Negative Husband

sandytoshiko
sandytoshiko Posts: 67 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
When I tell my husband how much more weight I want to lose or my fitness goals he always feels the need to remind me I am not in my 20's anymore. Anyone else deal with a negative nancy?
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Replies

  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,211 Member
    You don't need him to tell you you can or can't - just do it, then rub your slim and toned tushie in his face like you're Miley Cyrus at the VMAs.
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,658 Member
    When I tell my husband how much more weight I want to lose or my fitness goals he always feels the need to remind me I am not in my 20's anymore. Anyone else deal with a negative nancy?

    You may be a different shape from somebody in their teens or early 20s, but that does not mean you cannot be slim.

    Personally, if I were to get negativity everytime I mentioned my goal weight etc, I would stop commenting on it and just do it, just to deliberately prove the person wrong! :laugh:
  • charleyreedto175
    charleyreedto175 Posts: 60 Member
    Well at least it is only negative in words. I would watch out if he started to bake cookies, make special treats or change your Diet. Most men just don't like to see their wife suffer or more to the point see them suffer. We are selfish! What can I say.
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    Don't tell him about it. If you don't mention it he can't comment.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    You don't need him to tell you you can or can't - just do it, then rub your slim and toned tushie in his face like you're Miley Cyrus at the VMAs.

    :laugh:

    Just make sure to tell him you can't stop and you won't stop.

    He sounds like he is trying to let you know he loves you the way you are. So sweet. :flowerforyou: Have your MFP pals or a trainer be pushy with you and let him give you the unconditional love. Best of both worlds.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    Men tend to be cautious when it comes to discussing the weight of the woman they love. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if he were to tell you that you could stand to lose 20 lbs either.

    You don't have to be in your 20s to lose weight. Just do it and prove it to him.
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
    Do it and prove him wrong! :)
  • AbstractAsterism
    AbstractAsterism Posts: 153 Member
    My husband can be pretty much the same. I'm totally agreeing with the above who say just do it! Do it for you. I'm going to do it for me, then make a shirt that says "I told you so!" just to wear around the house.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    I have a negative nancy in my home, he acts like me working out three days a week is obsessive, says I'm working out all the time..........3 days a week for an hour..........come on. I have to laugh and say no it's recommended, and obsessive is a word lazy people use for dedicated. I also tell him if he wants a 300lb wife he should keep pushing me about it and I'll just let myself go.
  • KissMeImShtFaced
    KissMeImShtFaced Posts: 85
    When I tell my husband how much more weight I want to lose or my fitness goals he always feels the need to remind me I am not in my 20's anymore. Anyone else deal with a negative nancy?

    How often do you tell him about your goals is my question? If it's every once in awhile or when he asks then maybe he's being a little negative. If you're constantly telling him randomly maybe you're coming off as obsessed or overly needy like someone who requires too much validation.
  • holagatita
    holagatita Posts: 1,785 Member
    Ive lost 50lbs since having a baby in April and my husband has yet to tell me I'm looking better but he will comment on girls FB pics and tell them they are hot =/. I think i'm losing the battle =(
  • Vmax1992
    Vmax1992 Posts: 41 Member
    Should he do better with diet? If so, maybe a little nervous that you will look too good. Hang in there, stay true to yourself.
    My wife is passive agressive about my weight loss. She supports me, but will serve dinner of pasta...and more of it then I would ever eat. Then cooks great, then does something hight is salt. (I am fighting high BP and winning). I don't get home from work till 7:30 or so, otherwise I would cook for myslelf. I think there are issues as she did gastric bypass in the spring. I went to meetings, took a week of work, did everything a supportive hubby should do and still do. She is 95% great, but that 5% drives me nuts....and it's a short drive.
  • TayzerFun
    TayzerFun Posts: 45 Member
    You can be healthy, strong, and fit at any age! Just go on with your awesome self! He'll see you improved mood, your strength ect. You can even be a good influence on him! :) It's more about being healthy.... but if you get a rockin' body in the process, all the better! :)
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    So, does he think that getting older = getting fat, and there's nothing you can do about it? How depressing.

    Just keep quiet, do it and prove him wrong.
  • TheBitSlinger
    TheBitSlinger Posts: 621 Member
    I tend to tell what's going on with me and what want to do only to people that I know will be supportive. Otherwise, I'd have to start body slamming others and don't want to go there. ;-)

    For all the rest, I just let me progress bubble up to my Facebook page.
  • witchlight
    witchlight Posts: 11
    You don't need him to tell you you can or can't - just do it, then rub your slim and toned tushie in his face like you're Miley Cyrus at the VMAs.

    This!!!!!!
  • lsorci919
    lsorci919 Posts: 772 Member
    My husband doesn't try to sabotage my goals but he sure doesn't help either! He's a fat snack junkie too and that makes it harder for me to stay healthy. The best thing I can say is to just do it and prove him wrong! My husband hasn't been the most supportive so I've decided when I reach my goal I'm gonna rub it in! lol Also sites like this and sparkpeople help when you don't have the support you need at home.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I'm going to play devil's advocate here and assume his comments are coming with the best of intentions. Most men are extremely open and honest and don't worry about cushioning their comments with subtleties like most of us women do. It's just a difference in how we're socialized. Technically he's right, you're not in your 20's anymore which means you may not be able to get to where you were before. BUT that doesn't mean you can't try your hardest to be as healthy and fit as you can be in the body you have now. In my opinion, he's just trying to make sure your goals are realistic and he may even be worried that you'll try extreme dieting and exercise to reach your goals.
  • lsorci919
    lsorci919 Posts: 772 Member
    My husband can be pretty much the same. I'm totally agreeing with the above who say just do it! Do it for you. I'm going to do it for me, then make a shirt that says "I told you so!" just to wear around the house.

    Love the idea of the "I told you so" shirt!!
  • mandasalem
    mandasalem Posts: 346 Member
    Yesterday, I told my mom how excited I was to fit into a particular size of jeans. She then asked if I was "trying to be anorexic" and went on a rant.

    ... yeah. The Indian buffet, several slices of pizza, boneless wings and kettle corn I had the day prior to that conversation sure were making me anorexic.

    I should say, though, that my husband has been awesome, and very patient with my repeated babbling about my goals and my calorie count.
  • Mslmesq
    Mslmesq Posts: 1,000 Member
    Meh, 30's are the new 20's. Hell, Jennifer Anniston looks better in her 40's than she did in her 20's.

    Ignore him and carry on. :smile:
  • cmurphy252
    cmurphy252 Posts: 279 Member
    Ive lost 50lbs since having a baby in April and my husband has yet to tell me I'm looking better but he will comment on girls FB pics and tell them they are hot =/. I think i'm losing the battle =(

    WOW! Thats sad . . . . and disrespectful :frown: .
  • paine016
    paine016 Posts: 77 Member
    Ive lost 50lbs since having a baby in April and my husband has yet to tell me I'm looking better but he will comment on girls FB pics and tell them they are hot =/. I think i'm losing the battle =(

    He sounds like a ****.
  • crazybookworm
    crazybookworm Posts: 779 Member
    Could it possible be an insecurity issue? If he thinks you lose weight, that you won't want to be with him anymore? Sounds crazy, I know, but it does happen.

    Perhaps it is a jealousy issue as well. Thankfully, I have a beyond supportive partner, but during my weight loss journey, he was not the main focus of my attention anymore. I, myself was my main focus. He was perfectly supportive and happy about that, but perhaps your husband doesn't want to share you with...well, you. Just a thought!

    My advice, is just do it. Leave out the comments, and just work on getting healthier. :smile:
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Maybe he's just cheating on you. Or jealous. Or trying to sabotauge you.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I don't think he's saying it to be negative... maybe he's worried you're trying to achieve something that's not possible and doesn't want you to feel bad if you don't get there.... maybe you need to reassure him that your goals are appropriate and healthy and that you're not torturing yourself or aiming for anything unreasonable, and that you can achieve them.

    I also think that most behaviour that people percieve as negative isn't intended that way. Maybe some people have a funny way of showing it, but in most cases people mean well and have others' best interests at heart... they just don't always know what really is in the best interests of the other person.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    When I tell my husband how much more weight I want to lose or my fitness goals he always feels the need to remind me I am not in my 20's anymore. Anyone else deal with a negative nancy?

    Is he maybe just trying to keep you realistic with your goals and reassure you that you're fine no matter of you meet those goals of not?
  • thequiltmama
    thequiltmama Posts: 20
    I hope yours is only trying to be nice like mine. Mine says that so I don't feel bad about my size. But I also think they worry sometimes that if we look better we won't want them. Not the case but no one really understands what goes through their minds. Men are confusing sometimes. Best of luck and I think you should just remind yourself it is because he loves you. :)
  • katbirdinpa
    katbirdinpa Posts: 105
    change is hard for some people and they don't like it much. He may be feeling insecure about your loveliness :flowerforyou:
  • kelliward1
    kelliward1 Posts: 97 Member
    Maybe he is just worried that once you lose the weight you will be getting a bunch of attention from other guys and such...just a thought.

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