WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2023
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Tracey,
I feel your anguish.
Your supervisor is getting away with bullying, as you said. I don’t know how carefully you are documenting, but if you really don’t want to leave the job, and have enough energy left to do it, an attorney could help you.
I’m sure you have already thought of that and there may be reasons why that wouldn’t work for you.
I am curious if all the people who are leaving are having exit interviews with HR (not your supervisor). If so, then there is a systemic problem, it would seem, because all of those people telling the same tale to HR should have had an impact by now.
Do you have EAP (Employee Assistance Program) or something similar? It helped me with a difficult subordinate - it became clear to me through EAP resources that my subordinate was privileged and had a VP buddy, and that it really was in my best interests to transfer to another position within the company. I was fortunate that I could resolve the issue in that way, though, and know that may not be an option for you.
We are rooting for you. What a loss for your company if you leave...
Karen in Virginia7 -
Tracey - So sorry. I know that sense of dread. As do thousands of others. You are not alone. My younger son left an excellent job for the very same reason. That's how he ended up in Brighton! The same thing happened to my elder son. He never went back to 'work', and now does other things. He is happy now. As a teacher, I had difficult students who set out to make my life a misery. I was so relieved to find out later that others had been even worse affected than me! I thought I was the only victim. No! We have multiple cases in the media right now where public figures are being called out for just such behaviour. It is rife in politics, everywhere. Rife in marriages. It is its own kind of hell.
I'm so glad you can tell us about it. These people rely on silence and shame to enable their despicable ways.
Good for you for taking steps to help yourself. You know deep down what is best for you. You are an amazing woman with so many gifts.
Best of luck. Love you. XOXO.
Heather UK xxxxxxxx, who did go back to sleep eventually!
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27. Find a fun exercise to do while waiting for the kettle to boil (or pan of water.) – practice “Homesick”
Machka “…But I'd probably have to go scatter myself ...” neat trick
Rosemarie, ah yes, that makes sense. Hope they are not too far and will visit often.
Flea “…every one is loved…” thanks for the reminder, and for the update. Keeping you and yours in prayer.
Michele narrowing of the spinal column? Wasn’t that what Joe Montana had? His was repaired with surgery.
Lisa brava for the elliptical progress.
Heather love the flower paintings, fingers X’d Johnny continues to improve and you get some restful sleep.
Annie how did your telehealth appointment go?
Tracey having your BP spike so much sounds like it’s time for medical leave. Hope your MD sees it that way and or the labor board can offer tangible help. My heart breaks for you, you are in a tough spot.
Karen and Heather thanks for yours to Tracey. Well said!
Gorgeous day, 70 degrees, warm breeze, relished a little time outside.
TMI whineReally weary of being “stove up”. Tuesday the 18th was the most recent healthy relief, since then it’s been digging out dribs and drabs. H20, fiber, prunes, ginger, exercise, twisting, massage struggle to make it bearable. Could hemorrhoid pain be halting the process? Gonna try a little lidocaine.Sorry about that. Time to snooze.04/27: Move: 2 sets PT w/x&a, dogs to powerline, ½ hr picking up sticks, Jeopardy walking. steps:7710.
Fuel: plants running count for week so far 23+9+3+1+9+1 avocado, beans-kidney, beets, blueberries, broccoli, cantaloupe, carrots, celery, cucumber, ginger-beer/candied/snap, granola, honeydew, hummus, juices-beet/carrot/celery/lettuce/parsley/spinach/tomato/watercress, juice/pineapple, mushrooms, olives-almond, onion, orange, peanut brittle, pecans, pepperoncini, pineapple, popcorn, potato chips, prune, radish, romaine, snap peas, sweet peppers-orange/red/yellow, tea, tomato sauce, turmeric, walnuts, watermelon, wheat-fettuccine/pizza. CI=1292
Live: Joe, readings, BP,. Wt: 134.3
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
2023: Be of good cheer. April: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.
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Good morning ladies
Tracey- So sorry this is happening to you,alas it happened to me to at the dental office I had worked there 14 yrs until this Dr came along and upset the apple cart and was just horrible to the people who got paid the most but,had that place running like a top,and the patients were happy..That all changed .. elderly patients he was demanding money up front and making us make sure we knew exactly how much insurance would cover and get the money from patient before starting anything..
That wasn't how it was done before and it bristled alot of people.
And I would be coming home stressed ang going to work stressed just like you.
I think he was part of the heart issues I had..
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ACTIVE APRIL1. Commit to being more active this month starting today. Yes!
2. Spend as much time as possible outdoors today. Yes!
3. Listen to your body and be grateful for what it can do. Yes! I can garden, which requires all sorts of body motion, and cycle.
4. Eat healthy and natural food today and drinks lots of water. Yes! Ate my usual food and drank lots of water up till about 8 pm. We won't talk about what happened after that.
5. Turn a regular activity into a playful game today. Hmmm ... Walking around the shops? Climbing stairs?
6. Do a body-scan meditation and really notice how your body feels. Achy.
7. Get natural light early in the day. Dim the lights in the evening.
There isn't much light early in the day here. Plus I was sleeping then. Plus it was cloudy, drizzly and rainy all day.
But I do dim the lights in the evening. It's one of many steps I take to wind down in the evenings to prepare myself for the night.
8. give your body a boost by laughing or making someone laugh
I rarely laugh. Most things don't strike me funny.
Lots of things amuse me, but not enough for laughter.
9. Turn your housework or chores into a fun form of exercise
I often do, but as today's work involved sitting at 2 computers, I walked on the treadmill during a break instead.
10. Have a day with less screen time and more movement
Unfortunately, today was another day sitting at 2 computers.
But I did go downstairs to row and lift weights.
Hoping the rain will let up soon!!! It's been 4 days already!
11. Set yourself an exercise goal or sign up to an activity challenge
One of my more favourite areas!!
We aim to cycle at least one 50 km ride each month and have been doing that for a while. At our AGM at the end of March, we got a bag full of these each.
We will have to see when we can fit our April ride in ... the 5 days off over Easter would have been good but it rained and rained and was cold and windy. Snow at higher elevations.
Maybe next weekend ... we'll see.
AND ... one of the bigger running events moved their event to September which is fantastic for me. Originally, it was this month, but I was nowhere near ready to even sign up for the 5K. Now I've got the winter to get in shape.
Also, now that I'm working back in the same building I was in about 16 months ago, with many of the same people, we've started our stair climbing challenge again. We are easing into it this month because of Easter and ANZAC Day but we'll be ready to be much more consistent in May.
The stair climbing challenge is exciting because when I'm busy climbing 20+ flights of 20 stairs each day I am at work, I lose weight.
12. Move as much as possible, even if you’re stuck inside
Absolutely! I climbed stairs.
13. Make sleep a priority and go to bed in good time
I do when I have to work the next day ... make sure I get at least 7 hours of sleep.
But I am not keen on that. I'm a night owl and like to get things done late at night. Having to be in bed by 11:45 pm is a bit uncomfortably early.
14. Relax your body & mind with yoga, tai chi or meditation.
Gardening ... will gardening do?
15. Get active by singing today (even if you think you can’t sing)
I sing every day. My husband is very polite about it.
16. Go exploring around your local area and notice new things
I've spent 5 years on our island.
I've done a lot of local exploring!
I think exploring locally is a great idea and some people don't do enough of it. However, I'm getting more and more restless to go somewhere else as the weeks go by.
17. Be active outside. Dig up weeds or plant some seeds
I usually do this on the weekend when there's daylight.
However, I occasionally do some weeding in the pitch dark when I walk Rhody right after work.
18. Try a new online exercise, activity or dance class.
Hmmmmmmm ... not that keen on online exercise, aside from Zwift.
However, I have started a stair climbing challenge at work, and we keep track of it on an Excel spreadsheet.
19. Spend less time sitting today. Get up and move more often.
Walking in the morning and evening as part of my commute.
Walking at lunch.
Climbing stairs.
Walking back and forth to the kitchen and toilet.
Walking with Rhody after work.
20. Focus on eating ‘a rainbow of multi-colored vegetables today.
As always.
21. Regularly pause to stretch and breathe during the day.
Does huffing and puffing up and down 20 flights of stairs count?
22. Enjoy moving to your favorite music. Really go for it.
I always enjoy my music, but I don't necessarily move to it.
23. Go out and do an errand for a loved one or neighbor.
Not on the 23rd (Sunday) but today.
24. Get active in nature. Feed the birds or go wild-life spotting.
Walking ... and watching the pigeons.
25. Have a ‘no screens’ night and take time to recharge yourself.
Tuesday was ANZAC Day ... so I didn't spend as much time in front of my computer. I was out in the garden for quite a while, then we went cycling.
26. Take an extra break in your day and walk outside for 15 minutes
Wednesday, I was back at work. But I did a longish (over an hour) walk to the Botanical Gardens and back to work.
27. Find a fun exercise to do while waiting for the kettle to boil (or pan of water.)
Thursday ... today. More climbing stairs.
28. Meet a friend outside for a walk and a chat.
Does cycling with my husband count?29. Become an activist for a cause you really believe in
30. Make time to run, swim, dance, cycle or stretch today
Machka in Oz1 -
LisaInArkansas wrote: »Flea - Actually, you're walking into your interview in the best possible way. The Principle of Least Interest says that the person or group with the least interest in maintaining a relationship has the most power. It's quite seldom that we're handed that kind of power in this life, so enjoy it. I loved what you said - that everyone is loved. It's comforting.
Love,
Lisa in AR
Yes, absolutely!
The interviews I've been in during the past 16 months have been like that and it's been amazing!
You feel so much freer in the interview.
@OregonMother - be sure to ask lots of questions during the interview.
Places like it when interviewees ask lots of questions, and it's something a lot of people forget. But you're in the position to be able to ask deep questions about the work, the projects on offer, the work environment, etc. and even cheeky questions about the benefits of working for that organisation in that position.
Machka in Oz3 -
Tracey-your boss sounds most difficult and unreasonable. You need to continue to explore other options. I do hold people accountable and I am sure it stresses some of them, but I work really hard at making it reasonable demands (like if tell one person to do something, don't blame it not being done on another person you delegated job to). I also try to never have a reprimand take place in front of others. Try to find a way to take care of yourself while you look for other employment.
Heather-I may have missed it-has Johnnie's dizziness improved?
Karen-I am envying you your lifestyle. Your activities are a motivational factor for me!
Latest health junk:Expect an update from doctor today. Lab work shows me returning more to the thyroid suppression level (closer to where I should be). Tumor marker did go up .2 but that is definite slow down. What that basically means is there is thyroid cancer somewhere (most likely in lungs) and it's just hanging out. Since the marker is currently at 24.4 and many people in my on line thyroid groups have it at 2,000 or 3,000 and are functioning well, I have a ways to go. So I am expecting with Doctor call we will keep everything as is, get new CT scans in July with more bloodwork. I am feeling better with suppression level returning to closer to where it should be. Also thing the construction project may be getting on track for completion this fall-would like to be in new place in late fall (like November). I continue to plan.
Vacation day today. Taking car to dealer (about 20 minutes away). A couple of people are meeting me there and we are going to nearby casino for a couple of hours while it is being worked on. Then home in the afternoon and work on the weekend tasks. Will stop at grocery on way home and get that out of the way. I do have a small preseasoned pork loin out I will make when I get home.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio5 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »I haven’t had the mental energy at the end of the day this week. Once again my boss showed up and put me down.
My coworker, I am training as a backup was sitting there and she said she had never heard someone be so condescending towards a staff member.
I have a doctors appointment next week, I’m also going to cal the labor board. I can’t do this anymore, I just need to take care of myself, my BP is higher in the evenings, I’m having nightmares, I’m sick to my stomach at the thoughts of going to work and as I pull in the parking lot it is worse, but add in a feeling of dread.
I took the H&S module of Harassment and bullying last week, the suggestions they tell you to take if you are being bullied by a supervisor is to go to another manager or supervisor. The problem is, that everyone reports to her and she makes all decisions, managers opinions don’t matter.
She tells them how to deal with a situation and if they don’t they get targeted.
I found out this week that her and the Board Chair/president are good friends and visit with one another too.
I am heartbroken to leave a job I enjoy because she gets away with this.
I’ll catch up on the weekend.
Tracey
I hope you can get some help.1 -
Machka “…But I'd probably have to go scatter myself ...” neat trick
Rosemarie, ah yes, that makes sense. Hope they are not too far and will visit often.
Flea “…every one is loved…” thanks for the reminder, and for the update. Keeping you and yours in prayer.
Gorgeous day, 70 degrees, warm breeze, relished a little time outside.
TMI whineReally weary of being “stove up”. Tuesday the 18th was the most recent healthy relief, since then it’s been digging out dribs and drabs. H20, fiber, prunes, ginger, exercise, twisting, massage struggle to make it bearable. Could hemorrhoid pain be halting the process? Gonna try a little lidocaine.
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
Chewable Vit C
Lots of fruit and veg
A bag of salted almonds
Cream
Walking long distances briskly
Stopping all pain and congestion medications
And then, if that hasn't worked, off to the chemist to find something there to get things going.
M in Oz
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Good Morning,
Watched "Where the Crawdads Sing" last night (while doing work stuffs) It was really good. Got laundry done except for sheets which is today. Mopped kitchen floor.
Tracey Hugs! I "feel" you! My DH and his sister need to figure out what's next for us. They really need to have an exit plan for within the next 5 years. That is when we will all be eligible for health care at 65. I just don't know if we can sustain that long. Mechanics are really hard to come by and ours aren't getting any younger.
Paperwork to do. Have a BLESSED day! You are all so inspiring to me!
Kylia in rainy Ohio but the birds are singing3 -
Ginny - It all sounds as if things are good enough for you to keep living your life with expectation of a future to be enjoyed.
Yes, DH is feeling much better. Doctor Heather is convinced it is linked to his visual cortex. He has balance problems always lurking in the shadows, but this is twice that excessive concentration on close up work has resulted in vertigo. He felt nauseous in the pottery painting café and then again this time. He barely lifted his eyes from the page for hours. I'm sure that set something off in his brain. Doctor Heather says, set an alarm to take physical and visual breaks every ten minutes. Make sure you look into the distance.
I may be wrong, but I wouldn't be surprised.
I am pleased with myself for managing to locate the guanciale I want for our anniversary meal. A new shop has opened in Hove, for Sardinian and Italian food, so I rang them this morning. Yes! They also stock the pecorino needed for an authentic spaghetti carbonara. Yes!
Our first course, to replicate the meal we had the day we met, is chicken caesar salad.
Our meeting anniversary is the same day as the coronation. and the same day as Max's 12th birthday.
Our street is having a street party on the Sunday. Boo! We won't be going and we hope it isn't too noisy.
Avgolemono for lunch. Stock from the Easter chicken. Yummo!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx5 -
Friday -- one of my regular Fridays off (9-day fortnight)
Up early (8 am) on a day off ... this doesn't happen very often.
But it was for a good cause ... a bicycle ride!
We did one of our monthly 50 kilometre bicycle rides. We went early to avoid the traffic and to try to get it in before the wind became really strong. The traffic wasn't bad, but the wind was strong!
At about 11:40 am, the wind was blowing NW at 37 km/h (23 mph) gusting to 72 km/h (45 mph) and it didn't get any better.
In some directions, it was great! In others, it wasn't.
We struggled a bit and were slower than usual, but we made it!
Distance: 51.12 km
Moving Time: 2:53:25
Elapsed Time: 3:15:47
Elevation: 202 m
Speed: Avg: 17.7 km/h | Max: 44.2 km/h
Heart Rate: Avg: 139 bpm | Max: 167 bpm
Calories: 714
Got the ol' ticker going!
Then we stopped by our son and daughter-in-law's place to drop something off, and I got to play with our grand-daughter while daughter-in-law made dinner for them.
Machka in Oz
8 -
Having an "off" morning in regards to my mood. I haven't been sleeping well, and woke up after having a dream about visiting my childhood home. It was a visit, I have never had. Visiting after my parents passed and walking from room to room, looking for something. I am sure you know what that feeling is. That feeling where you are looking for mom/dad/home. Like a ghost, just moving from room to room; place to place in your mind. Reaching out and back into memory for comfort; but not finding it. Ugh! Little bit of a weep this morning. I hope my own children don't go through this, but I think it is an inevitability. We all want what/who we have lost. Sometimes.
It is Superhero day today for my childcare kids. They will be coming in full costume and will pull me out of this mood, as they always do. lol time to pull up my big girl underoos and have a great day.
My DYS will be flying home tonight, from his Utah hiking trip. The pictures have been wonderful. He has had a few glitches this trip, but took care of them and had a good time.
Sending peace, comfort, and love to all of you who are dealing with health issues or difficult work situations. Love you all and am always thankful for all of the wisdom I glean from you ladies! ttfn xoxoxo KJ (kelly)9 -
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So lighter at end of April! Gained 3.5 # in March. Have list 3.2# in April! Yay! Didn't log gain so will log again when I lose .5 more.
Funny thing is I have been eating better and more. Craziness!5 -
KJ HUGS!
Machka Inspiring!0 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »Ginny - It all sounds as if things are good enough for you to keep living your life with expectation of a future to be enjoyed.
Yes, DH is feeling much better. Doctor Heather is convinced it is linked to his visual cortex. He has balance problems always lurking in the shadows, but this is twice that excessive concentration on close up work has resulted in vertigo. He felt nauseous in the pottery painting café and then again this time. He barely lifted his eyes from the page for hours. I'm sure that set something off in his brain. Doctor Heather says, set an alarm to take physical and visual breaks every ten minutes. Make sure you look into the distance.
I may be wrong, but I wouldn't be surprised.
I am pleased with myself for managing to locate the guanciale I want for our anniversary meal. A new shop has opened in Hove, for Sardinian and Italian food, so I rang them this morning. Yes! They also stock the pecorino needed for an authentic spaghetti carbonara. Yes!
Our first course, to replicate the meal we had the day we met, is chicken caesar salad.
Our meeting anniversary is the same day as the coronation. and the same day as Max's 12th birthday.
Our street is having a street party on the Sunday. Boo! We won't be going and we hope it isn't too noisy.
Avgolemono for lunch. Stock from the Easter chicken. Yummo!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
Yummy lunch. I am making stock from chicken bones and pork rib bones. Maybe I’ll try making Avgolemono with some of it.
___
Ginny,
I’ve noticed you seem to be emotionally ready to retire.
I hope you can do it soon.
I’m really lucky to have the opportunity to choose from so many interesting retirement activities, and I look forward to hearing about your experience once you pull the plug on working. It’s such a relief for me, far greater than I expected. I was past ready. I remember reading Barbie’s comments about "just knowing" when it was time, but I didn’t think it would be that clear to me. It was.
I would not have moved to a retirement community this soon, but my spouse needed to.
Now I’m so glad we did. I’ve seen how difficult moving is for people 10-15 years older - I mean, it was no picnic for us, but it really takes a toll the older one gets. So I’m glad we moved before I needed to, if that makes sense. So glad our kids will be spared all that mess. We prefer to take care of our own needs and not leave it to our busy grown children. Sometimes that simply isn’t possible, so we are fortunate.
Later, I’m going to look into volunteering as a NICU granny, too, but not until my own tiny grandchildren are older. Also wanting to learn to play Mah Jongg and Bridge. And maybe some kind of participation in music of some kind (singing or banjo maybe - I have a smattering of piano, brass instruments, stringed instruments, and voice, but don’t excel at any of them. I’m OK in a chorus, but for sure not solo material). And I want to find a male dancing partner to do Carolina Shag.
If you haven’t already done it, I recommend getting on some waiting lists of places you might like to live. We are still on 2 lists (other than where we currently live) and will remain on those lists for at least another year, just in case we want to move somewhere else. End-of-life care at these 3 facilities is something I am still exploring, & harder to learn about because it’s hidden away - no glossy brochures or cheerful tours of skilled nursing and/or memory care. I want to be sure we are at the best place to both live and die, if there is one such facility. Right now it seems to me we are at the best place to live, but I think there is another facility (Westminster Canterbury) that may be the best place to die.
_____
Rainy day today - loving it.
I am going to check on my pottery project in a bit, then go to aqua classes, ZOOM with my Nebraska friends at 11am, and (if the rain lets up) dig & pot some baby fig trees with my friend Santa.
I see a nap in my future this afternoon.
Karen in Virginia
5 -
Good morning ladies!
Barbara my appointment was okay, thanks for asking. We just do it on a phone call if there are technical problems.
KJ I used to have recurring dreams about being at college with no housing and wandering around looking for a corner to sleep in. Disconcerting.
Heather we are glad DH is better.
Tracey many hugs to you as you sort this out. One thing my father did to remove himself from the drama is mentally switch to being a temporary employee. Pretending he was temporary made it much more tolerable.
Michele glad you have DH's MRI results. Hope he can move forward to some relief.
Lisa, you too. Surgery is a scary thing, but we all hope you can move forward to some relief.
Ginny glad you are feeling okay. I didn't know thyroid cancer would spread like that. Hope it stays dormant.
Kylia glad your heart is doing better without meds.
Annie in Delaware
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I was delighted & amazed when I visited DH last evening. He’s doing dramatically better. He is out of the wheelchair and walking! It was a very happy day for me. ❤️ 😊 ❤️ 😊 ❤️
Katla15 -
Tracey hugs and thinking of you.
Lisa glad you have two days to relax and wonderful you may have found a health advocate in the system.
I'm reading everyday but just here and don't have much to share. I'm a bit miserable because since my appt with the ophthalmologist, I am not taking any decongestants or antihistamines... or OTC pain aids .. I'm trying to bring the ocular pressure down and about everything can raise eye pressure (even coffee but I'm still drinking one cup a day). With arthritis and allergies the days are a challenge. Next exam will be 5/31. I'm glad the spring weather seems to have arrived and it's a pleasure to be outside working in the yard and walking...
Betsy in NW WA9
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