From couch to marathon in 3 days!

arc918
arc918 Posts: 2,037 Member
Why spend months and months training when you can just go out and do it cold?

Day one: walk a mile, run for 4 minutes, walk a mile

Day two: carb load, hydrate and taper for the big race

Day three: "run" marathon!

if you want to qualify for Boston (or better yet the Olympic Trials) then run for 10 minutes on day two...

Enjoy!
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Replies

  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
    I really thought this was going to be Eric's thread
  • ZenInTexas
    ZenInTexas Posts: 781 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • arc918
    arc918 Posts: 2,037 Member
    For those who can't commit to the full three days of training, I'm working on an accelerated 2 day plan!
  • eaglefish
    eaglefish Posts: 130 Member
    Thanks for the LOL :)
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    Sweet. I'm going to quit running till December 1st and then allow myself 8 days. That's over twice this time and I should be amazing by then.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Wow. This is much shorter than 14 weeks! SOLD!

    Shut-Up-And-Take-My-Money.jpg
  • Turtle003
    Turtle003 Posts: 133 Member
    Plan sounds AMAZING...but when do I schedule my day off to recuperate...? :laugh:
  • RedHotRunner
    RedHotRunner Posts: 850 Member
    i wish I knew this 12 weeks ago. I would've really enjoyed sleeping in on all those past saturday mornings.
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    Why spend months and months training when you can just go out and do it cold?

    Day one: walk a mile, run for 4 minutes, walk a mile

    Day two: carb load, hydrate and taper for the big race

    Day three: "run" marathon!

    if you want to qualify for Boston (or better yet the Olympic Trials) then run for 10 minutes on day two...

    Enjoy!

    What would I have to do if I want to get off the couch and train for an ultra marathon? Do you have an accelerated plan for that too? Thanks!
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    Why spend months and months training when you can just go out and do it cold?

    Day one: walk a mile, run for 4 minutes, walk a mile

    Day two: carb load, hydrate and taper for the big race

    Day three: "run" marathon!

    if you want to qualify for Boston (or better yet the Olympic Trials) then run for 10 minutes on day two...

    Enjoy!

    This sounds like too much work. I prefer this plan:

    http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/15.01/ultraman.html

    Step 1: Don't run for 15 years then have some beer and tequila on your birthday
    Step 2: Leave the bar and run 30 miles to celebrate your 30th birthday
  • I've been doing it all wrong!
  • ThickMcRunFast
    ThickMcRunFast Posts: 22,511 Member
    All those wasted hours 'running' for 'fitness' WASTED. Sigh.

    If I want to run an ultra, do I run 15 minutes on day 2?
  • Zylahe
    Zylahe Posts: 772 Member
    This is where i went wrong. I'm not drunk when i run. ( hung over though)
  • jturnerx
    jturnerx Posts: 325 Member
    Why spend months and months training when you can just go out and do it cold?

    Day one: walk a mile, run for 4 minutes, walk a mile

    Day two: carb load, hydrate and taper for the big race

    Day three: "run" marathon!

    if you want to qualify for Boston (or better yet the Olympic Trials) then run for 10 minutes on day two...

    Enjoy!

    This sounds like too much work. I prefer this plan:

    http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/15.01/ultraman.html

    Step 1: Don't run for 15 years then have some beer and tequila on your birthday
    Step 2: Leave the bar and run 30 miles to celebrate your 30th birthday

    ROTFL

    Although I think it would be safe to say that DK is an outlier and that for most of us living in the middle of the bell curve we have to put in the ... wait for it ... hard work. Shocking I know.
  • runs4zen
    runs4zen Posts: 769 Member
    Sigh...I didn't want to have to call folks out but here it is, the one day training plan for all serious, long distance runners.

    ( Please remember that all running other than that done on hilly, steep, trails is not really running but an invitation to injury).

    Day 1: Run as far as you can, as fast as you can until you puke and your entire body is cramping up from dehydration and lack of endurance training. If anything hurts beyond the cramping, ignore it. Don't be a p*ssy. Stop for 5 minutes when you think you can't go any further or if you're having chest pains. After 5 minutes, start the process over. Keep doing this until you've reached your desired mileage.

    It really is that simple. Training is for amateurs.

    ;-)
  • jturnerx
    jturnerx Posts: 325 Member
    If I want to run an ultra, do I run 15 minutes on day 2?

    Yes, because we all know that the only difference between a marathon and a 50k is 5 miles. An extra minute per mile ought to do it. Who wants to quibble over 5,000 - 7,000 feet of elevation gain (typical in my neck of the woods)?
  • Step aside Hal Higdon
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    Can I just skip directly to the carb loading?
    giphy_original.gif
  • arc918
    arc918 Posts: 2,037 Member
    Carb load first, ask questions later!
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
    if i modified this by adding an extra day of carbloading, could I do an ultra in 4 days?
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Screw that. I stay on the couch and get one of these:

    snickers-marathon-protein-bar-42236.jpg

    Close enough. I can break a sweat tearing open the wrapper.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Pfft, A lot of people got progress in 5 minutes.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1084976-huge-progress-in-five-minutes

    Amateurs...
  • arc918
    arc918 Posts: 2,037 Member
    This weekend - customized 3 day marathon prep plan for only 5 easy payments of $39.99!
  • ttippie2000
    ttippie2000 Posts: 412 Member
    You gotta work on the modified couch as training device. What people REALLY want is never to actually get up from the couch at all.
  • Zekela
    Zekela Posts: 634 Member
    Love this.... I guess there is hope for me after all in doing my ultra (51k) run tomorrow with just today to train for it. I was planning on doing 7 mile real easy effort today. The joke about this is, I'm actually serious. I'll update you guys on it Saturday evening since I'm planning to run it in less than 5hrs.
  • stacyhaddenham
    stacyhaddenham Posts: 211 Member
    You forgot day 4 call paramedics. :tongue:
  • j_courter
    j_courter Posts: 999 Member
    what? no reminder to dodge flying uteri at mile 18 on race day?
  • cms721
    cms721 Posts: 179 Member
    Dont let DR OZ see this.
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
    I'm putting wheels and a lawn mower engine in my couch. That way I never have to even get up to finish my marathon!