LESS Alcohol ~ FEBRUARY 2023 ~ One Day at A Time
Replies
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Happy weekend all -
It’s going to be warm here in CA (61-64 degrees) on Sat and Sunday so I plan to work in the backyard on prepping my garden and soaking up some vitamin D.
Will hold off my desire to imbibe today and plan 2 glasses of Proseco or Brut tomorrow with dinner and a movie at home.
Feb stats total:
AF: 10
A: 66 -
I am in NYC with my husband - I lived here for 10 years and miss it. We went gallery hopping, and we had a pre dinner mocktail at the newly renovated Hotel Chelsea lobby bar. Sugar Snap Pea Gimlets … made with Seedlip NA Gin (which I couldn’t taste) but the drink was lovely as an aqua fresca type beverage and was served in a heavy crystal glass with a huge rock of ice that had a sweet pea shoot frozen in it. Really lovely. For anyone who knows the history of the hotel Chelsea it is famous as the residence of many authors, musicians and artists as well as various not so famous but very memorable characters who resided there when it accepted permanent/long-term residents. See the wikipedia writeup for a taste of the wild things that have gone on here. I hope the ghosts don’t party too hard tonight …. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotel_Chelsea
We went on to dinner at Hav Mar which is Chef Marcus Samuelsson’ new restaurant. He is Ethiopian born, and was adopted by Swedish parents and grew up in Sweden before coming to the US and becoming a restauranteur and food media personality. The name of the restaurant is composed of Hav (meaning ocean in Swedish) and Mar (honey in Amharic, spoken in Ethiopia) and the restaurant combines the best of both influences. if anyone is in NYC and has the opportunity it is worth getting reservations. It is expensive but the space is beautiful, the staff super attentive and lovely, and the food was inventive and joyful. Maybe we just haven’t been out much, maybe we were in very good moods despite the horrible sleet and wind, but it was really great. Also, several non alcoholic beers, wines, and cocktails (several in each category) and a few were quite unusual.
Did a ton of walking, have a lot more planned tomorrow including another great dinner reservation and I might have to give my credit card a work out too. I have only been exercising it at appointments for elderly people so it needs some fresh air too!9 -
Adding more AF days to my February tally.
15 AF
2 A
I am pretty sure if I drank any booze right now I would most certainly break into tears. Not really sure what is causing this blue mood. This too shall pass.
14 -
Michieb125 wrote: »@Sherbog seems like you have thought about your choices for tonight and went with the one that supports your incredible streak.
8 days and this is the time I found it most challenging. Plus I have way to much bourbon in the place! I have not quit drinking just desperately want to get back into the required swim suit for a trip to Mexico in November. Your post is helpful.9 -
11 out of 17 days wine free. I drink one glass once in a while, not two or three every night. I usually have a shot of whiskey after work, before dinner.8
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Hey everyone, I’m Amanda. I live in Michigan and it is freezing and gray here but at least it’s staying light out past 5 pm now. ☀️
I joined this lovely thread in the summer of 2022 and it has made a huge difference in my life! I’ve gone from being 25% AF to 98% AF.
The people here are kind and real and smart and fun! Welcome to all newcomers!
2/1-2/7: 6 out of 7 AF
2/8-2/14: 7 out of 7 AF
2/14: AF
My weight is up 2 pounds from lack of logging but I’m really enjoying the mental break of not logging. Like many of you said, I know what I need to eat, I was eating the same few foods just in a rotation while losing. I’m still eating those foods and getting my 5 a day in but…chocolate.
Hugs all around, everyone is doing great things!
2/15: AF
Geez oh man, work is a real albatross this week! I’m trying to just plow through and get it done. And to remain AF while I do it. Yes. Must remain AF. While working and otherwise.
2/15 & 2/17 AF
Well, Narcissa strikes again. I’m behind on my work because no one covers for me while I’m out with doctors appointments, surgery, just getting cancer treatment in general. Keep in mind Narcissa doesn’t get back to clients for months whose pets have lymphoma, pancreatitis, kidney failure. I turned in my work excuse letter saying I needed an abbreviated work schedule due to getting radiation and she had one of her yes men come back and insult my intelligence, my work ethic and my financial situation. They are giving me 3 days to get all of my work done after it comes in which will be impossible to do while getting radiation.
She’s finally beat me. She knows she has set me up to fail. I haven’t signed anything or agreed to anything. I started radiation Friday and I screwed it all up because of my anxiety, I couldn’t do the breathing right. This is infuriating because this time should be about me and taking care of me. Instead I’m worried about health insurance and if I’ll have a full paycheck again.
I’m sorry for the rant about something non alcohol related. I had to get it out. I’m going to look for a new job today but it’s hard because I’m not sure of my reliability due to radiation. I’m stuck. I need a lawyer and like 5k to get me by.
14 days AF9 -
@joans1976 The situation sounds so awful. Your friends here are thinking about you and wishing you some peace and serenity. And of course you are permitted to rant here!6
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@Stockholm_Andy What a lovely name, Summer. Im glad to hear about the no tail docking there. I used to work for an old school vet 23 years ago who did tail docking (barbaric) and ear cropping. He would crop these poor babies ears when they were 12 weeks old with no post operative pain medications. They would scream and scream. I was holding one tight one day when he woke up from anesthesia from having his ears cropped, trying to comfort him and I got fired on the spot. A blessing in disguise and that doctor eventually got what was coming to him with ill health and a painful death but it breaks my heart to think of all the puppies he hurt. Just so they could fit a breed standard.
Anyway summer is beautiful and majestic and I love her ears!
@mfowler883 How are you and your wife and Bentley doing? Is he urinating more frequently? Im sure you have discussed this with the vet but he could be holding his urine for various reasons. You could express his bladder but if hes holding it, that wont really help. I have taught owners in this situation how to catheterize their pets and its very easy (especially since hes a boy) but it can introduce infection so he will likely have to go on antibiotics, which can upset his stomach.
I love the pictures. My two derps keep locking themselves in the bathroom and when I hear the door banging sounds I go and see the door is closed and I open it and they walk out like nothing is weird but there are always toys involved.8 -
2/1- 2/2- 2/3 -2/4 - A
2/5 - AF
2/6 - AF
2/7 - AF
2/8 - AF
2/9 - A - 2/10 - 2/11 -A
2/12 - AF
2/13 - A
2/14 - AF
2/15 - 2/16- 2/17- 2/18- A -- more A days this month so far but logging anyway to keep accountability going. Love this judgement-free space!7 -
@joans1976 I am not an employment lawyer, but what I recall of my own FMLA situation was that I only needed to present a letter that said that I needed the time off and that the employer had to give it to me without pay and that is it. No additional requests or renegotiations of my work obligations were made because that defeats the purpose if you are having a treatment every single day for a period of weeks. The idea is that they redistribute the workload for a short period of time and you are guaranteed a job when you come back. It is especially so if all you are asking is to be gone for an hour or so every day. How much work can pile up in an hour of travel to/from a 20 min radiation appointment in her opinion? Definitely don’t sign anything.
See if there is a law school with a legal clinic nearby or just call up someone who teaches employment law at a local law school and ask them a question or two about your situation. They aren’t likely to be able to take you on as a client (clinics at law schools work for free and have income cut offs) unless you make less than $30K a year for the entire household, but if you get someone who is willing to chat with you they may be able to give you some useful guidance on the phone just off the top of their heads without taking you on as a client. (Most lawyers who aren’t in private practice can’t help it - they want’ to answer real people’s questions). Additionally, there is likely to be a government resource line that you can call to get help in your state. Then you can go back to the conversation with Narcissa armed with knowledge of your legal rights and not get pushed around.
On the radiation …my center always had a choice of music available. If yours doesn’t bring your phone and listen to something to take yourself out of where you are. Try to meditate. The first couple of sessions are the most challenging while you get used to the positioning, but I had some days here and there where something was going on in my head or body that just wasn’t right and those days were harder. The music and meditation really helped. If I am recalling correctly the controlled breathing is mostly for when they are creating the mold to hold you in the right place because they are making very precise measurements to plan the radiation angles then as well. is that what you were talking about? Everyone screws that up and they expect it and schedule for it accordingly. Don’t give it another thought. The people you are dealing with have seen everything you can throw at them and 100x worse. They likely radiate children and people who have dementia. Imagine trying to get someone who can’t understand or follow instructions because they are scared or physically can’t hold still doing what you did. I am confident you did more than brilliantly. Cuddle your kitties, have some tea, take a walk and breathe. Don’t worry about this. You are in their hands now. They will take care of you. Let them do the work. Don’t take on more emotional burdens than you have to. It is their job to get it right no matter what you do or don’t do. They know how to do it. They will get it right. You’ll do great. Sending you light and peace.7 -
Hi - Robyn here in SE Virginia. My goal is 16+ AF days per month. I had 18 AF days last month. I'm drinking less for health and weight loss. I post the next morning.
2/17: Drinks (1) - This is such an amazing getaway in the mountains and it's heaven hanging out with our youngest, girlfriend, and all our pets. There are horses across the street and long-haired cows down the road. I'll try to get some photos to share with the group. Last night we went to a nearby brewery. I had a single IPA with dinner there. This was not my plan but normally I would have had two. I had NA drinks before and after.
Rolling Total: 9 AF Days out of 174 -
@MissMay WooHoo! Great job! I also enjoyed your description of your Las Vegas trip!3
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@joans1967 Thinking of you during your 20-days!4
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@Joan1976 This may not be helpful at all but here is a link I found with a number: Michigan Civil Service Commission. You also may be able to call the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services and get advice/help.4
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@mfowler883 How are you and your wife and Bentley doing? Is he urinating more frequently? Im sure you have discussed this with the vet but he could be holding his urine for various reasons. You could express his bladder but if hes holding it, that wont really help. I have taught owners in this situation how to catheterize their pets and its very easy (especially since hes a boy) but it can introduce infection so he will likely have to go on antibiotics, which can upset his stomach.
I love the pictures. My two derps keep locking themselves in the bathroom and when I hear the door banging sounds I go and see the door is closed and I open it and they walk out like nothing is weird but there are always toys involved.
We're...okay.
He urinates, just never at convenient times like when I'm helping him stay upright or when he's in his wheels. This morning, he pooped outside, then stood around sniffing the wind. I brought him in, parked him in front of the bottle and he drank his fill while I got breakfast and morning meds together for them. They got their meds, Harley inhaled his food and Bentley picked at his. Back in the wheels for a bit while we managed our own breakfast and got ready to face the day, still no pee. Set him down on his blanket on the floor and run off to get her to work, come back and the blanket and dog are sopping wet - already cold, so he must've done it almost as soon as I set him down. The blanket gets laundered and the dog gets bathed, poops in the tub, gets re-bathed and blow-dried (no heat duh) and we're off and running for the morning.
I've thought more than once about expressing his bladder. There were dogs at Dag's that needed it done, so I'm familiar, just really don't want to go there if I don't have to. Seeing what he does, how and when is just another metric for me to gauge where he's at and how he's doing. Eating and drinking, peeing and pooping, rest and activity levels, and so on. He is already on some pretty heavy antibiotics, so that would probably be a non-issue but I'm not inclined to catheterize unless it becomes absolutely necessary.
Last night was nice, he did both before bed, and slept through the night. He seems to be starting to wrap his head around the wheelchair, albeit slowly. I may need to look for some bigger casters to put up front, the little bitty ones it has get caught on every little bump. I've already tweaked the assembly some to make it work better for him.
Our derps have occasionally gotten themselves stuck on the wrong side of a door. One will occasionally wander into the closet unnoticed, and might not even protest right away when we turn the light off and close the door.
Man, your boss really needs a visit to the karmic baptismal font, just hold her under until the bubbles stop and...wait, no, that's a bit much. She needs her *kitten* kicked, though. What a mess. I know it seems like the path of least resistance is to somehow suck it up and stay there, but I dunno if that's the best thing. Anyway, I hope you arrive at some sort of option that works for you. Barbie has some pretty good advice, I think.
-m
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@joans1976 I am so sorry your boss (did I read this right) absolutely has no compassion? Please do try to focus on you. I have not experienced cancer but my mother did, 6 years cancer free now. I wish there was something I could say to ease your fears and apprehension. I love to read/listen to whatever you have on your mind.
AF last night and family dinner here at my house today. Complete with turkey, stuffing, gravy, mash, fresh rosemary bread, salad and brownie for dessert. Forgot to buy any wine so guess we will all be AF tonight...oops.
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I am in.
I am Dawn, I live in SE BC Canada
My ongoing goal remains, 16-20 AF days per month.
I had 17AF days for January (a long month)
I do this diary style to keep track, and I post the next morning
Wednesday Feb 15 - AF - Going out to a comedy show at a pub on Saturday night, so my plan is to stay AF Friday night so that I am not "puffy".
Thursday Feb 16 - AF - Today, Friday, will be a test for me, it is usually the day where I permit myself to have a few drinks.
Friday Feb 17 - 2 drinks, my intention had been AF. Not sure about tonight, going to a comedy show and then over to Blitzville. I will be AF for both since I am driving, but might have drinks later when I get home.
Rolling total: 10AF days out of 17 days. 50% AF won't cut it to reach my goal in 28 days (reminder to self)2 -
@Sinisterbarbie1 Thank you, I have been on cancertriage.org and cancerandcareers.org which have some links to free legal help. I ideally need and lawyer and like 5k....
Unfortunately I am not eligible for FMLA because the vet clinic only employs 28 people and needs to have 50 people to be eligible FMLA. I would have been all set if I had FMLA but I looked this up just about the same week I got diagnosed and realized it was too small of a company. I thought the ADA would have protected me but if your employer has to make accommodations (like a decreased work schedule) they can choose to make your work environment miserable until you quit.
As far as the radiation goes, I thought I would be able to meditate or listen to music but I have to pay attention since I am connected to a breathing apparatus that tracks my breathing that I can see on the VR goggles. I have to hold my breath for 28 seconds and that is when I am actively getting radiation. Then I am allowed to exhale. I have to listen for the tech to tell me when to take the breath and when to exhale. I have to do it this way so it doesnt radiate my lung fields. I was ready to kick *kitten* and then the work thing came along the night before I started. I am sure I will get more used to it as I have more sessions. Thank you so much for all your ideas and feedback, I plan to make some phone calls Monday.
@RockinRobyn672 Thanks! The MDHHS is on my list to to call Monday. I can actually look them up today online. Please post pictures of that little rescue kitten you are visiting! I cant remember if it is a he or a she but she must be getting big now!
@mfowler883 What you are dealing with with Bentley is really stressful. Im sure you realize this. Ugh the bathing and then him pooping while bathing him, Ive been there. You are really doing the most and doing quite extra, you are doing the more than 98% of pet owners would do. That is hard and a mental burden. Youve been through some stuff this year. I hope you have a good relationship with your veterinarian (theyre not all like my boss) and they will support you in your decisions and guide you when it is needed judgement free.
Thank you for your support everyone. I know everyone has their own *kitten* to deal with right now. I appreciate everyone taking time out to show me support. I slept and cried most of yesterday and today I am shakey and angry but I have glimmers of getting back to my normal/abnormal self. I am not going to let some narcissistic greedy *kitten* prevent me from beating cancer!9 -
February accountability: 8 days AF
Alcohol: 10 days (16 drinks)
Goal: Limit 2 glasses per day; 12-16 AF days this month.
2/17 - AF; long 5 hr drive at night to my mom’s
2/18 - 2 Gin & Tonic; poured 11 bottles of old bad wine down the drain and ditched the bottles without 1 glass of wine.5 -
10 days alcohol free. I am seeing some weight loss. Mainly because being AF I make better choices, wake up feeling better and no sugar crash in the middle of the night so sleeping better. No special events coming up. I anticipate the next week will be easier. Best to you all in hitting your goals.9
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Hey everyone, I’m Amanda. I live in Michigan and it is freezing and gray here but at least it’s staying light out past 5 pm now. ☀️
I joined this lovely thread in the summer of 2022 and it has made a huge difference in my life! I’ve gone from being 25% AF to 98% AF.
The people here are kind and real and smart and fun! Welcome to all newcomers!
2/1-2/7: 6 out of 7 AF
2/8-2/14: 7 out of 7 AF
2/14: AF
My weight is up 2 pounds from lack of logging but I’m really enjoying the mental break of not logging. Like many of you said, I know what I need to eat, I was eating the same few foods just in a rotation while losing. I’m still eating those foods and getting my 5 a day in but…chocolate.
Hugs all around, everyone is doing great things!
2/15: AF
Geez oh man, work is a real albatross this week! I’m trying to just plow through and get it done. And to remain AF while I do it. Yes. Must remain AF. While working and otherwise.
2/15 & 2/17 AF
Well, Narcissa strikes again. I’m behind on my work because no one covers for me while I’m out with doctors appointments, surgery, just getting cancer treatment in general. Keep in mind Narcissa doesn’t get back to clients for months whose pets have lymphoma, pancreatitis, kidney failure. I turned in my work excuse letter saying I needed and abbreviated work schedule due to getting radiation and she had one of her yes men come back and insult my intelligence, my work ethic and my financial situation. They are giving me 3 days to get all of my work done after it comes in which will be impossible to do while getting radiation.
She’s finally beat me. She knows she has set me up to fail. I haven’t signed anything or agreed to anything. I started radiation Friday and I screwed it all up because of my anxiety, I couldn’t do the breathing right. This is infuriating because this time should be about me and taking care of me. Instead I’m worried about health insurance and if I’ll have a full paycheck again.
I’m sorry for the rant about something non alcohol related. I had to get it out. I’m going to look for a new job today but it’s hard because I’m not sure of my reliability due to radiation. I’m stuck. I need a lawyer and like 5k to get me by.
14 days AF
2/18: AF
I am too upset to even think about drinking right now. I am relying heavily on my friend the orange pill. I plan to do some legal research this morning and some self care in the afternoon.6 -
@Lilylady3k Good job! There was no reason anyone needed to drink that wine!
@Sherbog 10 days! 🥳 So true all of those things you listed. My sleep used to be so messed up when drinking, even just 2 drinks.5 -
@Womona Radiation starts tomorrow bright and early at 7:45am and goes every weekday until March 13! I can do anything for 20 days, right?
You sure can! You’ve already been AF for longer, this is just a doctor’s appointment. You got this! Hey at least you have the weekends off.
Edit to add: Holy *kitten*, I just read your post about Narcissa and her henchmen. I am so terribly sorry to hear about what you’re going through with that psycho. She has no soul, no heart. She will fry in Hell for what a truly bad person she is.
Have you set up a Go Fund Me for the $$$ you need?5 -
So far I’ve kept to my goal of no more than two glasses on the weekend nights, and I feel great. I’m kind of over drinking for the weekend, so tonight I’ll kick off AF.
@mfowler883 poor Bentley. Poor you for having to bathe a dog and clean up poop at 3:00 AM!!!! I honestly don’t know who I feel worse for.
@MissMay woot woot to you for barely drinking in Vegas! I cannot believe it snowed out there! So much for a sunny getaway. Meanwhile I’m dying to ski and the weather is just not cooperating here in PA.4 -
2/1- 2/2- 2/3 -2/4 - A
2/5 - AF
2/6 - AF
2/7 - AF
2/8 - AF
2/9 - A - 2/10 - 2/11 -A
2/12 - AF
2/13 - A
2/14 - AF
2/15 - 2/16- 2/17- 2/18- A -- more A days this month so far but logging anyway to keep accountability going. Love this judgement-free space!
2/19 - AF4 -
@joans1976 thinking more about your situation… just don’t sign anything or agree to anything. I am not sure what a lawyer is going to do for you at this point if you are not protected by FMLA or ADA. Why would Narcissa have to agree to do anything? I don’t know how old you are but if you are over 40 and she fired you you would have a doubly-good claim of discrimination (over 40 for age) plus the cancer diagnoses. I would wait until then to find a lawyer, threaten to sue and settle for something tangible - money damages and then move on with my life a bit richer for the lousy experience. What would your damages be now? What would you get from her that you want now? I know it sounds terrible but unless these 5k lawyers have told you their plan I would be skeptical they can solve anything for you without a law to rely on.
I don’t know what the job market is where you live, but if it was so great and she felt like she was in the right and in a true position of power she would just go ahead and fire you instead of tormenting you. That she isn’t means that she knows that she has a terrible situation facing her if she does. Plus you would be better off being fired because you could collect unenmployment and access health insurance while looking for a new job. Do what you need to do for your health, try to ignore her - be passive aggressive if you need to — don’t worry about work. Let her stew and be her usual lovely self and ignore it. If she fires you may the wrath of the gods come back to bite her through a rabies infected pet. You’ll then find a lawyer and have a claim for discrimination due to cancer (and maybe age). Document everything she does. Keep emails. Log your time etc,
This is of course a hell of a lot to do when you are battling cancer so if you can afford to walk away by all means do so, but if you can’t rather than waste 5K on a lawyer now when all they can do for you is buy you more time with Narcissa and make her potentially behave worse to you because you have brought in outside forces, I would turn my anger at the world into action in documenting everything so I have what I need in case I ever need to use it and try to ignore her and ride it out until my treatments are done. Then look for a job (or a lawyer if you’ve been fired).
I realize this is easier said from a distance, so please don’t think i am discounting how difficult your situation is. I am trying to project how I personally could use my FU feelings and project all the anger and pain I feel at the world into productive action rather than action that could be expensive (and likely equally stressful) and doesn’t have a real achievement at the end unless getting her to say she will let you have a few hours off for 20 day of treatment is all you want. (It may even take you that long to accomplish getting the concession from her, and I wouldn’t believe her if she agreed to it without a law that you can rely on to enforce the agreement with if she renegs. You’d just have a breach of contract claim in court, which again would cost money to enforce, and you’d have to prove damages.)
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February accountability:
AF - 11 days
A - 7 days
Goal: No more than 2 drinks total each day
Will get outside this morning and see friends for a coffee then work in then backyard gardens. Going to be 68 degrees today!
I have no celebrations coming up so planning for mostly AF days this week.
This group is so helpful and I appreciate you wonderful people!
@Sherbog - great statistics for February! I agree with all the positives that go along with AF days.
Kudos on seeing the scale move. I just read in MFP how to count alcohol as a fat and carbohydrate if someone is counting calories and macros which I am. Funny I haven’t considered the extra sugar from A but sure will now. And, the munching that happens afterwards!
@joans1976 - thinking of you today and the challenges with your work and Bentley right now. I wonder if you might find guided meditations for recovery helpful on some quieter afternoons. I personally feel it can calm the nervous system to help with all the
stress we can experience in life. I found it so helpful when I had surgery twice.
@Lilylady3k - our stats our similar. Way to go on accountability and throwing away bad wine.
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I am in.
I am Dawn, I live in SE BC Canada
My ongoing goal remains, 16-20 AF days per month.
I had 17AF days for January (a long month)
I do this diary style to keep track, and I post the next morning
Wednesday Feb 15 - AF - Going out to a comedy show at a pub on Saturday night, so my plan is to stay AF Friday night so that I am not "puffy".
Thursday Feb 16 - AF - Today, Friday, will be a test for me, it is usually the day where I permit myself to have a few drinks.
Friday Feb 17 - 2 drinks, my intention had been AF. Not sure about tonight, going to a comedy show and then over to Blitzville. I will be AF for both since I am driving, but might have drinks later when I get home.
Saturday Feb 18 - 2 drinks late at night. Planned AF for Sunday.
Rolling total: 10AF days out of 18 days. 50% AF won't cut it to reach my goal in 28 days (reminder to self)3 -
I don't remember the last time I posted, I think it was last Saturday. I have been AF all week (except last night) due to a stomach bug. Feeling much better yesterday.
So far for Feb I am 12 AF/18, not counting today yet, don't plan to have anything tonight but, just in case I change my mind.
@Michieb125 you had asked how people decided on how many AF day for their goals. For Jan I just used 16 as a starting point, just because it's more than 50% of the month.
For Feb, I kept the same number of days but since it's a shorter month, the percentage is higher. For March I have not decided yet if I will increase my goal but probably will increase to 17 or 18 AF days as a goal.
I also really need to start paying attention to the number of drinks I have. I had 3 beers last night and probably would have had more if there were any more in the house. I think it was @Stockholm_Andy who has said that abstinence is easier than moderation. I am starting to think this too! Beautiful dog, by the way.
@joans1976 I have been following your saga. I have not been in your situation exactly but I do know what it is like to be a the mercy of your employer. I know this is difficult but remember, everything is temporary!
I just want to say, I love reading all of your posts and feel a real sense of community here. Thanks to all for sharing!
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