Seeing a trainer does not an expert make!

JStarnes

Rant - length warning.

I'm so irritated with my SIL. SO a lil back story - 4months ago her & I got into it over her stupid choice to eat 900 cals/daily or less. She lost weight a few years ago by doing this & told me that it was Dr's orders so I just left it alone bc she supposedly was seeing a Dr. Come to find out her ''Dr.'' was actually a Dr. from a weight loss clinic - DUH he wants her to lose the weight quick, his reputation depends on her losing weight! So after a few months of phenteremine (spellin?) and some sort of shots & this insane crash cal intake she lost a ton of weight.

Fast forward to this year...she's back to her starting weight & struggling to lose since stopping the pills/shots. Now she has joined a crazy expensive gym that she never uses but takes advantage of the ''trainer'' that she can still communicate with via on line chats thru the gym website. She was running with me in the mornings but has injured herself so isn't doing anything right now. She raves about this frickin' trainer all the time (I'll get back to him in a minute) and I'm so tired of hearing how amazing & smart he is & how he helps her soooo much.

TODAY I told her that I have been basically eating my maintenance cals for some time now - really since I started running full time (and not doing maintenance on purpose, just ''cheating'' and being lucky enough to keep at maintenance & not gain) so I told her I thought about eating my maintenance cals and using running as a way of creating a deficit - not a completely horrible idea, and just that, and IDEA. WELL - her response is this:

(and it was via text)

ur number of cal. takin in daily should fluctuate or ur training ur body to only burn that amt of cal. a good healthy diet cal intake for females is 1200. I flucuated mine between 900-1250 with one freeday weekly. my body never got used to an amt.

Am I totally crazy or did I miss somewhere that 1200 cals was the HEALTHY norm for women??? I thought 1200 was the min. that MOST women should decrease their cals to (I know there are circumstances where its ok to dip below, but for the majority I think its 1200) and I'm by no means an expert - BUT I've been at this for 2+yrs now and have lost 66lbs & KEPT IT OFF...she has lost 40lbs & gained back 60lbs. I did it WITHOUT pills, WITHOUT shots, WITHOUT some stupid trainer feeding me BS and WITHOUT starving myself. I'm just floored by the fact that she doesn't care AT ALL what I have to say bc its opposite of what her trainer has told her...and I use the term ''trainer'' loosely.

BECAUSE - that same ''trainer'' is also her Mom's trainer. And this is how my Dad's conversation went with her Mom at dinner yday...I just listened to it & let it go in one ear & out the other.

My Dad: I saw that 5k you're (me) doing in August advertised in the paper again today.
Her Mom: I'm surprised people are still signing up for that, my trainer is really against cardio.
My Dad: Really? Why?
Her Mom: because its really really unhealthy to run more than a quarter mile at a time. It's too demanding on the body.
My Dad: Wow, I wouldn't have thought that, there are so many healthy, fit runners out there doing it every day.
Her Mom: Yeah well, my trainer says its crazy for people to do that damage to their bodies. 1/4 mile is the max anybody should do at one time. He really knows his stuff.

So, by this time my eyeballs have about popped out of my head bc it just sounds so insane to me. Again, did I miss something somewhere, are marathon runners really really unhealthy?? Oh, and by the way, before having GASTRIC BYPASS her Mom also tried the pills & shots. NO WONDER her trainer doesn't want her doing cardio, she only like 2 months post surgery! UGH! (Again, I know there are circumstances where the surgery is the best option or a persons only option so its not like I'm just against the surgery)

I'm just irritated & tired of people pushing their ways of losing weight on me when its CLEAR that I know what the h*ll I'm doing. 66lbs was not an accident! I don't care if you throw up your meals and lose 60lbs in 2 months, I don't care if you don't eat anything but peppermint & coffee and lose 60lbs in a week! To each his own, do what works for YOU and tweak when necessary, but don't assume that I have no idea what I'm talking about because I've never seen a doctor about weight loss or been to a clinic or been to a "TRAINER''

Anybody else dealing with someone like her?? How do you deal? I just want to flip out on her but so far I've just said things like "well, if it works for you, that's great, but I'm doing this way"....

paulaswrld

Wow! Those are some crazy chicks! Try to take a step back and laugh. You have the last laugh after all....the proof is the weight difference. You are doing great and don't let them irritate you. Remember, doesn't stress add to belly fat or something like that? LOL
Keep in mind too that they could be seriously misconstrewing the information they are getting from the trainer too. It sounds like they are not very educated or they'd see for themselves that you are clearly more healthy than them and do their own research.

Liz75

Wow! You have done brilliantly and if you are doing lots of running, you need cals!. I agree 1200 should be minimum cals for women to eat!! Leave the quick fixes to it, you've had your rant ..and you're the one who has done soo well, and done it the right way ;-)

happily

Good for you for keeping your temper. I'm not sure I could have.

DanOhh

Oh yea! well I heard from my dad's, son's, brother's, dad's, son. That you shouldn't eat more than 1200 cal. a day. I agree w/ you. People need to learn to get second opinions and do research. Just because someone is a doctor doesn't mean they are perfect, trust me. It's OK to do research. If something seems strange i.e. eating below 1200 cal. Find more opinions than just one "expert". This is your health people!

glfprncs2

Isn't it interesting how everyone has a tendency to 'jump on a bandwagon' and then start shouting at bystanders from his or her perch?

I think your success shows that the program you're working is working just fine for you. I'd simply choose to ignore...

And regarding the 1200 thing...it always amazes me, even on here, how many people think 1200 calories is the amount they need to eat if they are a woman. I'm a woman, 5'9", 172 lbs., have 22% body fat, size 10/12, eat around 2000 calories/day and am still losing 1-1.5 pounds/week. I'm simply very active, and burn about 2700 calories/day, so maintain my deficit that way. I think I would literally PASS OUT if I only ate 1200 calories.

glfprncs2

OMG...and I just reread the part about cardio and running being bad for you...I wonder where the 'trainer' was certified?

JessiJean

That is just crazy thinking you shouldn't do cardio! :noway: How the hell are they burning any calories????? If I were her I would listen to you, as you clearly have done exceptionally well! Just keep trying to let it go. Your success has proven itself and thier's is only short lived.

lina1131

You have to ignore people like that, because no matter what you tell them they want to believe what they want to believe.

Do what you are doing and forget their opinion.

metizzy2

That's amazing! I know someone who was on a diet similar to your SIL. My friend went to a weight loss clinic, got shots (B complex I think), took diet pills, and was told to eat as much meat as possible. She was so proud of herself for losing weight (she hardly ever exercised), and she had strong leg muscles, which she attributes to all the protein she was consuming. This was a VERY expensive diet, but all I could do was shake my head. There was no way I was going to tell her that I thought it was an unhealthy way to lose weight. She stopped going to this clinic, and gained her weight back, and then some! Now she's on medi fast and hoping to lose weight again. My 16 yr old daughter told her that she NEEDS to exercise, but she said it hurts to walk. She thinks that she can lose weight permanently WITHOUT exercise, but that's just not the case. These types of people have their own way of thinking and there is nothing we can do to change their minds. I commend you for losing weight the RIGHT way. Oh and by the way, when people work out, we HAVE to consume more than 1200 calories....it only makes sense!

cparter

I love this post. Absolutely love this post. It goes hand in hand with the post I just made earlier about people living on supplements instead of making a change for a life style. You friends trainer is off his rockers and your friend is unfortunately quite naive as well as her mother.

You have proven what MFP is about. It is about making "Wise" choices for a life time and not allowing foolish ideas to steer you down the wrong path. You have done enough to prove your advice more worthy of hers but she can not see it pass her own blinders. How is it that you can lose so much and maintain it and she lose and gain 150% back.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of yo-yo dieters out there who can tell you a lot about nothing and have you going nowhere if you listen to their so called expert advice. Keep up the good work and hopefully she will wake up and take some real advice or at least learn to keep her own advice to herself until she has awakened from her coma and accepted that her way will not last for the long run.

MissingMinnesota

wow really wow only 1/4 mile of cardio at a time? Don't they have zumba and spin classes at that gym? I am sure they are doing a lot more then that in those classes. I think my trainer would have a field day with that since she just did a half marathon much less what she wants me to do. Since she has me doing 1/4 mile on the eliptical is only a cardio blast between weight machines during our training sessions.

mooz

I have found, in my 38 years of being obese that EVERYONE is an expert at weight loss. Everyone is right all the time and nothing you do or say will make any difference. So...I've learned to save myself aggrevation and not say anything and go about my business.

I tend to not talk to my family about my weight loss efforts or wanting to be healthier. I know I'll get a lot of those "expert" opinions that I dont need and dont want.

Keep doing what you're doing. You know in the long run [no pun intended], you'll be better for staying on your path.

PixieGoddess

That is just crazy thinking you shouldn't do cardio! :noway: How the hell are they burning any calories????? If I were her I would listen to you, as you clearly have done exceptionally well! Just keep trying to let it go. Your success has proven itself and thier's is only short lived.

It's not crazy, it makes perfect sense.....for people with lots of money who will pay people too much just to tell them what they want to hear: that they can be lazy and still lose weight. :smokin:

(Notice the unhealthy smoking smiley that accompanies that statement!)

Laceylala

Ahhhh....for them, ignorance is bliss.

russ1220

This story as me rolling!

Everyone has a solution to everything, we have to do what's best for yourself and what ever works best for you. :laugh:

surlydave

I've seen that before about fluctuating calories (do people really eat exactly the same amount every day?) I've also seen that some people believe interval cardio produces better results than, say, a long steady run. Frankly, to me these are all just ideas. Concepts. There is not one true answer for everyone. If it worked for your SIL, more power to her, but as you pointed out it didn't! You've shown amazing success, so just stick with it.

leavinglasvegas

Just laugh. :laugh:

My mom always told me when I was a kid, "There are 3 things you never talk about with people: religion, politics, and abortion."

I think diet should be added to that list. Its such a hot topic and once someone gets a thought in their head about what is right, they will never let it go.

I have actually heard people say they don't believe in scientific fact. I'm not talking about any old thing, but a fact like, you need food to survive. Someone actually told me that they don't believe in that. :noway: WTF???? You don't believe in that? My uncle actually believes that you don't need water to survive because of some radio show. I'm not talking about drinking extra water, he actually believes that the whole science that says we are made up of mostly water is a scam by the bottled water companies.

So, in the end, I just take all this in and laugh. What more can you do? People can be comedians just by being themselves. Life can be like watching a trippped out, offensively funny, highly stupid movie.

LittleSpy

Yep. My mom (a registered nurse) gets on me all the time about running. When I told her I was running barefoot I seriously thought she was going to have a stroke. She can go on for hours and hours about how unhealthy running is (for my bones/tendons/joints.. not for my heart/lungs She's not *that* crazy). She never bothered looking into what I meant by the term "barefoot running." The word "running" alone was enough to send her into a tizzy and then when I combined "running" with the word "barefoot" it was just way too much for her to handle.

But she never ever ever ever says anything to my brother who is about 150 (or more) pounds overweight. I assume it's because weight is a more sensitve topic in her opinion (she's obese), but that doesn't make the situation any less ridiculous. The last few times she's gotten on to me about it I just laugh and say "Okay, mom. I know that's how you feel." I think she's finally gotten the point because I haven't heard anything out of her about it in a while.

soulfire711

Oh my!! I have a hard time keeping my calories between 1200 and 1400...I can't imagine only getting 900 a day!! I have to admit, however, that if I wouldn't have started MFP...I might have been tempted to believe that 900 cals was a good idea. Eat less...lose weight. It seems to make sense. THEN you do it and you discover pretty quickly that NO ONE should have to live like that!!!

I have a few things to say about the cardio!! That's what killed me!! I'm not an expert, but I thought that cardio was one of the best ways to lose weight. A lot of very healthy people rely on running as their primary source of exercise. About the 1/4 mile thing....I can see that being a recommendation for someone that is seriously overweight because of damage to joints. Being overweight is already hard on the body...and running is hard on the body...so it makes sense that running would be even harder on the body of someone that's overweight. BUT...to make a blanket statement like that is just ridiculous.

Interesting tid bit: One of my friends just listened to a book called "Born to Run" that talked about footwear while running. Evidently there are runners in Mexico that wear nothing but sandles while running because your feet are designed to handle the impact and our fancy shoes are preventing our feet from doing their job. :-) Our shoes also cause our feet to move and rotate differently, which causes injuries. According to this book, there weren't near as many injuries back when we didn't have performance running gear. Something to think about.

JStarnes

:flowerforyou: I'm so relieved to see positive responses - I was afraid after I had re-read my post that I was coming off super b*tchy & that I was being too judgemental of her ways. I mean, I really don't care what other people do to lose their weight, would I prefer everybody do it the healthy way? Well yeah, but I'd also prefer to be a size 4 w/o a bit of effort & we all know that's not gonna happen!

Littlespy- how long did it take you to get used to doing it barefooted? Were your legs/feet sore the first few times you ran w/o shoes?