Paying my daughter to run....

MireyGal76

we get paid to work every day.

as long as you are promoting a healthy lifestyle, I think you are ok.

piexcore

Um, people are super judgmental, and as someone who has done extensive a baby sitting and a nannying i can tell you right now, everyone bribes their children. Maybe they use trips, or books or extra tv time but its still a bribe so you should tell your critics to hop right off their moral high horse.
Also, you aren't telling her to run because shes fat. Your trying to get her to exercise to combat scoliosis, and she doesn't like to exercise. I didn't like to exercise either when i was a child (if it wasn't dance class), because I wasn't very good at it. Maybe if you bribe her a little now, it'll build up her confidence in athletic ability and improve her stamina so later she will enjoy those team sports. Do what you have to do.


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jaysull21

I think we all need some kind of motivation. I have a ten year old daughter too, and that wouldn't motivate her as much as it would motivate my 8 year old son, but he loves running anyway. Not sure what I could get her to do to run, actually. Perhaps only if a large animal was chasing her... but even then......

Anyway, as adults, we know why we are motivated. Kids for the most part don't have any reason to. I think as long as you are making sure that she knows that your reasoning is for her health, not for image concerns then I don't see where this is a problem.

itsscottwilder

I think the high priority is her health.

I don't think it's wrong to offer money.

But I think you need to know that in your daughter's mind; working out is not linked to her health and fitness. It's linked to money.

salladeve

Are you running with her? If not you should be. Kids learn the best by example, bribes are ok but will not sustain her in the long run. Doing an activity with Mom probably will.

sullus

I have a 14 year old that's a but chunky (and a 17 year old that's not). I "make" him exercise - We run (couch to 5k at the moment) or cycle (10-15 miles) 3-4x a week, and we just got a family plan at a gym (I'd like to see him doing something like a full body nautilus circuit a couple-three times a week)

He doesn't enjoy it. He wants to be on his computer. But I've had frank discussions with him about the life long impacts of going into your major growth spurt over weight. I was him at 14, and I ended up a 300lb adult. We've discussed that if he can exercise and be in shape as he grows, it's setting him up for a better chance of being an active, physically fit adult. If he doesn't he could end up like me, with a lifelong struggle with weight.

I don't think we're giving our kids image complexes. I think we're letting them know the reality of of what it takes to be physically fit. In this day of computer games and more and more sedentary "activities", formal working out is going to have to be more of a reality for more kids. It used to be that we'd just go out and play - and I encourage that in my kids, but the reality is they;re spending more time in, and sitting than kids a generation ago did, and kids need to work out these days.

ETA: I was addressing the "body image" comments, not the bribe issue. Bribes are cool. My boys play hockey - I pay them for assists, but will NOT pay them for goals (makes a selfish hockey player)

MB_Positif

Well, first of all, you are doing it at the recommendation of her doctor for health reasons so I fail to see the reason that this would be bad...except of course if you do go broke in the process! Maybe tell her you will start off doing the $1 per lap but let her know that as she becomes more advanced that you will change the incentive. Maybe after "X" number of miles the two of you can do a race together (always hefty race fees, but you'll get a free t-shirt and that might motivate her). Or "X" number of miles and any other reward she'd be interested in.

alliemarie77

I see nothing wrong with paying her for her laps. It's like paying her for her chores. Whatever drives her motivation to keep her healthy.

JenAndSome

As long as you are doing this to motivate her for her health and to help correct her scoliosis, I see nothing wrong with this. If you were on the sidelines calling her Fatty McGee or something, that would be an entirely different situation.

hep26000

I also see nothing wrong with it.
Good job momma- you have her best interest at heart. I do agree with some other pp's- I feel it would benefit both of you if you are running with her. I also think maybe you can explore swimming or another activity she might actually enjoy. But maybe she will start to like running as this goes on.

missbp

I am in a similar situation with my 12 year old daughter. She sounds exactly like your daughter, except her appetite is from her father, not me.

Like you, I have tried to motivate her in every way I could think of. Frankly, I never thought of paying her. My feelings about it are mixed. Honestly. But, I am sitting here really considering it. Really!

It sux to be overweight in middle school. It sux to be overweight at any age, but you already feel so insecure with all the hormones raging. And, I have a funny feeling the pediatric nurse practitioner who does her check ups every year, would probably support the idea if I told her about it.

Sorry I didn't really offer any advice. But, at least you know you are not alone in this.

MB

SlimJanette

I think what your doing is a good idea. It is helping her physically. Don't worry about what other people think. If you didn't do this and she got worse people would talk than too. Do what is best for her and you never know, she might love running later on. Keep up the good work!

4legsRbetterthan2

I don't really have anything against you trying to motivate your kid

Just another idea - maybe try to find ways to keep her active that are outside the norm - I hated running and sports as a kid but when I got to late middle school I started riding horses and working at a farm, its not running but I burned alot of calories walking around the farm for hours taking care of the horses and lost alot of weight. I was a band geek in middle school and when I got to high school I was able to join marching band which is also great exercise. I think encouraging her to exercise is a great idea but if she doesnt really like running maybe she can find something she does like that keeps her healthy and happy mentally too

_HeartsOnFire_

If you see those people again, ask them if they pay their kids to do chores, because technically that's child labor. So shame on them.

I never got paid for doing chores, it's called responsibility and growing up.

I think if that's what helps your daughter run and will help her health and her scoliosis more power to you!!! She doesn't see it now, but if that helps that problem I bet she'll thank you down the line for keeping on her about that!!!

Soulpaint

I think it's a great idea. I have offered my stepdaughter (who is almost 20) a trip to NYC for the day (she loves it there) as a reward for when we both hit our first major weight/fitness goal. It keeps us both on track, it's a reward for our hard work, and an incentive to keep going on the bad days.

HacheraTsarine

My daughter is your ordinary 10 yr old these days except she has scoliosis. Her scoliosis is minor and can be corrected some what with a chiropractor,basic exercise and targeted core work according to her physicians. That was not the news she wanted to hear because... she loves to be on her electronics of all types and not very active while having her momma's appetite. I had her playing soccer and she hated it bc she hates running, had her in soft ball and she thought it was boring and I was going to put her in gymnastics, but she kept breaking her right wrist... Since she has started 5th grade all she wants to do is come do her HW (which is great) and then watch TV or play games until bed... so last night I decided I need to do something different to try and motivate her. We went to the track and Oh my goodness she complained and came up with every excuse not to run until I offered to pay her $1 for every lap around the track. Light switched turned on and she immediately took off running and "Boom" 1 mile down.
Sooo next thing you know people were saying "How great it is that she likes to run" and "How long has she been running?" and when I told them what was going on they immediately changed their tune and told me I was a terrible person for making my 10 yr old exercise and how I was giving her an image complex.

Maybe I am in the wrong, but I feel as if it my responsibility to have her healthy in every aspect of her life, which should obviously include her over all health.

I don't see anything wrong with that. Children don't foresee long-term results/consequences as we are brought up to do as we age/mature. Giving her an immediate reward might put her and make her stay on track until she's old/wise enough to understand the reasons exercise are good for her, besides the extra allowance.

GemmaRowlands

There's nothing wrong with doing this - because it isn't about her image. She has been told that, for the good of her health, she should exercise, and at ten years of age she doesn't have the emotional maturity to deal with something like that. Kids think they're indestructible; they think nothing can hurt them, and that everything takes care of itself. So sometimes yes, other types of motivation need to come into play.

When she's old enough to really understand, you can explain why you did it, and explain the reasons that she needs to exercise. At that point, she will be mature enough to make up her own mind.. but until then, it sounds like you're doing a wonderful job.

CassandraBurgos83

Oh yes, I run with her! I'm hoping maybe one day she and I can do one of those fun 5k obstacle courses! She loves goofy and fun things so this would be right up our ally's! And no, I would never tell my child this is for weight loss and to look good when you're older. My family is already pre-dispositioned to diabetes, heart problems etc etc, all I want for her to be happy and healthy. Hopefully I can instill a healthy and active lifestyle that she takes with her for life.

RunWinterGarden

That's awesome, it's a great way to teach her consequences and how she can earn money through hard work. These are both VERY good things for her to learn. I would also have a negative consequence when she doesn't run for x number of days she owes you money

_HeartsOnFire_

Oh yes, I run with her! I'm hoping maybe one day she and I can do one of those fun 5k obstacle courses! She loves goofy and fun things so this would be right up our ally's! And no, I would never tell my child this is for weight loss and to look good when you're older. My family is already pre-dispositioned to diabetes, heart problems etc etc, all I want for her to be happy and healthy. Hopefully I can instill a healthy and active lifestyle that she takes with her for life.

When she is 13 you guys could do the ROC Race together. www.rocrace.com It's a bunch of fun!!!