Dieting vs. Lifestyle Changing...what do I do???

itsjustdawn

My suggestion is to eat at a deficit (10-20% of your tdee) based on your exercise and activity level until you reach your goal.

Log and weigh with a digital scale everything you eat.

This right here is good advice.

drivenheart85

Thank you so much for everyone's input; you're all very wonderful.

I think I need to not diet and, in the terms of marketers and magazines and pretty much all society that intends to benefit from pushing fast results. And I need to stay away from numbers. I get a little control freak-ish with the numbers. Pounds, percentages, calories eaten, calories burned, exercise minutes, and on and on. I can make a 499 calorie workout sound like a failure...it's just not right. lol

I think awareness for me can help be achieved through a diet and exercise journal...not a calories burned and eaten tracker...but just something where I have to write down, can look back on and be accountable for...the food I've eaten and the exercise I have or haven't done. Once again, I gotta stay away from numbers.

I guess I get a little hazy though when it comes to pace. If I'm not going to weigh myself, it's gonna take like 2-4 weeks before I can tell if what I'm doing is enough or not. I may have to reconsider this approach. There are various other methods like clothes fit, body measurements, etc. but then I'm into numbers again and the impatient version of myself takes over. Perhaps I just need to work on my impatience. lol

marcypantz1

I set a reasonable calorie range for weightloss and I like to follow the 80/20 rule : 80% of my calories I eat super healthy and clean ( unprocessed Whole grains, lean proteins, Fruits and Veggies, Low Fat Dairy) and 20% of them are treats. Sometimes it's divided by week, but most time it's divided by day ( ex - If I'm at a 1300 calorie allowance i would allow for 260 calories of splurge - like a measured out portion of ice cream or cookies or salty snack) You don't feel deprived or guilty ( because it's within your calorie count!) A lot of the time I end up just having an extra portion of something healthy because I just don't want a treat - sometimes when you give yourself permission the cravings go away.

Another thing that has helped me thus far is journalling. It can be in your food notes, a private virtual journal, or even a pretty little spiralbound one you keep with you. Write down when you are struggling and wanting to turn to food to comfort you, include what you are feeling and the circumstances that are occuring. It can help you get to the root of why you are struggling with your food issues. It takes a lot of self-reflection and it's really difficult, but it is so worth it.

Another HUUUGGGEE help for me has been finding a physical activity that I truly enjoy. I happened to fall in love with running. For you it could be Zumba, Yoga, Walking, Circuits with a Trainer, Hiking, Swimming, Kayaking or whatever. Find an activity that you enjoy and feel free to explore and switch it up. It helps with stress levels, confidence, etc.

And lastly, be patient with yourself. Learn to love yourself wherever you are in the process. This is huge - because you can lose 10, 20, 50, even 100 lbs, reach your goals and still not be satisfied with where you are.


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Whyareyoumad

Hi guys, new to the forums. Questions between diet and a lifestyle change are easy for me. After I turned 40, I really starting gaining weight. For me, it had to be a lifestyle change. I joined a gym, started running, and became more aware of what I was eating. This site is invaluable for me because I can track what I eat, so far I have only gone over my calorie target one day. My goal is to get to single digit BF % in a month, so far so good!

bcattoes

I also read a book by Josie Spinardi that talked about what I went through. The "slap back" from dieting as I call it. Turns out it's completely common to basically lose your mind with food after a good bout of dieting. But how come I can't diet anymore and other people can? Is it the impatient perfectionist personality type that counts calories and turns into a restriction monster? Why does society push people to diet so much if it's actually counterproductive? Where the heck do I go from here?

If you restrict calories you are dieting. Whether you do it for 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years or 6 decades, it is still dieting. Call it whatever makes you happy and keeps you on track, but it is what it is.

The problem wasn't that you were dieting, it was that your diet was unsustainable. If you develop a way of eating that you can live with forever, then all you need to do when you are done is eat a little more of what you've already been eating.

Or perhaps make no changes at all. If you eat maintenance calories for your goal weight/size, then theoretically you should be able to make no changes at all for maintenance. You should simply stop losing when you get there.

Stage14

This is actually a really good example of why I don't participate in challenges or drop my calories more to get faster results. No offense or judgment for those who do either, but for me, I eat at a smaller deficit so that I can eat the types of foods that I can be happy eating for the rest of my life. And I workout on a schedule and with a routine that I know I can and want to maintain for the long haul. The results are slower, but there is far less chance of backlash when it finally comes time to switch to maintenance instead of losing.

For example, when I did this last time, I was eating tons of raw veggies for all of my snacks, doing salads for lunch almost daily, cutting out most bread and pasta. Today, I am eating tilapia for lunch with veggies yes, but also rice and sauce. Tonight, we're having whole wheat spaghetti and garlic toast for dinner. And I'm still within my calorie limits AND macro balance. I could easily eat the way I have for the last month for the rest of my life with no problem. I still get ice cream sometimes, still have the occasional "bad day" of fair food or a giant Thanksgiving dinner, but the bulk of my diet is healthy food that I ENJOY. The same goes for my workout routines. I do them because I LIKE them and how they make me feel. it's a longer slower road, but I don't have to worry about roadblocks or unexpected U turns on it.

mindy2780

To me to "diet" is to change the way I eat for a short term to meet a goal- lose weight or fit into a smaller size. But then when the goal is reached to go back to "normal" eating.
A "lifestyle change" is when you try to change the way you eat permanently. Often this MUST be less drastic than a "diet change" because you want to keep it up long term. And if not less drastic than certainly more gradual.
Quick fix diets like reducing your caloric intake drastically, or exercising every day multiple times a day (when you really don't have the drive or the time or both), diet drinks, diets where you eat only foods that are green, etc. Those types of diets rarely work because you can't keep them up long term. And when you return to your original eating habits you will end back at the original weight because nothing changed.
If you want to be healthier and weigh less and keep it up long term you must make changes you can handle long term. If you love chocolate then giving up chocolate completely forever most likely will not work. But limiting your chocolate, or balancing it with exercise will work. If you deprive yourself of things you like you are more likely to "cheat" on your diet or binge when you do allow yourself to eat those foods. But if you find a way to keep things in moderation you are more likely to succeed.
I have found that losing weight slowly means I am more likely to keep it off long term. Losing weight quickly means I usually gain it back fairly easily.

drivenheart85

I guess it's true though that what I was doing last year was unsustainable and that's probably why I got jumped on everyone to begin with. Everyone has a lot of great insight. It looks like for the most part it's important to find what's best for myself and not what some program, guru or friend has told me. I've always known this...but it's a hard method and ignorance is bliss. Trial and error to see what works and what doesn't is tiring and takes a long time before you get it right, but if you're ever going to really get it right, that's the path to take.

drivenheart85

Oh and I should add that the "need for speed" was fueled by body disgust. That's the other lesson for me. I was overweight and I took it as a personal insult and personal failure, I wanted it off ASAP. And when I lost 50 pounds of it...I still wasn't happy, still wasn't skinny enough.

As someone said above, even if you lose the weight, that doesn't mean you're going to like yourself more. You have to start with that from the beginning.

mazmataz

For the first time in my life, I think I have found a way of living/eating that works. The downside is that results will be slower, but I have accepted that in return for there actually being long-term, sustainable results!

I do not deprive myself of anything I crave or want...and I definitely do not deprive myself of socializing around food and drink. If I want a piece of chocoloate or a chinese takeaway (I'll have a serious think about if that IS really what I do want), I'll have it and either count it in my calories, or work out enough to cancel it out. If I go on a weekend food and drink bender with my friends, I accept the fact that it might take me a week or so to work back from it.

As a result I've found that I have LESS cravings and I instinctively choose better food - I've played this game for too long now and I'm sick of short term solutions and being the girl on the eternal diet. This is working! Slowly...but it's working

deksgrl

Dieting comes with the built in notion of "deprivation". The idea that if you are not DEPRIVING yourself, then you are not doing it right and you cannot possibly lose weight.

That is a lie. You can lose weight without depriving yourself. You can eat "normal" foods. You can even eat fast food, pizza and ice cream, as long as you stay within your calorie goals.

The other built in notion is that you have to about kill yourself with exercise, that is another lie.

My advice is: Set a reasonable calorie goal, have a reasonable exercise routine. Eat foods you enjoy, in the proper amount. Time and patience.

Weight training will help you preserve muscle while you lose fat so that you will like what you see after the pounds come off.

MeanderingMammal

How do I lose the weight I gained back without make purposeful effort to lose weight again?

Can't speak for anyone else, but what I've found is that just tracking what I'm eating, within the bounds of my calorie limit and various categories within that, has made me much more thoughtful about the effect of what I eat. In some ways connecting to Runkeeper, so that I can see the effect of my exercise on that as well had a complementary effect.

You're right, it's about lifestyle changes, rather than dieting. What do you want to achieve, weight loss, and how can that fit within your life. Again from a personal perspective I can't get on with the whole "weighing and measuring" zealotry, it just doesn't fit into my life so I end up underscoring on my calories, and listening to what my body is telling me. It's having an effect.
In terms of exercise I've chosen to follow a route that fits into my life. I spend a lot of time travelling with work, so I run and choose hotels that I can go out for a run from. That reduces my reasons to not go out.

That point about fitting with the lifestyle, and the thoughtful choices, means I'm no longer as tempted to eat poor choices when I'm in the car. I still have the odd Kit-Kat chunky, but I'm more inclined to stock up on fruit or dried fruit.

The main thing for me is that if you try to fit your life around a diet, it won't work. Fit your lifestyle into your personal circumstances.

All the best with it

Francl27

Lifestyle change in the sense that I went into it knowing it was forever. Which I guess is why it took me years to find the willpower to do it. I haven't drowned myself in cardio (although my activity has increased a lot), I'm eating what I want within limits and watching portions, and I'm fully aware that when I'm at goal weight, I'll still only be able to eat about 300 more calories a day, less if I'm less active.

The main issue with diets is that people go in wanting to lose weight, but don't really realize they'll have to maintain after. So they go all crazy with a lot of cardio and low calories, or cut some food groups, and as soon as they start eating 'normally' again and/or stop all the cardio, they just gain the weight back.

I've been losing weight pretty fast too, frankly, eating 1600-1700 calories a day. But I know I'll probably have to maintain at 2000, so I try to be aware of that and just learn good eating habits as I go.