Getting discouraged..

kmdsims

I want to lose around 60-70 pounds before my brothers wedding next year. (I'm the maid of honor.) I'm 18, currently weight 191 and recently lost 19 pounds! I was 210 before. The most I ever weighed and I decided it was enough. I've been sticking with a diet where I eat regular foods, just in really small portions. And its been working! But now I just feel like giving up and I don't want to. How do you stay on track? Any tips on how to be motivated for working out?

erbell3

19 lb is fantastic! Be proud of that. The thought of being on a diet is pretty depressing I think, it's all about deprivation, who would want to do that! Think about how you want to live your life. Do you want to be out doing fun things? What fun things do you want to do? Exercise should be fun, it shouldn't feel like torture, so find an activity that you really enjoy. You also probably don't want to live your life in a deprived state, I know I wouldn't, so think about foods and portions that will work for you in the long term, not "just really small portions." Good luck and I hope this was helpful

FP4HSharon

For me, whenever I hit a slump, I need new accountability. So initially I lost fine on my own, slump...then joined a First Place 4 Health Bible Study, slump....then became active on MFP, slump...joined a Christmas Challenge on MFP. After a while I get complacent w/my accountability partners, & need to find new ones.

tm82001

Congratulations on making a commitment to yourself to eat healthy. Nineteen pounds is an amazing amount of weight loss and you are definitely on the right path. I wish I could say that there is some big secret on staying motivated, but there is not. It is a daily commitment that you hold yourself to....period. With that said, you might do well with a workout/weight loss buddy, which may help you stay more accountable and motivated. Good luck, stay focused and remember this is a long journey.

pearson_p

I am recently committed to eating differently for the rest of my life. I was diagnosed with insulin resistance. I don't want to become diabetic. That was enough to motivate me. All that to say..... make it a personal issue for yourself. You are young and don't want health issues when you are older. Good luck to you in all your endeavors.

Crochetluvr

I started at the same weight you did. I am a lot older than you and my metabolism a lot slower. I plateaued in May and it took me 3 months to start losing again. We all get a little complacent after awhile and, yes, sometimes we need to change a few things to become recommitted.

You are doing terrific! Hang in there. If I can do this, you sure can!!

iquiltoo

do a forum search on "motivation". I have read a couple of threads, and some people have lots of good advice. One thing I remember, but am not sure I am quoting exactly, is that Discipline has to kick in when motivation leaves off. Discipline is doing what needs to be done even when you don't want to do it. That's really where I have been for a few weeks too! I don't dare skip going to the gym as I know that will lead to skipping more and more and I just cannot do that. Food is harder to be disciplined with. Oh, and here's a link to a blog post that I really liked -
http://actionfiguremini.tumblr.com/post/53432744622/lost-your-motivation-my-standard-answer
She talks about self-discipline too. I am glad I read your post as it made me look for and re-read the above!

kellyskitties

Currently my secret: Reach out to others for advice and be honest about the problems - you got that covered it seems.

I hit a point this last week where I even questioned if I cared about losing weight. The schedule was murdering me and I didn't think I would continue on. I posed the problem on here and got a few good suggestions.

The option I chose was to just keep logging and try to stay under maintenance calories. It's made a HUGE difference. I think I needed something to give for awhile and that was just what I needed.

I'd say hang in there - but what if you can't? What if you literally can't? Consider maintenance for a week or so to give yourself a break. Take a break and don't lose your place that way. It's worked miracles on my psyche, stress and salvaged the diet before I threw it away. It's saved me.

I told the hit it and get it folks to just "save themselves" and I'll see them at the goal later. I just didn't have the resolve to push through, hang in there, stick it out, hold myself more accountable and so forth.

On that note however, I kept logging, the good the bad and the ugly. I would also agree that before that point came, I was adding challenges to myself to keep motivated. There was just a point where it began to fail me. That was just a time to step back and realize that my life was getting in the way (schedule, deadlines, and so forth) and I couldn't keep it up right then. It's ok to have a plan A, B, C and more. Just don't quit entirely.

stephon116

What I would suggest is to get a support group
Beachbody has one of the biggest support groups out there
We post our after workout photos looking a hot sweaty mess and all we get is likes

Look into a program called Hip hop abs or Focus T25
Get a beachbody coach and join a challenge group
Competition is a great motivator

Momjogger

Are you being so restrictive that you are sick of dieting? Up your calories and add a little exercise or eat some fun foods that you feel are "forbidden". What helps me: I want to eat a bagel for breakfast with veggie cream cheese, so I eat half of one with as much cream cheese as I want, every morning until my craving is satisfied. It keeps me from over eating the bagels because I know I can have it again tomorrow. Wanted ice cream sandwiches, so I bought a box. I will split an ice cream sandwich with my daughter every day until the box is gone. Skinny people eat burgers, they eat fries, they have ice cream sundaes, but they may eat HALF a burger, eat fries for lunch with a salad, get a small ice cream sundae and not eat the last two bites. If you look at it as a "DIET", you will get discouraged. If you look at it as a behavior change, you can keep it up for a life time. AND if you revert back to old behaviors (as I did the last couple of weeks), that's OK, because you just start back up again with your plan. Have goals and a plan, and you can do it. Also, don't be afraid to tweek your plans and goals. My plan is to run on Mondays and Wednesdays, bike on Tuesdays and Thursdays, walk on Fridays and spin on Saturdays and Sundays. If it rains, I will do the elliptical or weight train. I will pack my lunch for work every day and only eat what is in the bag (hard and fast rule that worked for my brother when he lost 20 pounds last year) and make sure I add a snack I enjoy to the bag every day so that I don't get the urge to "eat outside the bag" LOL and to make sure I have fresh veggies ready to eat so I can snack on them while I make dinner. You need to make your own plans and goals based on what your challenges are. You CAN do this!

fitinthirteen

It's very hard to keep the faith when we have high expectations of ourselves. I find I'm more concerned about "doing it right" than being realistic about who I am, where I am and what I need to do for myself, and that leads to being discouraged. I find I'm my own harshest critic, and I avoid looking at myself when I don't "like" what I see. I've realized this has little to do with the number on the scale, and more to do with my own self-esteem. Being honest with myself helps me to accept where I am NOW and look at today's success as the only one that matters.

slim4health56

Discipline has to kick in when motivation leaves off. Discipline is doing what needs to be done even when you don't want to do it.

Thank you for this reminder...timing is perfect!

chezjuan

What about setting mini-goals for yourself. Rather than a long term goal many months away, try setting something a month (or even a week) away. It could be a weight goal, or it could be an exercise goal like "burn 1,000 calories this week" or "work out 4 times for at least 45 minutes." I find that worked for me when I was feeling like giving up.

nancybuss

Write down your "WHY" WHY are you doing this. The wedding is one good goal. Overall is it also for you and your Health? for a better lifetime? You're 19. This will hopefully be a life change, not a diet.

Can't see your diary, friend me if you'd like more info.

When you get down... Ready your WHY to yourself. know this is what you want. You're doing good that you are here. Lots of us also run monthly accountability or challenge groups or different things like that. Need extra motivation? join some (message me for more info you'd like)

You have been doing well. Don't stop. and yes we ALL have times we don't want to keep going. The main thing is to keep going

if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

Instead America has an Obesity Epidemic. Its Much easier to eat the quick foods, to enjoy the abundance that is available to us.

Want it.... want it with everything you have, and you'll achieve it. Don't wait until you're 45, like me.

Healingnutritionsolutions

What about setting mini-goals for yourself. Rather than a long term goal many months away, try setting something a month (or even a week) away. It could be a weight goal, or it could be an exercise goal like "burn 1,000 calories this week" or "work out 4 times for at least 45 minutes." I find that worked for me when I was feeling like giving up.

^this^ - enters the discipline vs. motivation thing... and you might just find yourself motivated again.

Right now I'm at a stall, but I'm happy even just staying level instead of climbing back up... trying anything new... eat a new food... drink 1 more glass of water, anything... anything but complacency.

slim4health56

Also, use this community to stay focused:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1083301-what-can-you-do-now-that-you-couldn-t-do-30-days-ago

Owligator

I'm around the same stats as you and what helped keep me motivated was getting a heart rate monitor on Amazon. My model was the FT4, it's awesome to see the actual numbers of calories burned and I know it personally motivates me every day. It's a little pricey but it's totally worth it. Buying fun work out shoes helps me as well. Try to think about how good you will feel after the work out. I struggle often with starting work outs but I try to remember the results. If you need any more motivation or advice I'd be happy to help you ! Congrats on being maid of honor and have fun.

nxd10

You have done great. I got the point after a few months where I just WANTED IT ALL OFF NOW. I was tired of it. I just wanted to quit - it was good enough.

That was a year ago. I've lost 20 more pounds since then (and I started off lighter than you). It is SO WORTH IT.

Just keep logging. It becomes a way of life.

MrsFowler1069

I want to lose around 60-70 pounds before my brothers wedding next year. (I'm the maid of honor.) I'm 18, currently weight 191 and recently lost 19 pounds! I was 210 before. The most I ever weighed and I decided it was enough. I've been sticking with a diet where I eat regular foods, just in really small portions. And its been working! But now I just feel like giving up and I don't want to. How do you stay on track? Any tips on how to be motivated for working out?

I just looked at your profile. You listed some things there - not wanting to be the big girl anymore, wanting to love your clothes. You have your brother's wedding to look forward to....just imagine yourself showing up there at your goal. The thing is, instead of thinking how far you have to go, I hope you realize that you are essentially a 1/3 of the way there already! This hasn't been wasted effort. Giving up just means going back to where you were instead of where you want to be.

Too, from a program standpoint, I'm not sure what you mean by 'regular foods, just in really small portions.' If you are eating so little that you're hungry a lot or if you're bored with what you're eating, that will make it harder. You don't have to give up the foods you like, but don't be afraid to work new things in, either. It's amazing how much food (and how much variety) you can eat and still be under goal. So don't be bored and don't think you need to feel deprived. Satifaction will help with sustainability.

I don't know if you're exercising, but you can tone up, energize yourself, eat more, distract yourself, etc. Maybe you can go window shopping for something you want to wear to the wedding or out to dinner that weekend, or whatever, and not buy it - until you've made the progress that you feel warrants it.

For me, lastly, intermediate goals are a big help. I have a lot to lose (and had I done what you're doing at nineteen, maybe I wouldn't have, but anyway.....), and if I alway thought of it in those terms, it would be discouraging at times. Yes, I want to lose aaaaalll that weight. I want be healthier and nicer looking for both myself and my husband, and to be more comfortable in my skin and all of that. But thinking, "I still have over a hundred pounds to lose" doesn't really do it for me, oddly enough. lol

So I try to look at things I have already accomplished and set goals that I can achieve soon. I can walk further and with more ease. I worked on a physical job the other day and had no trouble keeping up. My daughter said my arms look thinner yesterday. I eat healthier in general, although I darned well plan on having pizza tonight - that's today's goal! :laugh:

My first "big goal" was to get into my most recent pair of jeans...I wore them to the ballpark last night and was comfortable the entire time. I also didn't worry about fitting in the seat, something I've noticed at a couple of different places now. The next pair of jeans down fits too, but is a tiny bit snug, so guess what? You got it.

And next, I want the 50 pound mark...and I'm only 10 pounds away from it! No way I'll quit now!

Not only are these little things "motivating," but for me, they keep it fun. Eating a food I've never had, or budgeting into my calorie goal an old favorite, or trying out a recipe (last week we had Black Bean Brownies and I swear we couldn't tell they were anything but awesome), seeing the progress in the way I feel, on the scale, in the way my clothes fit. Having an ex-coworker exclaim when she saw me, "You look great!"

So I guess my advice it just that you are worth it. Stick with it because you deserve it. Don't be too restrictive. Do what you can to focus on intermediate achievements and goals and let yourself feel good about them! Let it be fun. Don't beat yourself up if you don't meet your expectations for a minute - every day is new. Be healthier, Be more comfortable. And wow them at that wedding!

Take care, honey. You've got this.

PS Oh and one more thing - my daughter is your age and has lost over 10 pounds exercising and eating well.......and she looks gorgeous. I'm sure your family feels the same way.

Samthefrog

When my friend was getting married in 2006, she tried to get me to lose 80 lbs before her wedding because I was one of her bridesmaids. At first, I was all into it and actually managed to lose about 40 lbs, but by her wedding I gained it all back and I think she was disappointed (she was quite the bridezilla, but I'll save those stories for another post). I think I didn't succeed because I was doing it for her wedding, but not for myself. As soon as I started to get pissed off at her bridezilla theatrics, I lost the will to lose the weight for it.

All in all, I try not to think about a particular event or thing as a goal, but more that I'm being healthy for me and all the reasons I want (to join a Hula school, to have more energy, so my *kitten* fits in different places, etc.). And whatever I lose by a particular event is whatever I happen to lose by then. I don't do to well with time restrictions, I guess but that's just me.

It really helped me to think of my own reasons for losing weight. Like, my own reasons, not anything or anyone else. See if this helps? Good luck! You can do it, girl!!

sirius951

Hi, I have no discipline and refuse to exercise (traumatised by school phys. ed. :-) ) Just gradually feeling more energetic as weight comes off. So I suppose I'm doing it all wrong but I have lost about a stone in 3 months on here by keeping my food diary on here every day. I'm plateauing now so I've got a bit fed up with it. My way to get through it is to have a planned day off today and back on the wagon tomorrow. I've looked up the calories for my old favourite treats and I'm thinking that if I weaken again I'll have a treat on Sundays if I want to, when I know if I've got calories in the bank from going slightly under during the week. 50 cals under a day for 6 days is 350 cals. More than enough for a Mars Bar. Although now I realise I can incorporate these things if I want to I probably won't get that "I'm deprived" craving. If it helps - lowest calorie choccy - Milky Way (about 80) or Curly Wurly (about 115). Crisps - Quavers about 80. Personal favourite - take away - half a Special Chow Mein - (about 375) Phwoar!
Hopefully now I won't feel so much like I'm on a diet as nothing is forbidden - it's all about the cals. More about healthier eating with the occasional treat and feeling good.
I suppose I'm basically saying of you do break the diet don't feel bad, you're only human, as long as you carry on next day you'll be fine.
Hope this helps you to feel better if you do weaken and well done for what you've achieved so far? It's hard once the initial burst of enthusiasm wears off but keep soldiering on. :-) :-) :-)

getitamb

It's easier to stay motivated if y focus in the healthy things u like. Like I'm staring to like cooking. That's becoming more focus than the weight loss. I also know alot if ppl with health problems bc of weight. I know I might not moth ate them to keep going but I know it won't if I stop. U have to find something bigger than the scale to strive for in my opinion.

getitamb

It's easier to stay motivated if y focus in the healthy things u like. Like I'm staring to like cooking. That's becoming more focus than the weight loss. I also know alot if ppl with health problems bc of weight. I know I might not moth ate them to keep going but I know it won't if I stop. U have to find something bigger than the scale to strive for in my opinion.
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This is typos galore but I hope the message is clear. Lol

MrsFowler1069

It's easier to stay motivated if y focus in the healthy things u like. Like I'm staring to like cooking. That's becoming more focus than the weight loss. I also know alot if ppl with health problems bc of weight. I know I might not moth ate them to keep going but I know it won't if I stop. U have to find something bigger than the scale to strive for in my opinion.
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This is typos galore but I hope the message is clear. Lol

It makes perfect sense. : )

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taunto

I want to lose around 60-70 pounds before my brothers wedding next year. (I'm the maid of honor.) I'm 18, currently weight 191 and recently lost 19 pounds! I was 210 before. The most I ever weighed and I decided it was enough. I've been sticking with a diet where I eat regular foods, just in really small portions. And its been working! But now I just feel like giving up and I don't want to. How do you stay on track? Any tips on how to be motivated for working out?

You will lose motivation. It cannot be avoided. What you can do is to embrace it and it gets easier from it. For me personally, achieving milestones and getting compliments causes me to get lazy. Like if my family compliments me that "You're looking great. Keep up the good work!" then I feel like I can take a few lazy days off and chill. That is ok. It is OK to chill for a few days. What motivates me back is when I look in the mirror and see the flab and then see my friends or some hottie and think "ok, get back at it because you aren't done".

Constantly remind yourself of what your true goal is. Whether it be reaching a goal weight or a 6 pack or whatever.

I do have 2 big tips to give you though which will hopefully get you through

1) DO NOT GIVE UP! Stay persistent. You are probably on your multiple attempt to lose weight. As am I. The difference between my previous attempts and this one is that I am not giving up after a few months. I have been at it for 1.5 years. Its been slow. I am still going at it because i know that I will be back to where I started (if not more) feeling worst and thinking "I shoulda finished what I started. Stay persistent!

2) surround yourself with good, quality, understanding, inspiring and encouraging friends. My friends constantly get me back on track. And I'm talking about MFP friends (I don't discuss fitness with people irl)

acpgee

Maybe you should just try a different eating/exercising protocol build in your weekly calorie deficit.

If you get fed up with eating modest amounts, you could make it routine to do a big cardio workout several times a week. That's my current strategy.

Or try 5:2 intermittent fasting (google it). It's a protocol where you eat at TDEE for 5 days out of the week and only 500 cals for 2 days. It's good for people who find occasional extreme deprivation easier to deal with than constant low level deprivation. I did this for a couple of months last year and lost well doing it. It wasn't right for me long term, because I found myself preoccupied with food on the 2 fast days.

You've made great progress so far, and good luck with finding a sustainable way of sticking to a deficit.

brett1117

have to change your mind before you change your body! How you look and feel should be your motivation! Get off your *kitten* and do something about it! how'd that work

rosej31

Are you in the wedding? If so, think about how you would look in the dress n how you be so proud of yourself on your brother wedding day. Think of positive things....A year will be here before you know it. So stay on track, you have many friends on here to support you. Take one day at a time.....Maybe, you want to carry something with you to remind you to stay focus.

Good Luck

brett1117

Not going to sugar coat anything or be political correct. Fat and unhealthy is not a good look!!

gbwooden

You need to find a friend who is willing to join---or already belongs to---MyFitnessPal, so you can encourage each other every day. This past week has been my toughest yet. I have lost 37 pounds and have 63 to go. My wife "encourages" me to go to the gym. Last year I went faithfully, but I wasn't watching what I ate. A friend at work told me about this site and it has literally CHANGED MY LIFE. I don't go work out as often as I should, but when I do, my personal go-to machine is the elliptical. I started out barely able to do one-half mile. My last time on the machine, I did 6.6 miles in 30 minutes. My wife and my sister walk and exercise together almost every single day. That is the key: finding an accountability partner.
YOU CAN DO THIS! You have already come a long way. Good luck!