Hi!!!! It's Me😁

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Reneesantiago56
Reneesantiago56 Posts: 9 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Just had my birthday yesterday, passed the 40 year mark again...they say keep trying till you get it right...but 20+ times is quite a lot..
I recently lost my best friend and accountability partner 💔 to a stroke. Without her walking this path with me it's lonely and much more difficult to stay focused.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD which explained a lot with why I have a difficult time with weight. Even more reason for my need for a supportive tribe.
I have many reasons for losing weight...the biggest is health and ability to do all the crazy things I want to do, now that I retired.
Moving in 2019 to South Africa from the Midwest ...marrying the man of my dreams at 65..now I've got things to do places to go..its horrible to live next to the sea and never be able to enjoy it because you're too ashamed on how you look in a bathing suit..want to feel comfortable in my own skin again.
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  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,765 Member
    edited January 2023
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    Hello, and welcome to the Community forums (I see you first joined MFP a while back)!

    I only passed the 40 year mark once, that I remember ;) , but somehow made it to 67 anyway. Sounds like we're at different points now in weight management and fitness (I'm maintaining a healthy weight since getting there at age 60 with MFP's help - both the app and the Community - after having been overweight to obese for around 3 decades before that).

    I'll never look super cute in a swimsuit (post bilateral mastectomies, no reconstruction, not gonna wear prostheses except maybe for dress-up occasions), which is OK since I don't love to swim. (I think it's because as a rower, swimming reminds me of failure at rowing? :D ).

    Nonetheless, I did take adult learn-to-swim lessons while still obese, and post-mastectomy, and found that the rest of the folks at the pool pretty much ignored me, didn't stare or criticize, despite my unusual appearance and atrocious swimming strokes!.

    I was self-conscious at first for sure, but talked myself into going, and gained confidence from the experience. Maybe you'd find the same, at the beach? How about visit in some kind of nice swim coverup, do some nice wading, see how things go? Maybe get in the water if that small start seems OK?

    There are also some great swimwear options that offer a little more coverage these days, like swim shorts (board shorts or capris) or skirts with blouson or rashguard tops, and - this is not a joke or a diss - some swimwear designed for Muslim women that has looser shaping and longer sleeves/pants (head covering separate) that does come in plus sizes. You can see examples on Amazon (look up swim burka plus size).

    I've been plus size myself, obviously, so these are things I've definitely wrangled with. I need modest-ish swimsuits even now that I'm slimmer because my surgeries left me with chest divots and more tissue missing in my left underarm area, so I need at least close armholes and a high neck, or I'm sharing more of my scars and chest with the world than I prefer to share!

    Being brave can lead to some fun adventures, in my experience. I encourage others to give things a try. Sometimes it isn't as awful as my anxiety leads me to anticipate.

    You absolutely can succeed in your goals. IME, body weight is more about eating than exercise. (I didn't increase exercise to lose weight, just stayed about the same degree of active). Exercise is great, but any form of movement burns a few extra calories, from a nice walk at the park to a bike ride, playing with kids, pickleball (popular in our demographic these days), yoga or other mild exercise in a class or via free YouTube videos, and any of dozens of other options, in addition to swimming (or wading in the water while wearing a nice cover-up ;) just to get one's feet wet ;) ).

    Wishing you success!
  • mtaratoot
    mtaratoot Posts: 13,570 Member
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    Welcome!

    I sure hope you can ditch the self-shame. Accept who you are and enjoy every moment! You can still take steps to improve yourself. @AnnPT77 has plenty of good suggestions. For sure just don't worry what other people think about you. A wise person once told me, "If you knew how LITTLE other people actually think about you, you wouldn't be concerned."

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