My Hot New Wife

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  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Marriages that crumble have other issues going on than weight loss...

    Truth.

    Insecurity festers over time. I think men are more susceptible to it because men seem to be less comfortable with change, whether it's the wife losing (or gaining) weight or rearranging the living room furniture. When things have been a certain way for a while and they feel a sense of stability, of course there is going to be some push-back when the ground shifts. That's normal. But when it blows up into "You went and got super hot because I'm obviously not good enough for you anymore," that ain't just about you losing weight.

    But, as I always say, if your spouse/bf/gf is starting to get hotter, the proper response is to ask yourself if you can do the same, and if you can, you should. It's a can't-lose proposition; either the two of you start having a lot more "fun," or if he/she does leave you for someone else, then you're eligible for an upgrade, too.
  • mommy3457
    mommy3457 Posts: 361 Member
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    My husband thinks I am beautiful the way I am. I have lost 35 pounds since giving birth to my son, but he has found me attractive the whole time. My journey isn't just mine; it is his as well. He was with me the whole time. Even if and when I lose 10-20 more pounds, he will think I am beautiful just as much as he does right now.
  • Steffani911
    Steffani911 Posts: 196 Member
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    My husband is one of them. I feel like he just wants me to stay home all the time now. He gets upset if I want to go anywhere. Also he hasn't refused per say but keeps forgetting to help me get my garage gym set up which he knows is super important to me. I resent him for all of it.
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    Come to think of it... the opposite is going on in my house. The more I lose the less supportive and jealous the gf gets. Hmmm...
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    ...

    but now i'm in an insanely awesome relationship with an INSANELY hot guy (no fooling)

    *snip*

    and I'm so sublimely happy I could l fart glitter and *kitten* rainbows all over my friends pages 24/7.....

    oh wait...i do that already.

    True stories.
    :bigsmile:
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
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    I would return this statement with why do women do this? So often you see generalizations when in reality, not everyone is the same. I saw a few guys on here who have lost weight and did not leave their spouses because their spouses remained out of shape. I saw both sides of the coin so what you are saying is true when it comes to some but some don't equal a whole. So, male bashing for the sake of bashing is just as ignorant as female bashing for the sake of being a jerk.

    The point is, not everyone is the same. Some people marry for unconditional love and some should never be married. Still, it is what it is and to generalize things like this serves no purpose.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    Dafuq did I just read? :huh:

    My wife is hawt!

    And I still love her.

    Now, off to tease her about how lucky she is that I still love her even though she's hot . . . :laugh: :smokin:
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    Apparently this isn't the case, especially when it is the woman who loses the weight. Instead of the husband thinking "WOW! Look at my hot new wife!", he thinks "She's found a new man and is going to leave me." Why do you do this guys?

    We don't. Surprisingly we are all not the same.

    ^This. You can't lump every husband into one category. Sorry that some men suck, but there are some nasty wives out there too.

    Some marriages have issues. Weight (gain or loss) can augment those issues.

    ETA - that I'm blessed with a wonderful husband who has never once complained about the time I spend exercising, the money I spend on workout clothes or race entry fees, the produce in the fridge taking up space that he could have filled with beer, or the way my body is changing. He truly supports me in everything that I do and I'm thankful. If you find a good one, you'll still have a good one, even if you lose the weight.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Any time someone changes their behavior drastically there is a reason. I think it's a natural response for a spouse to wonder if the reason for weight loss is wanting to look more attractive to others. If he (or she) has made it clear that they already find you attractive, it would seem natural to wonder who, then, are you doing it for. A rocky relationship would likely be even more reason to wonder.

    My husband is not insecure but he wondered. He mentioned it. I just made it clear that while I more than appreciated that he found me attractive, I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. And since I treated attentions from other men the same as always, he soon saw that wasn't the reason.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
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    The first thing I did after I lost all of my weight was have a hot passionate affair. It got pretty weird because it was with someone at work who had already known my wife in a social context, so things definitely became strained and my wife knew something was up.

    But the great thing is that her insecurity and uncertainty as to my fidelity drove her to lose a lot of weight too and it has been a great motivator for her. Cheating on my wife has been the best thing I could've done for my relationship.

    Now about a year later, everything is aired out and Susan (from the office) comes over sometimes on weekends and the three of us play.
  • sklarbodds
    sklarbodds Posts: 608 Member
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    It's not a gender thing. Women often have the same reaction if men lose weight (I have experience).

    It's what it is. It's hard for people to look through their insecurities and fully support someone.
  • sklarbodds
    sklarbodds Posts: 608 Member
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    The first thing I did after I lost all of my weight was have a hot passionate affair. It got pretty weird because it was with someone at work who had already known my wife in a social context, so things definitely became strained and my wife knew something was up.

    But the great thing is that her insecurity and uncertainty as to my fidelity drove her to lose a lot of weight too and it has been a great motivator for her. Cheating on my wife has been the best thing I could've done for my relationship.

    Now about a year later, everything is aired out and Susan (from the office) comes over sometimes on weekends and the three of us play.
    Wat?
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
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    If the assumption is that a person is cheating, then there are definate trust issues there (unless, of course, they ARE cheating). This insecurity is not men only, it goes both ways.

    The problem I am having is that my DH can't seem to keep his hands off my @ss. And my clothing keeps disappearing, not sure why...:wink:
  • chainlot
    chainlot Posts: 7
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    Yeah, its sad it has to be that way many times. Trust is a hard thing in our society today with TV and movies constantly promoting sex and sleeping around. If trust is truly in a relationship and spouses are best friends, there should be nothing but support for the one trying to lose weight and better themselves.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
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    The first thing I did after I lost all of my weight was have a hot passionate affair. It got pretty weird because it was with someone at work who had already known my wife in a social context, so things definitely became strained and my wife knew something was up.

    But the great thing is that her insecurity and uncertainty as to my fidelity drove her to lose a lot of weight too and it has been a great motivator for her. Cheating on my wife has been the best thing I could've done for my relationship.

    Now about a year later, everything is aired out and Susan (from the office) comes over sometimes on weekends and the three of us play.
    Wat?
    What? I'll see if I can find my "success story" thread. It has a picture of the three of us.
  • Lindaspencer
    Lindaspencer Posts: 226 Member
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    I've heard of that, even guys leaving a wife because she lost a lot of weight. I, however, have a Hot Wife, check out her profile, themommie We've been married 22 years and I am still in love.

    I joined so I could get in shape to keep up.


    Love this - you made me smile - thank you!
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Hasn't happened to me. My wife has lost about 25 so far, wants to drop another 15 or so. I'm not thinking "my hot new wife," I'm thinking, "my even hotter existing wife!" Then she slaps my hands away as I try to feel her up. Every chance I get. It's good exercise for her.

    You sound exactly like my husband. :-)
    I was at my highest weight when I met him and now I'm about 20 pounds lighter. He's proud of me, and even though he says I'm much hotter than he is, I know it's not from insecurity. :-)
  • withintherose
    withintherose Posts: 36 Member
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    I am not married but it adds a different hurdle in the world of dating.
    I immediately offer up the fact that I don't intend on staying this same weight and that has put a damper on the 2nd date opportunity more than once; only because I have heard the whole "I like you the way you are" sort of comments and well, that tells me enough right there.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    My wife has said on a number of occasions that she is concerned with me getting back in shape because I might leave her for someone who is also in shape.

    If I said this to my husband, he would be grossly offended that I would even think that. You know, like I don't trust him to have the moral fiber to stay true to me and the baby.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    The first thing I did after I lost all of my weight was have a hot passionate affair. It got pretty weird because it was with someone at work who had already known my wife in a social context, so things definitely became strained and my wife knew something was up.

    But the great thing is that her insecurity and uncertainty as to my fidelity drove her to lose a lot of weight too and it has been a great motivator for her. Cheating on my wife has been the best thing I could've done for my relationship.

    Now about a year later, everything is aired out and Susan (from the office) comes over sometimes on weekends and the three of us play.

    :angry: I thought I was your only 3 play!

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