Rude & Negative People Along The Way....

kayemmgee5

I'm kind of upset by a comment that was made to me yesterday and I don't know where else to let it out, so here I am...

I was eating lunch yesterday at my desk, like I always do. I normally eat a pita with veggies and hummus all wrapped up in it. A co-worker saw me eating a salad with a turkey brat/bun (I'm pretty rigid with my veggies/pita routine so they noticed it was a change.) They said "are you eating a brat?" I said "oh yeah, it's a turkey brat, it's really good". They responded with "Congratulations, you're eating a normal lunch".

First of all, WHO CARES. Second, what's "normal"? Normal to me is food that makes me feel satisfied and full throughout the afternoon. My "normal" is a pita with veggies and humus. This person has no idea how much I eat for breakfast or dinner or snacks.

After this I have just been thinking it over in my head and thinking "I should have said ____" and thinking of all the times over this past summer where I now realize they made comments that were directed at me and/or ways of mocking/poking fun at me.

I know we're all adults here, and this shouldn't bug me as much as it is, but MAN. It really struck a nerve.

LoraF83

I know we're all adults here, and this shouldn't bug me as much as it is, but MAN. It really struck a nerve.

It shouldn't bug you. People say stupid stuff all the time. Sometimes, they don't even know they are doing it.

If they comment on it again, just say "I like my eating habits, they make me feel good. Please don't tease me about them."

I'm guessing that will make the comments stop.

wolverine66

I don't know what your work relationship is with this person - but i work with a group of people that joke with each other and saying something like that would be just part of a regular day.

Scarlett_S

I agree. People are dumb. I eat at my desk most days and eat a huge salad with chicken or something along those lines. Sometimes veggies and fish. Inevitably someone will say something about "trying to make everyone feel bad" because I'm eating healthy. But on the flipside, if I have a day where I eat a burger or something like that (usually leftovers or a kids meal, due to poor planning) its like I am a circus act and everyone has to come see me eating *regular* food.

Do what you want. You know how many calories you are ingesting and how good it is or isn't for you. There is no shortage of stupid people.

MzManiak

People just don't get it. I've stopped expecting people to understand, and have learned to accept the fact that they are happy in their ignorance. Just "whatever b*tch* and move on.... :glasses:

kayemmgee5

if I have a day where I eat a burger or something like that (usually leftovers or a kids meal, due to poor planning) its like I am a circus act and everyone has to come see me eating *regular* food.

YES exactly it was like I was a circus act! In our first meeting of the new academic year this person announced to everyone that I've really taken "a turn down the healthy road" and made some snide remark in front of everyone...so now I feel like I'm really on display with my foods. Irritating as heck.

I_Will_End_You

A veggie & hummus pita sounds normal (and delicious) to me. But...be glad you don't work in my office, we say way worse things to each other on a regular basis. I wouldn't let it bother you.

ninerbuff

Half the problem with everyone today is that they worry about what others think and say about them. Unless it's directly affecting your income or putting your job in jeopardy because of gossip, **** what everyone else thinks.
The most successful people in the world wouldn't have been successful if they listened to what negative things others say on a regular basis.
Get thick skin like a rhino.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

thepetiterunner

"YES exactly it was like I was a circus act! In our first meeting of the new academic year this person announced to everyone that I've really taken "a turn down the healthy road" and made some snide remark in front of everyone...so now I feel like I'm really on display with my foods. Irritating as heck."



I think their comment is really a reflection of who THAT person is, not you. It shows judgment and a different idea of what "normal" is.

When you make changes in your life, sometimes it shines a big fat mirror onto the lives of other people and reminds THEM that they are not making positive choices. Instead of letting it get under your skin, own it. Say "Yes, I have made a turn down the healthy road, thank you so much for acknowledging it!" and smile. I bet if you did that every time he/she made a comment, he/she would tire of it. They're doing it to try to get to you. Don't give them that sort of power over your day.

Be proud of the fact that you're making a good decision for YOU. This is your journey, go down it as you see fit. Not everyone in your life will be able to go with you - and that's okay. Keep on, keepin' on.

vim_n_vigor

I don't think what they said was rude and negative, but it is strange that people are watching what you eat.

Shannonthompson73

People suck! Sorry.

ChristineinMA

Remember that their comment means more about them than it does you.

Your eating healthy reminds them that they should do a better job with their own eating, and that makes them feel criticized - just by doing what works for you. Maybe they have tried to eat better or lose weight in the past and they feel frustrated and a failure. Rather than dwell on their shortcomings, they lash out at you for "making them look bad".

Seeing you eat - and enjoy - non-rabbit food makes them feel even more a failure.

Depending on what you want out of this relationship, you might share how eating this way makes you feel better and has helped you lose weight OR you can just chalk it up to this is a disgruntled frustrated person who won't change.

TheEffort

Things like that used to happen to me quite often when I first started my fitness process.

Try not to absorb it (easier said than done sometimes) so that it doesn't disrupt your progress.

hookilau

You're HUMAN....if it didn't bug you, well, let's just say that it's normal to feel slighted when you realize you've been poked at unnecessarily and out of sheer mean-ness :ohwell:

That being said, after you feel it a bit, the feeling will run it's course & you'll come to realize people can be *really* sh!tty sometimes. However, it was nothing you did to deserve such treatment, so it *has* to be a personal failing on their part.

If you feel particularly generous, pitying them usually follows :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :drinker:

edited for duh grammar

rml_16

People like to stick their noses where they don't belong. Just ignore it.

clairegogogo

mmm pita with veggies and humus actually sounds really good, haha thanks for a new lunch idea!

Contrarian

Laugh it off. I think they were trying to make a little joke and you may be reading too much into it.

maybeazure

I wouldn't be surprised if the comment didn't have anything to do with being healthy or not healthy. I bet the person who said it just doesn't know what hummus is. It sounds like they have a if it's not meat and potatoes, then it isn't "real food" mentality. I would just figure that they are showing their own ignorance and try to ignore them.

Christi132

I understand.... I have a good friend that really does have a kind heart, but sometimes she says things that really irritate. I've been watching what I eat for two years. However, it's only since I've become skinnier than her that she has been making public comments. If I decide to pass up dessert when I'm at a group function (sometimes it's because I just don't want it not because of the calories), she says out loud to everyone, "She has to watch her calories so that's why she isn't eating it." I WANT to say, "actually I'm not watching my calories tonight, but maybe you should." Instead I just smile. The reason I let those comments irritate me is because it makes me feel like I'm still the "fat friend" instead of the "fit friend." I'm sure I say things that are hurtful or irritating all the time without realizing it (just ask my teenage daughter).

futuresize8

The sooner you stop caring about what other people think (or even have the nerve to say) the happier you'll be!

I'll occasionally get blindsided by an incorrect and critical comment, feel hurt and then think, "Wait...why are you giving that person the power to make you feel this way? You know you, you know the truth..."

That is all that matters. That and all the supportive people who validate your dedication and progress!

EatClean_WashUrNuts

Grow. Some.Skin.

MadameLAL

As a long-time vegetarian, I've heard similar comments. Try not to let it get to you. Strictly speaking, a hummus and veggie wrap isn't 'normal', it's BETTER than normal! Deviating from the norm can be a very good thing.

KANGOOJUMPS

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would have told them what to suck on.

Rkthach

They are probably self-conscious about the way they eat and rather than take control of themselves they choose to pick on you. I am lucky to work with a group of women (and 1 man, poor guy) who always make sure to have at least one or two healthy items when doing group lunches. Next time just say, "And what I had yesterday was just as delicious! You should try hummus sometime, you might be surprised by how normal it is".

TexanDad1979

People are stupid, and it is only getting worse, Anyone who works with the public will tell you the same. They are everywhere !

Mslmesq

Op, while I do not necessarily agree with people telling you to 'just brush it off' or 'they were just joking', I will say that the most important thing to remember is the issue is with the person that said it to you. Not you. In other words, something is going on inside of them that is making them be snide to you. Almost 100% of the time it has nothing to do with anything you've done. That is the most important thing to remember.

So in this case, they probably feel some huge pressure internally about eating healthy or something. You don't (and probably can't know) where it stems from. For all you know, the person had a mother that constantly put pressure on them to be thinner and scrutinized their food choices. Doesn't matter what their issue is, the important thing to remember is it is their issue!

With that said, I highly recommend an excellent book. May be one of thebest you will ever read. It is called The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. Esentially the four agreements boil down to this:

Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

But the read and explanation is excellent.

Within that, both the fact that it is their issue and that you can become a little more detached in your observation and reaction to their comments, that is not to say you do not have the right to set boundaries with people! You absolutely do and should. The important thing is to set the boundaries in a clear, direct way that are consistent with your own integrity as well.

So, for example, after her comment here, I might have asked her why she thought that was a normal lunch and if she thought I was eating abnormal lunches on other days. Depending on what she said, I might have simply stated 'I feel really good about my new culinary expansion and experimentation phase I've been exploring, but I admit I'm uncomfortable with you commenting that it is somehow abnormal. If you are saying that because it is something you are unfamiliar with, but interested in, I'm happy to swap recipes with you'. (Depending on my past experiences with the individual I might add), 'But if it is my lifestyle choice in relation to food that you are commenting on, I'd prefer you keep your thoughts to yourself as I'm quite comfortable and happy with my current lifestyle'.

Anyways, sorry you had to deal with a jerky coworker. Unfortunately there are unhappy people in the world that like to spread their unhappiness. But, there are always happy people too, don't forget. And her actions will become apparent to all sooner or later. Just make sure you keep your own integrity in your interactions, that is the most important.

Lupercalia

Honestly, that wouldn't bother me. I might playfully rib them back, but it wouldn't be an issue of concern for me, as just as you said, the person doesn't know what you eat the rest of the day (and I'd be very surprised if he or she even cared). Just a dumb remark, really.

Gearjammer71

This happens everywhere; the rumor around my workplace is that I lost 100 lbs snorting coke. I am not going to chase down that rumor and stamp it out. Instead, I will act shady every time I go to the restroom and make them all cluck like the little hens they are. Have to have thick skin and just go with it. These aren't people that I hang out with outside of work, so I am not really concerned what they think.

Axe34

You'll find some people can be very hostile to others -- usually in a passive-aggresive form -- when they've changed their lifestyle to a healthy one.

I suspect most of it is rooted in a deep-seated jealousy and feeling bad about their own lifestyle.

compass172

I know this sounds like a broken record of what the majority of the responses are/ will be- but don't let it get to you! Whether it's a friend, relative, co-worker, or complete stranger- people are human and have flaws. The motivation for their comments may come from envy, from their own unhappiness, a good place, or a multitude more- it's not our job to figure it out.

Just last night I was telling someone I've known for a while and thought was a friend that I was having pop chips, because for a healthier 120 calories I could give in to a craving a little bit. He said "haha, looks like your fatty gene won". I have no idea where this came from, since he seemed glad of my success prior- but I let it slide and only said a positive rebuttal, that my "fatty gene" has lost me 40 lbs and built me a good bit of muscle.

Either way, like many other members have also said, don't worry about her thoughts on your lunch and enjoy your healthy journey!

parys1

if I have a day where I eat a burger or something like that (usually leftovers or a kids meal, due to poor planning) its like I am a circus act and everyone has to come see me eating *regular* food.

YES exactly it was like I was a circus act! In our first meeting of the new academic year this person announced to everyone that I've really taken "a turn down the healthy road" and made some snide remark in front of everyone...so now I feel like I'm really on display with my foods. Irritating as heck.

I think you should get a clown nose and wear it while you eat lunch.