No one cares what I'm accomplishing

Zorx
Zorx Posts: 15
in Fitness and Exercise
Hey guy's. Lately I've realized that my own glee when I accomplish some diet or exercise feat is not enough to get me to push myself more.

My entire family has no problem exercising, so when I come to them saying something like 'I just reached a goal I've been trying to accomplish for a month( a 5k run)' They act bored and say 'good for you, now go stretch'

Today, I sliced 5 minutes off my best time on a run. When I got home I told my father, and he didn't even look away from his game of solitaire or make any acknowledgment of me saying something.

Why am I doing this if no one cares? I honestly don't want to only bi*ch about my family, but I need another venue to get motivation from. Even if someone smiled and nodded when I mentioned something I've been working super hard on would be nice.
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Replies

  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
    You shouldn't be doing this for anyone else but yourself.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    I have MFP friends to tell about my fitness accomplishments, because IRL people don't want to hear about that shiz all the time. People that are already fit aren't impressed and unfit people feel like you're harassing them about their sedentary lives. Get with friends here, it will help your progress and your IRL relationships.
  • Zorx
    Zorx Posts: 15
    I know, but on hard days, unless I am noticed, I end up screwing over my entire plan.It's like a relapse, and it can last for weeks, which just hurts when I worked so much for results.
  • Julesbait
    Julesbait Posts: 190 Member
    Don't do it because anyone else cares. Do it because you care about yourself.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    I know, but on hard days, unless I am noticed, I end up screwing over my entire plan.It's like a relapse, and it can last for weeks, which just hurts when I worked so much for results.

    huh?

    unless you are noticed you screw up your plan? i dont get it.
  • erikmsp72
    erikmsp72 Posts: 137 Member
    Well, whatever your family says or doesn't say -- forget that. *I* say, "Well done!" Five minutes off your time is fantastic! Good job.
  • cdahl383
    cdahl383 Posts: 726 Member
    Personally I feel you are looking for motivation in the wrong places. I agree that its nice to get compliments about weight loss or acknowledgement from family members/friends when you accomplish something, but it shouldn't be expected or required to keep you going. It should just be bonus motivation. The real core motivation to keep you going should come from within, whatever that may be. You have to believe in yourself and that you can do it, because if you yourself don't believe, who else will?
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    I know, but on hard days, unless I am noticed, I end up screwing over my entire plan.It's like a relapse, and it can last for weeks, which just hurts when I worked so much for results.

    ...You have a long way to go, and a lot to learn.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    good for you dude. but seriously, go stretch.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    Hey guy's. Lately I've realized that my own glee when I accomplish some diet or exercise feat is not enough to get me to push myself more.

    My entire family has no problem exercising, so when I come to them saying something like 'I just reached a goal I've been trying to accomplish for a month( a 5k run)' They act bored and say 'good for you, now go stretch'

    Today, I sliced 5 minutes off my best time on a run. When I got home I told my father, and he didn't even look away from his game of solitaire or make any acknowledgment of me saying something.

    Why am I doing this if no one cares? I honestly don't want to only bi*ch about my family, but I need another venue to get motivation from. Even if someone smiled and nodded when I mentioned something I've been working super hard on would be nice.

    I dunno. Why are you doing it? Did you expect to be swamped in congratulations for running, or something?

    Yeah, that's harsh, but..... why are you doing it again?
  • callas444
    callas444 Posts: 261 Member
    To make permanent changes in not just your body but your lifestyle, you have to do it for you. Support is awesome ( my mfp buddies are the best!) But ultimately it's me that takes the stairs and parks far away to get my steps in for the day. And if I sabotage myself, I only hurt myself.

    Those pity me calories are not as sweet as they might seem at the time. And when you wreck the burn of a really good run with those pity calories, that is a sad accomplishment.

    You are worth making changes to be a healthier you. Believe it to achieve it!
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
    Do it for yourself.
  • JuantonBliss
    JuantonBliss Posts: 245 Member
    I kind of get where you're coming from. I get the same feeling when I go food shopping with my mom. I'm vegetarian and she gives me looks when I choose the organic things/meat substitute options to put into the cart, which I can understand. Yes they're more expensive, but I don't make them the primary thing that I eat because of this. I know we're on a budget, so I only get a few things, but I still wish that she wouldn't be a complete ***** in how she goes about doing things because honestly, I'm not going to change my eating habits. I'd rather just eat peanut butter and bread then go back.

    But like the others have said, you have to do this for yourself. If you continue to seek your families approval, you will continue to be unfulfilled.
  • FrankiesSaysRelax
    FrankiesSaysRelax Posts: 403 Member
    You're looking for motivation in the wrong places. You are doing this for yourself not your friends/family and their approval. Is it nice to get compliments or have people be happy for you? Absolutely! But it shouldn't derail all your progress because you aren't getting enough attention. This website can be great for that- post here and many people will be genuinely happy for you. I think you might want to reassess why you're doing this and try to remember what's important is your fitness goals!
  • rosellasweet
    rosellasweet Posts: 163 Member
    You shouldn't be doing this for anyone else but yourself.

    BINGO. It's a great lesson to apply to other areas of your life also.
  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
    NO ONE acknowledges my hard work. I don't care. I do, and I'm doing it for me. Period.
  • pwittek10
    pwittek10 Posts: 723 Member
    You are doing this for you!
    Praise yourself, you are worth it!
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
    Find some good friends on here who will give you a WTG on your news feed or post an NSW to the forum and wait for all the comments. Sometimes the people in our lives who don't share our passion for fitness don't get the importance of the milestones and the amount or hardwork it takes. Sometimes they do but having you saying it to the reminds them of their own inadequacies. Another option is to make some IRL friends who have similar goals and will encourage you.
  • Zorx
    Zorx Posts: 15
    Okay, I'll work harder on doing this for myself. Thanks guys, I guess I need other human beings to point out when my thoughts don't make reasonable sense. :)
  • whitlisd
    whitlisd Posts: 85
    I have been heavy and have dieted my entire life. What I am JUST learning at age 41 is that no one wants to hear about your successes. It is a very personal journey and for the first time, I really don't need to hear the compliments to feel good about myself. I'm strong than I have ever been and it has come from realizing that I have to do this ALONE. I'm sure if you ask anyone, their support at home is as limited as the fitness of their family members and how much into exercising THEY are.

    Be strong for you. This is something you will be alone in. This is why we have this community on MFP. To give us the support and encouragement we can't get anywhere else. I have met amazing people on here.

    If you want real results in your life, give up on getting the kudos and work your *kitten* off, not giving to sh^&s about what ANYONE has to say. Then, when you reach a goal, come on here and WE will cheer you on!

    Congrats on your success so far!
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
    I came across this quote many years ago, and it really stuck with me.

    “The secret of the universe is this: The universe doesn't care. That part of the job is yours.”

    ― David Gerrold


    First and foremost, you need to care. No one will or should care about your health and fitness like you. They've got their own issues. You can't expect it of them, but you need to demand it of yourself.

    That said, the Doctor needs friends and companions. He always has. And this is a great place to find people who may care more than most when it comes to health and fitness. Take some time to find people on here you can relate to.
  • Sherbog
    Sherbog Posts: 1,072 Member
    Your best support is going to be right here on this site. The same people who you say don't care are probably the same ones to offer you food to sabotage your journey.

    Suck it up and direct your energy to MFP. Why waste time worrying about those that could care less. Move on and hang on to MFP.

    Shirley in Oregon
  • jmadams111
    jmadams111 Posts: 145 Member
    There's an old saying, " you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends." Do so; there are thousands of folks on here that are willing to be friends with you, just becuase you are here! Find a group your age, weight, similar goals, etc, and motivate each other. But ultimately you still have to be your own best friend....and give yourself the appropriate "attaboys." Basically you can't care what anyone but you says....but if others say the right things then enjoy the hell out of it!
  • sinistras
    sinistras Posts: 244 Member
    Don't do it because anyone else cares. Do it because you care about yourself.

    Right on the money ^^
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
    I came across this quote many years ago, and it really stuck with me.

    “The secret of the universe is this: The universe doesn't care. That part of the job is yours.”

    ― David Gerrold


    First and foremost, you need to care. No one will or should care about your health and fitness like you. They've got their own issues. You can't expect it of them, but you need to demand it of yourself.

    That said, the Doctor needs friends and companions. He always has. And this is a great place to find people who may care more than most when it comes to health and fitness. Take some time to find people on here you can relate to.

    I popped in here to say much the same, but it's already been said. Very well, too. :flowerforyou:
  • lessofme43
    lessofme43 Posts: 139 Member
    If you are doing this for the approval of others 'you' will never be satisfied, there will always be another standard that you cannot measure up to. The accolades are icing on the cake - the cake that is what you are doing for yourself! If it matters, I am impressed with your new achievement; I know that feeling for myself and you should celebrate it!
  • txguard61
    txguard61 Posts: 51 Member
    It took me a long time to get into the mindset. I do it for me! It wasnt always like that so i know what you mean. But now, since i understand that concept better, i am so much happier all the time. When i get noticed....it is just icing on the cake...and its MY CAKE!!! I made it myself, and its the best no calorie cake i have ever had.

    Learn to enjoy what you have done for yourself, through your own hard work.
  • bunkahes
    bunkahes Posts: 216 Member
    The people above. You know your stuff. Don't do this for your family. Do this for you and only you. Make you feel like you have accomplish something by coming to the message boards . Which is a big step. And I am proud of you. Next acomplish the plans you have in baby steps. By following a eating ad exercise plan. Doing household chores burn calories. And just taking a small
    Walk will hep you physically ad emotional.
  • DenyseMarieL
    DenyseMarieL Posts: 673 Member
    Yep this should all be for YOU. You're the one you have to impress. No one else.
  • sj_1970
    sj_1970 Posts: 38
    I know, but on hard days, unless I am noticed, I end up screwing over my entire plan.It's like a relapse, and it can last for weeks, which just hurts when I worked so much for results.
    I hear you, I worked at places where no one was ever congratulated on a job well done EVER. Then I started working at a place where if someone does a good job they hear "well done!" or "good job!" total difference in atmospheres.
    Both of these were places where everyone was doing a good job.

    If you need someone to be your cheerleader, do you have any close friends that you can talk to that you can say, hey when you ask about my day and I say I've done XYZ today, tell me good job? It would help me stay motivated.
    If you do ask them.
    Also for a lot of people it's not intuitive for them to say 'good job' or recognize what you need unless you tell them. You could try talking to your family, but have a back up plan in case they aren't in to it, so you have somewhere else to get your cheerleading' from.
    Ultimately yes, you're doing it all for you. That's what matters. Even if you write in a journal every day that says I did a good frickin job today running a mile in x amount of time!

    I used to hike, when I was done with my hike but before I was out of the woods I would holler out I'm Frickin AWESOME! really loud, which made me feel good. You could try something like that :)
    It was my way of patting myself on the back when there wasn't anyone else to do it. It was also a way for me to realize I was pretty dang awesome without anyone else's help or input.

    Though hearing kudos sometimes, is nice.

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