental health, I am more active, I improve my overall health, I get fitter, my family love the changes in me..... then one day the wheels fall off, what happened to my attitude over night, did I change as a person, I have lost momentum, I am gaining weight etc, etc. This is a very familiar story on MFP. But at one time all these people (myself included) had a great attitude to weight loss and were willing to make life long changes. What went wrong, what was missing? This is what I am interested in, because if we answer this then we help hundreds or thousands of people understand that the wheels can fall off and they will face tough points in the journey that a good attitude simply won't be enough to get them through.
If I tell my kids the secret in life is to be happy, and then remind them that the key to getting past every obstacle is to 'be happy' I am not really doing my job as a parent. I am not sure if telling them to have a great attitude towards everything is giving them the right tools to succeed in life, it is one of the tools, but not the only tool. You are educating the people you help, I think this is the important message, that working with the right educator in any field of life has huge benefits and if the individual is focused, driven and wants to make changes then it is the prefect recipe for change.
The psychology industry would come under intense scrutiny if they tried to address every mind and behavior issue through the prism of that individual just needs a good attitude. I'm making this throwaway comparison as an example of how others could interpret a focused view on only attitude.1 -
It WILL be harder with people who progress slowly due to injury, ability, etc. And for them, it would be the easiest to give IF NOT for an attitude of tenacity, diligence, and perseverance. Many times in these forums, I see threads where people who are much heavier than average create excuses as to why they may never get to a normal weight so they concede before even trying. A defeatist attitude won't get one to where they need to. One has to just keep plugging away even with all the deterrents they may face. I personally would rather train someone who does it that way even if their results come much slower. Because in the end, they really appreciate themselves for being strong through. People that can lose fast or anytime they want aren't the ones who impress me.
I would argue that tenacity, diligence and perseverance are individual character traits, learned though nature and nurture. Liking them to a mindset is more accurate, calling them an attitude is off the mark I think. Like all mindsets they are subject to change due to hormones, chemicals, mental health, stress, alcohol, sugar intake, will power, kids behavior, life, favorite team doing well in favorite sport, partners happiness, access to financial funds, mood, individual will, collective will etc, etc, etc.
1 -
I really think the OP has good intentions with this topic. It IS true that we can have all the knowledge and tools available and at our disposal but neither will help us get fit and improve our health if we don't use them. Somehow, we have to flip a switch within us to apply the knowledge, use the tools to make positive changes in our health.
We somehow need to find a way to keep that switch flipped. It is easy to keep that switch flipped when our hard work is reinforced with the results we are looking for.
That doesn't always happen and it isn't necessarily the fault of the person trying. There are a myriad of things outside an individual's control that can impact this.
I think it is appropriate to recognize and acknowledge that this process IS more difficult for some than others. Without the reinforcement of quick results, it is easy to get discouraged. Imagine working hard at a job for a whole week and expecting a big paycheck and only getting $1.
I think those of us who have it a bit easier would do well to acknowledge that and offer support to those who are struggling and getting discouraged rather than telling them they need changed their attitude. That might be the right thing to say to someone you know well and know just needs a kick in the pants but, for many people, that is not the right approach to take.
4 -
Honestly, I think the crux of what the original post is about is not giving in to all of the obstacles and quitting. The “attitude” being referred to is not about having a constant happy disposition but perseverance in the face of the challenges and difficulties and continuing to pick ourselves up and try again when we stumble.
I did not read anything else into the post that pointed that attitude was the ONLY thing that matters or that everyone is supposed to be happy and positive all the time.6 -
Imagine working hard at a job for a whole week and expecting a big paycheck and only getting $1.
Unfortunately that does describe losing weight, building muscle, increasing endurance etc. all too well.
I can cycle an hour a day every day of the week, and burn a whole 2800 calories ... and that's not even a pound in the 1 lb = 3500 calories conversion.
I can lift weights all week, and have nothing but sore muscles to show for it.
I can cycling 50 km/day all week, and still may not be able to cycle 200 km in one ride.
It takes time ... and the big paycheck doesn't come for months or even years. If you stick with it.
3 -
Imagine working hard at a job for a whole week and expecting a big paycheck and only getting $1.
Unfortunately that does describe losing weight, building muscle, increasing endurance etc. all too well.
I can cycle an hour a day every day of the week, and burn a whole 2800 calories ... and that's not even a pound in the 1 lb = 3500 calories conversion.
I can lift weights all week, and have nothing but sore muscles to show for it.
I can cycling 50 km/day all week, and still may not be able to cycle 200 km in one ride.
It takes time ... and the big paycheck doesn't come for months or even years. If you stick with it.
EXACTLY! This is why I believe that people who are getting discouraged need encouragement and support rather than be told to "suck it up". That's just my opinion.
3 -
I don't disagree here. Though I'm an optimist, I'm also a realist. I could train and and have the most positive feeling in the world that I could dunk a basketball.........and that likely won't ever happen based on my height and leaping ability. When my mom was in the hospital with pneumonia and broken ribs, I wasn't negative, but I wasn't positive she was going to make it through it either. So I hear where you're coming from.I want to thank you for starting up such an interesting debate. I cannot disagree with your many years experience and first hand experience of people with physical struggles that you have helped change their lives for better. I would like to comment though as this is an interesting discussion.
Attitude is not a single thing, the mind has the ability to have a relaxed attitude, positive attitude, negative attitude, indifferent attitude and threatening attitude towards many external and internal 'things' all in the same mind space at the same time.
Well I believe how we think about things develops over time and many get consigned to it. If someone always believes they'll never succeed, it does carry over to just about every aspect in their life. Now I'm mostly referring to people who don't have any mental illness, but to people who are sound of mind but because they haven't found success in their life somewhere, they may also believe that they can't succeed at weight loss. Finding at what may be holding them back and showing them encouragement in small successes can really do wonders. I have clients who I've had for more than 7 years still training with me not because they have to, but because I apparently help to bring the positive factor out in them. They still deal with negative things in their daily lives I'm sure.These are my words, I am not stating anyone has directly made this point in this thread - I do not think that someone either has a good attitude or is consigned to a life of self pity and misery. I believe the mind is more complex and that people who are stuck in a rut and struggling are not there simply because of attitude. Even calling out attitude as major obstacle may be over simplifying things for those who have spent decades living the life they live and do not know there is different paths we can all take every day. How do you tell someone with mental health problems linked to obesity they simply need to sort out their attitude and all will be better.
IMO I believe what happens is complacency. Many times when one has a goal, then reaches it it becomes "now what do I do?" There are also people that can do the same thing year in an year out, but one day they injure themselves and can't do what their routine is. Now where they used to burn so many calories a day and can't do it, but still continue to eat the same way OR more, weight gain happens and then self doubt, fear, depression, etc. can set in. Depending if it's recognized and how it's handled, some make adjustments while others go the opposite direction. Part of what I do with former clients is just to sent a quick "how you doing?" note to them occasionally just to see if they've fallen off the wagon and need direction again. I personally believe that we should always have a small goal to strive for. It doesn't ever have to be epic. Just one of improvement in any aspect of one's life they desire.So, it would be fair to say you have witnessed many people with a great attitude towards something that specifically changed their lives for better. These same people held other attitudes towards things at the same time as displaying the great attitude you witnessed. This life change may have built momentum in to other areas of the individuals life and has a positive impact in a wider sense. I can understand that, I lose weight, I run, I have better mental health, I am more active, I improve my overall health, I get fitter, my family love the changes in me..... then one day the wheels fall off, what happened to my attitude over night, did I change as a person, I have lost momentum, I am gaining weight etc, etc. This is a very familiar story on MFP. But at one time all these people (myself included) had a great attitude to weight loss and were willing to make life long changes. What went wrong, what was missing? This is what I am interested in, because if we answer this then we help hundreds or thousands of people understand that the wheels can fall off and they will face tough points in the journey that a good attitude simply won't be enough to get them through.
Thanks. I do believe in spreading knowledge and help around. Knowledge isn't really anything great unless you share it right?If I tell my kids the secret in life is to be happy, and then remind them that the key to getting past every obstacle is to 'be happy' I am not really doing my job as a parent. I am not sure if telling them to have a great attitude towards everything is giving them the right tools to succeed in life, it is one of the tools, but not the only tool. You are educating the people you help, I think this is the important message, that working with the right educator in any field of life has huge benefits and if the individual is focused, driven and wants to make changes then it is the prefect recipe for change.
People are complex. I know that. I've seen many people who are great in the gym, perfect in eating, and have great attitudes while there, but fail with communication with people or have crummy marriages (a lot of my clients are former divorcees getting in shape for dating again). Where one's attitude might be great in one arena, it may not be in another. My whole purpose for this thread is directly related to weight loss/gain/maintenance because that's what we do here. And with all the opining I've done over the years, I've dealt with people with many different attitudes. What I will say here is that the most helpful people on this forum are pretty positive. They look to always helping others although sometimes it may be construed as negative feedback by the person asking (IE: when a person is losing weight eating 800 calories a day and then being told that they aren't eating enough).The psychology industry would come under intense scrutiny if they tried to address every mind and behavior issue through the prism of that individual just needs a good attitude. I'm making this throwaway comparison as an example of how others could interpret a focused view on only attitude.
My hope here is that people that are struggling with weight loss or not hitting goals, don't develop an attitude of defeat and that there's more than one way to skin a cat.
3
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions