One Person, New and Old But, Never Before Active in Community

jakaram3

Hello All,

New to Community but old enough that “BBCode” and “tags” terms whiz right over my head. Educate?

I have been an MFP fan for at least a decade but, an intermittent, even limited user due to many major surgeries including, but not limited to, 5 to reconstruct collapsed spine.

Photos attached show neck 2 surgeries ago and though I haven’t any of lower back, same deal. NOT seeking sympathy but as these will speak for themselves, I welcome encouragement, advice, and companionship on my long road back to fitness.

I love the app but, it’s evolved these 10+ years so, I’m probably not using it to my full advantage. And, now that I’m back, I suffer from wanting to do everything all at once. On the one hand, that shows enthusiasm and hope. On the other, it’s overly ambitious, impractical and bordering on frustrating especially because life requirements piled up during these most recent surgery years and I’ll still be digging my way out for a while.

I’m trying to be patient and count my blessings as I couldn’t even go from bed to bathroom or sit up on the john without a walker in 2018 and I’m totally mobile today, albeit with pain that requires professional care.

When I recall being stranded alone in bed 23.5 hours a day, on highest level palliative care, I am humbled by and extremely grateful for my doctors and US medical system.

I really hope I’m not being small-minded and I know how greatly I appreciate blessings received. At the same time, prior to all this coming to a head in 2016, I had already worked my way back several times from dozens of surgeries occurring over a few decades. I had achieved a stable, happy level fitness (for a non athlete)—at least in terms of stamina, decent musculature, flexibility, agility and the big one: a body weight where I looked and felt attractive.

I hope it’s not greedy to want that again. No doctor has said it’s unachievable but, they’re not in favor of 99% of the activities I used to do. And I can feel why. For one, I’m totally unconditioned. For two, there are so many fusions and so much metalwork throughout my spine, linked to whole muscle groups that my body doesn’t work the same way and I haven’t yet learned how to use it to minimize pain from daily living much less get and commit to a personalized reconditioning program.

I’m afraid jt’s going to take a lot longer than ever before. I know I’ll never get back to where I was because of the structural changes and limitations.
I remind myself what medical miracles I have benefitted from. But I’m still worried about finding a new normal to love, a new “good” and still yields stamina, musculature, flexibility, agility, a body weight where I look and feel attractive, and MINIMAL pain or at least being able to get and sustain a new and good normal without causing myself pain pursing an old ideal maybe I just can’t have

My new limits are largely unknown but I shouldn’t put the IronMan, Mud Rucking, gymkhanas, etc. on my list. I still hope I can get to a modified version of old gym routine, which was at least as good for my brain as it was for my body. Didn’t matter that I have two left feet; Zumba, various types of dance and cali classes with weights and great music, Yoga, a little Pilates, and very nice people. I miss that intensely.

Maybe my first goals should just be incremental improvements in stamina, musculature, flexibility, agility, body weight at lower pain cost…so if I seek to ascend in levels, I won’t ignore progress in favor of an unknown finish line.Maybe I’ll find a good new normal along the way.

If I think too much about how difficult this will be and how long it will take and how many setbacks will force me to pause…I can get intimidated. Last week, for example, I hired a handyman to do work I could have done myself x years ago. Mostly, I supervised, helped a tiny bit (against his polite advice) and made him a decent lunch. Five hours of not doing much at all proved so taxing to me I spent the next 3 days in bed and am still achy.

I have some idea what the road trip back to fitness looks like from here and welcome support because set backs hurt physically and get discouraging. And, I have to get “there.” What’s the alternative? I do not dare remain deconditioned and feeling this vulnerable.

I’m grateful for MFP because, as long as I do as I’m supposed to, I can document progress on several levels even if it’s minuscule bits of progress like drinking water, walking, making intelligent food choices, getting better sleep, spending more time outside.

If I’ve learned anything (not by my success but from watching others), it’s that consistency matters more than speed, turtle and hare—except my only competitor is the impatient part of myself and the calendar.

Some of you will know what I mean when I say “time”, at least at my age, seems to pass as fast as the speed-blurred images glimpsed through portals on a bullet train hurtling wherever versus time that’s Ice Age paced, like those last minutes took during school days when some of us had classroom clocks that ticked audibly and tortuously slow towards dismissal.

So, I need to
- learn (all over again) how to move so I stop accidentally aggravating and inflaming everything below my chin;
- discover and master appropriate reconditioning activities that move me forwards while respecting new physical constraints.

This one is awful because, so far, I’m hearing one learns by experience. Some things, kind pickle ball, can be prohibited to avoid learning-by-catastrophe but, if making lunch cost me 3-5 days, I have to lower the bar even further! I don’t want to. I want to ascend not descend.

To be fair, I hadn’t done as PT advised and moved tableware and cooking necessities to counter to avoid reaching up and down. I guess that means losing shelves in refrigerator and pantry, too, or using a step ladder.

- be consistent with learning from you all and MFP then, routinely making and documenting good choices in the app, too. Eager as I am to be fighting fit again, it can’t be rushed. I’ve no other idea how to stay positive other than logging in MFP because, no matter how little each achievement may be, each one is 1; better something than nothing, literally zero; and, cumulatively, those ones add up. The Grand Canyon was carved one raindrop at a time.
I don’t have that many years but the metaphor stands.

Never having jumped into this Community before and jumping in the deep end right now—no idea what to expect. First, may I thank you for your attention and consideration? Future notes, if any, I’ll make briefer. I just figured giving a good picture of my goals and challenges may help you help me and, it almost goes without saying, I’ll be here to help you, too.

Thank you again and good health to all,
J

MargaretYakoda

Hello and welcome to the community side of MFP!

As you have probably heard, the newsfeed is going away soon. I believe that MFP hops we will shift to using groups here for support.

With that in mind, I would like to invite you to join this group that is dedicated to discussion of all aspects of diet and exercise as it relates to life and disability.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/141248-disability-chronic-illness-fitness-and-weight-management-we-are-here-we-can-do-this

I have been physically disabled for a while. I have a balance disorder that makes most exercise difficult to dangerous. Kind of a cosmic bad joke because I used to ride a unicycle
A few months ago I was rear ended and am now rehabbing a back injury.

My exercise of choice is my NuStep. You may have already used one in a physical therapy session?

We love ours. Yeah. We bought it. It’s in our living room. Lemme know if you want more details about it. It’s been an absolute game changer for myself and my husband, who was an athlete in his younger days, but now has dementia and so most exercise machines are too dangerous and/or confusing to him.

Anyway. Welcome.
It is possible to exercise and improve ourselves. It’s just a matter of finding what works best with our own specific physical needs and limitations.