Where am I going wrong?

bex1086

cmriverside wrote: »

If you're trying on clothes and people are "pulling faces" in some kind of way? I'd not spend any more time around those people.

Well to be fair I asked for their opinion and they have a point, I look chunky and my c section shelf sticks out.

AnnPT77

bex1086 wrote: »

claireychn074 wrote: »

bex1086 wrote: »

I've been weight lifting on and off since 2020 and after Christmas I started following the Madcow programme. I had to decrease my weights because due to an injury I had some time off.

At the minute my max 5x5 for squat is 50, same with deadlifts, my bench is 22, row is about 25. These are feeling really heavy and I feel like I'll struggle to progress soon and I don't know why.

For reference I'm 5'1, weigh 55kg and am eating 1550 calories on average a day which is about 300 under maintenance.

I'm far from skinny, if anything I'm a bit chunky and quite flabby so I don't know why I'm struggling so much. I'm a bit frustrated because not only am I incredibly weak it's also not helping me look any better so I'm in no man's land at the minute.

To be fair I was eating quite a lot up until recently, haven't lost any weight since Christmas although I haven't really gained either which is surprised considering I was probably eating 3000 calories a day!

I need to knuckle down and stick to my calories and I'll keep up the training but how do I get better? I'm probably the weakest person in my gym which isn't a gym for athletes, there are people of all ages.

First, take a long deep breath and look at what you have achieved so far. You’re lifting (great!), you’ve seen progress (great!), you’ve started to work out your calories (great!), and you are obviously determined to get stronger and better at lifting (awesome!). No that’s not patronising, but I think you might have lost sight of what you have already achieved. And comparison is the thief of joy - I used to lift in a powerlifting gym with a UK record holder. She was tiny but lifted stupid weights - it was difficult not to feel inferior.

Now let’s look at your aims. Getting stronger on a deficit is hard (but not impossible), physically and mentally. It’s why some of us choose recomp, where we eat roughly at maintenance and try to build muscle - it takes a long time but it does work. So you’re cutting calories for aesthetic reasons but you’re stressing your body by lifting heavy - it’s not surprising your lifts are not going up as you want. You may find that eating at maintenance for a while then cutting for a while is “easier” on your body ie there’s a good chance the weight you can lift will shoot up with proper nutrition. I may be a bit of an outlier in calorie terms, but I lift 4x per week, I’m 5’3, c54.5kgs and I eat between 2100-2300 to maintain. If I eat less than 2100 I don’t have the energy to lift and my recovery is slow.

I lost weight whilst lifting but then personally had to increase calories to improve the amount I could lift. I’m not very strong but I still work hard at it. I would also note that in the right lighting and when flexing I look ripped. In normal lighting I look like an average middle aged stocky short woman, with a lot of wobbly bits. Are you also being unkind to yourself, and maybe you aren’t as flabby as you think?

Lifting is a long game, and it sounds to me like you’ve made a pretty good start!

My main hang ups r.e. the way I look is my post 2 section pouch. It's been almost 6 years since the last one and despite trying my hardest I absolutely can not shift it. I have a shelf that sticks out just above where they cut me open and it makes me very self conscious in clothes.

I'm also not in proportion, tiny waist, small shoulders and upper half but big hips and chunky thighs and a bum that sticks out for miles. The thing that baffles me is that people have said they wish they had my figure but I absolutely hate it!

I'm tracking my calories for a 6 week period and will see what I weigh at the end of it and adjust as necessary. I keep saying once I'm at goal weight I'll eat at maintenance but my goal weight keeps getting lower and lower so it never actually happens 🙄

This is a speculative question, but how is your posture?

There are some postural habits common these days that can make the belly area look more prominent. Examples are anterior pelvic tilt (basically the top of hip bone being forward of the lower edge, when they should be stacked), the head-forward rounded-shoulders posture many of us get from phone/keyboard use (a rude name for it is "nerd neck"), or a tendency to lock the knees in a way that pushes midsection forward. These are not things a person can fix by just being conscious of them necessarily, but there are relevant exercises to help improve them.

Any chance something like that is contributing?

P.S. I looked at your MFP profile photo. If that's you, and relatively recent, I think you're being super hard on yourself, really very self-critical FWIW. We all have things we want to improve, but your description of yourself in words sounds much more extreme than that photo looks to me.

bex1086

AnnPT77 wrote: »

bex1086 wrote: »

claireychn074 wrote: »

bex1086 wrote: »

I've been weight lifting on and off since 2020 and after Christmas I started following the Madcow programme. I had to decrease my weights because due to an injury I had some time off.

At the minute my max 5x5 for squat is 50, same with deadlifts, my bench is 22, row is about 25. These are feeling really heavy and I feel like I'll struggle to progress soon and I don't know why.

For reference I'm 5'1, weigh 55kg and am eating 1550 calories on average a day which is about 300 under maintenance.

I'm far from skinny, if anything I'm a bit chunky and quite flabby so I don't know why I'm struggling so much. I'm a bit frustrated because not only am I incredibly weak it's also not helping me look any better so I'm in no man's land at the minute.

To be fair I was eating quite a lot up until recently, haven't lost any weight since Christmas although I haven't really gained either which is surprised considering I was probably eating 3000 calories a day!

I need to knuckle down and stick to my calories and I'll keep up the training but how do I get better? I'm probably the weakest person in my gym which isn't a gym for athletes, there are people of all ages.

First, take a long deep breath and look at what you have achieved so far. You’re lifting (great!), you’ve seen progress (great!), you’ve started to work out your calories (great!), and you are obviously determined to get stronger and better at lifting (awesome!). No that’s not patronising, but I think you might have lost sight of what you have already achieved. And comparison is the thief of joy - I used to lift in a powerlifting gym with a UK record holder. She was tiny but lifted stupid weights - it was difficult not to feel inferior.

Now let’s look at your aims. Getting stronger on a deficit is hard (but not impossible), physically and mentally. It’s why some of us choose recomp, where we eat roughly at maintenance and try to build muscle - it takes a long time but it does work. So you’re cutting calories for aesthetic reasons but you’re stressing your body by lifting heavy - it’s not surprising your lifts are not going up as you want. You may find that eating at maintenance for a while then cutting for a while is “easier” on your body ie there’s a good chance the weight you can lift will shoot up with proper nutrition. I may be a bit of an outlier in calorie terms, but I lift 4x per week, I’m 5’3, c54.5kgs and I eat between 2100-2300 to maintain. If I eat less than 2100 I don’t have the energy to lift and my recovery is slow.

I lost weight whilst lifting but then personally had to increase calories to improve the amount I could lift. I’m not very strong but I still work hard at it. I would also note that in the right lighting and when flexing I look ripped. In normal lighting I look like an average middle aged stocky short woman, with a lot of wobbly bits. Are you also being unkind to yourself, and maybe you aren’t as flabby as you think?

Lifting is a long game, and it sounds to me like you’ve made a pretty good start!

My main hang ups r.e. the way I look is my post 2 section pouch. It's been almost 6 years since the last one and despite trying my hardest I absolutely can not shift it. I have a shelf that sticks out just above where they cut me open and it makes me very self conscious in clothes.

I'm also not in proportion, tiny waist, small shoulders and upper half but big hips and chunky thighs and a bum that sticks out for miles. The thing that baffles me is that people have said they wish they had my figure but I absolutely hate it!

I'm tracking my calories for a 6 week period and will see what I weigh at the end of it and adjust as necessary. I keep saying once I'm at goal weight I'll eat at maintenance but my goal weight keeps getting lower and lower so it never actually happens 🙄

This is a speculative question, but how is your posture?

There are some postural habits common these days that can make the belly area look more prominent. Examples are anterior pelvic tilt (basically the top of hip bone being forward of the lower edge, when they should be stacked), the head-forward rounded-shoulders posture many of us get from phone/keyboard use (a rude name for it is "nerd neck"), or a tendency to lock the knees in a way that pushes midsection forward. These are not things a person can fix by just being conscious of them necessarily, but there are relevant exercises to help improve them.

Any chance something like that is contributing?

P.S. I looked at your MFP profile photo. If that's you, and relatively recent, I think you're being super hard on yourself, really very self-critical FWIW. We all have things we want to improve, but your description of yourself in words sounds much more extreme than that photo looks to me.

Posture does definitely play a part, when I'm stood naturally my stomach looks bigger than it does if I make an effort to stand up straight.

Depending on what photo you mean, the orange dress one was taken the other day. I sent it to someone who basically said I was too chunky to wear it because of my bum and my tummy.

If it's the other one that was taken back in October when I was a little bit heavier.

AnnPT77

bex1086 wrote: »

AnnPT77 wrote: »

bex1086 wrote: »

claireychn074 wrote: »

bex1086 wrote: »

I've been weight lifting on and off since 2020 and after Christmas I started following the Madcow programme. I had to decrease my weights because due to an injury I had some time off.

At the minute my max 5x5 for squat is 50, same with deadlifts, my bench is 22, row is about 25. These are feeling really heavy and I feel like I'll struggle to progress soon and I don't know why.

For reference I'm 5'1, weigh 55kg and am eating 1550 calories on average a day which is about 300 under maintenance.

I'm far from skinny, if anything I'm a bit chunky and quite flabby so I don't know why I'm struggling so much. I'm a bit frustrated because not only am I incredibly weak it's also not helping me look any better so I'm in no man's land at the minute.

To be fair I was eating quite a lot up until recently, haven't lost any weight since Christmas although I haven't really gained either which is surprised considering I was probably eating 3000 calories a day!

I need to knuckle down and stick to my calories and I'll keep up the training but how do I get better? I'm probably the weakest person in my gym which isn't a gym for athletes, there are people of all ages.

First, take a long deep breath and look at what you have achieved so far. You’re lifting (great!), you’ve seen progress (great!), you’ve started to work out your calories (great!), and you are obviously determined to get stronger and better at lifting (awesome!). No that’s not patronising, but I think you might have lost sight of what you have already achieved. And comparison is the thief of joy - I used to lift in a powerlifting gym with a UK record holder. She was tiny but lifted stupid weights - it was difficult not to feel inferior.

Now let’s look at your aims. Getting stronger on a deficit is hard (but not impossible), physically and mentally. It’s why some of us choose recomp, where we eat roughly at maintenance and try to build muscle - it takes a long time but it does work. So you’re cutting calories for aesthetic reasons but you’re stressing your body by lifting heavy - it’s not surprising your lifts are not going up as you want. You may find that eating at maintenance for a while then cutting for a while is “easier” on your body ie there’s a good chance the weight you can lift will shoot up with proper nutrition. I may be a bit of an outlier in calorie terms, but I lift 4x per week, I’m 5’3, c54.5kgs and I eat between 2100-2300 to maintain. If I eat less than 2100 I don’t have the energy to lift and my recovery is slow.

I lost weight whilst lifting but then personally had to increase calories to improve the amount I could lift. I’m not very strong but I still work hard at it. I would also note that in the right lighting and when flexing I look ripped. In normal lighting I look like an average middle aged stocky short woman, with a lot of wobbly bits. Are you also being unkind to yourself, and maybe you aren’t as flabby as you think?

Lifting is a long game, and it sounds to me like you’ve made a pretty good start!

My main hang ups r.e. the way I look is my post 2 section pouch. It's been almost 6 years since the last one and despite trying my hardest I absolutely can not shift it. I have a shelf that sticks out just above where they cut me open and it makes me very self conscious in clothes.

I'm also not in proportion, tiny waist, small shoulders and upper half but big hips and chunky thighs and a bum that sticks out for miles. The thing that baffles me is that people have said they wish they had my figure but I absolutely hate it!

I'm tracking my calories for a 6 week period and will see what I weigh at the end of it and adjust as necessary. I keep saying once I'm at goal weight I'll eat at maintenance but my goal weight keeps getting lower and lower so it never actually happens 🙄

This is a speculative question, but how is your posture?

There are some postural habits common these days that can make the belly area look more prominent. Examples are anterior pelvic tilt (basically the top of hip bone being forward of the lower edge, when they should be stacked), the head-forward rounded-shoulders posture many of us get from phone/keyboard use (a rude name for it is "nerd neck"), or a tendency to lock the knees in a way that pushes midsection forward. These are not things a person can fix by just being conscious of them necessarily, but there are relevant exercises to help improve them.

Any chance something like that is contributing?

P.S. I looked at your MFP profile photo. If that's you, and relatively recent, I think you're being super hard on yourself, really very self-critical FWIW. We all have things we want to improve, but your description of yourself in words sounds much more extreme than that photo looks to me.

Posture does definitely play a part, when I'm stood naturally my stomach looks bigger than it does if I make an effort to stand up straight.

Depending on what photo you mean, the orange dress one was taken the other day. I sent it to someone who basically said I was too chunky to wear it because of my bum and my tummy.

If it's the other one that was taken back in October when I was a little bit heavier.

It was the orange dress. I looked at the photo as I was writing that reply.

You may be able to get some benefits from posture work. Analyze what changes when you "stand up straight", and look for exercises to make that posture more automatic. Some of the "Bob & Brad" physical therapist videos on YouTube may have exercise suggestions if you can self-diagnose . . . they may even have something to help you do the diagnosis step, not sure.

Sinisterbarbie1

I am a big fan of Pilates - especially if you can afford to take some reformer classes (that is the device with the springs and carriage that you lie or stand on and move back and forth by contracting and releasing your muscles). The exercises are great for lengthening/stretching and posture, and they use your body weight resistance in combination with the load of different strength springs which you add and remove to adjust tension to make the exercises more or less difficult, so they also build muscle - though differently than weight lifting. I always feel at least an inch taller after a session and with a good coach you will develop all sorts of tiny little muscles in places you never knew they existed that help you stand and walk straighter and push the right curvy bits out and pull the others in.
As for the dress - you will look great if YOU like the dress and how it fits. Seeking the approval and reassurance of others is a waste of time regardless of what they say because you are the one who has to feel great to look great. And if someone is constantly putting you down it is about them, not about you. Wear the orange dress and leave them green with envy.

34blast

Highly suggest you buy the book Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe. Even if you don't follow his program, he is the master at the main lifts and form

Mad Cow is an intermediate program, you lifts are not intermediate level. It will work but not as efficiently as a novice linear progression program


The book I pointed out will give good guideance on gaining strength, which after the basic novice phase will require gaining muscle e.g. weight