Grief and weight loss

knxjg6yvyr

Today is weigh in day and I am scared to step on the scale.

This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. I got a call that my cousin I was raised with took her own life at the start of the week. I’ve been in utter shock and disbelief for days.

Like a lot of people in these dark times, I have turned to food for comfort. I know I have been lacking on exercise this week and not making the healthiest decisions. I am just so so sad. Why would she do that to herself?

How do you cope with the loss of someone and maintain your fitness goals? The last thing I want to do right now is cry into a salad and run for 30 minutes. I just know stepping on the scale the number will be higher this week and I just can’t take any more sadness right now.

AnnPT77

Grief takes the form it takes. But we have choices. In the immediate aftermath of some shock, like the one you've experienced, we may make some short-term choices to cope that don't support our long term goals. Honestly, I think that's OK, not a thing to beat ourselves up about.

Something we're doing for a day, a few days, even a few weeks in some extremes - that's a drop in the ocean that's the totality of our lives.

The "secret" isn't a secret: Somehow, we need to find the emotionally energy to pull out of the tailspin, and do it as soon as we can manage.

I'd say that if you don't want to weigh yourself this time, it's OK to give in to that, and not weigh yourself. It's a temporary thing, right? Helps you get through the moment?

I'd also say that if you do weigh yourself, it's just a momentary snapshot of your body's current relationship with gravity, not a measure of your value as a human being. One possible choice is to weigh yourself, giving yourself some grace in recognition of the situation. I'd also point out that stress tends to increase water retention, so you might be a bit heavier on the scale from that sort of thing: All short-term body weight increases for sure aren't a measure of fat increases only. It's good to recognize that, too.

Consider, too, whether there are things you can do that help you through your grief that are other than eating. If you don't feel like running, maybe a walk in a nice park in the sunshine, or some gentle stretching. I know it's hard. I've lost a couple of extended family members in that way, though no one as close to me as that; I've lost people that close to me in other ways, and not just "old age". I can understand that there's a period of psychological destabilization and adjustment from the shock and pain. You're human. It's OK.

You can and will find a path back into your normal routine. In the whole sweep of your life, your reactions now needn't have a major impact on your personal goals. Just find your way back to your routine as soon as you can. It'll be fine.

This next might not be true for you, but I thing I learned about myself was that it helped me to go through the motions of my normal routine as soon as possible, even when I wasn't feeling it. By doing the normal things, slowly the normal feelings crept back in, the normal motivations. It took some time. And the grief didn't go away, though it did very gradually consume a smaller part of my mindset.

My thoughts go out to you: I hope you are able to find comfort soon.

knxjg6yvyr

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/48641006#Comment_48641006

I really really needed this. Thank you. 🙏

spiriteagle99

As usual, Ann said it better than I ever could, and I agree totally. Give yourself some grace. You aren't a failure if you can't focus on your weight when your world has turned upside down. But it might help to look for ways to be good to yourself that won't make you feel bad later. Walks, floating in a pool or hot tub, treating yourself to a little pampering, turning off the media and indulging in a favorite book or movie, etc. And allow yourself time to face your grief and all the mixture of emotions involved in your sister's death: sorrow, anger, guilt, confusion, etc. It is never easy.

crazyhorse8

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10940530/grief-and-weight-loss

I am so sorry this is a rough and sad time for you! Please…allow yourself to grieve the way you need too and don't worry about the scale in the present. Your mental health is far more important right at the moment. You will eventually be able to recover your normal routine a little at a time and regain control by staying aware of where you are at emotionally. One day at a time is all any of us can manage with loss. Suicide has occurred in my family and it's devastating so I feel for your situation. Take care of yourself!