Having trouble getting started 10 months postpartum

NotBearyFit

Hi everyone! I’m not new to MFP and I’ve successfully lost weight in the past. My last bout was in 2020 and I lost about 25 lbs. Fast forward to December 2021, I had my first baby and surprisingly I ended up being the lowest weight I’ve been in a long time! I had a c section and I had no appetite for over 3 months, it honestly helped me lose a lot of weight and I lost about 50 lbs (pregnancy weight was 25 lbs, lost another 25 from my normal weight!). After those 3 months though, my appetite came back and I’ve gained almost everything back! I’m 10 lbs away from being the heaviest that I was at 9 months pregnant. I’ve been having really hard time even just getting started on eating less/healthier. Usually I’m always able to get started and eventually fall off, but not this time, I keep saying I’ll start and start and never do. It’s tough having a baby, working full time and also trying to cook and clean a home. My husband also works FT and takes care of our baby a lot as well, so he’s tired too. I could use some motivation, tips, anything you got! This is my first baby and first time trying to lose weight postpartum. My baby is also at the stage where she’s no longer liking her Gerber baby food and wants whatever food we have. This is an issue since we tend to eat out a lot and we don’t want her eating unhealthy foods at all. I’ve been thinking that very soon, we are going to have to start eating at home more to make sure our baby doesn’t also get into eating unhealthily.

AnnPT77

Hello, and welcome to the MFP Community!

You've had quite a complicated couple of years, so my first advice would be to give yourself some grace, and the loving-kindness you'd show to a close friend in similar circumstances. (Don't beat yourself up!)

Weight management is a long-term proposition. For people like me (decades of obesity/overweight in the past), it's a lifelong endeavor **. That puts a premium on finding relatively easy, sustainable new habits that gradually take us to a healthy weight, and keep us there long term (ideally permanently).

IMO, too many people treat weight loss as an extreme project with an end date, and end up failing out of it because it's Just Too Hard.

One possible approach you could consider is just pulling on one small thread of the current overwhelming-seeming tangle.

* Are there certain treats or snacks that you eat regularly that you could reduce, replace or moderate?
* When you're eating out, are there certain choices you could make that would move things in a more calorie-moderate, nutritious direction, while continuing to eat out?
* Could you consider experimenting with one more eat-in dinner per week, and learn about quick/easy options? (People here have posted lots of easy ideas. Even getting a rotisserie chicken and some mixed frozen veggies can combine with pantry staples to make a few quick, simple meals: Maybe chicken and veg side one day, stir-fry the next day, then throw the rest into a soup/stew pot for a third meal?)
* Could you plan a pleasant walk in the park on the weekend with husband and baby as a way to get more movement into your week? If you watch TV, maybe do some stretches or marching in place when a commercial comes on?

It doesn't have to be extreme, difficult miserable stuff. You can make one small change, integrate that as a habit, make another change . . . keep going, and it will add up to a Big Deal over time. That time's going to pass regardless, y'know?

If you can find the time to start food logging on MFP, even just doing it for a week, even doing it roughly, your food diary can be a source of great insights, I'd bet. Quite quickly, I saw things I was eating regularly that had a high calorie cost, and that weren't that important to me for happiness, practicality, satiation or nutrition. Those were easy to reduce or eliminate.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm hearing hints in your post that you're thinking in terms of food duality: Healthy foods ("good"), unhealthy foods ("bad"). Honestly, it's not that black and white or dramatic. What really matters is overall nutrition (and reasonable calories) on average over a day or few. A mini Hershey chocolate bar doesn't cancel out my generous serving of broccoli, does it?

You can do this. One step at a time may be easier than trying to start a whole-life revolution all at once.

I'm cheering for you!

** P.S. I've been at a healthy weight now for a happy 7 years, after those previous decades of overweight/obesity. The results, IMO, are more than worth the moderate time/energy investment it's taken in practice.

NotBearyFit

Thank you

AnnPT77 wrote: »

Hello, and welcome to the MFP Community!

You've had quite a complicated couple of years, so my first advice would be to give yourself some grace, and the loving-kindness you'd show to a close friend in similar circumstances. (Don't beat yourself up!)

Weight management is a long-term proposition. For people like me (decades of obesity/overweight in the past), it's a lifelong endeavor **. That puts a premium on finding relatively easy, sustainable new habits that gradually take us to a healthy weight, and keep us there long term (ideally permanently).

IMO, too many people treat weight loss as an extreme project with an end date, and end up failing out of it because it's Just Too Hard.

One possible approach you could consider is just pulling on one small thread of the current overwhelming-seeming tangle.

* Are there certain treats or snacks that you eat regularly that you could reduce, replace or moderate?
* When you're eating out, are there certain choices you could make that would move things in a more calorie-moderate, nutritious direction, while continuing to eat out?
* Could you consider experimenting with one more eat-in dinner per week, and learn about quick/easy options? (People here have posted lots of easy ideas. Even getting a rotisserie chicken and some mixed frozen veggies can combine with pantry staples to make a few quick, simple meals: Maybe chicken and veg side one day, stir-fry the next day, then throw the rest into a soup/stew pot for a third meal?)
* Could you plan a pleasant walk in the park on the weekend with husband and baby as a way to get more movement into your week? If you watch TV, maybe do some stretches or marching in place when a commercial comes on?

It doesn't have to be extreme, difficult miserable stuff. You can make one small change, integrate that as a habit, make another change . . . keep going, and it will add up to a Big Deal over time. That time's going to pass regardless, y'know?

If you can find the time to start food logging on MFP, even just doing it for a week, even doing it roughly, your food diary can be a source of great insights, I'd bet. Quite quickly, I saw things I was eating regularly that had a high calorie cost, and that weren't that important to me for happiness, practicality, satiation or nutrition. Those were easy to reduce or eliminate.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm hearing hints in your post that you're thinking in terms of food duality: Healthy foods ("good"), unhealthy foods ("bad"). Honestly, it's not that black and white or dramatic. What really matters is overall nutrition (and reasonable calories) on average over a day or few. A mini Hershey chocolate bar doesn't cancel out my generous serving of broccoli, does it?

You can do this. One step at a time may be easier than trying to start a whole-life revolution all at once.

I'm cheering for you!

** P.S. I've been at a healthy weight now for a happy 7 years, after those previous decades of overweight/obesity. The results, IMO, are more than worth the moderate time/energy investment it's taken in practice.

Thank you for this. I think that’s one of my biggest issues that I tend to hyper focus on: I try and do all or nothing and if I can’t do it at all, I tend to not do it at all. When you put small changes into perspective like that, it really does make things seem a lot more reasonable and doable. Another issue I have is with losing weight quickly, eating low calories and exercising for rapid weight loss. This has worked in the past to lose it, but never to keep it off in the long run. I’ve been doing this for years and it’s always the same outcome. Maybe it’s time to try and change it up and not focus on trying to lose a lot of weight very quickly, but rather doing something that’s manageable and more sustainable in the long run. I feel like it’s a bit hard to accept losing weight slowly since I’m so big and have so much to lose, but I guess it’s better than not doing anything and continually gaining right? It will be a challenge to remind myself that small choices matter and to not get frustrated when I look at the scale, but it’s something that I need to try for awhile first before I can judge it.

AnnPT77

NotBearyFit wrote: »

Thank you

AnnPT77 wrote: »

Hello, and welcome to the MFP Community!

You've had quite a complicated couple of years, so my first advice would be to give yourself some grace, and the loving-kindness you'd show to a close friend in similar circumstances. (Don't beat yourself up!)

Weight management is a long-term proposition. For people like me (decades of obesity/overweight in the past), it's a lifelong endeavor **. That puts a premium on finding relatively easy, sustainable new habits that gradually take us to a healthy weight, and keep us there long term (ideally permanently).

IMO, too many people treat weight loss as an extreme project with an end date, and end up failing out of it because it's Just Too Hard.

One possible approach you could consider is just pulling on one small thread of the current overwhelming-seeming tangle.

* Are there certain treats or snacks that you eat regularly that you could reduce, replace or moderate?
* When you're eating out, are there certain choices you could make that would move things in a more calorie-moderate, nutritious direction, while continuing to eat out?
* Could you consider experimenting with one more eat-in dinner per week, and learn about quick/easy options? (People here have posted lots of easy ideas. Even getting a rotisserie chicken and some mixed frozen veggies can combine with pantry staples to make a few quick, simple meals: Maybe chicken and veg side one day, stir-fry the next day, then throw the rest into a soup/stew pot for a third meal?)
* Could you plan a pleasant walk in the park on the weekend with husband and baby as a way to get more movement into your week? If you watch TV, maybe do some stretches or marching in place when a commercial comes on?

It doesn't have to be extreme, difficult miserable stuff. You can make one small change, integrate that as a habit, make another change . . . keep going, and it will add up to a Big Deal over time. That time's going to pass regardless, y'know?

If you can find the time to start food logging on MFP, even just doing it for a week, even doing it roughly, your food diary can be a source of great insights, I'd bet. Quite quickly, I saw things I was eating regularly that had a high calorie cost, and that weren't that important to me for happiness, practicality, satiation or nutrition. Those were easy to reduce or eliminate.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm hearing hints in your post that you're thinking in terms of food duality: Healthy foods ("good"), unhealthy foods ("bad"). Honestly, it's not that black and white or dramatic. What really matters is overall nutrition (and reasonable calories) on average over a day or few. A mini Hershey chocolate bar doesn't cancel out my generous serving of broccoli, does it?

You can do this. One step at a time may be easier than trying to start a whole-life revolution all at once.

I'm cheering for you!

** P.S. I've been at a healthy weight now for a happy 7 years, after those previous decades of overweight/obesity. The results, IMO, are more than worth the moderate time/energy investment it's taken in practice.

Thank you for this. I think that’s one of my biggest issues that I tend to hyper focus on: I try and do all or nothing and if I can’t do it at all, I tend to not do it at all. When you put small changes into perspective like that, it really does make things seem a lot more reasonable and doable. Another issue I have is with losing weight quickly, eating low calories and exercising for rapid weight loss. This has worked in the past to lose it, but never to keep it off in the long run. I’ve been doing this for years and it’s always the same outcome. Maybe it’s time to try and change it up and not focus on trying to lose a lot of weight very quickly, but rather doing something that’s manageable and more sustainable in the long run. I feel like it’s a bit hard to accept losing weight slowly since I’m so big and have so much to lose, but I guess it’s better than not doing anything and continually gaining right? It will be a challenge to remind myself that small choices matter and to not get frustrated when I look at the scale, but it’s something that I need to try for awhile first before I can judge it.

I think that's good, and reasonable.

Sometimes, it can take less total calendar time to achieve weight management goals if one chips away at them gradually, but patiently and continuously, as opposed to going hard/all-out and having some backsliding or interruptions when other parts of life get complicated.

If you think about it, a lot of big life goals work this way: We make progress by regular, persistent, patient steps that add up to a big goal over relatively long time periods. That's pretty much how we go about getting an education, building a career, raising a family, making a nice home, achieving our financial plans, etc. I'm betting you've done some of those kinds of things already. The skills involved also apply to managing weight and improving fitness: It can happen with gradual, patient action.

Best wishes!

avatiach

What @AnnPT77 said. Another thing Ann has said (in other threads) and that I have found to be true, is that when you are tired you tend to crave quick energy foods (e.g., sugary, caffeine, etc.). Since you have a new baby and you're tired, I wonder if prioritizing getting more rest would help. Which I know can be hard with a new baby! One day at a time!

NotBearyFit

avatiach wrote: »

What @AnnPT77 said. Another thing Ann has said (in other threads) and that I have found to be true, is that when you are tired you tend to crave quick energy foods (e.g., sugary, caffeine, etc.). Since you have a new baby and you're tired, I wonder if prioritizing getting more rest would help. Which I know can be hard with a new baby! One day at a time!

Good point, I also walk a lot at work, about 5,000-10,000 steps a day, which also tires me out. I should try looking into some filling snacks that are a bit healthier. I tend to snack a lot on junk food at work!

JBanx256

I think it's awesome that you're wanting to develop healthy eating habits not just for you, but for the little one too. Remember to be patient with yourself though - just think, the most amazing thing your body has ever done took ~40 weeks, right? So don't expect it to do crazy magic overnight. Nourish yourself, be consistent, and give yourself some grace (not to mention some rest!). Best wishes!