Paying my daughter to run....

LosinItAll2012

I see nothing wrong with it!! Kids love money!!!


My husband just paid my 9 year old son $30 to cut his hair before school started!! :noway: He would've shaved it bald for that!!!

teamAmelia

I take it that you didn't tell them WHY you were having her run. My only concern is that she isn't willing to do this for her own health.

MzPix

Hi there.

I have no words of advice on the whole parenting issue. I was raised in complete poverty and never received money for anything until I got a job. I raised my kids without paying them for anything as well. But I strongly believe in the integrity of parenting and that all parents should have the right to raise their kids as they see fit. So to pay or not pay your kid to exercise, do chores, whatever, is of no interest to me.

However, I did want to input on this thread because my son has double curvature thoracolumbar scoliosis. He was diagnosed at age 7 and is now 22. He absolutely hated sports. Soccer was one of his most miserable childhood experiences. But he did have a great love for riding his bike. Until he got his driver's license... lol. He also adored swimming and general playing in the pool, but couldn't stand diving. He couldn't handle boxing or heavy lifting, but excelled at Parkour. As he got older, he tried Karate, and didn't care for it, but developed a love for Tae Kwon Do. He has stuck with TKD for quite some time now and will be competing for his black belt next year.

When he was younger he couldn't always clearly articulate why he hated certain sports and loved others. As an adult now, he is very in-tuned with his body and can better articulate himself by having a vocabulary that includes health and fitness terminology. He has told me that a lot of the physical activities weren't so much related to his likes and dislikes, but were more related to how they impacted his scoliosis. What I was hearing as a parent was "I don't like football." But what he was wanting to convey was "I'm afraid if I get tackled, it will permanently damage my back." What I was hearing was "Boxing sucks." but the meaning behind it was "The hunched positioning of boxing is causing thoracic inflammation." I wish I had known then what he meant and I wouldn't have pressured him to "stick out the season", "try try again", or "do it for the team."

Meh. He's no worse for the wear. Hindsight is always 20/20 in parenting. We all probably question if we are doing the right thing. We can only do our best. He's pretty friggin awesome at TKD now and hopes to someday open his own Dojang.

By the way, despite all the sports, and his own choice to live an adult active lifestyle, he's still a video game junkie.

Mouseanonymous802

Havent readd thread so don't know if someones already said this. But as long as your not paying her to run to look better, it's just for health due to her back then it's not different to payinng her to read or eat her veggies. It would only be bad if you told her she needed to look bettter and paid her to run then. So ignore them if they say your a bad parent because what you're doing means you're exactly the opposite

brendaj39

well I don't think what you are doing is bad,
look at it this way, if parents "reward" their kids with food, like ice cream or chocolate or a fast food place, they are called awesome parents....

but you are rewarding her for doing something good for herself, and after awhile, she'll be wanting to do it just because,

just my thought!

fbmandy55

My mom was always bringing up my weight as a child. From an early age, my mom would stare at strangers and often comment on women with good figures. To this day she still does! We were at the water park not long ago and there was a very fit young mom in the kiddie pool. She was a high school classmate of mine so I knew she was an athlete. Of course, my mom spends 5 minutes starting and then wants to critique her body to me. My mom has never been super skinny or super overweight but she has always been attractive. In her 40's now, she is still smaller than when I was young but suddenly trying all these dangerous fad diets to lose weight. Where she got her insecurity from? I do not know..

My point is, from elementary all the way through high school I was overweight. My mom would constantly try to get me to work on it in nice way. She would tell me that she wants me to be comfortable or happy with my body. No matter how she talked to me about it, I always saw it as judgement and it always made me angry. No matter how much she could have expressed health, I knew she just cared about appearance.

I liked your approach OP. Had my mom said something like that, I would have actually been into it! :laugh: Giving me an incentive rather than telling me to lose weight for my own good would have made a huge difference to me, even if that does sound crazy.

NoAdditives

Unless done with proper form, which most average runners do not have, running is not good exercise. It is very hard on the joints. Personally, I see no point in running just to run. If I were you, I would help her to find a physical activity that she actually enjoys and wants to do, like dance, or a different sport she hasn't tried yet.

TheEffort

I don't see anything wrong... it's a win-win in my book.

supertracylynn

You're not forcing her to run - you gave her an incentive and she TOOK it!! I define a bribe as "payment up front with an expectation of something to be done" - this is absolutely no different than paying your kids when they complete certain chores.

I say good for you - and I hope she continues!

This.

And make sure you run with her. You didn't say if you do or not, but it's always fun to see what they'll talk about when the endorphins kick in.

sherrirb

There are soooo many sports that she might find fun. Vollleyball, soccer, tennis, softball, etc. It might be more fun than just running. Buuuuut if she doesn't want to do sports, you might check out all of the cool aps you can get for running. If she puts her exercise into a techy type of thing maybe she would have more fun with it. Check out the Zombie runnig ap. It is pretty cool. I think it is important to start young for kids to get into exercising. Maybe if you do it with her it would be fun too.

^This!!!!!!!!!

Zombies, Run! - this app is pretty cool and she may find it fun since its on the phone and everything. I'm sure there are lots of kids app games for exercise that you can find for her to use.

I'll see if I can find a few.

Capt_Apollo

bribes are totally part of parenting. you did the right thing. she sounds like my neice, who at 17 has no interests outside of crappy pop music and social media and the internet. doesn't even care about things like cute clothes and things like that.

i wish you and her could find something she's more into. maybe martial arts? swimming?


btw, since she's into electronics and stuff, you should embrace that and make it work for you. there are tons of running apps that are basic like "mapmyrun" that can track her milage and speed and post it to facebook. and you can better track her running if you continue with the monetary incentives, that way she doesn't try and pull a fast one on you and tell you she ran 2 miles when she didn't.

Leah_Alexis

We are going through *almost* the same thing with our almost 11 year old daughter.... She's not active period. Never was. She took after me which doesn't say much - hence why i'm on this site. She loves her electronics. We've tried soccer, dance, gymnastics and something else too can't remember. Hates sports except for horseback riding but thats pretty pricey and swimming which we enroll her in through out the year. We've recently made a deal with her.... she can have up to an hour of uninterrupted time away from her younger brother that pesters her constantly but she/we must be doing something active... playing just dance on the wii, doing zumba, doing a workout video with me, go on the treadmill and watch one of her shows, try tennis, go swimming, go for a walk. Whatever her heart desires. This helps her be active and gives me some quality time with just her. Her own space away from her crazy brother is what motivates her. Money - a bit but not so much as having "free" time.

marz42

Wow I'd have loved that. And probably earned my way through college by the time I got there. That's awesome.

my mom used to pay us $10 for every book we read when i was younger.. i loved reading so it was just a plus for me, but it was her way of trying to get my brother to read more.

you're not a bad parent for doing this.. its just a little motivation.

jillybeansalad

Not any different than getting paid to do chores.

BrianHinds

There is nothing wrong with wanting your child to exercise! Mind you, you shouldn't have to pay them to do it! A great activity she might enjoy is MMA! I have been in it for years now and love it! It is great because it helps kids keep in shape and teaches kids discipline and how to reach a goal! Trust me leading martial arts doesn't make you into a killing machine either! Look into it, she might like it best of luck

Teardrop81

This is awesome. I'm really glad I went back in the posts and saw this today. My 6 year old is doing a color run with me tomorrow and I've been very worried that she's going to get tired (lazy) and throw a fit for me to carry her. I'm totally bribing her with money because I know that will work. THANKS FOR THE IDEA!!!! :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

CassandraBurgos83

This is awesome. I'm really glad I went back in the posts and saw this today. My 6 year old is doing a color run with me tomorrow and I've been very worried that she's going to get tired (lazy) and throw a fit for me to carry her. I'm totally bribing her with money because I know that will work. THANKS FOR THE IDEA!!!! :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

That is Awesome! I think you both will have a great time. We are signing up for the Firefly run in Oct and she is actually excited

Capt_Apollo

idk if money would be the first thing i try as a bribe. and not food either.

maybe some new sneakers? try the phrase "and if you like it and have fun and do your best we'll buy you a new pair of sneakers!!"