LESS Alcohol ~ JANUARY 2023 ~ One Day At A Time
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Wow so this is what happens when you skip around and not log in for a few days! Everyone has posted but you and then you spend 30 min just trying to catch up on posts....
So not a great 4-6 days with alcohol. Not bad but not great. I know this is weird but since DH is home I am not following my normal routines that got me this far. We tend to go to 'lunch' at the drop of a hat and that involves usually a beer so then the day is really off.
I know it will level out in the next month or so but right now I am just going to have to find some sort of routine that bypasses old behaviors we are trying to change.
Before it was 'our weekend' and I could work that in fine for my drink day. Now it seems drink day is coming way too often and not on a weekend.
Onward and upwards
@MissMay now that I am knee deep in house packing...as opposed to hip deep. Did you find it difficult to downsize your items and get rid of things? did you have a criteria for what you kept and what you tossed? We have been in this house for 27 years
hugs to everyone, your stories and advice are so uplifting6 -
@dawnbgethealthy ...thanks for the photos...that Caesar looks like a complete lunch... veggie salad and a drink!
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About NA wine... I have to be honest I have not tried much but I have read tons of reviews and they're all bad (leading to not trying much). The market there is certainly expanding, though.
I'm in @globalhiker 's camp with a citrus-y soda as a wine replacement. I too find them super satisfying because of their tart edge. I mix citrus juice with zest and sucralose drops (artificial sweetener) in a LaCroix type carbonated water or I mix it with Fresca for sweetness. Unlike @globalhiker, I have no compunction about diet soda whatsoever. I have a couple diet sodas every week, more in summer (probably one a day), so it's not like I'm pounding them all day but all hard evidence I've been able to find suggests they cause no harm whatsoever in moderation.6 -
@lmlmrn ...10 years ago I purchased a second home in Pittsburgh because I was spending so much time visiting my daughters and the only places to stay were on my camping cot in Middle Daughter's laundry room or a hotel. Eventually the decision was made to make that my primary home, so I packed up all my antiques, and measured the Pittsburgh house, including the location of windows and electric outlets. Measured each piece of antique furniture and found it a place [ on paper] in my new home. Anal retentive, much ?? Gathered family, friends, a rental truck and a loading crew at both locations and headed South to do the move.
Pulled up to my beach house, opened the door...and heard a hissing sound...gas leak? No, no gas supply at that house...about a week previous some cretin had broken into my house and disconnected a water pipe. Ankle deep water throughout. Long hysterical weekend followed, involving police, a neighborhood house flipper who offered to buy my ruined house, repacking glass & china still in soggy newspaper into new dry boxes, abandoning treasures destroyed by water, screaming at the aforementioned friends and family for "whatever", and hiring an animal control company to remove one scared black snake from under the house because the flood remediator crew refused to work while it was there.
Eldest Daughter & I sent the rental truck North and sat on the sunny beach eating carryout fried chicken, then headed up to meet the scheduled unloading crew. Of course it was snowing in Pittsburgh. Pessimist me had proactively taken a 12x12 yard sale rug and turned it upside down on my livingroom carpet. Whew.
That entire experience was put in a mental box & locked away. I refuse to open that up and mourn "what was".
Thank goodness that was during one of my non-drinking periods !!
If you have rented a "pod" you can do a second downsizing when you find your new home. Good wishes on your new journey.5 -
IMHO there IS no good AF wine. Tried too many of the "highly recommended" . And wine should not be "sparkling" unless it's champagne. Again, the only opinion I have is my own.
Left my cave [@MissMay] to catch a ride to a Beer Store where I was amazed at the number of different AF brands available now. I wanted 2 cases so I just grabbed some Edge because all else including 00 was in short supply. Won't need beer for a couple months now. Not a beer drinker, one with a meal is enough. The fizzy seems to prevent me from wanting another.
My lonely emergency bottle of Chianti remains in the wine cellar. Keep getting e-mails about monthly wine sales. All that is needed is to make a selection, and click send. Right to the front door. My UPS guy isn't judgey.
Just...no. January has been AF and maybe will just run on thru February...it's a short month, after all.
😬🍷7 -
All this about Bloody Maries and Caesars and Clamato and such has me hankering for a proper michelada - that's a huge thing around here. I had never tried one for the longest time; at first I just saw the domestic swill version in groceries and thought "ick." I eventually decided there must be SOMETHING to it, because they're insanely popular. So I tried one and while it's certainly not for everyone and not something I'd drink all the time, I like them. I tend to make my own with good Bloody Mary mix and Tajin, although there's a million variations on the theme. Some versions have clam juice. That doesn't sound good to me, so I haven't tried it.
So of course the next step in this line of thinking is, is an NA michelada on the menu soon? Could use something like Athetic Brewing's Cerveza Athletica, all in all it probably wouldn't be outlandish in terms of calories.
AF yesterday but I've been struggling with it. I'm smoking more and eating more and working out less and just generally avoiding everything and everyone as much as I can and I know it's not good but that's just where I am right now. I stopped at the grocery and picked up a few things this morning, grabbed some Saint Arnold Hop Spring, similar to Hoppy Refresher - sparkling water hopped with Citra & Amarillo hops. It's okay. I like beer better, even NA beer, but it isn't bad. A little pricey for what it is, IMHO, and not much more appealing than a Topo Chico with fresh sliced lime.
I finally pulled the pics from TN off of the Oly today, some came out good, some came out crap. I was mostly impatient and shooting on the go with hastily selected lenses and settings, but I'm mostly happy with what I see so far.
Bentley is getting gabapentin with the rimadyl now. It comes in 100mg capsules which is a RIDICULOUS dose for a 14lb dog, the first one knocked his *kitten* in the dirt for the entire day. Now I'm opening capsules and dumping most of the contents into a bowl, giving him roughly a quarter dose, and he seems to be doing more or less okay with that. I've got supplies coming to measure and repack capsules so I can get more precise, find him a balance between some relief and not too wasted to do normal dog stuff. The stress of dealing with his issues doesn't help.
Mankini season is coming and I'm still stuck on a plateau about halfway to my goal weight. I need to do better if I want to be ready.
-m5 -
Hello! It’s Amanda, I’m back. It’s a new month and a new year! I’ve been thinking about 2022 and 2023. I’ve got some goals for the year and staying 98% AF is one of them. I love this group, I love this thread, it really works.
1/1-1/7: 7 out of 7 AF
1/8-1/14: 7 out of 7 AF
1/15-1/22: 7 out of 7 AF
1/22: AF
1/23: AF
I spent most of my evening trying to decompress from work. I was too amped up to sleep well, despite my best efforts. My job is stealing my joy. First thing on the list after radiation-job hunt!
Current things to do: meditate and order those stress gummies!
31 day AF streak
0 A out of 24 for the month
1/24: AF
1/25: AF
Too tired to think about having a drink. Too tired to do much of anything!4 -
Couple questions: I have been following mostly this month but started AF mid-month, what will happen for Feb? Will a new thread begin?
I see a lot of people mention AF beer but nothing on wine. I am a huge wine lover and I have never found an AF version that is worth drinking. Any recommendations?
Yes, our fearless leader @MissMay creates a thread for the following month, usually a couple days before the end of this month.
Good NA wine is the unicorn of NA drinks. It does not exist.4 -
Stockholm_Andy wrote: »
Hahahhahahaha! I’d pay good money to see that!2 -
@joans1976 " I was too amped up to sleep well, despite my best efforts. My job is stealing my joy."
Everytime I read this my heart sinks.
I'm not sure how long you have had that particular job, but I think you are in an abusive relationship there.
It may be time to breakup with Bosszilla. There are also legal avenues through your state employment division that you can take. State governments frown upon bosses taking advantage of employees and or the public.
❣6 -
@Stockholm_Andy @mfowler883 you know a mankini is basically just a thong pulled up over each shoulder. LOL
Thanks for the visual.🕶
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Add to the Bloody Mary list is
Bloody Irishman and Bloody Hot
Loved the taste of virgin bloodys in the past. Then the sodium kicked in the next day. I mostly went for them for the tomato juice, frill topped celery, black olive, dilly beans, cheese and other goodies on the skewers. Dinner in a glass.
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@MissMay I would LOVE to quit this job. Unfortunately it is not possible because I need my health insurance so badly right now because of this damn cancer. I could look up COBRA coverage but Im not sure where I would get the money to pay for that. I also am a firm believer that its easier to find a job when you have a job. I had a plan all scheduled out to be out of this job by mid January but then the cancer came. I have worked for this psychopath of a woman since 2015 (but in a clinical setting, so there were other people and she hides her crazy sometimes) and directly under her since March 2020. The pandemic hit and everything was askew so I thought her crazy was just from the pandemic. I took this position of being her "right hand man" and discussed with her how I would not do her dirty work for her (ie telling clients their pet had cancer after not following up for 2 months.) She promised me up and down and back and forth that it wouldnt be like that. Slowly she started crossing boundaries. I was afraid I would lose my job if I didnt do what she asked. I get to work from home and I can basically make my own schedule as long as I get my work done and am available to the clients. So I thought I "owed" her something. She is very, very tricky. Shes like a politician, she tells everybody what they want to hear and is very sincere when she does it, so people believe her. Her husband is a lawyer so I dont feel like I could ever financially take on her bad behavior in an actual court of law. I have plenty of documentation. She owns the practice and it is thriving. There is no HR or anyone above her. I have no one to go to. I looked up reporting her to various veterinary medical associations but there are so many laws protecting her. And she would make my life hell.
So. I am knee deep in therapy to cope. I hope to recover from radiation and find a new job after that. I want to be able to apply for a job and know I can give it 100% and not be tired from cancer treatment. Radiation should take about a month and I should be recovered from side effects 2 weeks after that. So fingers crossed, May of 2023?
Sorry for the rant. I want to be out of there as much as you guys want me to stop whining about her. She is a succubus and a poison.
Now Im off to my radiation simulation...apparently I get tattooed for this!8 -
I am Dawn, I live in SE BC Canada
My ongoing goal remains, 16-20 AF days per month.
Last month I had 18AF days
I do this diary style to keep track, and post the next morning
Wednesday January 25 - AF - A very long and late day between my 2 jobs. I really felt like having a couple of drinks (maybe I feel like that every day) but used willpower. Thursday night (tonight) I am going to some friends' house for Indian/Indonesian dinner. He (making Dosa) will want to have a couple of drinks, she (Indonesian muslim) doesn't like him to have any alcohol at all, so having company is his chance to have a couple. Pretty sure that I will be able to stay AF although I think that there will be a bit of pressure. Kind of saving up drink days for the weekend now, I will have a very late Friday night after my restaurant job on a reset with my other job, Foster Grant. Already thinking of sinking into the tub after that with my TV rolled up close, watch some HGTV and have some prosecco or something.
Rolling total: 14AF days out of 25 days3 -
@MissMay LOL I may have to buzz you. I don't have a problem tossing 'things' it is DH. So I will get over it.
So I am finding I am going to leave my 'office' for last to pack and paint. Yesterday I took a car load of clothes to donate. Today will be more of the same. My train of thought is, is it worth the cost of packing and taking up space or is it easier to replace when we get to where we are going? Like our Washer & Dryer....I am up for leaving them. The dryer is old but a workhorse, washer about 7 yrs old. Our bed....replace the box spring and frame, but mattress is new, so keeping that. Cost to replace box spring and frame? approx $150.
I will keep all the shelving since we spent some money on it. Our dinning table/chairs, living room stuff all that is not coming with us. Just a few antique tables that DH has refinished and we both like.
My inexpensive computer type tables nope not coming with me. you can see the pattern.
DH.....not giving up any of his things LOL But that is ok, he has a lot to digest. No longer working after 47 years of business ownership. Kinda of out of sorts right now for him so he is really focused on getting the house packed as his 'job'.
But on the + side AF, today I will make some more 'shrub' for my mocktails in the evening.
@joans1976 I am sending you huge hugs for dealing with bosszilla. Her ethics and behavior is nothing short of a bully. She knows you need the insurance and going through a series health issue. I am praying for karma.
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mfowler883 wrote: »
It was a receipt for a woman's wedding ring set he leant money to his (so he thought) future Brother-In-Law to give his ( my husbands' )Sister.
You can tell from the "as he thought" comment the wedding never happened. He never got his money for the rings, yet the rings went missing after the break up.
The only thing that 20 year old receipt did was stir up anger in him when ever he came across it while pawing through his brief case.
It had to end. There was no collecting the $. There was no getting the couple back together. The receipt was old, torn and faded like the relationship.
Time to let it GO! Now when he paws through the brief case there is no anger.9 -
@joans1976
YOU NEEDED THAT LONG POST TO VOICE YOUR FEELINGS.
Do not apologize, if you took an entire page to let it out it would have been OK.
I know first you need a plan in place before you attempt.to more forward.
Fingers crossed you can start to slip out slowly on your own terms.
Vent any time, we all have to.9 -
26 days AF for January.
We are planning to have a drink or two tonight.
Good test for me to prove to myself I can take it easy AND get back on the wagon tomorrow.
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Hi, I’m Amanda from Michigan. I joined this group in June 2017 and I love the people on it like they are dear friends. I have greatly reduced my alcohol intake thanks to this thread and the support here.
1/1-1/26: AF
1/26: AF
I some how managed to erase my January document for LA and I can’t remember what it said exactly but I know I’ve been AF.
Feeling pretty low today, poor sleep last night. Depressing doctor appointment yesterday. I did figure out I have only had 1 drink in 93 days and it was a holiday sit by the fire warm up drink. I would like to have 5 or 6 vodka cocktails tonight to just forget about everything but I won’t because there are too many consequences, physically and emotionally. 😐😐😐
34 days AF13 -
Feeling pretty low today, poor sleep last night. Depressing doctor appointment yesterday. I did figure out I have only had 1 drink in 93 days and it was a holiday sit by the fire warm up drink. I would like to have 5 or 6 vodka cocktails tonight to just forget about everything but I won’t because there are too many consequences, physically and emotionally. 😐😐😐
34 days AF
Hang in there Amanda! You are going through the wringer right now but in the words of the world famous* D:REAM - Thiiiiiiinnnnngs can only get better,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6QhAZckY8w
*Well they were world famous in Northern Ireland in the mid 90s
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@Stockholm_Andy I love kitties, thanks for posting that. Good luck with your experiment! Also thank you for the video! It’s very true. And I love the 90s! Thank you, I needed to see that.
@MissMay Thank you, with all my heart
@lmlmrn I helped my parents move in September. My mom started sorting things in May and is not a hoarder. My dad started packing 5 days before the movers came and he is a hoarder. He ended up just literally taking drawers full of….hoarded stuff and dumping them into boxes and labeling them “important.” I tried to explain to him that it would be me and me only going through these things after he was gone and I would have no idea how to know what was important. He didn’t budge. He has every golf tee he’s ever used for golf. He has every screw one could ever need but he can’t find it. He has his drafting plans from work from 1972 but the paper is dry and crackling. I’ve read hoarding is due to unresolved trauma and he does get very angry and anxious if you throw something away of his, including an empty cardboard box. It pains me but he is 76 and I have to pick my battles.
It is hard though to let things go. During packing I found my mom crying over a box with my oldest brother’s first pair of overalls and my christening gown. She didn’t know why or where she wanted to keep them but she knew she couldn’t part with them. I took them from her and told her I would keep them safe (I 100% don’t want this box of stuff and have nowhere to put it) and she was relieved.
Paring down things is hard and emotional. I admire you for starting ahead of time. There used to be a TV show on HGTV (?) years ago where they would lay three tarps in the yard: one for trash, one for donate and one for keep. The people had to choose where to put all their things. It usually started with one broken thing on trash and a huge pile on keep. Can you do something like that?
Or call @MissMay lol I’m sure she has better ideas!6 -
Last Friday of January
How are your goals adding up?
What will you do in February?
Plan ahead.
If you are looking forward to February 1st to get back to old drinking habits you avoided in January, be careful.
Your alcohol tolerance has probably dropped and the first drink(or two) could knock you on your backside pretty quick.
😉
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Hugs to those going through rough patches right now. Alcohol related or not.
TODAY I am celebrating the start of my journey on this thread. January 25th 2018 was my first post, RubyRed promptly greeted and welcomed me.
I come here for so many reasons.
It is my home, my neighborhood, my hangout, my therapy session, my comedy club, my pinterest, my shoulder to lean on, my safe place and more.
I keep coming here because I want to, not because I have to. This thread with thousands of posts from all you wonderful people have changed my life. And keeps me in check and accountable.
I ❤ this place and all of you.
Thank you for being here.
@MissMay Well said!5 -
I hope to do better in February. More A than AF days this month.
Regarding cleaning out our folks's homes, this is a good article about Swedish Death Cleaning. It is the concept of paring down in middle age so our children or whoever is in charge, don't have to do it once we pass. My husband and I did a great deal of this when we downsized but still nowhere near what needs to be done. Clearing out my FIL's 60 years of possessions when we moved him a year ago, was a nightmare I would not wish on anyone. Do it for your loved ones.
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/what-swedish-death-cleaning-should-you-be-doing-it-ncna8165113 -
@joans1976
YOU NEEDED THAT LONG POST TO VOICE YOUR FEELINGS.
Do not apologize, if you took an entire page to let it out it would have been OK.
I know first you need a plan in place before you attempt.to more forward.
Fingers crossed you can start to slip out slowly on your own terms.
Vent any time, we all have to.
This.
We know you’re between a rock and a hard place right now.I totally get why you can’t leave quite yet , or exact sweet sweet revenge. But the light at the end of the tunnel is that soon you’ll be done with treatment and in a better job before you know it! Hugs.
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January accountability: 10 days AF
Alcohol: 16 days (40 drinks)
Goal: Limit 2 glasses per day; 20-25 AF days this month. I usually target 12-16 AF days each month which is usually a challenge … hitting 20 days since DH backed out of his dry January commitment is definitely influencing me to join him on weekdays I had not planned when setting the goal. Going for it anyway!
1/26 - 1 Torchy’s Tini
Torchy's Tini: 100% pure agave reposado tequila by Exotico*, served in a shaker with lime juice, simple syrup & olive juice.
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Tough, busy day at work at work yesterday. I was very happy it was wine night, I “needed “ it. I was tempted to have another glass when I got home but glad I didn’t.
So far 11 AF days in January. Not bad! I think I’ll skip drinking tonight since I’ll be home, to make up for last minute restaurant trips this week. However, if I wind up going to dinner, all bets are off and I’ll have one.
Ah, cleaning out our parents houses. When my dad had to move to assisted living, and we went to put the house up for sale, I was lucky enough that my dad was able to afford to hire an estate clean out service to sort through and dispose of 50 years worth of stuff in my parents house. Worth every expensive penny. My mom (who passed in 2009) had tchotchkes all over the place, very few of her collectibles were worth
anything. Plus, mountains of paperwork, our old school projects and so much more. So. Much. Stuff.
When it was all done, and the old carpet ripped out, full paint job, cutting back of overgrown bushes, power washing the deck, new light fixtures, hardwood floors redone, new roof…. It was a lovely home that could breathe again, and charmingly open its doors to a new family. Years of deferred maintenance were finally done (my dad was just too old and immobile to walk the property and see what needed to be addressed). Does this make me a flipper? Haha!
I’m so blessed that they lived far
below their means because the money was there to make these repairs, and there was actually a bidding war on the house! I realize many people are not in this situation.
I got lucky.
Shout out to my tradesmen. They all knew each other, and worked around each other’s schedules to do whatever needed doing while I lived an hour and a half away. They were my angels.
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So, I had my first A day in January last night. But... it was a celebratory glass of champagne (Veuve!) to mark the end of a nearly 4 month period of unemployment for my DH. He finally landed a contracting gig (he's in the pharma field). It's been stressful, frustrating and, at times, marriage-straining. If we had gone a couple more months I don't know what other fractures could have surfaced in our 20-year marriage. It's about more than money, for sure. It was a lot about how different we are in how we were approaching our situation. I had way too many days of coming home from work to wonder what value he placed on his free time - which was more-often-than-not, very little. Video game playing and Netflix binge-watching seems to be the time-sucks most chosen.
I am a workaholic (amongst MANY other flaws). I don't like to underperform in, well, anything that is in my control. He is a go-with-the-flow type. It works most of the time, as well rub off on each other enough to keep the friction to a minimum.
We've gone to counseling - and actually like it! We had to stop after he lost his job because it was just too costly. Once he gets in the rhythm of this new job, we are going back.
Did I NEED to drink the champagne? No. But it was delicious. And I stopped after one 8-oz glass (I measured and tracked!).
Cheers to new opportunities.
Will be AF tonight, and tomorrow is our day in NY - not tracking and will have drinks if I am feeling it. Back on track Sunday!
Sorry to the vent!
Happy Friday and have a great weekend!!
-Georgia
Jan 25 out of 26 days AF
11
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