How much more should I lose?

herringboxes
herringboxes Posts: 259 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I’ve lost roughly 25 pounds and reached my original goal. But at 128 pounds / 58 kg (5’ 5”) I still have plenty of fat on my stomach and thighs. I’m a 46 year old mom.

I just started a beginner weights program. I’m sure it will help things but it won’t make the remaining fat disappear. Do I look like I’ve got about 10 pounds to go?

I’m perfectly happy continuing my current calorie deficit, which is averaging three quarters of a pound a week. I’m a little worried about the pressure I will get to stop losing weight from folks who I haven’t seen in a while. So I thought I’d get some less biased opinions.

r7acc39wlyao.jpeg

Below is a side shot where I am lightly sucking in the old gut, as if I were poolside but not trying to kill myself.
bidmqkljmbho.jpeg

Below is no gut suckage.
44relvf1vlu2.jpeg

Replies

  • tomcustombuilder
    tomcustombuilder Posts: 2,247 Member
    edited May 2023
    The question is how are you feeling and is losing more worth it in the big picture of what it takes to be leaner? You look fine now so will losing more improve your life? If you want to continue then lose 5 and re access your goals at that point.
  • sollyn23l2
    sollyn23l2 Posts: 1,784 Member
    Nobody else can really answer that question except you. Can you lose 10 more pounds? According the BMI chart, yes you hypothetically could and still be in the "normal" range. Would it improve your appearance... that's highly subjective. Depends on the look you're going for. Is it going to change your shape? No. Will it get rid of the gut you're talking about? Almost certainly not. At your weight, most of that is internal organs. It'll always be there. I say this b/c you appear to carry most your fat in your breasts hips, and thighs... which many women would consider a good thing.
  • Retroguy2000
    Retroguy2000 Posts: 1,867 Member
    edited May 2023
    Congrats on your progress. You're at a healthy weight and you look good. Sure, you could lose a few more pounds if you wanted to, but you don't need to.

    I agree with Tom, aim for 5 pounds and assess from there. I'd suggest lowering your target deficit to produce 0.5 pounds per week, and focus on that weights program you've started. Your working sets should be challenging, i.e. not 10 reps of something you could easily do 20 reps for, like some at the gym phoning it in. It should be progressive. 10-12 sets per muscle group per week. Get about 100g-120g protein daily.

    With some more muscle definition and a handful of pounds lost, you'll probably love the result.

    As for being worried about what people IRL may say, *kitten* 'em. You're clearly executing a good plan in a healthy way.
  • herringboxes
    herringboxes Posts: 259 Member
    Thanks for the feedback. Pretty scary to post pics lol.

    Tom, I feel good physically. Also, losing more will not be a struggle, if I decide to lose more.

    Sollyn, you’ve touched on the heart of the matter. The gut. All through my childhood and adolescence I was told how fat my stomach was, that I looked pregnant (I was skinny as a kid). When I was a young adult I lost weight but though I went to 107 I still had the gut. So I have these weird feelings about it.

    I was hoping I could figure out how to not have a big gut but I don’t really know what’s wrong. I do obviously have excess fat still but I think I could lose it and still look the same. I feel kind of bummed about it but I guess it’s time to just deal with it. There’s more important stuff than having a bikini bod.

    Retro, thanks for the congrats! (I will not be receiving any irl lol so I appreciate that). I will take your advice, maybe slowly pull off another 5 pounds but just really work on the weights.

    I’m not afraid to go hard on them but as a beginner, I’m still working on form. If I try to really push it, my form goes to hell (and there’s probably a lot to critique even as it is). I hope this will be resolved as I continue.

    I am excited, though, as I definitely have already gotten benefits.
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 10,261 Member
    You want to change your bodies composition to where your weight is represented with more lean mass while staying around the same weight, which would effectively remove most of the fat around your middle which is your stomach, gluts and thighs, makes sense.

    That's probably a 2-5 year journey in my opinion and done with more focus on protein mainly and quality protein if your omnivore, at least a lot more than you've probably ever eaten before, and a well planed exercise routine and I would suggest getting a trainer for at least the first 3 to 6 months if you can afford one, and a trainer that hopefully also understands nutrition. Short answer. cheers.
  • tomcustombuilder
    tomcustombuilder Posts: 2,247 Member
    herringboxes wrote: »
    Thanks for the feedback. Pretty scary to post pics lol.

    Tom, I feel good physically. Also, losing more will not be a struggle, if I decide to lose more.

    Sollyn, you’ve touched on the heart of the matter. The gut. All through my childhood and adolescence I was told how fat my stomach was, that I looked pregnant (I was skinny as a kid). When I was a young adult I lost weight but though I went to 107 I still had the gut. So I have these weird feelings about it.

    I was hoping I could figure out how to not have a big gut but I don’t really know what’s wrong. I do obviously have excess fat still but I think I could lose it and still look the same. I feel kind of bummed about it but I guess it’s time to just deal with it. There’s more important stuff than having a bikini bod.

    Retro, thanks for the congrats! (I will not be receiving any irl lol so I appreciate that). I will take your advice, maybe slowly pull off another 5 pounds but just really work on the weights.

    I’m not afraid to go hard on them but as a beginner, I’m still working on form. If I try to really push it, my form goes to hell (and there’s probably a lot to critique even as it is). I hope this will be resolved as I continue.

    I am excited, though, as I definitely have already gotten benefits.
    then keep going just understand that once you lose to where you’re happy with the results you have to be careful of rebounding. It’s easy to go back to previous eating habits.

    As you lean out every pound lost becomes more visual and it gets harder to keep losing but it sounds like you have good momentum

  • ddsb1111
    ddsb1111 Posts: 885 Member
    edited May 2023
    @herringboxes You look great! Congrats on reaching your goal. I don’t have much to add except to let you know something I didn’t know when I started working out with a trainer and it shocked me. I immediately went up in weight about 3 lbs. I brought it up to my trainers and they couldn’t give me a reason for it and thought I was just eating more. Turns out when you’re new to working out and lifting it’s common to gain a little weight as your body recovers from the workout. They say as your body gets used to working out it will even out, though mine never did. I still retain water and have those 3 lbs, but at least I know why and that it’s nothing to worry about. Hopefully someone can elaborate more eloquently than I did as to why your weight goes up when you start to workout.

    On the plus side, my clothes look so much better in just 30 days so that helps me focus on my goal of looking/feeling better than what number I am on a scale.
  • herringboxes
    herringboxes Posts: 259 Member
    Neanderthin, thanks. I surely am not getting enough protein. I’ll be away for some weeks but at some point I should be able to increase my protein.

    Tom, maybe I’m kidding myself, but I don’t think I’m going to rebound. I’m at what I consider my “usual” weight now, and I was nothing but steady and sensible losing it. The extra weight I had before was a lot about something else, and while it’s not gone, I have put down a lot of that burden and I’m not picking it up again.

    Claire, thank you so much. I did see your thread, and I’m still looking through the other one.

    I’m not a vain person but I do feel some damage in this area. My mother’s frequent comments growing up made it clear I was doing something wrong, but I could never find a solution. I am still confused about what is real because I never see women who look like me. But I don’t exactly wear a bikini so I guess they don’t either (my pic above is in a bikini I bought 20 years ago on impulse, just hoping I guess, but has definitely never seen the light of day lol).

    ddsb, thanks for the congrats and for the heads up. Fortunately, I’m not too stuck on the scale number, just my big stomach.
  • herringboxes
    herringboxes Posts: 259 Member
    Oh also, Retro, I was thinking more on the “go hard” thing and my reply about form.

    I think I am uneven with my muscle competence. I’ve always been comfortable using my upper body. But my core and lower body are quite weak.

    So I think that when I am doing a compound movement, muscles A and B are fine and could go harder, while muscles C and D are struggling. As a result, I lose form early but don’t feel completely toasted at the end of a workout. I feel like I could go harder and yet if I do it’s a mess.

    My hope is that muscles C and D will catch up over time and then I can really push it. Does that seem reasonable or am I likely off track?

    I have seen gains in my short time working, so I am hoping things will just come together. I look forward to feeling wrecked in a good way.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    edited May 2023
    neanderthin wrote: »
    You want to change your bodies composition to where your weight is represented with more lean mass while staying around the same weight, which would effectively remove most of the fat around your middle which is your stomach, gluts and thighs, makes sense.

    That's probably a 2-5 year journey in my opinion and done with more focus on protein mainly and quality protein if your omnivore, at least a lot more than you've probably ever eaten before, and a well planed exercise routine and I would suggest getting a trainer for at least the first 3 to 6 months if you can afford one, and a trainer that hopefully also understands nutrition. Short answer. cheers.

    Pretty much this^^^. You look good and relatively lean and I would imagine all of your health markers reflect that as well...and at this point you would seem to be seeking more advanced aesthetic goals which simply losing more weight will not achieve.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,598 Member
    herringboxes wrote: »
    Thanks for the feedback. Pretty scary to post pics lol.

    Tom, I feel good physically. Also, losing more will not be a struggle, if I decide to lose more.

    Sollyn, you’ve touched on the heart of the matter. The gut. All through my childhood and adolescence I was told how fat my stomach was, that I looked pregnant (I was skinny as a kid). When I was a young adult I lost weight but though I went to 107 I still had the gut. So I have these weird feelings about it.

    I was hoping I could figure out how to not have a big gut but I don’t really know what’s wrong. I do obviously have excess fat still but I think I could lose it and still look the same. I feel kind of bummed about it but I guess it’s time to just deal with it. There’s more important stuff than having a bikini bod.

    Retro, thanks for the congrats! (I will not be receiving any irl lol so I appreciate that). I will take your advice, maybe slowly pull off another 5 pounds but just really work on the weights.

    I’m not afraid to go hard on them but as a beginner, I’m still working on form. If I try to really push it, my form goes to hell (and there’s probably a lot to critique even as it is). I hope this will be resolved as I continue.

    I am excited, though, as I definitely have already gotten benefits.

    Can I be honest? I think that criticized kid is still living in your head, coloring your self-perceptions.

    Looking at your photos, I'm not seeing "big gut". I'm seeing a perfectly normal woman with quite a nice figure, who looks good in that bating suit - probably most average women would be envious. You have a bit of the abdominal swell that the biblical Song of Solomon (7:2) poetically admired: "Thy belly is like an heap of wheat Set about with lilies."

    I think you've looked at that uterus thread, seen that others, including some quite lean women, have more swell just because of their individual anatomical characteristics. In contrast, many of the photoshopped so-called "fitness influencers" who have what look like perfectly flat bellies are mostly cheating with lighting, posing, professional photographers, and even photoshop.

    If you want to lose a few more pounds, sure, go for it (very slowly!). I agree with others that strength training will do more for you aesthetically for today's beauty norms than losing lots more weight, even though it will require time and patience. They're spread out a bit in the thread, but you can see some folks' progress pics in this thread from that kind of strategy:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10177803/recomposition-maintaining-weight-while-losing-fat/p1

    What I can't tell from your photos is whether there may be some postural issues that could change things visually for you. Oversimplifying, there are two (maybe 3) common things that can increase prominence of whatever central mass (fat or organs) we do have.

    They are:
    * The chin-forward, rounded-shoulders thing called kyphotic posture (not kyphosis, which is structural) or more rudely "nerd neck", which many of us have from spending a lot of time with keyboards, screens, and cell phones.
    * Anterior pelvic tilt, carrying the pelvis so the top of the pelvic bones are forward of the lower edge of the pelvic bones. This is commoner in women in these days of big booty admiration because it makes that body part more prominent, but it's also a thing that even small high heels on shoes will encourage to occur, for sure while the shoes are on, and sometimes as a habit even without them.
    * Locking out the knees, which creates some of the same effect as the pelvic tilt, but the pelvis isn't tilted.

    Without a full from-the-side photo, and one that has your full head in the frame, it's hard to tell if those are an issue for you. I'm not asking you to post more pictures, but those are things you can look up on the web, look at yourself in the mirror, see if they apply to some extent.

    Any of those can tend to push central mass (everything, fat, skin, organs) forward and downward, so that the abdominal area becomes more prominent, sort of squished out between the lower ribs and lower pelvis.

    Repeating: I think you look fine. But I'm hearing that you don't see yourself that way. I included the above about posture because it applies to some people, but I have no conviction that it applies to you, i.e., just in case.
    ddsb1111 wrote: »
    @herringboxes You look great! Congrats on reaching your goal. I don’t have much to add except to let you know something I didn’t know when I started working out with a trainer and it shocked me. I immediately went up in weight about 3 lbs. I brought it up to my trainers and they couldn’t give me a reason for it and thought I was just eating more. Turns out when you’re new to working out and lifting it’s common to gain a little weight as your body recovers from the workout. They say as your body gets used to working out it will even out, though mine never did. I still retain water and have those 3 lbs, but at least I know why and that it’s nothing to worry about. Hopefully someone can elaborate more eloquently than I did as to why your weight goes up when you start to workout.

    On the plus side, my clothes look so much better in just 30 days so that helps me focus on my goal of looking/feeling better than what number I am on a scale.

    It's water retention your body requires for muscle repair. More about water retention and body weight here:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10683010/the-weird-and-highly-annoying-world-of-scale-fluctuations/p1

    Especially read the article linked in the first post of the thread.

    Like you, @ddsb1111, when I start progressive strength training regularly, I gain a couple of pounds of scale weight, and hold onto those pounds until I stop progressive training regularly. If I'm actively losing, eventually the fat loss stops playing peek-a-boo on the scale with that water weight, and scale loss resumes again. Some people see the water retention cycle on and off even during continued regular progressive strength training. Bodies are weird.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    ddsb1111 wrote: »
    @herringboxes You look great! Congrats on reaching your goal. I don’t have much to add except to let you know something I didn’t know when I started working out with a trainer and it shocked me. I immediately went up in weight about 3 lbs. I brought it up to my trainers and they couldn’t give me a reason for it and thought I was just eating more. Turns out when you’re new to working out and lifting it’s common to gain a little weight as your body recovers from the workout. They say as your body gets used to working out it will even out, though mine never did. I still retain water and have those 3 lbs, but at least I know why and that it’s nothing to worry about. Hopefully someone can elaborate more eloquently than I did as to why your weight goes up when you start to workout.

    On the plus side, my clothes look so much better in just 30 days so that helps me focus on my goal of looking/feeling better than what number I am on a scale.

    If you're working out, your muscles will always retain water...when you workout you tear down muscle (you essentially injure yourself) which causes inflation just like any other injury. That water retention aids in repair...so if you're consistently working out, it will always be there.
  • ddsb1111
    ddsb1111 Posts: 885 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    ddsb1111 wrote: »
    @herringboxes You look great! Congrats on reaching your goal. I don’t have much to add except to let you know something I didn’t know when I started working out with a trainer and it shocked me. I immediately went up in weight about 3 lbs. I brought it up to my trainers and they couldn’t give me a reason for it and thought I was just eating more. Turns out when you’re new to working out and lifting it’s common to gain a little weight as your body recovers from the workout. They say as your body gets used to working out it will even out, though mine never did. I still retain water and have those 3 lbs, but at least I know why and that it’s nothing to worry about. Hopefully someone can elaborate more eloquently than I did as to why your weight goes up when you start to workout.

    On the plus side, my clothes look so much better in just 30 days so that helps me focus on my goal of looking/feeling better than what number I am on a scale.

    If you're working out, your muscles will always retain water...when you workout you tear down muscle (you essentially injure yourself) which causes inflation just like any other injury. That water retention aids in repair...so if you're consistently working out, it will always be there.

    Thanks to you and Anne for explaining more thoroughly. Fortunately the OP isn’t concerned but I certainly was, especially because my trainer had no explanation >side eye<. Glad I didn’t reduce calories more to offset that necessary water weight.
  • Retroguy2000
    Retroguy2000 Posts: 1,867 Member
    herringboxes wrote: »
    So I think that when I am doing a compound movement, muscles A and B are fine and could go harder, while muscles C and D are struggling. As a result, I lose form early but don’t feel completely toasted at the end of a workout. I feel like I could go harder and yet if I do it’s a mess.
    Can you go into more specifics?

    It is important when doing compound moves to not be limited by secondary muscles, otherwise you aren't getting the full benefit. Perhaps you need to move that exercise earlier in the workout, before the secondary muscles get tired. Or perhaps you need more rest time between sets.
  • herringboxes
    herringboxes Posts: 259 Member
    Wolfman, thanks, I’m definitely raring to go on the recomp.

    Ann, thanks for that very detailed response. Absolutely, the kid in my head is speaking up and very confused right now. I will look at the thread you lined and also into the postural stuff you mentioned, who knows, could be a factor.

    Claire, fist bump. My mom is great but yeah, she really messed up in that department and it’s sad for both of us. I actually got off easy compared to what she got from her own mom.

    Retro, agreed that secondary muscles need to keep up, I’m HOPING that this initial difficulty will just iron out naturally.

    I don’t know if bicep curls are compound or not (guessing not) but while I will impress noone doing them, I can just go all out and know I pushed it, while still keeping form, elbows tucked, avoiding momentum. And feel it later.

    Overhead press, my arms can lift more than my back - no form issues, though. Have been slowly increasing load but being careful to not hurt my back. I had another thread on Fitness about that, but so far going good but not at the point of feeling like I gave it my all yet.

    Squats, I’m a mess. Absolute disaster. Thing is, a month ago I could not do “a” squat. Unweighted. So in this time I can now do squats with a light load, but my form is not great because I’m doing something I apparently have avoided for decades. So it’s simultaneously hard for me while also not feeling that great “I just wrecked that” feeling I can do on, say, a curl.

    Sorry for the long answer. I think I’m just a total n00b and should be better at some point.

    BUT!!! I’m leaving for five weeks and will have no weights. Damn! But I will be working on bodyweight stuff - squats, modified pushups, crunches etc. Hopefully will be able to hit the ground running.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,598 Member
    herringboxes wrote: »
    Oh, and I had ordered a bathing suit on clearance and it arrived today. The higher waistband should hide most of my gut. I’m excited to wear this, 46 years old and first time I will ever wear a two piece bathing suit in public - in two weeks. Because I have lost my very last eff and I will not be looking for it.

    woxqkiae3dvh.jpeg

    You. Look. Fabulous . . . in that very pretty, colorful suit. You should be confident, because you look great.
  • Retroguy2000
    Retroguy2000 Posts: 1,867 Member
    edited May 2023
    herringboxes wrote: »
    Squats, I’m a mess. Absolute disaster. Thing is, a month ago I could not do “a” squat. Unweighted. So in this time I can now do squats with a light load, but my form is not great because I’m doing something I apparently have avoided for decades. So it’s simultaneously hard for me while also not feeling that great “I just wrecked that” feeling I can do on, say, a curl.
    Things like biceps curls feel so good to do because they're so easy. Compounds are where you're going to get the most overall benefit though, so the following or equivalent: squat, deadlift, bench press, row, overhead press.

    It's vital you get the form right on squats, so you're wise to start light. You can also sub in for now a goblet squat with a dumbbell. You should definitely feel it if you're doing enough reps close enough to failure, for several sets.

    As a beginner, you don't need to go to failure btw, you should aim for about 2 reps in reserve. 10-15 reps is good, but it doesn't really matter, you can build about the same amount of muscle with any rep range 8+.

    The hard part is knowing what 2 RIR means in practice, e.g. you may do 10 reps and feel like you could have managed 12 at most, but in fact maybe you could do 18. In that case, if your target rep range is 10-15 then your effort is too light.

    10-12 sets per week per muscle group (focus being the compounds mentioned) with about 2 RIR should be your goal, progressively moving up in reps and/or weight and/or other forms of intensity (time under tension, etc.) You can add reps each week or each workout if you can, until you're at the top of your rep range, then increase the weight and you'll be at the low end of your rep range. Rinse repeat.

    Btw, nice suit. Your stomach which was already a non-issue, is even less so with that strategic choice.
  • sollyn23l2
    sollyn23l2 Posts: 1,784 Member
    herringboxes wrote: »
    Oh, and I had ordered a bathing suit on clearance and it arrived today. The higher waistband should hide most of my gut. I’m excited to wear this, 46 years old and first time I will ever wear a two piece bathing suit in public - in two weeks. Because I have lost my very last eff and I will not be looking for it.

    woxqkiae3dvh.jpeg

    You do look fantastic. Enjoy it!!!
  • herringboxes
    herringboxes Posts: 259 Member
    Ann and Sollyn, thank you so much for the encouragement!

    Retro, that was quite helpful. I knew this but had not connected the dots, feel like a moron. But today I pushed on reps and that’s where I can make progress until I can increase weight. For example, I did 40% more reps on OHP today - no wonder I felt like I still had more in the tank. So I ended up feeling like I Gigachaded it. Sort of.

    Thanks again everybody!
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,598 Member
    herringboxes wrote: »
    Ann and Sollyn, thank you so much for the encouragement!

    Retro, that was quite helpful. I knew this but had not connected the dots, feel like a moron. But today I pushed on reps and that’s where I can make progress until I can increase weight. For example, I did 40% more reps on OHP today - no wonder I felt like I still had more in the tank. So I ended up feeling like I Gigachaded it. Sort of.

    Thanks again everybody!

    In case it might be useful to you along the way, there's a good thread about many different alternative ways to increase useful stress during strength training:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10877279/30-tips-to-increase-strength-training-intensity

    With my aging (67 y/o) body, in which I've created significant imbalances by doing lots of one thing and not enough of others to balance it out, there have been circumstances where I felt like it wasn't the greatest idea to increase weight (injury risk because of imbalances, or didn't have the equipment needed), but also wasn't the greatest idea to increase reps/sets (because of concerns about repetitive stress/strain injury potential). That thread was helpful.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,657 Member
    Retroguy2000 wrote: »
    …Btw, nice suit. Your stomach which was already a non-issue, is even less so with that strategic choice.

    This is why I love these boards. @Retroguy2000 if there were a lovely comment award, I’d hand you a ribbon for that one.
  • Pdc654
    Pdc654 Posts: 317 Member
    herringboxes wrote: »
    Oh, and I had ordered a bathing suit on clearance and it arrived today. The higher waistband should hide most of my gut. I’m excited to wear this, 46 years old and first time I will ever wear a two piece bathing suit in public - in two weeks. Because I have lost my very last eff and I will not be looking for it.

    woxqkiae3dvh.jpeg

    You look awesome! Great swimsuit choice!

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