First impressions
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Okay, that was creepy :laugh:5
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😂 well if I was, you wouldn't0 -
CoffeeNstilettos wrote: »
😂 well if I was, you wouldn't
Hey man, I'm only passing along what I was told. I'm not vouching for the truth of the thing, and I certainly don't try to intimidate in any case. I thought maybe I came across as a sweet grandpa aged person, and instead I'm scariest dad.1 -
CoffeeNstilettos wrote: »
😂 well if I was, you wouldn't
Hey man, I'm only passing along what I was told. I'm not vouching for the truth of the thing, and I certainly don't try to intimidate in any case. I thought maybe I came across as a sweet grandpa aged person, and instead I'm scariest dad.
😂 I was just teasing you, I'm sure once they get to know you they don't think that. Unless you're a grumpy dad all the time. 😏0 -
I meanCoffeeNstilettos wrote: »CoffeeNstilettos wrote: »
😂 well if I was, you wouldn't
Hey man, I'm only passing along what I was told. I'm not vouching for the truth of the thing, and I certainly don't try to intimidate in any case. I thought maybe I came across as a sweet grandpa aged person, and instead I'm scariest dad.
😂 I was just teasing you, I'm sure once they get to know you they don't think that. Unless you're a grumpy dad all the time. 😏
I kind of like being intimidated
But I only grew into that as an adult
And you’re right
He’s not intimidating
❤️
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TwitchyMagee wrote: »
I meanCoffeeNstilettos wrote: »CoffeeNstilettos wrote: »
😂 well if I was, you wouldn't
Hey man, I'm only passing along what I was told. I'm not vouching for the truth of the thing, and I certainly don't try to intimidate in any case. I thought maybe I came across as a sweet grandpa aged person, and instead I'm scariest dad.
😂 I was just teasing you, I'm sure once they get to know you they don't think that. Unless you're a grumpy dad all the time. 😏
I kind of like being intimidated
But I only grew into that as an adult
And you’re right
He’s not intimidating
❤️
You're just trying to elicit my trump complex, it's not gonna work. Also, my hands are huge, the biggest, everyone knows this.2 -
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I have no idea. But I think it’s amazing that people know what others’ first impressions are of them. Interesting that you’ve been told.
I've had people who I'm now friends with tell me they were so scared of me at first. I laugh saying wtf and they laugh saying we'll now I know you're not scary. Haha. I will talk to anyone but I think I have an air of confidence always about me simply partly because I have good posture haha. I blame that on skating1 -
Me too. Mostly I hear how surprised people are that I'm "so nice". I can extrapolate first impression from that.
One good friend long ago did say her first impression of me was that I was "aloof". I think that's probably a polite euphemism for snobby B.
RBF strikes again. Although I am quite shy and not very talkative until I know someone.1 -
people usually first notice my disregard for the natural laws of the universe as they understand them, then they pick up on my grotesque mockery of reality beyond comprehension whose disturbing otherness cannot be encompassed in any mortal tongue2
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ermengarde22 wrote: »people usually first notice my disregard for the natural laws of the universe as they understand them, then they pick up on my grotesque mockery of reality beyond comprehension whose disturbing otherness cannot be encompassed in any mortal tongue
So you did NOT get the cheezits. I knew you were a bad *kitten*2 -
I know that was my first thought but once I got to know youermengarde22 wrote: »people usually first notice my disregard for the natural laws of the universe as they understand them, then they pick up on my grotesque mockery of reality beyond comprehension whose disturbing otherness cannot be encompassed in any mortal tongue
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ermengarde22 wrote: »people usually first notice my disregard for the natural laws of the universe as they understand them, then they pick up on my grotesque mockery of reality beyond comprehension whose disturbing otherness cannot be encompassed in any mortal tongue
Kinky1 -
First impressions....ugh..unfortunately they do matter...as I'm aware of that..I do tent act. I guess I come across as positive, ambitious and with childlike curiosity of things. Sometimes I might overdo that, a lot of people actually think I'm gay..which I doesn't bother me and I just find that peculiar. Machismo is not strong with me.0
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I get *kitten* alllllllll the time. 💁🏻♀️ Perhaps
Idk if someone the other day was just trying to build me up or something but she told me I have a powerful aura that intimidates some people.
🤔 ya but stuck up is a common misconception.0 -
I find it curious that almost everybody here is intimidating as a first impression. As an adult i have yet to meet such a person. I meet some that are confident and intelligent, even physically strong....i can respect this, but intimidated, nah. I think of myself as a possibly intimidating person at first impression, but i dont have enough interaction with people to actually know if this is the case.4
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Conservative, quiet, and serious. But I’m really quite the opposite once I’m comfortable with you.3
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I find it curious that almost everybody here is intimidating as a first impression. As an adult i have yet to meet such a person. I meet some that are confident and intelligent, even physically strong....i can respect this, but intimidated, nah. I think of myself as a possibly intimidating person at first impression, but i dont have enough interaction with people to actually know if this is the case.
No, I would say not from my perspective anyway. I have no doubt some are intimidated but that wasn’t my first impression.
Maybe more this.
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I find it curious that almost everybody here is intimidating as a first impression. As an adult i have yet to meet such a person. I meet some that are confident and intelligent, even physically strong....i can respect this, but intimidated, nah. I think of myself as a possibly intimidating person at first impression, but i dont have enough interaction with people to actually know if this is the case.
You say you respect confidence, intelligence and strong physicality. These are the traits many would find intimidating. As MelG defined intimidating as a loss of courage or self confidence this is exactly what many people will feel when they meet someone they deem superior. Someone may meet someone with physical dominance and feel fearful. Someone might hold another in high esteem because perhaps they feel they are of superior intelligence and then feel less confident about theirs....basically proving the very definition we have above.
It's simply our need as humans for a pecking order. Perhaps you don't feel these yourself because you have self confidence. I was brought up by parents being told I'm pretty awesome and I've had lots of cool opportunities in life so I know my self worth. Typically those who have told me I am intimidating at first feel this way because they have decided I'm superior in some skill so therefore I must be superior to them when in reality I'm just a normal person who happens to be good at a few things. Also I find intimidation is often a reaction to someone simply being aloof.1 -
Maybe what some people perceive as intimidation is really just a mismatch in personalities. Not everyone is going to Love each other4
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First impressions I think are that I am shy and/or mean. I get "intimidating" a lot. Like a LOT. Some stronger personalities seem to just not even recognize that I exist though - so it's a strange vibe I give off apparently.
INTJ female who does what I do for fun/passion.
Over time I think I've gotten pretty good at managing other people - respect vs firmness, fairly adaptable to the different personalities and understanding of the differences which I think helps.
But I'm very introverted by nature, and tend to be the one who hears all 3 conversations going on around me without significantly contributing to any of them, and frequently feeling like I'm talked over in social situations (weirdly enough I do not feel that way in work situations - so I clearly must present myself differently in some situations vs others).
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TwitchyMagee wrote: »Maybe what some people perceive as intimidation is really just a mismatch in personalities. Not everyone is going to Love each other
i think most people just aren’t comfortable with each other when they meet new people so they are reserved and then sometimes people read that as being cold
and also other people sometimes feel intimidated bc they just don’t have a lot of confidence in themselves and it has *kitten* to do with who’s standing in front of them
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I would like to insightful this in a non-ironic way because it is. But I hugged you insteadermengarde22 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »Maybe what some people perceive as intimidation is really just a mismatch in personalities. Not everyone is going to Love each other
i think most people just aren’t comfortable with each other when they meet new people so they are reserved and then sometimes people read that as being cold
and also other people sometimes feel intimidated bc they just don’t have a lot of confidence in themselves and it has *kitten* to do with who’s standing in front of them
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Alinouveau2 wrote: »I find it curious that almost everybody here is intimidating as a first impression. As an adult i have yet to meet such a person. I meet some that are confident and intelligent, even physically strong....i can respect this, but intimidated, nah. I think of myself as a possibly intimidating person at first impression, but i dont have enough interaction with people to actually know if this is the case.
You say you respect confidence, intelligence and strong physicality. These are the traits many would find intimidating. As MelG defined intimidating as a loss of courage or self confidence this is exactly what many people will feel when they meet someone they deem superior. Someone may meet someone with physical dominance and feel fearful. Someone might hold another in high esteem because perhaps they feel they are of superior intelligence and then feel less confident about theirs....basically proving the very definition we have above.
It's simply our need as humans for a pecking order. Perhaps you don't feel these yourself because you have self confidence. I was brought up by parents being told I'm pretty awesome and I've had lots of cool opportunities in life so I know my self worth. Typically those who have told me I am intimidating at first feel this way because they have decided I'm superior in some skill so therefore I must be superior to them when in reality I'm just a normal person who happens to be good at a few things. Also I find intimidation is often a reaction to someone simply being aloof.
I dont disagree with what you say here. I understand what intimidation is. I think my confidence allows me to appreciate those that have strong attributes more than be intimidated by them. My point is, i think lack of confidence can make someone feel intimidated....but i also feel the need to think ones self to be intimidating is also a sign of lack of confidence. I assure you i am not speaking about you or anyone here specifically. I just find it curious that the majority of people think of there first impression as being intimidating while in real life i dont encounter this at all.
I competed as a fighter for more than 3 decades. Intimidation was a great part of a fighters arsenal if you could pull it off. However when i transitioned to being a trainer and coach to young fighters i realized that most of the young people that came in to the gym that had an intimidating act were really the least intimidating in the ring. I think i learned intimidation comes from action not impression. And regardless how strong, smart, or talented someone is, intimidation is not about the person with the strengths, its about the other person. So its not if someone is intimidating, its if someone can be intimidated.3 -
ermengarde22 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »Maybe what some people perceive as intimidation is really just a mismatch in personalities. Not everyone is going to Love each other
i think most people just aren’t comfortable with each other when they meet new people so they are reserved and then sometimes people read that as being cold
and also other people sometimes feel intimidated bc they just don’t have a lot of confidence in themselves and it has *kitten* to do with who’s standing in front of them
Yes i agree. Had i read this first i would not have posted my rambing thoughts lol2 -
ermengarde22 wrote: »TwitchyMagee wrote: »Maybe what some people perceive as intimidation is really just a mismatch in personalities. Not everyone is going to Love each other
i think most people just aren’t comfortable with each other when they meet new people so they are reserved and then sometimes people read that as being cold
and also other people sometimes feel intimidated bc they just don’t have a lot of confidence in themselves and it has *kitten* to do with who’s standing in front of them
It's this, in my opinion, but it's a moving target.
For lack of a better term, it's mostly about the receiver, the person feeling intimidated. Few grown-ups aspire to intimidate others, but many of us can feel intimidated on occasion by someone who has their life in order, even in a single aspect.
In the gym, this can translate to someone's hard work over a period of years easily showing, and being intimidating to a newbie. Outside of the gym in a more neutral setting, that same newbie might not feel that way at all, even in front of the same person.
In my opinion, the exception to that would be when someone clearly excels in many very visible ways - they are in great shape, their clothes are well chosen, their language is respectful and uplifting without being insincere, for example - they've spent years to maximize who they are in every sense. Frankly, many of us struggle to have our lives together in a way that it shows very broadly, and it's perceptibly different to see. Again, that's on the receiver feeling intimidated, to Revolu7's point, but it's real to them. If your life is together enough not to feel intimidated, so much the better.3 -
This was an interesting thread to lurk…and now I’m questioning what people thought of me upon first impression. I’m an introvert who plays the role of extrovert while deflecting vulnerability with intellectualism, self deprecation and humor. So my first impression is probably “damn that *kitten* is funny.” And they don’t realize I need to go lay down for 48 hours after social interactions, talk to no one, and survive in head phone mode while I run 3-26 miles by myself in the woods.5
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I have no idea. I think people think I’m very serious until I start talking.0
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Idk - I think I come across as a laid back dude to most - because I am - I can go with the flow of things - in pretty much any situation- am I always comfortable in said situation? Not always but I get by and no one would know the wiser - cause I don’t want to make anyone else uncomfortable- damnit maybe I’m not as chill as thought??6
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