Does anyone else have Heart Failure here?

13

Replies

  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,691 Member
    We have several ladies that are 90 who come to the “power” aquafit class. They are insanely inspirational.

    I guess because our gym skews towards older, we all root for each other, but especially them.

    I hope you’ll keep updating us! Rooting for you, as well! 😘
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,691 Member
    edited August 9
    . . I put myself in this positiion to have all my freedoms taken away. …..

    I realize everyone has a specialized journey with different obstacles. I also realize what has worked for me, may not work for everyone. I don't want to tell anyone what to do. Please go live your best life within the valleys and mountaintops. Celebrate today! Peace.

    Very profound on the first point, and insightful on the second.

    Sending you many hugs and deep breaths of peace.

    Be mad at your old self, but hopeful and projecting good things for your new one.

    I always feel like my life is separate chapters. I’m in a new one, and no longer mad at the old me. Just sorry for her weaknesses. But “that” me is no longer current me.
  • kiteflyer105
    kiteflyer105 Posts: 179 Member
    edited August 31
    I have been in Heart Failure since October 22. Sorry, I had a typo. I thought I was out of shape, or it was asthma. My energy was decreasing, fatigue increasing, and shortness of breath increasing. Wrong. Heart Failure. Hindsight is 20/20.

    This has been a great month, overall, the reality: I just received my A1C, and it is horrible. I knew eating all those desserts was not good for me. Yikes. Worst 12.1 in the ER, went down to 7.1 this year, and back up to 8.8. Another wake-up call. Bummer.

    Even though I did make great strides...the negatives of the eating disorder clinic are: I gained 20 lbs. (currently lost 13 lbs. of those), and my A1C went up 1.7 points. I can still recover though. I am ready to tackle this head on. My ED therapist reported I will have dips. After 3 months, I finally binged. No, self-care tool was going to take away my anxiety. My body did not take it well. After it was over, it seemed more like torture than a good time. That is a good thing. The excess sugar made me sick.

    It was 99 degrees yesterday. Yuck. The humidity was awful. I had to go back inside. We celebrated my mom's 80th birthday. I gave her a double high five, and we hugged while I sang her." Happy Birthday” completely loud and off key. What a memory! Smile! Her small frame was noticeable, yet she is still a powerhouse when she wants to be.

    She did take good care of herself over the years. She, unlike me, ate well and consistently exercised. She will always be a go getter. I am very blessed to have both parents still alive. I am grateful to celebrate with them.

    I had a higher calorie meal yesterday. I had a brisket sandwich with BQ sauce, some onion rings, and a little bit of coleslaw. Appetizer was lobster dip where all I tasted was wine and cheese (no lobster ironically). I washed it down with water and a diet Mt. Dew. Yes, I know how not well that is for me. Yes, I am human and imperfect. The restaurant sits on the river. We had to eat inside, since it was sweltering. I enjoyed my brisket thoroughly. That is a once in a while food, good till the last bite. Yes, I am still a foodie at heart. No dessert. Back to cleaner eating tomorrow. I have salmon, asparagus, zucchini and summer squash planned.

    September 24 goals: continue practicing self-care daily, learn self-compassion, forgive myself and others, stop being so perfectionistic, validate myself, continue Snoop Dawg’s affirmations video on You Tube, cut carbs for new A1C, and continue cardio 3 days a week, 20-30 minutes at a clip. I am walking at an indoor track with these frying temperatures.

    Looking forward to seeing what results I can produce in September. Good luck everyone!
    I miss having the newsfeed. I liked reading what everyone was up to……
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,691 Member
    As a side note, we got one of the electric Ninja Woodfire grills. We can safely use it on our wooden balcony. Unbelievably simple to use. Put in wood pellets, put a loin or something in it, stick in the thermometer, hit “go” and come back a couple hours later to crazy tender, well smoked meats.

    Plan to try some veggies on it. I just had a smoked eggplant “hummus” (not a baba ganoush) that was crazy low cal when I looked it up. That’s definitely on the menu in the future.

    Hughs and Stubbs both make excellent very low cal BBQ sauces. I think both are better than the Kraft, even after I used to doctor the Kraft up with spices, honey and brown sugar. Lord knows how many calories/sugar that used to be.

    We freeze the leftover meat and pull it out to dice for quick bbq sandwiches.

    Just wanted to pass it along since you seem to enjoy your bbq, too.

    Hang in there. You’re aware and adjusting and making new (and informed) choices. That’s an NSV right there. 😘,
  • kiteflyer105
    kiteflyer105 Posts: 179 Member
    Thank you for the tip on the BBQ sauce, I do like my bq chicken better than anything. A goal of mine also for September is a thorough car cleaning; I also need to clean out my trunk, and organize it. This should be fun, not, yet has to be done before the winter. I am looking forward to the thoughts of a clean car though.

    I cleaned the deck today the best I could. There will be leaves on it tomorrow. Sigh. That is life. It looked beautiful for one night.

    I am thankful my hamburger today was perfect. Sometimes it is hit or miss on the girl. The farmers market corn was lacking water. It was a beautiful weather day today!
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,691 Member
    That’s why a micro car is a blessing. You can’t leave stuff in it, or there’s no room for you!
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,691 Member
    My money is on you. That A1C should start following suit very soon.
  • SummerSkier
    SummerSkier Posts: 5,196 Member
    @kiteflyer105 I read your story with hope here. Do you feel like the EDC clinic was good or bad for you in hindsight? I find it a very difficult type of choice to make - and honestly I am not sure one ever is cured from binging.
  • kiteflyer105
    kiteflyer105 Posts: 179 Member
    edited September 16
    For me, it was a must. I was in the chronic stages of bingeing. I have attempted countless tries to stop. I really was at the end of the rope. I was going to kill myself. To someone who does not have Binge Eating, this sounds crazy. Everyone says put down the food. It is a food compulsion. We learned tools and skills to combat it. My mindset has changed. I am not perfect. I have grown stronger over time.

    Like today, I was at a picnic. Before, I would have had 2 plates of food then dessert. I went once and did not cram too much food on my plate. I was thinking in terms of what would satisfy me the most, not quantity and eating to oblivion. I consciously choose to not eat too much food.

    I would do it again in a heartbeat. I was not thrilled I gained weight. However, I did not binge for 3 months straight. 80% is considered successful. It takes time to learn Intuitive Eating. I'm not eating many desserts now, so my A1C will decrease.

    BED is managed not cured, like diabetes. Sure, some people do overcome it and never look back. Most people deal with it daily.

    I watch The Binge Eating Therapist on You Tube to help with my thoughts.

    I did a very thorough cleaning on my bedroom today. I vacuumed all of the dust under the night stand and under the bed. I love fresh washed sheets on a bed, before you turn in. It has taken me this long to have the energy to clean it. I was listening to Eric Darius (saxaphonist) and it made the time fly. No clutter. Everything is organized, I can breathe again. I am happier when my room is spotless.
  • kiteflyer105
    kiteflyer105 Posts: 179 Member
    edited November 6
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  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,627 Member
    Oh, Kiteflyer, you're such a good role model here: Such a great attitude, persistence toward your goals, and more. I love it.

    Yes, I saw that you've had some struggles along the way. That's human and normal. But that you're moving steadily on, and trending in a good direction . . . that's excellent.

    It sounds like you've been having some fun, too: Hayride, hike, Daisies; and taking/planning some great steps: Reduced sweet snacks and such, PT, planned swim aerobics, CPAP (I use one of those, too).

    I've been struggling a little myself recently, though in maintenance. I feel like I'm refocusing and getting back on track now, and hopeful I'll stay on a good trajectory overall.

    I'm cheering for you!
  • Corina1143
    Corina1143 Posts: 3,849 Member
    @kiteflyer105

    I love your posts. And your grit!

    I second that!
  • kiteflyer105
    kiteflyer105 Posts: 179 Member
    edited November 17
    Thank you. To be honest every day is a battle for me. Some days are good and others just plain suck, but I know everyone has their own journey too. It is not easy for anyone.

    I am putting on my alarm to eat every 4 hours (3 times a day), and have lemon ginger tea as a snack. I saw my nutritionist last week; my A1C is now 7.1...it is getting better. I want to be in the 5's by next April 25. I see my Endocrinologist next week. The Free Style Libre is great. This has instant accountability, whether I want it or not. It keeps me in reality and honest.

    I am not having a dessert until Thanksgiving. For me, this is hard. I need to get used to not using sugar for a mood lift. I've been using fruit teas and cinnamon tea the most. I want to get off the sugar free Powerade and Gatorade. My one win is I have decreased considerably the use of the artificial sugar packets. I really don't miss them anymore.

    I have goals eventually I want to hit.
    1) Complete a 5K and 10k.
    2) Have my dog enter the Doxie Derby.
    3) Get a lower body lift.
    4) Lift weights and be able to lift 25 to 30 lbs. again with no problem. I can only lift a 12 pack of Diet Rite. Yes, I did not give up pop entirely. It has no sodium.
    5) When I hit my healthy weight, I want to wear a red dress for Go Red (The Heart Association's event every year). https://www.goredforwomen.org/ Please ladies and gents take good care of yourselves.
    6) To complete a race (walking at Disney for fun).

    For now, I need to complete my walking for 30 minutes. I am so completely grateful I can walk again without a cane or walker.

    Have a fun day, Sunday!
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,691 Member
    As a former multi doxie owner, I’m enchanted with the idea of a Doxie Derby. Pics of your baby(s).

    The High Anxiety Dog is half dachshund. (The barking half, I’m afraid.)

    I e been in maintenance several years. Trust me, it’s still a battle. The ability to rationalize anything never quite goes away, but is more “soothable” with practice.

    Last night it was wanting chocolate. Instead I had a spoonful of roasted pumpkin seeds. (My heavens the pumpkin seeds we scooped out were amazing this year!)

    Hugs. You’re still here and we’re all climbing off and on that same wagon constantly. You’re not alone.
  • kiteflyer105
    kiteflyer105 Posts: 179 Member
    Great choice! I walked a 5k today. I have to be careful with dark chocolate. That is a once in awhile food, even though all food fits.

    Doxie owners are some of the nicest people on earth. My dream is to have 2 mini wiener dogs, one long hair and one short hair. This should be sometime in the next 5 years. I want to be at goal weight and my surgery complete. This will give me time to build up stamina and endurance with walking. Overall, I want my blood test results to rock.
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,691 Member
    We had three long hairs and one shorthair at once.

    Our short hair was an “oh give him to me” after a customer said she was going to take her son’s dog to the pound since he was joining the military. She couldn’t stand the dog.

    We called him the Benjamin Button dog. He was apparently miserable- and possibly abused- at his old home. When he came to our home, he was so overjoyed he acted younger and younger. He was so happy with us, like he had a new lease on life. He’d climb up on you, nestle in, and utter this huge stuttering sigh of absolute satisfaction.

    I wish you could have seen his face when he came in the first time, saw three dogs in the sofa, looked at them, looked at us, hung his head. When we said “Go ahead. It’s OK!” his face absolutely lit up.

    What an awesome little dog he was. He knew he was loved and wanted.
  • kiteflyer105
    kiteflyer105 Posts: 179 Member
    What a great story. These dogs (I mean shadows) can be so loving. I am glad you could show him what real love is...that is awesome. I wish I could have met your doggies. I am obsessed with the breed. =)
  • kiteflyer105
    kiteflyer105 Posts: 179 Member
    edited November 18
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    In one's journey it is easy to relapse and have to start over. This is to make us aware of what stage we are currently in and what stage we are working towards.

    I've have been working on emotional regulation with my therapist. It is not always easy. I also started an app for emotional regulation. Losing weight is an inside job.

    This video has helped me.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hGosi3tsjI
  • kiteflyer105
    kiteflyer105 Posts: 179 Member
    edited November 25
    Hi all. There have been many positive changes in 2024. Hope everyone is hitting their PRs.

    -I don't have to take any diuretics again; I am so relieved. Not surprisingly, I can get to actually sleep sometimes.
    -I am getting somewhere in downsizing. The only thing that is keeping me going at it is the thought, "I want to move forward."
    -Going to prayer group once a week renews my spirit.
    -I have learned new tools to deal with the Binge Eating Disorder
    -I have been trying new recipes with a variety of nutrients
    -I have been given the gift of more Physical Therapy to deal with my Gluteus Medius. I am slowly getting stronger, which is exciting for me.
    -Daisies is going well .We are painting wood Christmas trees and making reindeer cupcakes. Some of the ladies liked the pumpkin energy balls, some did not.

    I took a break this weekend and went to a quaint small town with several antique shops. We saw a bunch of things from yesteryear like old crates with milk glass bottles, and original farmhouse sinks. The best part were three of the stores were decorated for Christmas. The last stop was the best with Victorian decorated Christmas trees. We had lunch at a coffee shop with quality food and generous portions.

    Instead of bingeing I have been watching Christmas Decorating videos, and also listening to Christmas music. I started learning Spanish on Duolingo to keep my brain occupied.

    I will be baking for gifts. I am making cranberry orange bread, pumpkin snickerdoodles, m-n-m cookies, peanut butter blossoms, and snickerdoodles.

    We try to come up with positive things to talk about...theories, concepts, interesting positive news so Thanksgiving is not just about the food.

    Wishing everyone an enjoyable Thanksgiving.

    You are only 1 meal away from getting back on track. You do have it in you. Blessings to you and your family.





  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,691 Member
    I think “kiteflyer” is the perfect moniker for you.

    Your heart is lifted!

    And you lift mine, too. 😘
  • Adventurista
    Adventurista Posts: 2,136 Member
    edited November 26
    really interesting shares @kiteflyer, thank you. Hope you continue the updates, pulling for you here!

    I have always been interested in the 'process of change' and not too long ago, the Change diagram started including a 'spiral' to show that progress happens as we practice, goofup, adjust, practice more and learn from our mistakes - that we can move up & down that staircase spiral... I think that is particularly true as we change and tackle some of our lifelong non-food, emotional habits, attitudes and beliefs...

    when I quit smoking it was part physical and a whole lot mental - I had to withdraw from the chemical driver in the body and relearn how to live life without using and depending on cigarettes - in all social and life situations - break the emotional dependance and replace it with better, healthier coping things.

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    the 2nd thing they added is the last 'transcendance' stage where we are unlikely to relapse and it is not a problem anymore - it is where you move from maintenance into permanent 'not a problem' (and turn forward to another thing. For me, that happened quite a few years after I quit... and even a few times after - the most difficult/stressful events can retrigger the urges - it caught me by surprise. The pandemic with fear and everything shutting down and people in our family died, it all triggered that urge in me to chain-smoke - I was like? What? Wait? Why? took a lot to resist the urge to start smoking but the urge eventually eased and went away again.

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    Anyways, I think changing with food, for me, is a lot like that too except we can not quit eating - we still need to explore new, helpful ways to eat. I like to think of it as an adventure and look at the ways it can help - dwell there... and actually, that is a conscious decision I keep making all the time, every morning, every time my mind goes to old thinking... everytime i goof up...

    So hang in - I'm so tickled your ef% (is that the thing?) is improving - hope your a1c also responds ! You are doing wonderful things! Yay you! <3