Is it easier to stay on your goal mission with friends help?

garyg715

LiveOnceBeHappy

No

I only count on myself for motivation. It's either in me or not. I do rely heavily on this forum to stay engaged in the process. None of you would notice if I dropped off the earth though! I occasionally update my husband on my weight, but I also don't look to him for help. I'm in this for me, by me, all me.

88AViva

Sometimes

I'm also on this only for tracking my calories and for the community challenges and questions I might have that are already answered in the forums. It's nice to see others progress. But Can't rely on other people to stay motivated. Some days you aren't going to be motivated at all, only consistency and making something a habit will help. No amount of others cheering you on can make you do anything if you can't be bothered to change things and work on yourself.
I do like seeing people support each other through the journey though, makes it seem easier and more fun.

Xellercin

No

Nope. I do my own thing.

I rarely benefit from others for motivation, since it's so common for people to give up on health habits, so usually everyone around me just falls off over time and starts making a lot of excuses, which I find demotivating.

I quit alcohol along with a pile of other people because I quit Jan 1st, and it was depressing seeing everyone, one by one, not follow through. I was the only one who even made it to the end of the month.

I like doing things with people though, I just don't ever attach my motivation to them.

But that's me, I've always been a self-motivated person with great follow-through. Whereas some people get stuck in inertia and having a buddy is the key to their success.

Different people benefit from different things.

azuki84

No

it depends on the person. I'm self-motivated and competitive in general, so I don't need to rely on someone else to help me on fitness.

COGypsy

No

I voted No. Why would my friends care what I eat or whether I worked out or not? I manage my health just fine without a committee.

LiveOnceBeHappy

No

COGypsy wrote: »

I voted No. Why would my friends care what I eat or whether I worked out or not? I manage my health just fine without a committee.

Exactly. I don't want anyone to question my choices! They're my choices. I don't choose for anyone else! Of course, saying that I gave my 21 year old son a hard time yesterday because at 8:00 at night he had yet to eat a single fruit or vegetable all day! But he's my kid!

sijomial

No

The main reason I stayed overweight for 20 years was due to not taking PERSONAL responsibility for how much food I ate.
Yes I find it somewhat helpful to be involved with people who take care of their health and fitness but motivation and discipline is down to me alone.

cwolfman13

No

It probably depends on the person. IRL I have quite a few friends who are into health and fitness and I find it beneficial to be around like minded people...not so much a motivational thing as it is having people around who you can go on hikes with or group ride with and have a comradery with. It can also be beneficial when I'm training if I have others around me that are also training for an event because we can push each other when we're not feeling it. Having a running buddy or cycling buddy text me and hit me up for a time to go ride or run can help me get off my butt if I'm not really feeling it.

As far as the internet goes, I'm just not all that vested in random internet strangers and having a cheerleader on the other side of a screen doesn't really do anything for me. I have a pretty large friends list, but I very rarely interact on my homepage.

cupcakesandproteinshakes

I like being round people that aren’t food or booze pushers. But other than that it’s all down to me how I live my life.

AnnPT77

For me? Not exactly. (I didn't vote; I mostly don't like these polls - not nuanced.)

For weight management or fitness (or both) I think it's helpful to have a social context where those are group norms. Most humans are influenced by reference-group norms.

If someone has that social context in real life, that's IMO ideal. If someone doesn't have that IRL, or it's limited, I think something like MFP friendships or participation in the MFP Community can be a slightly-less-effective alternative**. So can relevant groups on other social media, subscribing to relevant e-newsletters, following (sane) diet/fitness experts, joining clubs/groups/gyms with that focus, and that sort of thing.

Personally, while I've found the MFP friend-feed stuff fun at times, I'm more of a Community forum gal, and a sub-par MFP friend. Like others posting on this thread, I think motivation is a solo sport, but I can use groups, threads, challenges, etc., here as part of keeping my head in the game.

At root, it's still about how I foster self-accountability, not about other people holding me accountable or motivating me. That's not their job, it's mine. Personal responsibility is the bedrock. Asking others to make me accountable or motivated, for me, would be disempowering, a shift of my agency on to others so that I might psychologically have someplace else to attribute a lack of success. In reality, my success or lack thereof is entirely about my choices, not others' actions.


** Why less effective? Marshall McLuhan, hot vs. cold media, etc., loosely.

Hiawassee88

Is it easier to stay on your goal mission with friends help? @garyg715

Yes.

I take what I need from a bunch of different sources, including from some members here. If I didn't, there would be no point in reading the curious questions with their insightful reflections.

When we work towards any goal alone, we often end up sticking to insight based awareness. Which, by definition isn't wrong, it's just not the whole picture. No one has all of the answers.

An empathetic witness or friend, a health or fitness pro can hold space while you gain clarity and insight for reaching your goal.

DiscoveringLisa

Sometimes

Everything that is difficult is goig to be easier with support. Saying that, you cant always depend on getting the support you need so you have to develop self motivation and perseverance and that comes from within, only you can give you that.

SuzySunshine99

No

I'm not sure if you mean MFP/social media "friends" or real-life friends, but in my case, no to both.

I'm a private person who doesn't like a lot of attention. When I decided to lose weight, I did it on my own. I didn't want or need outside opinions and I absolutely HATE when people try to be cheerleaders for you. Even if they are sincere, it always comes off as fake to me. Just leave me alone and let me do this how I want to do it.

That's just my personality...everyone is different.

nxd10

Sometimes

My husband is generous and loves to cook. He makes great meals that are easy for me to hit my goals with. But then at 9 or 10 he'll wander by and hand me a plate of batter fried shrimp (he is having some too and also hands them to my son - it's not a sabotage move). But it's hard for me to say 'thanks, but no'. So, of course, I eat them. Having him on board would make it easier. We did well when we were both doing Whole30.

rosebarnalice

I don't put anyone else in the position of being my food cop: the responsibility for my food choices rests entirely on me.

That said, I appreciate my friends who are aware and supportive of my lifestyle--whether actively or passively. Two recent birthday party examples:

• Party 1- Passive: friend cuts cake, and when I decline just moves to the next person without forcing, asking, shaming or otherwise commenting on my choice.
• Party 2- Active: friend has a cake and a whole peeled watermelon, and asks guests if they want one or both--knowing full well that I will be sticking to the watermelon.

mtaratoot

rosebarnalice wrote: »

I don't put anyone else in the position of being my food cop: the responsibility for my food choices rests entirely on me.

That said, I appreciate my friends who are aware and supportive of my lifestyle--whether actively or passively. Two recent birthday party examples:

• Party 1- Passive: friend cuts cake, and when I decline just moves to the next person without forcing, asking, shaming or otherwise commenting on my choice.
  
• Party 2- Active: friend has a cake and a whole peeled watermelon, and asks guests if they want one or both--knowing full well that I will be sticking to the watermelon.

That's also active I think. It is actively accepting your easy decision. Sadly, this is kind of rare. Just the other day I was enjoying a pint and chatting with a fellow. He offered me some peanuts. I declined. I do like them, but didn't want to get started. He said, "Aw come on, just one." Yep. Starts with just one.

I think he also walked out on his tab....