Struggling with calories

courtneylove6
courtneylove6 Posts: 7 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm female, young, 5'8 and 127 lbs.
Intro: I'd just like to say that I had a lot of issues with food in my past. I'm a lot better now. But I am just trying to tone up, eat healthier/more mindfully, and weight loss isn't even necessarily my goal, it's more so just healing my hormones and thyroid and overall quality of life. I'm vegetarian and trying to follow "intuitive eating"

Problem: I'm struggling making sure I get enough calories in a day. My tendencies have always been to over-restrict (I won't say numbers in case it's triggering), and now that I'm actually interested in food and eating and I'm feeling better, I'm realizing just how hard it is to hit my goal of 1500 while also eating what I want. My appetite is small and I don't often get too hungry, and when I do eat my meals are almost never over 400 calories unless I'm eating out. But on days where I try to incorporate more caloric foods, I end up binging later and regretting it.

Question: How can I find balance and make sure I'm eating enough (while still maintaining a caloric deficit) while also following my hunger patterns and honoring my cravings (which I honestly do crave low-calorie foods)

Replies

  • MargaretYakoda
    MargaretYakoda Posts: 2,997 Member
    I have in the past had a problem remembering to eat (AûHD) and I’ve made a habit of setting a minimum as well as a maximum calorie goal for the day.

    Other things you can do:
    Cheese sticks or single servings like Baby Bel or Tillamook. This adds protein so that’s a bonus.
    Peanut butter also is nutritious and packs a decent amount of calories.
    Eggs are awesome. Consider egg salad or an egg bite. You can get a microwave egg bite maker for extreme ease of preparation. Add in bacon bites, a pinch of cheddar, and any leftover veggies you like. Absolutely delicious.
  • ddsb1111
    ddsb1111 Posts: 885 Member
    edited November 25
    courtneylove6 wrote: »
    I'm female, young, 5'8 and 127 lbs.
    Intro: I'd just like to say that I had a lot of issues with food in my past. I'm a lot better now. But I am just trying to tone up, eat healthier/more mindfully, and weight loss isn't even necessarily my goal, it's more so just healing my hormones and thyroid and overall quality of life. I'm vegetarian and trying to follow "intuitive eating"

    Problem: I'm struggling making sure I get enough calories in a day. My tendencies have always been to over-restrict (I won't say numbers in case it's triggering), and now that I'm actually interested in food and eating and I'm feeling better, I'm realizing just how hard it is to hit my goal of 1500 while also eating what I want. My appetite is small and I don't often get too hungry, and when I do eat my meals are almost never over 400 calories unless I'm eating out. But on days where I try to incorporate more caloric foods, I end up binging later and regretting it.

    Question: How can I find balance and make sure I'm eating enough (while still maintaining a caloric deficit) while also following my hunger patterns and honoring my cravings (which I honestly do crave low-calorie foods)

    A few technical questions first-

    How many lbs are you losing per week?
    How many lbs have you lost in a month?
    How many have you lost in the last 3 months?

    Okay, diving in with my limited knowledge about you, but hopefully something good sticks-

    It doesn’t matter how many calories you have in a meal, how many meals you have, or when you have meals. The only thing that matters is your average calories. If you’re not losing weight, or losing very minimally, your calories are likely not the problem, but your approach to food. Look up binge and restrict cycles, and read what it does to you. Being afraid of food is something that you could work through in therapy, and not something a different meal plan will help.

    You’re not alone. Most people you find in a food tracking website have or have had this problem, and I certainly empathize with you. In my experience, no magical pill, diet, or macros will resolve your restricting and binging. You have to heal your relationship with food, and learn you are allowed to take up space, eat and enjoy your food, and find balance in meals. For me, it was breaking things down to the basics and mastering that before adding a new goal. These include:

    1. No food is off limits- no more demonizing food

    2. Tracking calories is a tool- tracking taught me what my habits are, what food made me happy, made me satiated, and what gave me energy. I learned how to find a balance with the calories I had available in my goals (guilt free!)

    3. Listen to your body- sometimes we’re hungry! Not everyday is the same so quit treating it like it is. For example, just because I didn’t feel hungry Monday doesn’t mean everyday I have to eat like I did on Monday. Treat your calories as a bank, and borrow calories if you need to, or reassess how quickly you’re losing- it may be too fast. But, depending on your cycle, or activity level that day, you may need more calories than you’re allowing. It would be a disservice to ignore your body when it’s asking for help.

    4. Make sure you have food available- having food that keeps hunger in check prevented a lot of binges for me. At the beginning one of the most important things I ever did for myself was not allowing myself to get hungry. It was the first time in my life I ever remember allowing myself to eat to prevent overeating later. This was a lightbulb moment. This was the beginning of healing those ingrained restricting cycles, and seeing food as a part of life.

    Sending you a hug. Don’t forget to love yourself and the body that supports you.
  • courtneylove6
    courtneylove6 Posts: 7 Member
    You guys, thanks a lot. Tearing up at these messages. I'm not fully recovered because I don't think anyone ever will be, these are the kinds of things that stick with you forever I find, but I'm trying to get better and actively work through these things. Thanks, I really appreciate it
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,617 Member
    I'm cheering for you to succeed here: It sounds like you're on a good overall path, seeking health and balance, heathy eating habits, getting physically fitter . . . that's all good stuff!

    I wish I had good advice for you, because I'd like to help, but undereating isn't something I've mostly had to deal with for myself.

    I do understand craving healthy foods, because I do love my veggies and such. (Sometimes people here say no one craves broccoli. They're wrong! ;):D Lummesome broccoli!) BTW, I'm also vegetarian, and have been for over 50 years.

    The only thing I could suggest, not sure it would suit you, would be to try to get some more calorie-dense, not-too-filling foods into your regular rotation if possible. In my world, that would be things like avocadoes, nuts, nut butters, seeds, and that sort of thing. Those are healthy fat sources, and we need a certain minimum of fats for best health and thriving.

    There are also some fruits, maybe especially dried fruits, that are less filling for some people yet nutritious. (Dates spring to mind as an example.) Some people find foods they drink (like smoothies or juices) less filling than foods they chew. I don't know whether that would be true for you.

    Personally, I also like to use a small dollop of a good brand of blackstrap molasses in some things, such as my oatmeal. Yes, that's added sugar technically speaking, but in a form that's surprisingly high in mineral micronutrients (calcium, iron, potassium), even in just a tablespoon, which is about 63 calories. I don't know whether you like the flavor, but I do, and those are micronutrients that can be a bit more challenging to get from food sources as a vegetarian. (IMO brand does matter. Some have better flavor and better micros than others, for sure.)

    Grains, pseudo grains (such as quinoa), and starchy veggies are also a bit more calorie dense but also nutrient-dense, though some people do find those more filling.

    I also think it can be fine to include some less nutrient-dense but calorie-dense foods, too, once reasonably good nutrition has been dialed in, in order to reach adequate calories. Calories are fuel, and adequate fuel (calories per se) is the basic foundation of nutritional adequacy and health, a foundation we need in order to build more nuanced, detailed nutrition (macros, micros, beneficial phytochemicals, fiber, etc.).

    Toning specifically and physical fitness generally are also built with adequate calories (fuel) as the foundation.

    However, if you don't personally enjoy any less nutrient-dense but more calorie-dense foods, or they trigger binges for you, they're not a good solution for you. Individuals seem to vary a lot in appetite, plus in which specific foods are more/less filling, or more/less likely to trigger cravings. It does seem to take a bit of personal experimentation, which can be scary at times.

    For me, it helped to frame some of those experiments as learning experiences, i.e., it was OK to try something that didn't work out well, because it helped me cross off tactics that didn't work for me, and eventually home in on others that did. YMMV.

    Regardless, I wish you the best here, and hope you'll keep participating in the MFP Community. That's been helpful for me, and I hope it might be for you, too. I think most everyone truly wants to help, but there's a diverse range of communication styles, anything from "tough love" to "warm'n'fuzzy", from rambling and nuanced to short and pithy, and everything in between. Sometimes we may need to ignore what doesn't suit our needs, and focus on the messages that resonate most with our own communication style.

    Best wishes!
  • springlering62
    springlering62 Posts: 8,679 Member
    edited December 1
    I log several days in advance.

    I know what are my “extra tough” workout days, which is my “rest” day, and which are active, but less so.

    I start with my recommended calorie allotment and try to make sure I plan on using every calorie.

    That means planning breakfast, lunch and dinner, but also multiple snacks and dessert.

    I shoot for certain macro goals, so I check the pre-logging on macros as I log to see if I’m going to make that goal. If not, I’ll swap something out, or adjust a quantity. (Today it was the amount of chicken in my homemade fajitas. I added a couple of ounces to boost my protein.)

    Keeping in mind the above-average and extra active days, I’ll go ahead and pre-plan a large extra snack or two. If I find myself outrunning my planned calories, I’m flexible enough to allow myself a “heavy hitter” like a fancy coffee and a lovely brownie from the bakery.

    It sounds like a lot of trouble, but once you get the hang of it, it’s easy to do quickly, and to adjust on the fly. Couldn’t get a couple of smaller snack in because of a doctor’s appointment? I might swap in a coconut chocolate cottage cheese and Corepower smoothie to use up those calories and give me an extra hit of protein.

    A lot of people with histories of eating disorders say that logging and counting calories can be triggering. For me, it’s the opposite. It gives me the confidence that I’m fueling myself enough, and also that I can actually enjoy good, tasty food while doing so.

    It also helps me plan my grocery list. If I go in with a list, I stick to it. I very rarely buy something that’s not on the list, unless it’s something I use up regularly. (Like stumbling onto a BOGO on the Bisquick I use as a base for my own-recipe Devil’s Food protein pancakes.)

    Old me couldn’t walk past a BOGO of any kind without succumbing to the “great deal”. Boy, could I rationalize! There were always BOGOS ON THE CANDY/cookie aisle. New me looks at the list and walks right past them.

    That preplanned grocery list gives me confidence as well.

  • courtneylove6
    courtneylove6 Posts: 7 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    I'm cheering for you to succeed here: It sounds like you're on a good overall path, seeking health and balance, heathy eating habits, getting physically fitter . . . that's all good stuff!

    I wish I had good advice for you, because I'd like to help, but undereating isn't something I've mostly had to deal with for myself.

    I do understand craving healthy foods, because I do love my veggies and such. (Sometimes people here say no one craves broccoli. They're wrong! ;):D Lummesome broccoli!) BTW, I'm also vegetarian, and have been for over 50 years.

    The only thing I could suggest, not sure it would suit you, would be to try to get some more calorie-dense, not-too-filling foods into your regular rotation if possible. In my world, that would be things like avocadoes, nuts, nut butters, seeds, and that sort of thing. Those are healthy fat sources, and we need a certain minimum of fats for best health and thriving.

    There are also some fruits, maybe especially dried fruits, that are less filling for some people yet nutritious. (Dates spring to mind as an example.) Some people find foods they drink (like smoothies or juices) less filling than foods they chew. I don't know whether that would be true for you.

    Personally, I also like to use a small dollop of a good brand of blackstrap molasses in some things, such as my oatmeal. Yes, that's added sugar technically speaking, but in a form that's surprisingly high in mineral micronutrients (calcium, iron, potassium), even in just a tablespoon, which is about 63 calories. I don't know whether you like the flavor, but I do, and those are micronutrients that can be a bit more challenging to get from food sources as a vegetarian. (IMO brand does matter. Some have better flavor and better micros than others, for sure.)

    Grains, pseudo grains (such as quinoa), and starchy veggies are also a bit more calorie dense but also nutrient-dense, though some people do find those more filling.

    I also think it can be fine to include some less nutrient-dense but calorie-dense foods, too, once reasonably good nutrition has been dialed in, in order to reach adequate calories. Calories are fuel, and adequate fuel (calories per se) is the basic foundation of nutritional adequacy and health, a foundation we need in order to build more nuanced, detailed nutrition (macros, micros, beneficial phytochemicals, fiber, etc.).

    Toning specifically and physical fitness generally are also built with adequate calories (fuel) as the foundation.

    However, if you don't personally enjoy any less nutrient-dense but more calorie-dense foods, or they trigger binges for you, they're not a good solution for you. Individuals seem to vary a lot in appetite, plus in which specific foods are more/less filling, or more/less likely to trigger cravings. It does seem to take a bit of personal experimentation, which can be scary at times.

    For me, it helped to frame some of those experiments as learning experiences, i.e., it was OK to try something that didn't work out well, because it helped me cross off tactics that didn't work for me, and eventually home in on others that did. YMMV.

    Regardless, I wish you the best here, and hope you'll keep participating in the MFP Community. That's been helpful for me, and I hope it might be for you, too. I think most everyone truly wants to help, but there's a diverse range of communication styles, anything from "tough love" to "warm'n'fuzzy", from rambling and nuanced to short and pithy, and everything in between. Sometimes we may need to ignore what doesn't suit our needs, and focus on the messages that resonate most with our own communication style.

    Best wishes!

    Thank you so much. These are some great and amazing ideas! I've never thought of adding molasses but that sounds amazing, definitely will try! For healthy fats I've been eating lots of avocados and making sure I'm cooking my eggs with a high-quality olive oil. Have felt better, more satiated since!
    You're so kind and thanks for the advice :)
  • Corina1143
    Corina1143 Posts: 3,832 Member
    Just one thought.
    If you can't eat large meals, can you eat more meals?
    Or snacks like celery stuffed with a little peanut butter or pimento cheese? Light, but somewhat nourishing high calorie things.
  • ddsb1111
    ddsb1111 Posts: 885 Member
    A lot of people with histories of eating disorders say that logging and counting calories can be triggering. For me, it’s the opposite. It gives me the confidence that I’m fueling myself enough, and also that I can actually enjoy good, tasty food while doing so.

    I was one of those people that knew every calorie in the foods I ate, and had no idea how to diet in a safe way. You’d think tracking would trigger me as well, but it was the complete opposite. It gave me the ability to learn about natural weight fluctuations, how food made me feel, and gave me permission to eat. Not to hold off eating for as long as possible and then eat, but to truly eat, guilt free! It really can be a super power for some people.
  • ddsb1111
    ddsb1111 Posts: 885 Member
    edited December 2
    Corina1143 wrote: »
    Just one thought.
    If you can't eat large meals, can you eat more meals?
    Or snacks like celery stuffed with a little peanut butter or pimento cheese? Light, but somewhat nourishing high calorie things.

    This is a good suggestion from Corina. I’m similar in that I’m rarely hungry, so I save my calories for dinner and eat a meal I really love and enjoy, and get the calories I need for the day. Depending on your TDEE, maybe 4-5 400 calorie meals would make you feel better. You can choose how many meals you have and your meal time, there’s no right or wrong answer. Curate these choices to best suit your personal needs.

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