Grief weight gain

WandaVaughn

I was doing pretty good maintaining until Daddy died on March 26. I started eating. And eating. Ice cream, cookies, anything sweet. I knew it was all bad for me, but I figured it was better than picking up alcohol to dull the pain.

Anyway, I finally made myself step on the scales this morning. I've got work to do. It feels like an uphill climb because it's been 5 years since I took all the weight off. I'm older and sadder. But I also know that if I did it before, I can do it again. I just have to find that stubborn streak I inherited from my Daddy and use it for good.

I signed up for a 10K on 5/29. Hopefully I'll survive it.

Anybody have words of wisdom for me?

CalisthenicsTraining

Sorry to hear of your loss. Exercise a little more and eat a little less. Log your food and try to not go over the calories suggested. Training for a 10k sounds like a great idea.

AnnPT77

Sympathies!

The basic mechanics of loss are pretty straightforward, as per above. The psychology of it can potentially be more challenging, and it's also very individual.

I like your idea of channeling your dad: That's similar to some things I did to work through grief. (Example: When I made my race plan for my first rowing machine race - yep, that's a thing - the actual written-down theme for the final sprint portion was "channel Ken". Ken was my late husband, much more athletic than I ever was. I'd gotten more active post-widowhood to recover from my own cancer treatment.)

Does your history suggest that eating is one of your stress responses in other ways? If so, it may be worth working on finding some other outlets you can draw on. (If the underlying problem isn't nutritional needs or fueling, the best answer isn't food, right?) Exercise can be that for some people, but there are other possibilities (journaling, meditation or prayer, aromatherapy bubblebaths, calming music, art or needlework (or other crafts that are absorbing) . . . ). It doesn't hurt to have multiple practiced options in your toolkit that you can draw on, and then when the impulse to self-soothe with food comes on, you can choose what sounds best as an alternative.

Have you been running regularly before? I have to admit, 10K in a month sounds quite ambitious (though I'm not a runner ). I hope there's a training plan in play, because I know they can help expedite the progress. (I've used rowing training plans for exactly that reason.)

Wishing you excellent outcomes!

WandaVaughn

AnnPT77 wrote: »

Sympathies!

If so, it may be worth working on finding some other outlets you can draw on.
Have you been running regularly before?

Good point.

I love to fish from our little boat because water is my "happy place". Unfortunately I have to depend on my husband's days off to do that. I've been thinking about investing in a small kayak so that I can enjoy waterscapes on my own.

I was a runner in the past... I ran a half marathon on my 50th birthday, after losing lots of weight and training for it. I ran pretty regularly until last year when it was sporadic, at best. This year I think I've run twice. I've fallen into a very sedentary life, the path of least resistance. I need to face the hart things again.

AnnPT77

WandaVaughn wrote: »

AnnPT77 wrote: »

Sympathies!

If so, it may be worth working on finding some other outlets you can draw on.
Have you been running regularly before?

Good point.

I love to fish from our little boat because water is my "happy place". Unfortunately I have to depend on my husband's days off to do that. I've been thinking about investing in a small kayak so that I can enjoy waterscapes on my own.

I was a runner in the past... I ran a half marathon on my 50th birthday, after losing lots of weight and training for it. I ran pretty regularly until last year when it was sporadic, at best. This year I think I've run twice. I've fallen into a very sedentary life, the path of least resistance. I need to face the hart things again.

On water is my happy place, too, though mostly rowing these days. (Those skinny boats like in the Olympics, except mine is slow. The rowing machine thing is my inadequate Winter substitute, to stay in shape for the next season.) I've canoed a lot, kayaked a bit, over the years. All good stuff!

I don't know where you are, but some of those little flat-water plastic kayaks get pretty cheap here in end of year sales. They can be fun, in the right water conditions. Consider the weight/configuration of any boat you buy, so you can load it up and take it someplace by yourself. It's pretty do-able.

Good luck with your 10k training!

WandaVaughn

Just an update. I ran 3 miles on the 2nd and another 3 miles today, the 4th. I am "training" not "trying". Somebody pointed out the difference to me the other day, and I will remember this.

Sylebration

No real words of wisdom but I understand what you're going through. I lost my dad on March 6. It's really hard, isn't it? But, I find strength knowing he'd want me to be happy and healthy. It's what he always use to say so that's what I'm trying to do, live every day for both of us. Like you said, that stubbornness comes from your Dad, let it drive you. You can do this! ❤️