Really struggling

Slaymateoftheyear

Hi, I’m a 46 year old female. I have been struggling with a significant weight gain as of recently. I have put on 20 pounds or so and it feels like it happened out of nowhere. I’m struggling with losing it, I’m feeling defeated. I play roller derby, I started going to the gym, changed jobs. I know it won’t happen immediately. But I just feel so depressed and low energy. I’m sure this is the beginning stages of hormone changes and that also makes me feel hopeless. Just looking for any advice on what could work best for this rapid gain and it’s all in my gut!

robertw486

There are a couple of specific exercises that help the most with weight gain. Mostly table push aways and fork put downs. They are proven to be effective.

But on a more serious note, it'a all about calorie deficit and energy balance. If you can control your diet you can control your weight. Don't let hormone changes change your life more than it has to. There are plenty of fit women that lived though it and may be able to offer good advice. If you read the stickied "Most Helpful Posts" sections at the top of any category they contain some great threads that will help. Beyond that never be afraid to ask.... for advice, support, a shoulder to cry on, new exercise ideas, or anything else that pops into your mind.

Believe it or not, you probably have an advantage over many people in your position. I'm assuming Roller Derby takes some fairly solid legs under you, and you can use that to your advantage since big muscle groups burn more calories. Done properly, you can lose weight and retain most of that muscle.

Aaaannnnndddd.... you really can't control where you will burn fat. But if most of it showed up on your stomach, chances are that is the first place you will lose it. And if you stick with it, you can be slimmed down in time for the "Slaymate of the Year" calendar too. BUT keep in mind since fat kind of goes or disappears where it wants, there is no need to do massive core work unless you want to work on your core. It really don't help with "spot reducing".

Don't feel hopeless. Instead feel motivated to take control and change it. It can be done.

totameafox

You can gain control. you just have to put in the work to be mindful of your health. Feel free to join my group and I'll be happy to offer emotional support on your journey.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/147555-speak-friend-and-enter

AnnPT77

Slaymateoftheyear wrote: »

Hi, I’m a 46 year old female. I have been struggling with a significant weight gain as of recently. I have put on 20 pounds or so and it feels like it happened out of nowhere. I’m struggling with losing it, I’m feeling defeated. I play roller derby, I started going to the gym, changed jobs. I know it won’t happen immediately. But I just feel so depressed and low energy. I’m sure this is the beginning stages of hormone changes and that also makes me feel hopeless. Just looking for any advice on what could work best for this rapid gain and it’s all in my gut!

Have you checked in with your doctor? There are certain health conditions that can slow us down that become more common with age, such as hypothyroidism (which is especially common in women) or certain nutrient deficiencies. If that kind of thing is happening, diagnosis and medical management can be a piece of the puzzle.

Also, I hate to say it, but certain health conditions - including some less likely but serious ones - can cause sudden weight gain, especially gain in central girth. Checking in with the doctor is good for that reason, too, if only for reassurance.

It's really common to attribute changes to hormonal differences, but there can be a lot more going on. But if the problem is hormonal, HRT may be an option. I can't do it because of my specific breast cancer history, but some other women find it helpful. (Chemotherapy put me in menopause around age 45, but I lost weight, obese to healthy weight at 59-60, have stayed in the same jeans size for 9+ years since.)

If the problem is hormonal, beyond the possibility of HRT, that's just a fact. We need to deal with the current situation if we can't change it, whatever it is. IMO, the only reason to think about challenges is to figure out how to get over, around, through, or otherwise past them. (Dwelling on "it's so hard" helps nothing, right? )

It sounds like you're doing great on the exercise front, though it isn't clear to me how much of that if any is new all at once. My underlying concern is that a sudden ramp up in exercise can cause compensatory fatigue that bleeds activity out of the rest of our day via low energy, so we burn fewer calories in other ways than we'd expect, effectively wiping out some of the exercise calorie burn. I'm way older than you, and I'm for sure less resilient to that kind of overdoing than I was at 20, so ramping up gradually and managing recovery carefully is part of the formula. After all, recovery is where the magic happens: The body rebuilding better.

Beyond that, I'm with Robert: IME, the key to success is managing the eating side of the equation. For many people, calorie needs decline gradually with age for a variety of reasons. Some have to do with more placid daily lives than we had at 20, or reduced muscle mass, and those are things we can counter to some extent. Other underlying causes of that may be less directly modifiable (mitochondrial efficiency, etc.).

In one sense, that doesn't matter, either: Whatever determines our calorie needs, they are where they are right now, even if we can improve on it over time. We need to eat fewer calories than we burn in all ways right now to start losing weight right now. (Sensibly moderate loss would be best. ) Logging food and calorie counting is one way to do that, though not the only way.

I hear your sense of hopelessness and low mood. If you need direct help sorting through that, there should be no stigma attached. Just like we call a plumber for help when there's a problem with pipes leaking, we can get some counseling help with there's a problem with thought patterns. That's why credentialed professionals exist.

Beyond that, I'd say this: If you can take the reins and start to make some manageable changes in your life, changes that lead in a positive direction, there's a good chance that will feel empowering. Certainly, if you can stick with it long enough to see some positive outcomes from manageable changes, those results will feel empowering. IME, that empowerment builds on itself, and can develop a higher sense of self-confidence and even improved self-concept. I know that takes energy to start. But if you can, give it a try.

I'm wishing you success. It's out there, if you move toward it persistently, even if slowly. If you have specific questions or roadblocks, ask questions here: Most people here truly want to help others, IME. If you feel up to it, come back to this thread and let us know about your progress. I'm cheering for you to succeed, because the quality of life improvement is worth the effort!