Emotional eating - alternative ways to lift mood?

TicTacToo

After a recent breakup I now find myself snacking in the evenings when a month ago I would have been chatting with my then-partner. I snack partly to fill the time but mostly because it lifts my mood, and these evening snacks (mostly chocolate or biscuits) are derailing otherwise positive progress with healthy food and exercise through the day. Any suggestions on other options?

Dreamroper

I am trying to cut out eating after dinner snacks and sweets, which had led to a weight gain over the last year. I have found that red seedless grapes and cubed watermelon help with the need for sweetness.

kenziestabes

It's gonna be different for everyone. I'm a walker. Stressed out? I take a lap. If it's a complex issue, I call my mom and talk my way through it. Feeling snacky out of boredom? Flavored water or tea. Sometimes a giant stuffed animal to squeeze works too.

kshama2001

I always join a gym after a breakup. Exercise lifts my mood.

Anyone remember the old Elayne Boosler "New guys will see me naked" skit?

COGypsy

I think the insight that you’re replacing conversation with your ex with eating is a really good start. I personally find it easier to replace what I don’t want with something that I do want. What could you do in the evenings instead? Read a book? Do a yoga video? Get some chores done so you have more free time on the weekend? Work on a craft or hobby? Thinking ahead to have a few options to deliberately decide to go to when you get snacky can help change that behavior.

AnnPT77

If there's a stress component to it, some other options would be meditation, prayer, journaling, or other stress-management techniques. Otherwise, distractions/hobbies. Particularly good are things that require clean hands (needlework, sketching, adult coloring books, playing a musical instrument, etc.) or create dirty ones (gardening, painting, carpentry, etc.): Makes it harder to snack.

If it's a social interaction need, consider joining a club, getting together with other friends, taking on some volunteer gig, or something like that.

IAmTheGlue

Yoga. Yoga is for everyone. It makes you feel better both physically and mentally.

I also like to run away from my problems… I just put my AirPods on, go on my treadmill and get moving…

Break ups are tough. If you are missing human interaction, find a replacement. Come here and find people to talk to. Join a gym. Take a class… cooking, ceramics, gardening, aerobics, whatever you like. Volunteer at the animal shelter and take a dog for a walk. Volunteer at a nursing home. Find something you enjoy and do those activities so you can meet other people who have similar interests.

sollyn23l2

After my last breakup, I got into cooking and exercise. Reading didn't work for me because I just couldn't focus enough. Also, dating new guys. Nothing serious. Oddly enough, once I started dating other guys, he showed back up. But, really aft er r a breakup is a great time to focus on you, your goals, what you want, and start to work on them. It gives you something else to focus your time and energy on.

pootlermse

Good advice here, but chipping in with an alternative strategy, coz it's good to have a range of tools in your healthy eating kit.

I am/was(?) a comfort eater, and I used to struggle with eating at night too. I was never really able to distract myself from it with other fun things, unless I was already deeply engrossed in the alternative thing before I got the munchies.

Age-old dieting tricks like sucking on frozen grapes as a 'fun' alternative to M&Ms was also absolutely not going to work for me. If I tried to fool my brain by eating fruit instead of sweets, I'd just eat all the fruit and then still end up face first in the biscuit tin.

It took me an embarrassingly long time to work out that how much and when I was eating during the day had a huge influence on how big the urge to eat in the evenings was. If I wasn't eating enough, I got the munchies. If I wasn't getting sufficient protein and fat, I got the munchies. If dinner was my largest meal of the day, I got the munchies. If dinner was my smallest meal of the day, I got the munchies.

I am/(was?) a black and white, all or nothing sort of person, and I realised, eventually, that trying to eat perfectly really only led to eating more junk ultimately.

What helped me stop was learning to eat the comfort foods through the day and trying to really focus on enjoying them rather than guiltily inhaling them.

I'd always tried to eat three square meals a day because we're told that's what we ought to do. But having four smaller meals and a couple of snacks (usually high in protein) was better for me. I have a second breakfast most days, like a Hobbit.😀 I feel satisfied all the time, now, and rarely desperately look for sugar in the evenings.

However, the advice to find an alternative activity that you enjoy is solid. Now that the evenings are warmer and lighter, taking a walk at golden hour while listening to music helps. I keep a playlist of songs with a BPM that matches my walking pace, and for some reason that really makes a difference. There are lots of scientific studies proving that walking has a positive effect on mood, so it's worth a try.

Sometimes, I find it hard to focus on an alternative activity. My mind just keeps coming back to food. Sometimes chocolate really is the only cure. If thia is the case, and I'm really in the doldrums, I tell myself I can absolutely have that chocolate bar in just ten minutes if I still want it, so how about a walk around the block (or another fun activity) while the timer counts down? Yes, I do set a timer! Because the bit of my brain that deals with food is a toddler. Often, the urge to eat has gone afterwards. And if it hasn't, I keep my promise. This tells my toddler brain that chocolate and crisps and biscuits and ice cream are always available if I want them, so I don't need to wolf them all down at once.

I used to comfort eat in the evenings most nights, but my evening snack attacks/binges are down to a handful a year now. And honestly, with my weird history with food, if I can do that, almost anyone can. Stay hopeful!

TicTacToo

Thank you all for the kind and gentle words as well as the diversity of suggestions :-)

I'm limited to home-based activities during the evening while my kids are young but can certainly take up extra hobbies and visit the gym during the day. And to take a twist on some of @pootlermse's suggestions, perhaps feeding my soul better with a few happy, social activities during daylight will give me a boost and leave me less inclined to eat my sad feelings away later on.

pootlermse

TicTacToo wrote: »

...perhaps feeding my soul better with a few happy, social activities during daylight will give me a boost and leave me less inclined to eat my sad feelings away later on.

This is brilliant. Love it!

Jacq_qui

I find that if I sit in front of the tv then I snack. I think it's just the old me and how I'd always been. So I just don't do that any more! Also, I try to eat any chocolate snacks in the day so I don't feel I've missed out and then want to eat in the evening. I won't starve myself, but if I'm hungry there are other things I can eat, because chocolate won't even touch the sides if I'm hungry so it's a bad time to eat it (and enjoy it).

Chewing gum is good for when I'm wanting stuff out of boredom.

You can do yoga at home via youtube, places like Yoga with Adrienne are a fab place to start. (And you can pause if you have to deal with little ones).

Not for everyone but meditation and mindfulness can really help. It allows a space for those uncomfortable feelings to surface and be acknowledged.

kshama2001

IAmTheGlue wrote: »

Yoga. Yoga is for everyone. It makes you feel better both physically and mentally.

I also like to run away from my problems… I just put my AirPods on, go on my treadmill and get moving…

Break ups are tough. If you are missing human interaction, find a replacement. Come here and find people to talk to. Join a gym. Take a class… cooking, ceramics, gardening, aerobics, whatever you like. Volunteer at the animal shelter and take a dog for a walk. Volunteer at a nursing home. Find something you enjoy and do those activities so you can meet other people who have similar interests.

Speaking of volunteering, I volunteer at my local senior center. I think we have 15 paid staff and over 300 volunteers.

age_is_just_a_number

Find something else to do with you pr hands. Something that is messy that doesn’t go well with food. Ideas:
Brushing your dog/cat
Cleaning
Do a puzzle
Take up knitting
Start an indoor herb garden

If you still find yourself wanting something, try drinking water.

Still want something, then make a healthy choice, raw veggies, fruit, cheese.

Best of luck