Freak of nature and other backhanded compliments..,

ryry_

My wife calls me her "Beast."

I'm okay with that.

I think around here that's called an NSV

Panda_Rolls

"You look better with some weight on you, it makes it so you don't have so much of a horse face." Excuse me, a horse face? To be fair though, this person has asperger syndrome, I think she was genuinely trying to be nice.

jdm_taco

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From several people- "Wow, you look great. Did insurance cover gastric bypass?"

Me- "No, Im not a cheater. I did it the hard way. I'm sure you can to if you want."

Gastric bypass isn't the easy way. They have to work just as hard.

Sure lol

If that were the case, no one would get it or gain any of the weight back.

Nicolee_2014

My Dad throws so many at me I've forgotten!

LaserOctopus

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Maybe that *is* what they are thinking, but I also used words like "intended" and "purposely" - implication and connotation are as much a part of communication as actual words. And that particular comment rarely comes as "your lawn looks good, but might look better if" so much as "your lawn would look good if." So let's just agree to disagree. Unless, of course, you are one of those rare people who delights in a bit of verbal sparring?

I enjoy a little sparring from time to time, but in this instance I feel outclassed. I would like to suggest one thing before we close. I've never met you, but it's clear you are an intelligent person. Maybe you over think persons' intentions. Maybe you need to decock, and unload your fu pistol.

I will take that under advisement (minus, perhaps, those ones like how I would be pretty if I were shorter, lol). My handy little pistol doesn't get as overused as it did when I was in my 20s, but it is still an indispensable tool, especially when it comes to choosing the people I have around me IRL. But, yes, I do sometimes unfairly dismiss people for using the same old platitudes again and again without ever thinking about, or seeming to think about, how they actually sound to people or what they're actually saying. There is no smiley for a tip of the hat, so just pretend I put one here.

Mechanikitty

"Have you lost weight? You look really good. Don't lose any more weight or you'll be back to skin and bones again. That was ugly."

From a rotund woman who said it with a rather disgusted expression. Why the hell would anyone want you at a specific weight like that? I'm not doing it for anyone but myself, my opinion is what matters.

lucystacy71

My dad looked at me the other day and said, "You're losing some weight! I have too? Can't you tell? We probably weigh the same thing now!"

Did I mention that my dad hasn't lost weight, doesn't look like he has lost weight, and weighs just under 300lbs? Sadly, he was serious. This isn't the first time he's claimed we weigh the same or that I weigh more. I'm currently at 215lbs.

brianx99

"man you lost a lot of weight, but you're still fat!" lol i can't help but laugh it off.

sstan03

man you look great since you lost all that weight but now your head looks big....

Thanks, I think....hahaha

getitamb

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From several people- "Wow, you look great. Did insurance cover gastric bypass?"

Me- "No, Im not a cheater. I did it the hard way. I'm sure you can to if you want."

Gastric bypass isn't the easy way. They have to work just as hard.
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Sometimes harder. I respect all weight loss struggles.

hOw2lozeAgiN10dAze

From my inlaws- "You're almost hot enough to fock!" :huh: Okay, thanks.

TamaraKat

My ex-boyfriend: "You're so fat; you're a whale." :noway:
His parents: "You're not fat anymore!"

YoBecca

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I usually got the " you would be pretty if you lost weight". Or you look so much better now, Im not trying to be pretty, i want to be fit" Ignorant people suck

I don't think that's ignorant. I don't think there is anything wrong with either of those comments. Maybe you're too sensitive?

I get this kind of insult all the time: you would be pretty if you dressed like [insert random half-wit celebrity half my age here], you would be pretty if you changed your hair (both in it's current untreated state, and in every chemically-achieved color I ever had), you would be pretty if you were shorter (I'm 5'10), you would be pretty if you had a tan (seriously? Do I look like I even *can* tan?), you would be pretty if you weren't so smart (WTF? And not from someone who would have reason to know my intellectual capacity), you would be pretty if... the list goes on. And on. And on and on and on... It's like they're offended that I don't conform to their exact specifications. It may not be *intended* that way, but it comes across that way.

I don't think one of those items you mentioned had anything to do with losing weight or becoming healthier.

True. But they all have that "You would be pretty if," as if that thing, regardless of what it is, is your only chance to have some redeeming value. Certainly most people look better as they get healthier, but the implication (purposely or not) in that particular type of back-handed compliment is that right now you're hideous, and you should do X thing to make yourself acceptable to the person doing the complimenting.

I, personally, would probably enjoy life a lot more if all men were 6'5, well-defined, half-naked, and gorgeous. But I'm not going to go up to the ones who aren't and tell them they'd attractive "if"...

You wrote, " . . . right now you're hideous . . ." . . . WRONG. Maybe they are thinking "You are so pretty, but you'd be prettier if . . .".

Your lawn looks so do good, but it might look better if you fertilized it. See how that works? It all boils down to your attitude.

I don't see how anybody can defend these comments as anything other than rude. If a person *asks* what they can do to look better, whatever is said is fair game. But an unsolicited comment that you could be prettier if you lost weight - which clearly implies that you aren't sufficiently pretty now - is absolutely rude and hurtful *even if it's a fact*. Factual correctness doesn't make the speaker less of an *kitten*.

bernied262

"You look thinner. Have you been sick?" From a co-worker.

Gee, thanks.

Haha! I got this one today from someone i hadnt seen for 6 months. He did then go on to say that i looked well so I didn't slap him.

brower47

You're not nearly as big as you were in Montana.

I laughed but I tend to get a long life out of my panties by not getting them in unnecessary twists.

rachface1234

From someone who saw me in shorts for the first time: "OMG! (tone of disgust) JEEZ your legs look like BODYBUILDER's"....

yeah.. I ride horses, hike, run/walk, etc and I have strong legs. but I decided to say "WOW THANK YOU!!!" and took it as a compliment. I've seen some sexy women that lift, if my legs look like theirs then :drinker: :blushing: