What is WRONG with people?!?!

Okay, so earlier this evening I posted the following status on my Facebook page: "Okay, so I want to be able to run a 5K by next June. I've never been a runner. Even as a child I avoided running if at all possible, but now I am seeing this as something I'd like to start. I don't know if I'll sign up for an actual race, and I don't know if it will take me that long to be fit enough to do it, I may be ready before then. I'll officially start the couch to 5k plan in April if all goes well, but in the meantime I am working on losing as much weight as I can, I'd really like to be under 200 before I start the couch to 5k plan. So for now I'm continuing with T25 and lots of walking, plus counting every calorie that I consume. I guess I am officially in training now, but the first phase of the training is just general fitness, and the actual running training will begin when I am fit enough to do so without hurting myself."

Now, instead of just getting encouraging likes and "you can do it" remarks, I get someone trying to talk me into doing it sooner, or doing a half marathon instead. I reply to them, "I weigh 254 pounds, and have a foot injury that flares up when my weight gets higher than 230. I want to take the time to lose 55 pounds before I even start the running phase of the training."

And they continue to try to "encourage me" to push myself harder and go for it sooner.

I reply again, "What I am planning is to continue watching what I eat and working out for September - March or April that's 7-8 months, at around a 2 pound loss per week I'd be able to lose 56 pounds in 7 months, so I did put thought into the timing of the running. I want to be under 200 pounds before I ask my foot to take the pounding running will put on it."

Then they finally suggest walking a 5k... well, I walk not 5 kilometers, but 5 miles EVERY DAY, sometimes more. So walking a 5K isn't really a goal to aim for, I've exceeded that long ago. I want to take it slow and work up to running so that I don't injure myself and become unable to work out at all, is that so hard to understand?

What is it that makes some people think they know what's best for everyone?

Replies

jenn26point2

Honestly, I don't think so. If you focus on your foot fall and form, go slow, and stretch/warm-up/cool-down properly, repeat weeks or days when needed, then there is no reason you can't start now.

You tell me of your injuries, and I just think of all those who were in Boston that lost limbs and are back training to run only months after the attacks.

You see...when you finally become a runner, you will no longer see injuries or other things as something to hold you back, you just see them as more hills you need to climb, meaning there is a crest at some point, and finally a down hill sprint to the finish.

Maybe it is the runner in me that is failing to fully understand what is holding you back.

Well, you are welcome to your opinion about that. I don't see myself as being "held back", I see myself as making a plan to move forward at a safe pace for my body. I am not putting off training, I am starting it. I can already "run" for a considerable time on a mini trampoline (an hour or more), I can already swim for hours and hours, I can already do tough strength training. Perhaps it is because you are a runner, and I am just someone trying to get into shape, who doesn't plan to make running a lifelong focus, but who wants to be able to do it anyway.

ThriceBlessed

I think your goal is right on for your current situation and fits in line with your other goals. Stick with what you have planned. You'll do just fine. As a runner, I can promise you it's MUCH easier to do at a lighter weight. I ran 6 half marathons over 200 lbs and was injured for each one. I ended up walking most of them and was depressed and miserable b/c it didn't go the way I had hoped it would. I made a goal of reaching 183 lbs and my reward was picking and starting a half marathon training plan. I told myself I would not train for a half marathon again until I reached 183 lbs. I stuck with it and it worked. I ran a half marathon last weekend - actually RAN the whole thing, reached my time goal and felt amazing the whole time. Slow training, strengthening and weight loss will make it more enjoyable for you in the long run. Anything worth having is worth waiting for and worth working toward. Do it how you want to do it. No one knows what's best for you except for you. Move at your own speed and run your own race.

I think it's great that she was trying to push you to reach higher, but sometimes baby steps work best.

Good luck!

Thanks! :flowerforyou:

christianteach

I don't post my fitness or weight loss goals or accomplishments on facebook. MFP is much better for all things health and fitness. I get so much encouragement here from people with similar goals or those that have already accomplished much more than I would even hope for.

zanne54

Okay, so earlier this evening I posted the following status on my Facebook page: "Okay, so I want to be able to run a 5K by next June. I've never been a runner. Even as a child I avoided running if at all possible, but now I am seeing this as something I'd like to start. I don't know if I'll sign up for an actual race, and I don't know if it will take me that long to be fit enough to do it, I may be ready before then. I'll officially start the couch to 5k plan in April if all goes well, but in the meantime I am working on losing as much weight as I can, I'd really like to be under 200 before I start the couch to 5k plan. So for now I'm continuing with T25 and lots of walking, plus counting every calorie that I consume. I guess I am officially in training now, but the first phase of the training is just general fitness, and the actual running training will begin when I am fit enough to do so without hurting myself."

I support you in this! I set an interim goal of having only an "overweight" BMI before I started the C25K program. And I don't have foot/ankle issues like you do. That extra weight is really hard on your joints; especially for a high-impact activity like running. Your timeline is very reasonable and achievable, and will (hopefully) prevent you from overtraining yourself.

And just throwing this out there: if you plan to run a 5K in June, maybe consider a Try-a-Tri or a Sprint Tri later in the season/next year as your next challenge. C25K was my first goal, and as I can also swim & bike, a Try-a-Tri was my summer goal: I achieved it last Saturday.

Good luck & keep up the good work!

Mainebikerchick

FB is not overly supportive regarding fitness, in my opinion. You should post that kind of stuff here and I bet you will get positive support instead of negativity. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

cmb67

FB is like that, MFP is better

If you believe you can do it- then you will do it.

Don't give in.

I find certain things belong on MFP and not FB.

DavPul

Again, thanks everyone. My plan is to stick with my plan. And I am not upset or angry about it anymore, as I said, I was temporarily annoyed, but never really seriously angry. At any rate, I can't discuss it anymore, I posted this last night, and have spent enough time on it this morning, I need to get my workout going.

best thing i've read all morning

besaro

what's facebook?

LavenderBouquet

All that really matters is how you want to do it anyways, I don't know why you would let it bother you so much. If you post stuff out in the open on a newsfeed, you can't honestly expect opinionated people to not post their opinions, some more adamantly than others?

sandefitz

Nothing good comes from FB.

clarkeje1

When you post your goals and ambitions to a public forum such as FB, people will feel free to comment to them and give you advice. If you do not want people commenting to your goals and giving your advice, then do not post such things on FB.

Yeah. I have done the same and gotten very discouraging comments. When I told my mom I wanted to do a triathlon she said I couldn't do it. When I told my friend that I was eating at TDEE - 20% she said I am getting obsessed and she didn't want me to get an eating disorder. When I told my grandpa I was getting my scuba diving certification he said I was going to sink like a rock. The funny thing is all these people will be wrong because when I make up my mind to do something I do it. So that hasn't really stopped me from sharing things, but I'm prepared that when I do share about my goals and ambitions I might not always get an encouraging response, but I will get motivation to work harder to prove people wrong.

luckyshilling

I have a rule regarding my fitness and nutrition plans, and that is that I do not discuss my fitness and nutrition plans with anyone in real life who is not someone with whom I train. Period.

If someone happens to ask me about my fitness and nutrition programs, and I think that they are seriously asking for help, then I will offer assistance. If I do not think that they are serious, then I will respond with something along the lines of "I don't really work out much."

I have this rule, too. I have honed it over many years. If you're into this stuff for long enough, you'll work out sooner or later it bores the tits off most people. Most of the rest already think they know better than you but actually don't have any clue about it. A slim remainder are actually on your wavelength about it.

So that's what is happening to my tits?
I just thought they were shrinking due to weight loss, but now I know I can blame others for boring them off!

I'm off to start a new thread on the true reason for boob shrinkage.

ladyredeemed4

Good morning, Congrats on deciding to to a 5K. Here where I live, we have the Albany walk/run program by Jeff Galloway. There are like 5 or 6 different pace groups you can do. My first race was a 5K, then a 10K, 15K and a 1/2 marathon. (I was a little over 200 lbs. when I did the 1/2 marathon). There is an app you can download on your android "Run / Walk Intervals" and I love it. It gives you the option to start off warming up, then how many sets you want to do, (each time you walk/run, it is a set) and you can set each one differently. For example, if you want to lightly jog for 30 seconds and walk for 1 minute, it has that option. I do the minute warm up, 1 min. jog, then one minute walk. My phone vibrates when my minute is up on each.
Before joining the walk/run club, I was never a runner. I have long legs but run like a clumsy giraffe. I am flat footed, so when I did run, I shuffled, but that worked for me. Once you finish your first 5K - even if it is a run/walk, it will give you a feeling like you can do anything.
Have you tried a plastic soda bottle filled with water and frozen? Take out the freezer and while you are sitting, roll your foot over. Helps with inflammation. Oh, be careful and don't do what I did.....Because I ran a lot, I thought it was ok to eat a lot. Best of luck to you.

Mguilmot

I deleted my facebook account last week. I only have my twitter account. One way communication. I really don't care about what other people think about my goals. I put it on for the ones interested in following me.

Just do it (like Nike has been telling you for years :-)) and don't give a ... about other people. Push yourself, and listen to your body. Your body will tell you what you cannot do, not others.

ladyredeemed4

You probably already know, but make sure you have a good pair of running shoes - especially if you have foot problems. This will make a huge difference in how your feet feel. Some good shoe places will help you get the right pair. They look at you barefoot, then watch you walk, how you stand, etc.... I am a overpronator, flat feet and overweight. The shoes will cost more, but well worth it in the end.

deksgrl

This is why I don't discuss my fitness goals on FB. Most people wouldn't get it and I don't want to have to explain myself to them. A lot of people on FB aren't really "friends" they are just acquaintances, and I don't feel like discussing my personal goals or personal life with them. I suppose I could set the update so that just certain people could see it, but that takes up too much time to be bothered with that.

hellohappycarla

thanks for sharing your story, I'm actually learning a lot now and my decision has been validated - I learned to keep my mouth shut about my plans just months ago. I also do not want other people to notice the changes in my body simply because I don't want to feel over confident about my progress and then become complacent again which can result to weight gain yet again. I recently deactivated FB just to prevent myself from posting any pictures or statuses there, sometimes it becomes too much even when all you really want is to just get your thoughts out.

But anyway, you have a great plan and only you can know what's great for your body and what it can or cant take.

Good luck!

dirty_dirty_eater

Never share dreams or ambitions with anyone not able and inclined to help you.
Everyone else will hinder or distract you.

KimbersNewLife

I have a rule regarding my fitness and nutrition plans, and that is that I do not discuss my fitness and nutrition plans with anyone in real life who is not someone with whom I train. Period.

If someone happens to ask me about my fitness and nutrition programs, and I think that they are seriously asking for help, then I will offer assistance. If I do not think that they are serious, then I will respond with something along the lines of "I don't really work out much."

I have this rule, too. I have honed it over many years. If you're into this stuff for long enough, you'll work out sooner or later it bores the tits off most people. Most of the rest already think they know better than you but actually don't have any clue about it. A slim remainder are actually on your wavelength about it.

All very good advice that I am going to take!!! I bore people to tears, and irritate them since I am nowhere near my goal weight. It's annoying to me and to them. I am going to just shut my mouth and show it with my body. They will see the difference, then if they ask I will share. In the meantime, I am tired of letting everyone else's two cents bring me down. It's like I will finally get on track and start seeing changes and then someone will get me all psyched about no carb this or gluten that and the next thing I know I have this impossible diet that does not work for me. It's like a roller coaster ride.... I am getting off as of right now!! Thanks guys... again... great advice!!

clarkeje1

There is actually a study that says that if you discuss your goals and plans you are less likely to achieve them. After reading an article about that study, I've kept mum about my plans and goals.

I'm about to reach a milestone this weekend. I'll share the info after the fact, though. I haven't told anyone what I'm up to, and I'm approaching my goal much faster than I would have guessed.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/05/12/talking-the-talk.html

I thought if you told people your goals you were MORE likely to reach them. That's what I've heard anyway. I don't know.

ThriceBlessed

I have a rule regarding my fitness and nutrition plans, and that is that I do not discuss my fitness and nutrition plans with anyone in real life who is not someone with whom I train. Period.

If someone happens to ask me about my fitness and nutrition programs, and I think that they are seriously asking for help, then I will offer assistance. If I do not think that they are serious, then I will respond with something along the lines of "I don't really work out much."

I have this rule, too. I have honed it over many years. If you're into this stuff for long enough, you'll work out sooner or later it bores the tits off most people. Most of the rest already think they know better than you but actually don't have any clue about it. A slim remainder are actually on your wavelength about it.

So that's what is happening to my tits?
I just thought they were shrinking due to weight loss, but now I know I can blame others for boring them off!

I'm off to start a new thread on the true reason for boob shrinkage.

LOL! :laugh:

aphroditesmaiden

People who aren't involved in weight loss usually don't understand it. Wait til you get the, "Don't lose any more weight" comments. I started getting those when I was 160lbs... I'm 5'4''... Is anyone f*#$ing home? ... Facebook just... kinda sucks.

RoseTears143

If you are doing T25 with a foot injury that flares up but don't want to start jogging and walking - that makes no sense to me at all. T25 is a hardcore program

MizTerry

Why does that bother you?
That was Facebook.
This is MFP. This is why I spend most of my time HERE.

peeaanuut

the common logic of the world is that fat people are stupid. Their logic seems to transcend into other things.

"Oh you're too stupid to eat right, you must not be able to operate a car properly"
"Of course your computer crashed, you're fat"

Its a pretty ignorant way of thinking, but in general, people think fat people are stupid, so when we put our goals out there that we have all thought long and hard on most people think we dont know what we are doing and discount it as us being stupid. The worst part is that they dont realize they are doing it, its just 2nd nature to them.

I general I go with the "suck it" attitude now. Im not doing this for anyone else, Im doing it for me and if others cant get with me on my goals about me, they can suck it.

lilawolf

Sounds like you have a good, well thought out plan. Stick to it and ignore everyone else. She probably meant well, but some people really, REALLY want to help :-p. Here is my spot of unsolicited advice: If you like zombies and you think a little fun might make your runs (when you get there) more enjoyable, try Zombies, Run! They have a 5k trainer (that I haven't tried), but you are playing a listening to a story and accomplishing missions by running. Sounds like fun lol. You can also play your own music in between story bits.

Anywho, good luck!

judilockwood

WOW you do T25, that sounds so hard!! I train 3 or 4 times a week but probs not as hard as that with good results - I might try T25 and see what happens, nearly at goal. I'm now looking at maintenance and this might help my exercise program. Point is, only do what you're comfortable with, you know your body better than anyone else, and should progress without risking hurting yourself x

AglaeaC

The way I see it...and this is strictly my view of it.....I think the person who was responding to you on facebook was trying to point out to you that you don't have to be a certain weight to start the C25K program.

In the C25K group I have seen several 200+ people start and complete the program successfully. And that includes some people that were closer to the 250/300 pound mark. If you are walking 5+ miles a day, you are more than ready for something like C25K. I understand your wanting to be below 200 pounds to start, and if that is what you -want- to do then fine.

But I honestly don't think it is fair to vent anger about someone who was only trying to encourage you to not look at weight as a something that holds you back.

This.

Thanks everyone, I am pretty sure the person meant it as encouragement.

Why ask what's wrong with them then? Publicly criticizing friends hardly is constructive. Either you dwell on it or you ignore and move one. If you don't want a vast array of advice and comments, keep your plans to yourself. I only started posting about my successes on FB after I had created something of a habit of C25K, but I still don't invite to a deep analysis of what my plan is; it's none of their business.

pg1derful

Years ago I had a friend who asked me if she could run with me. She was a bigger woman with asthma. She started jogging for 30 seconds with 3-4 minutes in between. After a few weeks she could jog for longer periods with less rest and we eventually ran a marathon together in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. My point is she did what worked for her and I didn't try to push her in any way (even though I was a seasoned runner). It was a great experience for both of us. Take your time and listen to your body.

garber6th

the common logic of the world is that fat people are stupid. Their logic seems to transcend into other things.

"Oh you're too stupid to eat right, you must not be able to operate a car properly"
"Of course your computer crashed, you're fat"

Its a pretty ignorant way of thinking, but in general, people think fat people are stupid, so when we put our goals out there that we have all thought long and hard on most people think we dont know what we are doing and discount it as us being stupid. The worst part is that they dont realize they are doing it, its just 2nd nature to them.

I general I go with the "suck it" attitude now. Im not doing this for anyone else, Im doing it for me and if others cant get with me on my goals about me, they can suck it.

Seriously, a lot of this. I actually told someone who was trying to give me some not so great advice, "I'm fat, not retarded".

I really try not to talk about my weight loss with too many people, and I don't post on FB. Only close friends and family know what I am doing, and even then I don't go into a whole lot of detail. Everyone wants to give their two cents worth, everyone thinks they know what's best, but not everyone knows what's best for me.