From couch to marathon in 3 days!

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Replies

  • Zekela
    Zekela Posts: 634 Member
    Ultra update: This plan totally works!
  • RunnerElizabeth
    RunnerElizabeth Posts: 1,091 Member
    Wait, so why have I been training since May for my third half marathon? I'm only running half the distance! I'm guessing if I switch to your marathon plan for my half, I'll be able to beat Kim Smith. She'll still place before me in the BAA distance medley though, since I didn't discover your plan until after the 5k and 10k were done with!
  • eaglefish
    eaglefish Posts: 130 Member
    Sigh...I didn't want to have to call folks out but here it is, the one day training plan for all serious, long distance runners.

    ( Please remember that all running other than that done on hilly, steep, trails is not really running but an invitation to injury).

    Day 1: Run as far as you can, as fast as you can until you puke and your entire body is cramping up from dehydration and lack of endurance training. If anything hurts beyond the cramping, ignore it. Don't be a p*ssy. Stop for 5 minutes when you think you can't go any further or if you're having chest pains. After 5 minutes, start the process over. Keep doing this until you've reached your desired mileage.

    It really is that simple. Training is for amateurs.

    ;-)

    Seriously laughing my a## off at this.. Thanks for starting my day off well :)
  • plateaued
    plateaued Posts: 199 Member
    This may take too much mental toughness for me to complete.
  • arc918
    arc918 Posts: 2,037 Member
    This may take too much mental toughness for me to complete.

    I know you can do it!
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    Is there a plan that will let me do this in just 2 days? I don't know if I have 3 spare days in my schedule.
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    I am such an underachiever. It took me an entire year to accomplish this feat!
  • arc918
    arc918 Posts: 2,037 Member
    Thinking some new runners could benefit from this classic plan...
  • Bounce2
    Bounce2 Posts: 138 Member
    You forgot to mention running attire... Don't waste your money on expensive sneakers, running or wicking clothes (professionals know that stuff is just a gimmick to grab your cash); head on out in your sandles/heels, jeans and a flannelette shirt.

    P.s- if its a trail marathon consider heels with clogs rather than spikes for better traction. After all the hard work you have done you wouldn't want to roll an ankle ;)

    P.ps- Ladies carb loading is bad for you. You will get fat. Days 1 to 3 should be in a fasted state and on the day of your marathon take your normal daily calorie allowance and quarter it. Don't be that person who gains a pound or two after running a marathon.....
  • Zekela
    Zekela Posts: 634 Member
    You forgot to mention running attire... Don't waste your money on expensive sneakers, running or wicking clothes (professionals know that stuff is just a gimmick to grab your cash); head on out in your sandles/heels, jeans and a flannelette shirt.

    P.s- if its a trail marathon consider heels with clogs rather than spikes for better traction. After all the hard work you have done you wouldn't want to roll an ankle ;)

    P.ps- Ladies carb loading is bad for you. You will get fat. Days 1 to 3 should be in a fasted state and on the day of your marathon take your normal daily calorie allowance and quarter it. Don't be that person who gains a pound or two after running a marathon.....

    Sadly, I've been known to run in jeans and leave a water belt and spikes off the list to run my first 50k trail race... Next time, I'll try to control my carb loading appetite though...
  • tmcowan
    tmcowan Posts: 322 Member
    This is how you stay "injury free" during marathon training!!!
  • scottkjar
    scottkjar Posts: 346 Member
    From Couch to Marathon in 1 afternoon.

    Day 1: Sit on couch and eat sausage until you have a heart attack. Ambulance comes and drives you 26.1 miles to the hospital. Marathon complete.
  • Bounce2
    Bounce2 Posts: 138 Member
    Sadly, I've been known to run in jeans and leave a water belt and spikes off the list to run my first 50k trail race... Next time, I'll try to control my carb loading appetite though...

    :wink: Hmmmm you're right I wasn't specific enough.... NEW jeans and for distances over 30k everyone knows starched, acid washed skinny jeans are the best!!!
  • arc918
    arc918 Posts: 2,037 Member
    Back in 2005, I was running the the LA marathon (my 2nd ever marathon). Before the race in the hotel lobby I was chatting with some other runners, and asked how their training went leading up to the race. They laughed and explained that their only training was walking into the expo the day before and signing up for the race. I'm sure they were pretty unhappy come mile 18...

    Same race, about 13 - 15 miles in, I was running with a couple other runners. I asked what pace they were shooting for and a young lady explained that she was a student at USC who was out there cheering on the runners. It looked like fun, so she jumped in. USC was probably at mile 3 or 4 on that course.
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    From Couch to Marathon in 1 afternoon.

    Day 1: Sit on couch and eat sausage until you have a heart attack. Ambulance comes and drives you 26.1 miles to the hospital. Marathon complete.

    Unfortunately this would not be sufficient as a marathon is longer than 26.1 miles (42.195 kilometres or 26 miles and 385 yards)
  • ThickMcRunFast
    ThickMcRunFast Posts: 22,511 Member
    Back in 2005, I was running the the LA marathon (my 2nd ever marathon). Before the race in the hotel lobby I was chatting with some other runners, and asked how their training went leading up to the race. They laughed and explained that their only training was walking into the expo the day before and signing up for the race. I'm sure they were pretty unhappy come mile 18...

    Same race, about 13 - 15 miles in, I was running with a couple other runners. I asked what pace they were shooting for and a young lady explained that she was a student at USC who was out there cheering on the runners. It looked like fun, so she jumped in. USC was probably at mile 3 or 4 on that course.

    Chicago Marathon- 2006 (a cold year). I was running with 2 friends. One had slacked on her training, and only made it up to 8 mile long runs. She decided to run anyway.

    We had to take her to dinner in a wheel chair that night.
  • arc918
    arc918 Posts: 2,037 Member
    Back in 2005, I was running the the LA marathon (my 2nd ever marathon). Before the race in the hotel lobby I was chatting with some other runners, and asked how their training went leading up to the race. They laughed and explained that their only training was walking into the expo the day before and signing up for the race. I'm sure they were pretty unhappy come mile 18...

    Same race, about 13 - 15 miles in, I was running with a couple other runners. I asked what pace they were shooting for and a young lady explained that she was a student at USC who was out there cheering on the runners. It looked like fun, so she jumped in. USC was probably at mile 3 or 4 on that course.

    Chicago Marathon- 2006 (a cold year). I was running with 2 friends. One had slacked on her training, and only made it up to 8 mile long runs. She decided to run anyway.

    We had to take her to dinner in a wheel chair that night.

    Ouch! Don't try this at home kids...
  • lisanume
    lisanume Posts: 127 Member
    seriously laughing so hard right now! thanks for the laugh!

    I JUST started a 16 week training program.... Glad I didn't get 13 weeks in to that plan before I saw this post! I can run my marathon this weekend! whOOHOOO!

    I have seriously done a half marathon with very little to NO training ( SLACKER!), broke my foot @ mile 7 and had to finish the race with a broken foot. I didn't realize it was broken until 3 days after the race I still couldn't walk on it and it was purple!

    It was very stupid and very painful. the only thing that made it better was the tropical storm that hit Hampton NH that day. sleet, wind, pouring rain, and 34 degree temps in October. Yupppppa... that was a blast!
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    I found an article about someone who did something very similar!

    http://www.endofthreefitness.com/how-i-ran-a-marathon-without-training-and-why/

    "Yep, I ran a marathon.

    And, yes, I ran an marathon without training for it a single day.

    In fact, looking back at my training journal, the most I ran all at once in the last couple months (maybe year or more) was the occasional mile sprint.

    However, that didn’t stop me from running 42,194.988 meters or 26.2 miles."
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    Found another article on the subject:

    http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-17456672

    "Andrew Gertig caused consternation in running circles when he announced he had finished the 2003 San Francisco marathon in four hours 28 minutes without any training. And when Eddie Izzard ran 43 marathons in 51 days, the comedian admitted he only began preparing five weeks before."
  • Zekela
    Zekela Posts: 634 Member
    Found another article on the subject:

    http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-17456672

    "Andrew Gertig caused consternation in running circles when he announced he had finished the 2003 San Francisco marathon in four hours 28 minutes without any training. And when Eddie Izzard ran 43 marathons in 51 days, the comedian admitted he only began preparing five weeks before."

    Wow! This is awesome! screw the 3 day plan! who needs a plan anyway... just do it like Nike!

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