Advice to stop being a fat ***?

70sthin

Would love to hear from someone who has overcome being a fat ***. I can't seem to get motivated and I lack the dedication to work out and eat healthier. I have no interest in joining a gym, I can't imagine getting into a home workout routine, and I have no interests. I've struggled with depression my entire life and I'm not taking medication. I don't drink or do any kind of drugs to self medicate, which is a good thing. I know I would feel better if I worked out and/or ate better, but I feel dead inside.

sbelletti

A few things... Step 1: If you struggle with depression, get help. It sounds like you aren't coping with it on your own, so until you have a handle on it with some professional help it's going to be hard to deal with any other areas of your life.

Step 2: Once you get your depression under control, THEN you can start gaining control of your weight by concentrating on eating less and/or moving more. Hate to work out? You don't actually have to! You can simply eat less and still lose weight without any exercise.

Many people find success with small changes and patience. As you lose, you may find you have more energy and actually feel like moving to Step 3: taking a walk or lifting some dumbbells are a good way to start.

The key for me was that I had to be mentally ready and DECIDE that I was going to commit to this process. Once I got to that point, it was really creating a series of small, achievable goals. Give yourself time. Give yourself permission to fail on the occasional small goal, but stay with it and you CAN get there. Thousands of people on MFP are proof-positive that anyone can do it, especially with community help and support.

Good luck!

70sthin

Thank you so much for the helpful advice!

Jthanmyfitnesspal

You know you better than anyone else, so I ask you:

What are you willing to do? (No "should's" allowed.)

JaysFan82

Motivation has to come within. How badly do you want it? If the answer isn't "really badly", then you won't be successful

SafariGalNYC

2 things that worked for me: a routine and discipline. (Being lazy has always been my foe.. I stress too much and it’s easy to just want comfort on days off.. this is where the discipline came in.)

A routine helped with planning and preparing meals.. and above all .. discipline for portion control/ limiting my calories and making wiser food choices for my body.

A lot of people talk about motivation .. I think anyone just needs to want to make a change and do the work necessary to make the change a success.

If one day you overeat, jump back on the next day..

Rockmama1111

To build on the theme of “motivation comes from within”… what does motivate you, or what has in the past? Not even just for health/fitness, but in life? Is it rewards? Recognition? Money? Answer that question, then figure out a way to apply it to your health goals.

My own example: I love getting a good deal and hate wasting money. I have a Fitbit and compete in StepBet challenges. I’m too cheap to lose my initial wager and I’m stoked about getting paid to exercise. I earned enough in 2022 to pay for my pricey walking shoes and then some.

70sthin

Jthanmyfitnesspal wrote: »

You know you better than anyone else, so I ask you:

What are you willing to do? (No "should's" allowed.)

Good advice. I know a few things I'm willing to start.

70sthin

I_AM_ISRAEL wrote: »

Stop eating *kitten* foods. Go for a walk every day to get some of that vitamin D. Sleep well every night. Limit electronics exposure.
Meditate on Christ, the oil within that makes all things new

What's a kitten food?

70sthin

Rockmama1111 wrote: »

To build on the theme of “motivation comes from within”… what does motivate you, or what has in the past? Not even just for health/fitness, but in life? Is it rewards? Recognition? Money? Answer that question, then figure out a way to apply it to your health goals.

My own example: I love getting a good deal and hate wasting money. I have a Fitbit and compete in StepBet challenges. I’m too cheap to lose my initial wager and I’m stoked about getting paid to exercise. I earned enough in 2022 to pay for my pricey walking shoes and then some.

That's a really good question. What motivates me? I like feeling good. I like saving money. Right now what I'm doing isn't making me feel good. I'd be saving money if I didn't eat as much.

refactored

My motivation only came after I took some small steps first.

For example, I logged everything I ate without any changes. Once I saw how much I was overeating, I had some numbers I could start working with.

I also started by just weighing myself everyday and used a charting tool (Libra). Seeing the trend going up made me realise the worst thing wasn't that I was maintaining but I was actually still gaining.

For exercise I started doing just 5 minutes each day. I would start a YouTube video and only do 5 minutes. After a while I felt like doing more so I gradually increased the time.

I actually created a chart that had these few steps that I could tick off each day. It sounds childish but seeing all the ticks helped me to keep the momentum going. I then created a new chart with new goals after 2 weeks.

Best of luck with finding the strategy that works for you.

70sthin

refactored wrote: »

My motivation only came after I took some small steps first.

I love this idea of starting slow and tracking my intake and food. I think i underestimate what i put in my mouth. I don't weigh myself, and i don't exercise at all, so a lot I can start working on. Would be interesting to start tracking from ground zero. Thank you.

actualbearss

Honestly, seeing a therapist was THE game changer for me. It turns out there were many small things I wasn't doing because I wasn't "motivated" to do them. The reality was I was stressed, anxious, and depressed, and treating those things helped me have the mental energy to do the smaller self-care tasks, which, in turn, worked me up to doing bigger things like going for walks, eating better, etc.

I also work in the mental health field myself, and I can say without a doubt that mental health is absolutely the biggest factor when it comes to a lack of motivation/desire to do things.

70sthin

actualbearss you are right in that mental health is the biggest factor in lack of motivation/desire to do things. I feel slow and heavy and moving is difficult. Sometimes I feel too lazy to roll over in bed eventhough I know I'd be more comfortable in another position.

penguinmama87

Other posters have given really good advice, but I thought I would throw in one personal experience re: exercise: I didn't have any interest in it until I had already lost some weight. It is *hard* to move a heavier body; harder than it is for a lighter person just because the body is bigger! When I was at my top weight a couple of years ago, I did feel absolutely awful in body. I focused only on diet for a while because exercise was painful and annoying and adjusting the food habit was hard enough. I had already done a lot of mental health work and recovery and was in a good place in most other areas of my life, and still found it incredibly difficult to feel motivated to move more than I had to.

But after I lost a few pounds, suddenly taking a walk seemed doable. Maybe even fun. Maybe I could walk instead of drive for a couple of errands. Then I lost a few more and wanted to move even more. I got to a point where if I didn't move a lot during the day I would get antsy and irritable and feel like I just had to *do* something. Then I got interested in lifting heavy things, which I would have sworn before I lost the weight that I would never have any interest in! I became a person who got excited about working out and testing my limits and seeing what I could do, and if I could get better.

The motivations for doing these things comes and goes, but one really nice thing about forming good habits is the cascading effect - things begin clicking into place as long as you start somewhere. It won't look the same for every person, but discipline begets discipline, in my experience. You don't have to run a marathon the first day, or have the perfect nutrition, or sleep schedule. But improving one over time is likely to yield results in the other areas if you stick with it, and even though you're doing more it probably won't feel as hard by then.

70sthin

penguinmama87 wrote: »

Other posters have given really good advice, but I thought I would throw in one personal experience re: exercise: I didn't have any interest in it until I had already lost some weight.

Darn good advice on exercise. I walked a little today. Not sure how/if I will get into that routine, but I wish I was still outside walking. I've cut back on my food intake the past few days and already feel like I have more energy. I hope I don't fall into old habits. Your words are encouraging though. Thank you ❤️

springlering62

70sthin wrote: »

I_AM_ISRAEL wrote: »

Stop eating *kitten* foods. Go for a walk every day to get some of that vitamin D. Sleep well every night. Limit electronics exposure.
Meditate on Christ, the oil within that makes all things new

What's a kitten food?

It’s the cat food diet. Very popular in these parts. A bite or two of Little Friskies and you’re pretty much done for the day. The weight melts off.

Seriously, MFP replaces any cuss word with *kitten*, so no one is offended. Sometimes the word their algorithm replaces is totally random, which leads to some entertaining posts.

My first advice to you would be to stop calling yourself names.

I came up sharing a bathroom with a mother who would often look in the mirror, hit herself, and start wailing “D, you ugly stupid fat *kitten*”.

So I had that attitude myself. Who better to hate me, than me, right? If I have dibs on that, then I can’t be surprised when no one else likes me either.

One of the things I had to do was turn it on its ear and decide, ya know what? I’m a pretty unique, cool, interesting individual, and deserve to love myself. Once I was free to actually like myself, losing weight was easier. It no longer became a barrier to hide behind from all the “hateful” people.

It still flares it’s ugly head, but you have to take a deep breath and tell yourself, those people probably don’t give you two toots, and besides, they’re too busy hating their own selves or life or job or family to invest time and energy in hating you.

springlering62

And PS: stop using the words don’t, can’t, won’t.

Ask yourself why not?

I never thought I’d join a gym, lift weights (albeit little tiny piddly weights compared to some of the superstars here).

I NEVER thought I’d enjoy running. Last time I ran was Presidents test in the very early 70’s. But I challenged myself to take it up at 57 and dammit, I may run slow as molasses in January, but I do and I enjoy it. (I’m not trying to get my speed up any due to clumsy feet and several bad falls. Instead I focus on the simple joy of being able to run).

So for forty plus years, I shortchanged myself with “won’t enjoy” and “can’t do it”.

Words matter. They become part of your being and your subconscious perception of your own abilities.

springlering62

And PPS: you can continue eating the *kitten* food. Eat any darn thing you want.

But weigh your food and log it.

If you choose to continue that’s up to you.

But for me - and YMMV- weighing and logging led to cognizance of the “cost” of calories, and how darn hard it was to burn those same calories off.

That led in turn to better choice.

I made it a game and a personal challenge to stay within my calorie goal each day. I pre-log my calories a few days out and adjust them on the fly if I unexpectedly go out to dinner, discover the old husband has eaten the leftover roast chicken destined for my wrap or salad, or decide I want an extra snack or chocolate instead of whatever I’d planned.

It’s like Tetris, and can actually be interesting and…dare I say…. Fun.

It’s all in the attitude you bring to the table. Literally, lol.

sarah7591

Every journey began with one step. I would get help for your depression. You don't have to feel that way....there is help for this. You can do this and we will all support this. Wishing you all the very best....you got this!

70sthin

springlering62 wrote: »

And PS: stop using the words don’t, can’t, won’t.

Thank you for the advice and sharing some of your background. I appreciate your words of wisdom! What you said about not hating yourself makes sense and it's something I need to work on. I get down on myself when I eat poorly. Sometimes I pick myself up and don't feel.too bad and just get back to eating better. It's a challenge though.