Speaking in haiku

frankwbrown

Do you like haiku?

Are you familiar with haiku poetry?
It's a form of Japanese poetry with a very specific form:
1. consists of three lines.
2. the first line has five syllables
3. the second line has seven syllables
4. the last line, again, has five syllables.
5. the topic can be anything.
6. it needn't rhyme.

That's it.

The game here is to write haiku. It needn't be original, but if not original, please credit the composer.
In fact, if you're aware of haiku's that you think are particularly pleasing in some way, please post!

frankwbrown

first draft:
the gentle blossoms
sway on branches in the breeze
the tree is happy.

revision:
gentle blossoms sway
on soft branches in the breeze
the tree is happy.

latest revision:

gentle pink blossoms
sway on branches in the breeze
the tree is happy.

(I decided I liked the original over the first revision, but then added color to bring to mind Japanese Cherry. Still not sure it's better than the original. What do you think?)

frankwbrown

sea turtles smiling
they swim together all day
water is their life

frankwbrown

Here is a slightly pessimistic one inspired by a Grook by Piet Hein (If you're not familiar with Grooks, look them up). 😃
Piet Hein's funny and satirical Grook (not haiku):

The universe may
be as great as they say
but it wouldn't be missed
if it didn't exist.

My morbid haiku variation:

The universe may
be as great as some have said
but not if I'm dead.

😂

frankwbrown

My impromptu haiku that inspired me to start this discussion:

a haiku question:
care for a cup of coffee
on this fine morning?

(I don't imagine this discussion will be one of the hot ones under recent discussions!
But hopefully, I won't be the only poster?) 😂

frankwbrown

the sky is bright blue
filled with white billowy clouds
I have to look up.

futuresylph

Giant coffee cup
Filled to brim day after day
Well worth a haiku.

futuresylph

My favorite Grook is called "Lilac Time:" (I'm not sure about the punctuation; I memorized this delightful poem several decades ago.)

The lilacs are flowering
Sweet and sublime
With a perfume that goes to the head,

And lovers meander
In prose and in rhyme
Trying to say -- for the thousandth time --
What's easier done than said.

frankwbrown

Good haiku...

Piet Hein wrote some wonderful Grooks, didn't he?

I have a few favorites too, including this one that's especially apropos on MFP:

Of drink and victuals and suchlike stuff
A bit too little is just enough.

frankwbrown

I hike each morning
sometimes I think it is hard
but worth the effort

frankwbrown

Sleep like a baby.
That's what I want to do now,
But I'm wide awake.

frankwbrown

my haiku for the day:

Haiku by Piet Hein
So curious a wonder
it would make you smile.

frankwbrown

This coffee tastes good.
Not as good as chocolate,
but really, what is?

Cat0703a

I’m not creative
Especially this early
Now where’s the coffee

Haiku writing hard
My skills have rusted greatly
In past thirty years

frankwbrown

ponder this, won't you?
where do birds go when the wind
ruffles their feathers?

frankwbrown

Do birds like coffee?
I can't imagine they do,
they don't need caffeine.

frankwbrown

Have you tried for yoga?
your body will flex in ways
you can't imagine.

nossmf

A day spent idle:
Wasted opportunity,
Or a chance to breathe?

Some will yell, "Do more!
Tomorrow's not guaranteed!
Waste not the present!"

The reply comes calmly,
"Take time to stop, smell a rose,
Excuse me while I nap."

If either viewpoint
Is taken to the extreme,
Regret may follow.

So heed my advice:
Work hard but also relax!
Balance is the key.

frankwbrown

That is a long one.
It's quite good. Did you write that?
If so, I'm impressed.

nossmf

The work was my own,
I guess I was inspired.
I'm glad it made you smile.

nossmf

"The small, quick brown fox
Jumped over the lazy dog..."
Try typing that fast!

frankwbrown

frankwbrown wrote: »

Have you tried for yoga?
your body will flex in ways
you can't imagine.

where did that come from?
didn't that "for" sneak in there
while my back was turned?

frankwbrown

“Over the Wintry” by Natsume Sōseki

Over the wintry
Forest, winds howl in rage
With no leaves to blow.

Cat0703a

frankwbrown wrote: »

frankwbrown wrote: »

Have you tried for yoga?
your body will flex in ways
you can't imagine.

where did that come from?
didn't that "for" sneak in there
while my back was turned?

Sneaky words emerge
When one least suspects them to
Causing sighs or grins

frankwbrown

full moon shining down,
bare branches catching light,
the night is alive.

frankwbrown

Cat0703a wrote: »

frankwbrown wrote: »

frankwbrown wrote: »

Have you tried for yoga?
your body will flex in ways
you can't imagine.

where did that come from?
didn't that "for" sneak in there
while my back was turned?

Sneaky words emerge
When one least suspects them to
Causing sighs or grins

Nice.

frankwbrown

You know, the 5,7,5 syllable requirement is not that essential. The translations of many haikus from famous Japanese haiku masters break that rule. Of course, when translating, you need to be true to the feeling of the original haiku more than adhering to this rule. Many Westerners were inspired by haikus, and didn't bother following this rule either, preferring instead to write more freeform but with the same simplicity and brevity.

So, I don't see why we can't do the same thing.

Some examples:

---

“The Old Pond” by Matsuo Bashō

An old silent pond
A frog jumps into the pond—
Splash! Silence again.

---

“A World of Dew” by Kobayashi Issa

A world of dew,
And within every dewdrop
A world of struggle.

---

“A Poppy Blooms” by Katsushika Hokusai

I write, erase, rewrite
Erase again, and then
A poppy blooms.

---

“In a Station of the Metro” by Ezra Pound

The apparition
of these faces in the crowd;
Petals on a wet, black bough.

---

“The Taste of Rain” by Jack Kerouac

The taste
Of rain
—Why kneel?

---

Sonia Sanchez “Haiku [for you]”

love between us is
speech and breath. loving you is
a long river running.

---

Cat0703a

But Frank, I need rules. No rogue haiku’s for me. 🤣

frankwbrown

It's often the "rules" for any given art form that inspire creativity. That's true of haiku, and also true of ikebana / kado (Japanese flower arranging), Western poetry, classical music forms like the sonata, etc.

So Cat, won't you please
adhere to the rules, always,
except when you don't. 😂

frankwbrown

I sit for breakfast,
so much rich food beckons me.
I eat a grapefruit.

frankwbrown

Chocolate is King
There is no food that's better
I do love it so.