Intense Plateau

jouerdieu

Hello everyone. My name is Frey and over the past 8 years I've lost 135lbs, then gained 30lb back during covid that I haven't been able to loose. But it's been a year, and I'm literally the same weight. HELP.

It's a long post, not sorry about it.
Female- 6'1" - 200lbs - goal: 165lb

A year ago, I decided to crack down on the covid weight. I figured it wouldn't be terribly hard to do considering my previous weightloss experience. Six months passed and zero lbs lost, same body/fat/muscle mass, and no physical change to my body. So I went to my nutrionist, paid for 2 days with a trainer (single mom/income household- I saved up for 4 months for those two sessions- so it's not an option anymore) I got meal plans, my correct macros, focused workout regimes that I meticulously followed for 6 months.

Well, still following to this day. Here is a breakdown of what I've done/do:

I stay hydrated drinking just over the recommended amount or more everyday (sometimes a coke zero here and there) meeting my protein needs, in calorie deficit, I don't EVER go over my fat macro. I've gone off and on my birth control, with consol from my PCP. I've seen nutrionists and personal trainers. I go harder and harder at the gym, going up in weight and longer and fast cardio, different types of cardio and weight training. I've tried 3 day fasts, cleanses, intermediate fasts and quit drinking alcohol/smoking pot.

My day at a glance:
I wake up, make my lil witches brew: bone broth, shilajit, cloves and tumeric tea. I go on a 30 min walk and drink my first 20oz of water. I get home and I drink my protein shake with my fat burner and creatine if I need it and go to the gym. I do at least 30 min on the treadmill, elevated walk/run (450cal burn on average) (my go to cardio but not only cardio), then to the weights for 45 minutes, then to sauna for 15 minutes. I may do a small at home workout and usually another walk.

It sounds like I'm lying. That I've tried all of this- AND BEEN CONSISTENT for a YEAR - with absolutely NO FKIN MOVEMENT. I cry about it all the time. The gym and exercise isn't fun like it used to be. I was happy with my body even being overweight, but now I despise it, like it's keeping the fat on to spite me. I hate getting dressed, looking in the mirror or even thinking about dating. Everything else in my life is so spectacular, yet this overshadows all the good somedays when I do my bi-weekly body scan and see no changes. My doctors and the PT are confused, too.

The only thing I haven't done is the genetics test, that's $200ish. I'm saving up for that but... not really. I make ok money, I'm not in survival mode, but there is a long list of priorities before it that are borderline emergencies. And I didn't need all this fat burner, strictest diet, being completely sober to lose the 135lbs in the first 4 years.

To work this hard for so long, desperately, changing my entire lifestyle, being "that person" at all the gatherings that can't eat freely. I'm going 5x harder than the 135lb lift. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. What I need to do different. I feel like I've tried everything but the genetics test and consistent PT trainings that I simply cannot afford.

Someone, anyone - have you seen this or dealt with this before? I won't give up, but I'm so tired and let down. One year. And nothing.