Does anyone else have Heart Failure here?
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We have several ladies that are 90 who come to the “power” aquafit class. They are insanely inspirational.
I guess because our gym skews towards older, we all root for each other, but especially them.
I hope you’ll keep updating us! Rooting for you, as well! 😘2 -
Absolutely! Every decade needs to be rooted on! Being our best selves needs to be celebrated for every sex and age. I'm not ageist. I decided to join swim aerobics, due to the heat....walking is not realistic for me daily yet...I would like to participate and walk in 2-5ks next year. My cardiologist wants me to strive for 30 minutes a day, 5 times a week for now.
All is not grand in my recovery today, I saw my doctor. I need to continue to decrease my A1C. He told me to go hardcore and have a dessert 1x a week. No more junk food, period. No more pop. Decrease the sugar packets, Equal, Splenda, and Sweet and Low. My diabetes medication was changed. Honestly, I am ticked off right now.
It will take 2 days to "get over" myself. Lol. I put myself in this positiion to have all my freedoms taken away. He told me 1400 calories daily to reach 130 lbs. Tough love sucks when you are not in the mood to hear it. Urgggg. I know it is for the best. I'm researching going more plant based. Chicken breasts and thighs seem abnormally large (weird now). They are too big and quite scary. I wonder what we are putting into our internal organs when we eat them.
I clearly need an attitude adjustment. So to inprove my mood, I'm journaling. I see my nutritionist and nephrologist next. Then some EFT, Tapping by Brad Yates. He has many heplpful videos on you tube. I need to do one on anger.
Despite my temporary negative attitude, I am blessed to be alive. Last June 23, had I not went to the ER, I would have had a heart atttack or stroke due to my Binge Eating Disorder. Unbeliveable. I am very grateful I was given the opportnity to turn it around. Our lives are not over. I don't want to regret poor choices anymore. Thank you for letting me vent. I am having a human day. Keep pushing and striving everyone. Take the best care of yourself. You owe it to yourself.
I realize everyone has a specialized journey with different obstacles. I also realize what has worked for me, may not work for everyone. I don't want to tell anyone what to do. Please go live your best life within the valleys and mountaintops. Celebrate today! Peace.5 -
kiteflyer105 wrote: ». . I put myself in this positiion to have all my freedoms taken away. …..
I realize everyone has a specialized journey with different obstacles. I also realize what has worked for me, may not work for everyone. I don't want to tell anyone what to do. Please go live your best life within the valleys and mountaintops. Celebrate today! Peace.
Very profound on the first point, and insightful on the second.
Sending you many hugs and deep breaths of peace.
Be mad at your old self, but hopeful and projecting good things for your new one.
I always feel like my life is separate chapters. I’m in a new one, and no longer mad at the old me. Just sorry for her weaknesses. But “that” me is no longer current me.4 -
Status update: I lost 10 lbs. and walked 4.4 miles! This is highest mileage yet, since I have gotten sick. I won't do that again until December. I start physical therapy soon. My insurance would not pay for my cardiac rehab. I saw my nutritionist today. 1400-1600 calories depending on the day.9
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I have been in heart failure since 2021. My EF was 25 at diagnosis. Besides medication going to cardiac rehab really helped. I'm at 50% now.5
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shannonmarie777-I am so proud of you! That is wonderful news. Did your massive fatigue eventually go away?
I had my first day of Physical Therapy. I was dizzy and nauseous when I was done. Then I took an 3 hour nap. It is a slow progression.5 -
I have been in Heart Failure since October 22. Sorry, I had a typo. I thought I was out of shape, or it was asthma. My energy was decreasing, fatigue increasing, and shortness of breath increasing. Wrong. Heart Failure. Hindsight is 20/20.
This has been a great month, overall, the reality: I just received my A1C, and it is horrible. I knew eating all those desserts was not good for me. Yikes. Worst 12.1 in the ER, went down to 7.1 this year, and back up to 8.8. Another wake-up call. Bummer.
Even though I did make great strides...the negatives of the eating disorder clinic are: I gained 20 lbs. (currently lost 13 lbs. of those), and my A1C went up 1.7 points. I can still recover though. I am ready to tackle this head on. My ED therapist reported I will have dips. After 3 months, I finally binged. No, self-care tool was going to take away my anxiety. My body did not take it well. After it was over, it seemed more like torture than a good time. That is a good thing. The excess sugar made me sick.
It was 99 degrees yesterday. Yuck. The humidity was awful. I had to go back inside. We celebrated my mom's 80th birthday. I gave her a double high five, and we hugged while I sang her." Happy Birthday” completely loud and off key. What a memory! Smile! Her small frame was noticeable, yet she is still a powerhouse when she wants to be.
She did take good care of herself over the years. She, unlike me, ate well and consistently exercised. She will always be a go getter. I am very blessed to have both parents still alive. I am grateful to celebrate with them.
I had a higher calorie meal yesterday. I had a brisket sandwich with BQ sauce, some onion rings, and a little bit of coleslaw. Appetizer was lobster dip where all I tasted was wine and cheese (no lobster ironically). I washed it down with water and a diet Mt. Dew. Yes, I know how not well that is for me. Yes, I am human and imperfect. The restaurant sits on the river. We had to eat inside, since it was sweltering. I enjoyed my brisket thoroughly. That is a once in a while food, good till the last bite. Yes, I am still a foodie at heart. No dessert. Back to cleaner eating tomorrow. I have salmon, asparagus, zucchini and summer squash planned.
September 24 goals: continue practicing self-care daily, learn self-compassion, forgive myself and others, stop being so perfectionistic, validate myself, continue Snoop Dawg’s affirmations video on You Tube, cut carbs for new A1C, and continue cardio 3 days a week, 20-30 minutes at a clip. I am walking at an indoor track with these frying temperatures.
Looking forward to seeing what results I can produce in September. Good luck everyone!
I miss having the newsfeed. I liked reading what everyone was up to……
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As a side note, we got one of the electric Ninja Woodfire grills. We can safely use it on our wooden balcony. Unbelievably simple to use. Put in wood pellets, put a loin or something in it, stick in the thermometer, hit “go” and come back a couple hours later to crazy tender, well smoked meats.
Plan to try some veggies on it. I just had a smoked eggplant “hummus” (not a baba ganoush) that was crazy low cal when I looked it up. That’s definitely on the menu in the future.
Hughs and Stubbs both make excellent very low cal BBQ sauces. I think both are better than the Kraft, even after I used to doctor the Kraft up with spices, honey and brown sugar. Lord knows how many calories/sugar that used to be.
We freeze the leftover meat and pull it out to dice for quick bbq sandwiches.
Just wanted to pass it along since you seem to enjoy your bbq, too.
Hang in there. You’re aware and adjusting and making new (and informed) choices. That’s an NSV right there. 😘,4 -
Thank you for the tip on the BBQ sauce, I do like my bq chicken better than anything. A goal of mine also for September is a thorough car cleaning; I also need to clean out my trunk, and organize it. This should be fun, not, yet has to be done before the winter. I am looking forward to the thoughts of a clean car though.
I cleaned the deck today the best I could. There will be leaves on it tomorrow. Sigh. That is life. It looked beautiful for one night.
I am thankful my hamburger today was perfect. Sometimes it is hit or miss on the girl. The farmers market corn was lacking water. It was a beautiful weather day today!4 -
That’s why a micro car is a blessing. You can’t leave stuff in it, or there’s no room for you!1
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I am happy to report I have lost 17 of the 20 lbs. I gained in the Eating Disorder Clinic. When I was bingeing the most following my heart surgery, I did not think this would finally happen. It has taken effort and work, less food and more movement. My weight is going down, down, and down--I am thrilled. I need to do the same with my A1C.6
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My money is on you. That A1C should start following suit very soon.2
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@kiteflyer105 I read your story with hope here. Do you feel like the EDC clinic was good or bad for you in hindsight? I find it a very difficult type of choice to make - and honestly I am not sure one ever is cured from binging.2
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For me, it was a must. I was in the chronic stages of bingeing. I have attempted countless tries to stop. I really was at the end of the rope. I was going to kill myself. To someone who does not have Binge Eating, this sounds crazy. Everyone says put down the food. It is a food compulsion. We learned tools and skills to combat it. My mindset has changed. I am not perfect. I have grown stronger over time.
Like today, I was at a picnic. Before, I would have had 2 plates of food then dessert. I went once and did not cram too much food on my plate. I was thinking in terms of what would satisfy me the most, not quantity and eating to oblivion. I consciously choose to not eat too much food.
I would do it again in a heartbeat. I was not thrilled I gained weight. However, I did not binge for 3 months straight. 80% is considered successful. It takes time to learn Intuitive Eating. I'm not eating many desserts now, so my A1C will decrease.
BED is managed not cured, like diabetes. Sure, some people do overcome it and never look back. Most people deal with it daily.
I watch The Binge Eating Therapist on You Tube to help with my thoughts.
I did a very thorough cleaning on my bedroom today. I vacuumed all of the dust under the night stand and under the bed. I love fresh washed sheets on a bed, before you turn in. It has taken me this long to have the energy to clean it. I was listening to Eric Darius (saxaphonist) and it made the time fly. No clutter. Everything is organized, I can breathe again. I am happier when my room is spotless.4 -
Boy oh boy you sound like me.
I did 19,000 steps yesterday, mostly inside the house. We got back from a two week trip and there was fur everywhere. I cleaned everything, sorted closets, cupboards, nooks crannies. I also feel 1,000% better when things are clean and orderly.
I think that’s the only reason I never ballooned up to morbidly obese like I should have with the quantities I was eating: compulsive cleaning and reorganizing, burned as NEAT.
A lot of what you describe with multiple plate loads, alllllll the desserts, that’s me. But it was never how I imagine binging, it was just eating all. the. food. All. the. damn. time.
You are just doing so amazingly well. If it has any value at all, hugs and proud of you from a random internet stranger. 😘5 -
(Long post) September and October flew. I somewhat struggled in both months to be honest. My PCP telling me no more than 1 dessert a week, and to have my morning blood sugar be between 100-110 down from 200! My nutritionist reported my BS should not be over 180. Our bodies do not like our BS to be over 200. My numbers have been slowly coming down.
I went to a hayride and my friend neglected to tell me about the massive hills we needed to walk. Gulp. The scenic views were amazing!
I told her to walk faster, and I would not be offended. I walked and sat, repeated, until the very end. I am just trying to get through my lifetime without getting shocked and going to the ER. We saw many fall and scary decorations along the way. It was a glorious fall day, even though it was unseasonably warm. The scenic view was breathtaking. I tried to do a “Julie Andrews” twirl until I got dizzy. lol. They had seats to take in all that nature had to offer. I really missed being in nature.
It was on a farm. They moved the cows, so we could walk on the hills. They had an air b-n-b and offered camping. It was the first time I challenged myself in a different way. It was a good reality check for me. At the end, after completing a trail, we went to a barn. They had a gift shop with a large variety of food offered. The white lights were strung, the picnic tables were made by a master woodcrafter; it was gorgeous. It would have been perfect for the right partner and a romantic song. Hee hee. Think of a Nicolas Sparks movie. The little decorative pumpkins were a pleasant surprise. The trail was decorated with a Halloween theme. They were preparing for the night walk, which no one could pay me to do. I would have been too scared.
I took a picture on a bridge. When I turned around, there was a planted black rubber snake on it. I thought it was real--I screamed then laughed when I realized it was fake. I’ve never been a big fan of snakes.
I also went to a Doxie Derby in October. There were over 90 doxies in different age groups in the race. Everyone was so friendly. I petted at least nine different dogs. I was in heaven. It was wonderful to finally do some normal events. It was the first time in a long time that I lived normally. What a wonderful gift!
Truthfully, September was a blur, as I had over 30 appointments. My PT is going well, I am getting stronger over time. I realized my medication was causing the dizziness, so I sat before immediately getting up and that helped.
I have been changing more of what I eat to get my A1C back to normal--I have finally stopped all artificial sugar packets in my iced tea. Holy smokes, I was really addicted to those. Eating has been a supreme challenge for the past two months. As I stopped with eating 6 times a day, I have felt off kilter. Not bingeing has been more challenging as of late, I cut back on dessert and snack (junk)food. This time cutting excess sugar has been rather painful, but necessary. The detoxing has been very difficult at times. I am used to my brain chemistry changing immediately after sugar. The honeymoon stage of Binge Eating Recovery has passed. My PCP was militant on me about my A1C; in fact, he scared me...
I do sometimes binge, even with all the tools. I am working on that with my Relapse Prevention Therapist. I still feel like I am mile 17 of this marathon. Finding a healthy balance, especially not restricting is hard. I struggled more in the month of October than I ever have.
After PT is over, I am joining swimming aerobics, I need to challenge my body in a new way. I am not giving up this battle. Some days, to be brutally honest, I am over it, and very sick of it. Intellectually, I know, I can’t quit.
To get me through it all I’m an assistant leader of the Daisies (the youngest Girl Scouts), kindergarten age (5 and 6). We are working on the purple “Respect Yourself and Others” badge. It is super important to me to teach these ladies about self-esteem every month. We will be making pumpkin energy balls next. I want to expose them to different foods that are healthy.
Although I deviated with making Beetlejuice (Sprite, green food coloring, 5 maraschino cherries (for the bloody eye balls), and 4 gummy worms on the edge of the drink. The kids loved it. One girl ate the gummy worms and her mom had the drink.
My CPAP machine has been giving me some newfound energy. Thank goodness. I am still downsizing my belongings. I am donating 30 journals to the Domestic Violence Shelter. Apparently, I like buying them, and not writing in them. SMH. Ahhh, the things that you find about yourself while downsizing. How embarrassing!
I have been eating more soup thankfully. I am excited to see where I end up at the end of the month. Hope everyone is hanging in there and doing well in your own journey. Even if you are struggling, Keep at it. Take care.
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Oh, Kiteflyer, you're such a good role model here: Such a great attitude, persistence toward your goals, and more. I love it.
Yes, I saw that you've had some struggles along the way. That's human and normal. But that you're moving steadily on, and trending in a good direction . . . that's excellent.
It sounds like you've been having some fun, too: Hayride, hike, Daisies; and taking/planning some great steps: Reduced sweet snacks and such, PT, planned swim aerobics, CPAP (I use one of those, too).
I've been struggling a little myself recently, though in maintenance. I feel like I'm refocusing and getting back on track now, and hopeful I'll stay on a good trajectory overall.
I'm cheering for you!4 -
Thank you, Ann. You are an awesome role model for many. We all are human. No one except David Goggins goes hard daily for 30 years straight in addition to a very low percentage of people in the grind or die culture. Lol
I have had many talks with myself. Glad you all can't see what is in my head, lol. It is not always Pollyanna. I truly believe I have been through the worst. For that, I am truly grateful. I am graduating to the next level. Will I regret not working harder? Yes. For awhile my plate was so full...it was hard to focus. I know what a disaster, **** show my life will be if I don't carry on.
To be honest, Physical Therapy has been super challenging. I am getting stronger, which is cool. But I sleep 2-3 hours after a session, due to my fatigue. I contend with my fatigue daily. I figured out my medication was making me dizzy and nauseous, so I sit after each exercise and don't get up fast. This is helping greatly. I don't want a knee or hip replacement in my future-this is enough motivation for me.
I am getting better with the CPAP. I am up to 5 hours a day, need to increase it to 7 hrs. I spoke with my NP; she informed me I may have to wear it for the rest of my life. It has given me more energy though...I incorrectly assumed if I just lost weight I could stop using it, on the contrary. She said it is genetic.
Realistically, I know within myself I need to kick it up several notches. My commitment started to wane, which that will not get me to goal. The vast majority of my doctor's appointments are done. Woo Hoo! I have been downsizing my belongings. This has been a tedious, slow process. I can't wait until I am done. I made a rule that I can't bring something in the house anymore without getting rid of something.
Dealing with all these additional challenges has made me mentally tougher. I still have lots to improve. I want to continue to grow, be better really. Otherwise, there is no point for me. I keep getting back up.
The main reason I have chosen to open up about my life is if I can help someone to continue to carry on with getting healthier, it will be worth it. I don't want another obese person to travel the same path I did. I think the hardest part is to keep telling myself that " I deserve better. I owe this to myself." I am not doing this for anyone else but me. Also, I need to have more energy to help my aging parents out.
I have been faced with quitting many times. The only thing that has truly kept me going is I remember when I had to use one of those motorized carts at Walmart to get my groceries, when I was too weak. My labored breathing was horrible and pain from my cellulitus in both lower extremities was over the top. Then, I drove 2.5 hours to my wound care clinic, because I seriously couldn't take it anymore. To be told I had "imminent death" was life changing for me. It scared me in a way that nothing on this planet could. I have always been stubborn--this time I need to use it for good.
We have a little bit of time before 2025. This year has flown. Do you have it in you? Prove it to yourself.
I don't take life for granted at all anymore. I didn't realize what I had when I had it (growing pains). Looking forward to my next A1C test. Over time, my blood sugars have been going down. I have been in shock how much it rises with some basic foods. As my ED therapist reported, "It is all data. 80% is a successful recovery."
This time I choose to be a winner. I refuse to accept anything less. I didn't realize to the degree I was being mediocre. This is embarrassing to admit. When you truly look at yourself in the mirror at everything, it can really suck. However, I can use the pain emotionally, physically, and spiritually to push me further. This is what I truly hope for everyone else. That the people that come to this forum want to be/do better. Test yourself. See where you end up. Good luck all!
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springlering62 wrote: »
I second that!2 -
Thank you. To be honest every day is a battle for me. Some days are good and others just plain suck, but I know everyone has their own journey too. It is not easy for anyone.
I am putting on my alarm to eat every 4 hours (3 times a day), and have lemon ginger tea as a snack. I saw my nutritionist last week; my A1C is now 7.1...it is getting better. I want to be in the 5's by next April 25. I see my Endocrinologist next week. The Free Style Libre is great. This has instant accountability, whether I want it or not. It keeps me in reality and honest.
I am not having a dessert until Thanksgiving. For me, this is hard. I need to get used to not using sugar for a mood lift. I've been using fruit teas and cinnamon tea the most. I want to get off the sugar free Powerade and Gatorade. My one win is I have decreased considerably the use of the artificial sugar packets. I really don't miss them anymore.
I have goals eventually I want to hit.
1) Complete a 5K and 10k.
2) Have my dog enter the Doxie Derby.
3) Get a lower body lift.
4) Lift weights and be able to lift 25 to 30 lbs. again with no problem. I can only lift a 12 pack of Diet Rite. Yes, I did not give up pop entirely. It has no sodium.
5) When I hit my healthy weight, I want to wear a red dress for Go Red (The Heart Association's event every year). https://www.goredforwomen.org/ Please ladies and gents take good care of yourselves.
6) To complete a race (walking at Disney for fun).
For now, I need to complete my walking for 30 minutes. I am so completely grateful I can walk again without a cane or walker.
Have a fun day, Sunday!2 -
As a former multi doxie owner, I’m enchanted with the idea of a Doxie Derby. Pics of your baby(s).
The High Anxiety Dog is half dachshund. (The barking half, I’m afraid.)
I e been in maintenance several years. Trust me, it’s still a battle. The ability to rationalize anything never quite goes away, but is more “soothable” with practice.
Last night it was wanting chocolate. Instead I had a spoonful of roasted pumpkin seeds. (My heavens the pumpkin seeds we scooped out were amazing this year!)
Hugs. You’re still here and we’re all climbing off and on that same wagon constantly. You’re not alone.2 -
Great choice! I walked a 5k today. I have to be careful with dark chocolate. That is a once in awhile food, even though all food fits.
Doxie owners are some of the nicest people on earth. My dream is to have 2 mini wiener dogs, one long hair and one short hair. This should be sometime in the next 5 years. I want to be at goal weight and my surgery complete. This will give me time to build up stamina and endurance with walking. Overall, I want my blood test results to rock.2 -
We had three long hairs and one shorthair at once.
Our short hair was an “oh give him to me” after a customer said she was going to take her son’s dog to the pound since he was joining the military. She couldn’t stand the dog.
We called him the Benjamin Button dog. He was apparently miserable- and possibly abused- at his old home. When he came to our home, he was so overjoyed he acted younger and younger. He was so happy with us, like he had a new lease on life. He’d climb up on you, nestle in, and utter this huge stuttering sigh of absolute satisfaction.
I wish you could have seen his face when he came in the first time, saw three dogs in the sofa, looked at them, looked at us, hung his head. When we said “Go ahead. It’s OK!” his face absolutely lit up.
What an awesome little dog he was. He knew he was loved and wanted.2 -
What a great story. These dogs (I mean shadows) can be so loving. I am glad you could show him what real love is...that is awesome. I wish I could have met your doggies. I am obsessed with the breed.0
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In one's journey it is easy to relapse and have to start over. This is to make us aware of what stage we are currently in and what stage we are working towards.
I've have been working on emotional regulation with my therapist. It is not always easy. I also started an app for emotional regulation. Losing weight is an inside job.
This video has helped me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hGosi3tsjI
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Hi all. There have been many positive changes in 2024. Hope everyone is hitting their PRs.
-I don't have to take any diuretics again; I am so relieved. Not surprisingly, I can get to actually sleep sometimes.
-I am getting somewhere in downsizing. The only thing that is keeping me going at it is the thought, "I want to move forward."
-Going to prayer group once a week renews my spirit.
-I have learned new tools to deal with the Binge Eating Disorder
-I have been trying new recipes with a variety of nutrients
-I have been given the gift of more Physical Therapy to deal with my Gluteus Medius. I am slowly getting stronger, which is exciting for me.
-Daisies is going well .We are painting wood Christmas trees and making reindeer cupcakes. Some of the ladies liked the pumpkin energy balls, some did not.
I took a break this weekend and went to a quaint small town with several antique shops. We saw a bunch of things from yesteryear like old crates with milk glass bottles, and original farmhouse sinks. The best part were three of the stores were decorated for Christmas. The last stop was the best with Victorian decorated Christmas trees. We had lunch at a coffee shop with quality food and generous portions.
Instead of bingeing I have been watching Christmas Decorating videos, and also listening to Christmas music. I started learning Spanish on Duolingo to keep my brain occupied.
I will be baking for gifts. I am making cranberry orange bread, pumpkin snickerdoodles, m-n-m cookies, peanut butter blossoms, and snickerdoodles.
We try to come up with positive things to talk about...theories, concepts, interesting positive news so Thanksgiving is not just about the food.
Wishing everyone an enjoyable Thanksgiving.
You are only 1 meal away from getting back on track. You do have it in you. Blessings to you and your family.
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I think “kiteflyer” is the perfect moniker for you.
Your heart is lifted!
And you lift mine, too. 😘2 -
really interesting shares @kiteflyer, thank you. Hope you continue the updates, pulling for you here!
I have always been interested in the 'process of change' and not too long ago, the Change diagram started including a 'spiral' to show that progress happens as we practice, goofup, adjust, practice more and learn from our mistakes - that we can move up & down that staircase spiral... I think that is particularly true as we change and tackle some of our lifelong non-food, emotional habits, attitudes and beliefs...
when I quit smoking it was part physical and a whole lot mental - I had to withdraw from the chemical driver in the body and relearn how to live life without using and depending on cigarettes - in all social and life situations - break the emotional dependance and replace it with better, healthier coping things.
the 2nd thing they added is the last 'transcendance' stage where we are unlikely to relapse and it is not a problem anymore - it is where you move from maintenance into permanent 'not a problem' (and turn forward to another thing. For me, that happened quite a few years after I quit... and even a few times after - the most difficult/stressful events can retrigger the urges - it caught me by surprise. The pandemic with fear and everything shutting down and people in our family died, it all triggered that urge in me to chain-smoke - I was like? What? Wait? Why? took a lot to resist the urge to start smoking but the urge eventually eased and went away again.
Anyways, I think changing with food, for me, is a lot like that too except we can not quit eating - we still need to explore new, helpful ways to eat. I like to think of it as an adventure and look at the ways it can help - dwell there... and actually, that is a conscious decision I keep making all the time, every morning, every time my mind goes to old thinking... everytime i goof up...
So hang in - I'm so tickled your ef% (is that the thing?) is improving - hope your a1c also responds ! You are doing wonderful things! Yay you!3
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