WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2023

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  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,447 Member
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    okiewoman510 wrote: »
    When my neighbors husband was ill/dying, they had family coming in. She was very stressed about getting things cleaned up as she was spending most of her time at the hospital. I went over and stripped all the beds, started laundry at their house and mine, and remade the beds. Washed all the towels and cleaned the bathrooms. The cat had gotten accidentally locked in the pantry and had bags and cans everywhere. Fortunately, I love to organize so I went to town and organized the pantry. Two other neighbors came over then and I left them to sweep and mop the floors and dust. We all cooked a few things to load the fridge up. When she got home that night she said she sat down and cried because her
    house smelled good and was clean.

    Okie in the TX Hill Country

    Oh how sweet and thoughtful! See you would've been there for me. We can't pick and choose our family. I never ask anything of her now, and so she doesn't feel pressured. I don't get my heart broken because mentally and physically, she doesn't show up for me. Realities of life.
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,536 Member
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    173173
  • OregonMother
    OregonMother Posts: 1,559 Member
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    Hugs to you Kim. You have been incredibly strong through this. I'm glad the chapter is over.

    Continue to take care of yourself.

    Flea
    Willamette Valley, OR
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,048 Member
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    Mary I agree it might be time to list your property again. I am surprised she didn't take better care of the property if she was renting with the option to buy. If she cannot swing it let her father make you an offer you can either accept or counter offer. You are not legally obligated to give him her deal. The contract is with her not him. Prices have gone up in the past few years around here. I am not sure what they did in cabin country. Even with the change in interest rates prices have not come down that much here in Twin Cities. Considering how difficult they have been, it might be best to find new buyers. You need to make the best deal for you. Not sure about that $8000 dollars depends how the contract was written up. Earnest money is not too far off from $8000 today. It protects you as a seller. You could have kept your property on the market to make a sale. Her deal kept you from doing this. Do you have a lawyer or realtor to help you get this resolved?
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,039 Member
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    Good evening ladies!

    Kim, you made it through! Excellent! Now you can relax a bit.

    My old laptop would go dark as soon as I logged in. So it can't be backed up unless I can fix that.

    Today I ate 1343 calories. Still too high for me. I broke down and ate evening snacks. I know better! I did my exercise, rode my bike twenty minutes, did an hour of yoga and thirty minutes of aerobic walking. Yay! And it came out to a deficit of 238. Good enough.

    Annie in Delaware
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 2,944 Member
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    Kim, I am so happy to hear your mom has healed enough to go home and you have survived! I understand there were times you didn't know how you would.
    I sure wish dh would speak up to his mom and not continue to let her bully him. 6/10 will be one year since her fall and he is still over there at least twice a day for well over an hour or close to two hours each time. At least he isn't there 24/7 like he was the first 5-6 months, what ever it was.
    She no longer physically needs him there twice a day but she wants him there, serve her meals, do the chores she is more than capable of doing. If it only affected him I would say- hey, he is a grown man at almost 60 yrs old. He needs to put his foot down or just deal with it and shut up about it. Problem is that he brings the stress/bitterness/anger home. Every single thing revolves around him and him being at his mom's.
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,109 Member
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    Ginny and Margaret thanks for the input. We do have a realtor that will do the paperwork for her and her dad since they are our clients not theirs due to their listing it. In fact we haven’t signed an agreement yet. I agree that if she can’t buy it on her own then the dad will be in the same pool as other interested buyers but we only pay the $2,500 realtor fee for the dad. We priced our house very competitively with the 4 other properties that are similar to ours. The main difference is that we have a cabin that is rented and has solid rental history and a tiny house with a building site that has water and electricity already put in. The only downside is the interest rates are high.

    💕Mary from Minnesota/Arizona
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,109 Member
    edited May 2023
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    Tracey it’s a tough decision. It goes on the market tomorrow. She needs to get prequalified and so would her dad. She’s aware of the timeline. Our realtor is going to talk to her tomorrow. She really wanted it before and so did her dad. But, this is only one year not three years like we were expecting to have it back on the market. If she had not violated almost all the terms of the lease, in fact the only one she didn’t violate is being behind on rent. And if she did the caretaking jobs we wouldn’t be putting it on the market we would still be renting it to her. We definitely don’t want to put up with renters like her anymore. If she doesn’t want to purchase it she has to leave June 30th.

    Dreams are weird sometimes!

    💕Mary from Minnesota/Arizona
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 2,818 Member
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    <3
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,536 Member
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    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    I’m putting this in a spoiler because there is swearing. I don’t want to offend anyone.
    kdsbnumqtm9n.jpeg

    Tracey

    Lolol, that’s everyday language for me. It’s not swearing
  • auntiebk
    auntiebk Posts: 2,485 Member
    edited May 2023
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    30. Share a quote you find inspiring to give others a boost.
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    e4zf45pp90eo.jpg

    Long beach stroll with T, dogs to powerline, laundry and fernwhacking wiped me out. Had to postpone zoomchat with C and take a nap instead. Dogs semi woke me barking at the neighbor’s shooting off his guns. Lapsed back into sleep, dreamt of danger, Joe going out to calm the dogs and confront the army truck that drove up our drive. SMH. Then somehow morphed into a dream about stuffing my face with the popcorn I’d intended to nosh on during zoomchat. Woke up feeling full :laugh:
    Allie ((hugs)) love and prayers, and great idea about Family services.
    Annie even if you don’t go back to your book as it was, it could be useful to have in reserve. Can you move/copy it to your new laptop? Can you boot your laptop to an external device and access the files that way? Or login as administrator? Maybe something in your user profile got corrupted.
    Carla ((hugs)) for the bittersweet anniversaries. I’d be disappointed/angry/hurt if Joe went fishing on our anniversary, especially if it was so close to a sad day.
    Kylia :love: the pics, can see family resemblance with your brother.
    Rita watering your plants absolutely counts ;)
    Debbie Destiny’s prom pic brought tears.
    Tina good to see your smiling face.
    Kim how hurtful of your mom. ((hugs)) Brava for fitting in more exercise, stretches, veggies. Bravissima for doing the things you wanted to. Hope they brought some joy. You are right, it will take months to recover. Give yourself time. Cheering for you!
    Okie what a good neighbor you are. Inspiring!
    Margaret “…do you have a lawyer…” good question to Mary. Sounds like it’s time for a real estate lawyer to be involved.
    Mary realtors are not lawyers and may not be equipped to give you all the protections you need when dealing with this tenant.
    Tracey praying your NS cousin is safe and her/his home is untouched by the fires. Yes please ask your massage therapist. Numbness says nerve involvement to me. The meme made me laugh out loud :naughty:
    05/29: Move: 2 sets PT w/x&a, Whaleshead beach stroll w/T, dogs to powerline, fernwhacking. steps:9684
    Fuel: plants running count for week so far: 11=acv, almonds, avocado, beans-chili, grapefruit, maraschino cherry, pecans, peppers-sweet/yellow, romaine, tea-black, wheat-Snap’d crackers/tortilla. CI=1445 CO=583
    Live: Joe, readings, BP, two loads laundry, AF. Wt: 135.4
    Later, lighter, lovelies!
    Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD x8zcp1ya37k1.gif
    2023: Be of good cheer. May: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,200 Member
    edited May 2023
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    Kim - Ooouuuffff!!!! What a journey! Sending the biggest hugs.
    I think there are different friends for different occasions. Some are practical, some are a listening ear, and others are good time gals. Horses for courses. :p I was of no practical use at all for my friend L when she lost her partner, and had a hip operation, but I was able to listen to her crying down the phone and I know it was a help to her.
    People can only give from the resources they have inside them. I have learnt not even to expect DH to be able to always show up in ways I would like. Some things he just can't emotionally do. Others he is super good at. For others he needs reminding! I think it's good to have a range of friends and not to expect everything from the same person. Why not go out on the town with your avoidant friend! Like in a movie. :p

    I hope you get a chance to draw breath and recuperate before some other demand comes up. I agree with Tracey's meme. All we can change is our response to crisis and suffering.
    Much, much love, Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,411 Member
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    <3
  • evie1958
    evie1958 Posts: 848 Member
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    Well, had a good post going, hit a wrong button and deleted the whole thing. :'( And it's late so I'm not going to repeat most of it! lol
    Rori and Heather, so nice that the two of you were able to meet up! Lovely photos!
    Kim, I'm glad that you have your life back and that you and your sister are speaking once again. Unfortunate about your friend and her lack of empathy.
    Life goes on in my little world. Hugs to those who need them, congrats to those celebrating and welcome to the newbies!
    Evelyn, Vancouver Island
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,853 Member
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    okiewoman510 wrote: »
    When my neighbors husband was ill/dying, they had family coming in. She was very stressed about getting things cleaned up as she was spending most of her time at the hospital. I went over and stripped all the beds, started laundry at their house and mine, and remade the beds. Washed all the towels and cleaned the bathrooms. The cat had gotten accidentally locked in the pantry and had bags and cans everywhere. Fortunately, I love to organize so I went to town and organized the pantry. Two other neighbors came over then and I left them to sweep and mop the floors and dust. We all cooked a few things to load the fridge up. When she got home that night she said she sat down and cried because her
    house smelled good and was clean.

    Okie in the TX Hill Country

    I would have loved for someone to have done that for me when my husband was in hospital.

    Or even now!

    M in Oz

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