I keep failing at losing weight

cmacphee3

Set your goal to lose slower... give yourself more wiggle room. Set your goal for 1/2 a pound loss weekly, choose a reasonable activity level (i.e. not sedentary unless you're mobility-challenged) and log your food. You won't feel restricted, you'll just feel in control.

In 6 months you'll be down 13-15 lbs and in a year you'll be laughing... and you won't have even noticed you were doing it.

I think the reason this is hard to do is that if I did 1/2lb a week, it will take me over 3 years to get where I want. That is a long time to look ahead to, even if it is healthiest.

...but keep in mind, this isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. You're in this for the rest of your life, there's no need to rush progress if it isn't going to involve a sustainable change.

I definitely get that, but it is still very difficult to say "In a year I'll still be obese even though I'll have been working hard for a whole year. In two years I'll still be overweight, even though I worked very hard for two whole years".. I didn't gain my weight slowly, I can gain 10lbs in a week no problem, so it isn't like I put it on slowly, it is hard to tell myself to take it off that slowly.

I lost weight twice before, and I have to say the second time, which I did slowly over two years was much much easier to sustain, though I never got out of the "overweight" category, I did maintain my loss for two years, before I fell back into overeating to soothe strong negative emotions.

maillemaker

I end up getting myself into a program and working so hard losing about 20 pounds each time then I fall of the wagon, usually because I get busy with work, college and friends (but thats no excuse) this has been going on just over a year now

I need some friendly, helpful, motivating people from the MFP community so please add me and give me any tips and guidance you can

Basically, dieting is an exercise in willpower. You have to stay focused so that you can summon the willpower to deny yourself the pleasure of food and to stay the course through feeling hungry.

There are some people who claim they are never hungry when on a calorie deficit but for me, I think about food all the time. I've been doing this consistently since 4/19/13 and while it gets much easier after the first 6 weeks, I still am hungry all the time. In fact, I've come to accept that the way I know I'm succeeding at a deficit is when I'm hungry. If I'm not hungry, I'm probably not tracking calories accurately.

For me, staying focused is a big part of staying motivated. So I weigh myself every day and I log my food every day. This forces you to pay attention to your weight and your caloric intake. The scale is exciting and motivating to me as I wake up every morning looking forward to a new low.

Get an active friend list here on MFP. One of my biggest motivations is knowing that people are watching me. "Attaboys" are hugely powerful and inspirational.

Sync up your MFP with your Facebook so your weight loss and under-calorie updates are posted to Facebook. Again, your friends will "like" it and this positive feedback lets you know that people are watching you.

If you find yourself falling off the wagon because of succumbing to temptations to eat certain kinds of foods, consider altering your diet to something more boring. You need to disassociate eating with pleasure. It doesn't mean you can't eat for pleasure from time to time, but if your lifelong focus on food has been satiety, that's probably going to have to change.

BohemianCoast

I'd just add one tiny, tiny thing to Trog's awesome advice, which is that if you've got lots to lose, then for almost everyone, there'll come a point where you slip up and screw up, stop logging, let up on the exercise, and start gaining a bit. You sort of need to have a plan for how you are going to get right back on track when that happens. Especially if you have a history of 'falling off the wagon'. For most of us, this is not a linear journey. Gaining a few pounds somewhere along the way doesn't matter. Stopping completely does. Maybe have some close friends primed to give you a kicking?

toni_mmh

Make the "wagon" easier to stay on.

THIS IS IT! Make the 'wagon" easier to stay on. A lifestyle change takes time to take root. Deeply cutting cals is not a lifestyle change.
Scooby's workshop website looks like it's for gym-focused folks but don't let it scare you. The calculators and basic nutrition info is great. It explains TDEE. This is so important to understand and makes the wagon easier to stay on.
MFP is NOT A DIET. It's a way to accept responsibility for the WAY you eat that lasts a lifetime.
Personally, I am not focusing on the scale anymore. I take measurements and record them in MFP so I can see the change... these reflect your efforts consistently whereas the scale can fluctuate for reasons we can't see. I have set Non-scale small to medium goals that I can reach daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly so I can enjoy my new lifestyle and take pride that I am living a healthier, happier life.

michellekicks

Set your goal to lose slower... give yourself more wiggle room. Set your goal for 1/2 a pound loss weekly, choose a reasonable activity level (i.e. not sedentary unless you're mobility-challenged) and log your food. You won't feel restricted, you'll just feel in control.

In 6 months you'll be down 13-15 lbs and in a year you'll be laughing... and you won't have even noticed you were doing it.

I think the reason this is hard to do is that if I did 1/2lb a week, it will take me over 3 years to get where I want. That is a long time to look ahead to, even if it is healthiest.

...but keep in mind, this isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. You're in this for the rest of your life, there's no need to rush progress if it isn't going to involve a sustainable change.

I definitely get that, but it is still very difficult to say "In a year I'll still be obese even though I'll have been working hard for a whole year. In two years I'll still be overweight, even though I worked very hard for two whole years".. I didn't gain my weight slowly, I can gain 10lbs in a week no problem, so it isn't like I put it on slowly, it is hard to tell myself to take it off that slowly.

I lost weight twice before, and I have to say the second time, which I did slowly over two years was much much easier to sustain, though I never got out of the "overweight" category, I did maintain my loss for two years, before I fell back into overeating to soothe strong negative emotions.

Nope. You won't have worked hard if you do it this way. It's easy to maintain a 250 calorie daily deficit. All you have to do is track food. You will BARELY feel like you're doing anything at all.

Once you get a handle on it and feel comfy - maybe after 2-3 months, bump up your deficit to 500 calories daily and try for 1 lb/week. You don't need to jump into the deep end right at the start.

JTutz

The biggest thing I found helpful when I was really focused on losing weight was simple: Plan for failure.

It's easy to plan to be successful, but the real test is when you, as you said, fall off the wagon. Create some strategies for yourself so when you start to feel yourself slip, you continue on. Set yourself reminders of why you're doing this. Make the commitment to yourself to reach your goals.

Wise words.Take this advice. I'm going to take it myself.

Zuzanna100

Same here, I've been trying for 4 years. I lose about 70 pounds a year. Not all at once. Usually 15 or 20 at a time, it's the same pounds being gained or lost and I've tried every mental way to look at things. In order to stay positive, I'll state the I have accomplished NOT GAINING overall any more weight than my highest 4 years ago. Believe me, that IS an accomplishment because if I hadn't have been trying I would most likely need to lose another 100 pounds on top of the 100 I have to lose now. So, never giving up does mean a lot. Eventually, I do it. I hope it's this time.

One thing I DO know and that is not everything works for everybody. Exercise is a smaller priority in my diet because of joint issues but I do some easy ones every day for about 15 minutes (oh, and I know if you don't do at least 20 you're not into fat burning so if you want to burn fat you need to do at least 30)---yeah, I've known this for 30 years and it helped me NOT work out at all! I feel SO much better doing that 15 minutes a day, most days that I look forward to it! When i lose weight maybe I can do more without as much joint problems. Basically, take what you can take from people and blow the others off. They may not realize why you're not heading their advice but YOU know YOU better than anyone!

I've written this for myself, too because as someone who has medical issues, it's easy to "get run off" by 20 something macho males telling you all about their runs, etc....and that you should emulate them. Sure, their are so many people those types WILL help and I hope they do, but again, we're all different. Don't give up and don't get discouraged by a personality type that is not conducive to your goals.