Why is it so hard to do again?

chanelboguslawska27

Hi everyone, i’m trying to lose weight after having kids but i’m finding it very difficult. I lost a lot of weight in the past and i was very motivated and kept to my diet and workout plan, now 4 years after having my first i’m nearly back at my 2014 weight which was 120kg, i’m 108 kg now😭. I’m trying to get back to my pre baby weight of 70kg but I’m finding it very hard, i just can’t stick to calorie counting, intermittent fasting or any other diet, I really want to lose weight but i lose motivation very easily. Any tips would be very helpful x

nossmf

@chanelboguslawska27 welcome to MFP. The simple answer to your question (why is it so much harder this time?) is right there in your introduction: kids. As a father of four, I can testify that the exhaustion is real. Physically from lack of sleep and constantly cleaning up; emotionally from always worrying if they are safe and am I doing right by them. When kids enter your world, your body takes a distant back seat in priority, and that's as it should be, the health of our kids needs to come first. Note, though, that I said "first" and not "only." Taking care of ourselves remains important, not only as a good example to our kids, but to allow us the energy to keep up with them and the hope of still being here to see them grow up and live full lives.

When our internal motivation is lagging due to fatigue, it often helps to find external motivation to support us. This can be as simple as logging into MFP every day what we eat/exercise, or joining one of the many threads in these forums where people report to each other how their day went, did they have a minor success or setback, and praise each other as much as needed.

So breathe, tell yourself that you are NOT failing, you have simply moved into a new phase of life with different demands on you, your schedule, and your energy. But this new phase doesn't have to define you; you can choose how you want to be. We can help you get there. After all, us parents need to stick together, otherwise the kids outnumber us!

thanyap_h

Me too my son was 2.5years i still hold 15kg i need back to 56 now im 71kg but im 45 years old.

Dreamroper

It's not just kids, age will do it too. I'm 69, going to be 70 in May and sometimes I tell myself I should eat whatever I want, because maybe I won't be around later and missed out on the pie and cake. But then my clothes start getting tight and I have a hard time getting up on my little horse and that's my motivation. It's different for everyone, but for me, it's those two things. I love to ride my horse, and he's small, but even an extra 10 lbs makes it hard to get up onto his back, not to mention having your jeans tight. Everyone's motivation is different, and it's a struggle for many of us. You have a support system here! We're with you!

emmamcgarity

It sounds like your current plan isn’t sustainable for your current lifestyle. I would suggest tracking and eating at maintenance calories for a while. Then once you are consistent with tracking, try taking a small deficit on some days. The weight loss will be slower, but it might be easier to sustain.

chanelboguslawska27

Thank you everyone for the replies😁 I’m only 22 so it should be easy for me to lose weight but I’m completely obsessed with food, i think about it all the time and when i start eating it’s like i can’t stop. I hate myself for it

ddsb1111

Dreamroper wrote: »

It's not just kids, age will do it too. I'm 69, going to be 70 in May and sometimes I tell myself I should eat whatever I want, because maybe I won't be around later and missed out on the pie and cake. But then my clothes start getting tight and I have a hard time getting up on my little horse and that's my motivation. It's different for everyone, but for me, it's those two things. I love to ride my horse, and he's small, but even an extra 10 lbs makes it hard to get up onto his back, not to mention having your jeans tight. Everyone's motivation is different, and it's a struggle for many of us. You have a support system here! We're with you!

I too love riding horses and connect with that source of accountability. Finding inspiration is such a gift.

Corina1143

chanelboguslawska27 wrote: »

Thank you everyone for the replies😁 I’m only 22 so it should be easy for me to lose weight but I’m completely obsessed with food, i think about it all the time and when i start eating it’s like i can’t stop. I hate myself for it

If you can't stop eating, can you substitute healthier, lower calorie food? Can you drink flavored waters? Or herbal teas? Hot or iced.
Constant eating may be constant searching for energy.
No reason to be mad at yourself for being tired or hungry.