Please help me with family situations...

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  • jamie1888
    jamie1888 Posts: 1,704 Member
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    I just had to deal with a similar situation last weekend.... was at a friend's house for a BBQ. The food wasn't the problem; it was alcohol! I don't drink alcohol; never have. (other than some crazy times in high school, etc.. but, I digress..)

    Anyway, my friends were trying so hard (as they always do!) to get me to do a shot because it was my birthday. I mean, it was pathetic! "Come on! Just one shot! It's your birthday!... blah blah"

    So, I turned to my friend's 6 year old daughter and said, " See Hannah, this is what is called peer pressure. Everyone is trying to make me do something that I don't want to do. But, I'm just going to keep saying "no" because I don't want to do it. You should never let anyone pressure you into doing something that you don't want to do".

    My friends felt pretty foolish at that point and let it go! :laugh:

    OMG Best response EVER!!! Going to have to use this one - great teaching for my daughters :)

    Ha! Ha! Thanks! :happy:
  • Jennyzfit
    Jennyzfit Posts: 175 Member
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    Yes you might want to think of it this way. People shouldn't force food on you, (man I hate that!!!). It's their choice to buy extra pizza etc. You didn't ask them to. So you shouldn't FEEL GUILTY when that happens. And you can still say no and just stick to your guns. I know it's really hard and people pressure you but that is their problem. On the other hand you can phone them in advance and say yes i'll be over but I have a strick regiment and won't be joining you. Or you can join with them after the dinner. I hope you don't mind this response but that's what I would do and have done.
  • Mindful_Trent
    Mindful_Trent Posts: 3,954 Member
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    Oh - something else I meant to add, A great book I read put it this way - when you are telling someone no, you shouldn't feel guilty. Why? Because it doesn't hurt them if you say No, but it does hurt YOU if you give in. That's how most of us got here, is not being able to say No, even when saying Yes hurts us. If they really care about you, they should understand why you are saying No and respect that.

    The book is an easy read and one I would highly recommend, it might help you build some of the skills to get through situations like this. It's called "The Beck Diet Solution" - despite the name, it's not about dieting, it's about lifestyle changes and getting over the mental hurdles most people face. It teaches you how to 'retrain' your brain to work with you rather than against you.
  • hooah_mj
    hooah_mj Posts: 1,004 Member
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    Wow, these are wonderful responses! Just gotta share what actually works for me NOW...

    I never sit down....and I never shut up! We all laugh hysterically and no one actually realizes that I'm not gorging myself...it really works. Jump from conversation to conversation....and have 2 plates, one you pick at and one as a disquise.

    When it comes time for cake/ice cream....I help serve everyone (w/o licking my fingers!) and by the time I'm through no one knows the difference.

    Don't give up, just get creative....& ditto to PJilly....you'll never change others, you gotta change yourself :wink:

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