Stupid question, probably best answered by the guys

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Replies

  • uvonne610
    uvonne610 Posts: 29 Member
    Couldn't say it better! If he is really your friend your weight shouldn't matter.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    Excellent. I love this post.

    OP, not all guys are fixated on the physical, especially since the physical can be changed with dedication and effort.
  • uvonne610
    uvonne610 Posts: 29 Member
    I know how you feel. It's a lot harder when you have a past with someone. I've always thought if I had a positive attitude or was happy and laughing they wouldn't notice my weight.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    I would just straight out tell him that you are bigger than you would like to be, but you're working on it.

    Never tell a guy that! Fake it till you make it.

    Ever made a dessert for a dinner party that didn't set, and there you were, big delicious mess in the kitchen and 7 posh guests in teh dining room?

    Well darlings, you put serves of the thing into little bowls, crumble up some oreos and sprinkle on top, and pretend that's what you meant to do all along.

    "Oh Daaahling, what is this divine dessert?"

    "oh, just something I whipped up. A mere trifle."

    Never ever ever put yourself down.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    Excellent. I love this post.

    OP, not all guys are fixated on the physical, especially since the physical can be changed with dedication and effort.

    hoookay there Henry Higgins, lol :) first, yes they are, just like everyone else. physical attraction totally matters (whatever the preferred form is). second, nonono, men, ladies, people, do not get into a thing already thinking of an upgrade. if you don't like what's in the box as is, do not purchase.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    Excellent. I love this post.

    OP, not all guys are fixated on the physical, especially since the physical can be changed with dedication and effort.

    hoookay there Henry Higgins, lol :) first, yes they are, just like everyone else. physical attraction totally matters (whatever the preferred form is). second, nonono, men, ladies, people, do not get into a thing already thinking of an upgrade. if you don't like what's in the box as is, do not purchase.

    Of course physical attraction has a bearing, but not all guys base their dating decisions solely on that factor.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    Excellent. I love this post.

    OP, not all guys are fixated on the physical, especially since the physical can be changed with dedication and effort.

    hoookay there Henry Higgins, lol :) first, yes they are, just like everyone else. physical attraction totally matters (whatever the preferred form is). second, nonono, men, ladies, people, do not get into a thing already thinking of an upgrade. if you don't like what's in the box as is, do not purchase.

    Of course physical attraction has a bearing, but not all guys base their dating decisions solely on that factor.

    This is true. One guy I (very briefly) dated was concerned about my choice of footwear.
  • samammay
    samammay Posts: 468
    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    Excellent. I love this post.

    OP, not all guys are fixated on the physical, especially since the physical can be changed with dedication and effort.

    hoookay there Henry Higgins, lol :) first, yes they are, just like everyone else. physical attraction totally matters (whatever the preferred form is). second, nonono, men, ladies, people, do not get into a thing already thinking of an upgrade. if you don't like what's in the box as is, do not purchase.

    Of course physical attraction has a bearing, but not all guys base their dating decisions solely on that factor.

    This is true. One guy I (very briefly) dated was concerned about my choice of footwear.

    Pretty sure that wasnt the only 'issue' he was concerned with. :)
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    Excellent. I love this post.

    OP, not all guys are fixated on the physical, especially since the physical can be changed with dedication and effort.

    hoookay there Henry Higgins, lol :) first, yes they are, just like everyone else. physical attraction totally matters (whatever the preferred form is). second, nonono, men, ladies, people, do not get into a thing already thinking of an upgrade. if you don't like what's in the box as is, do not purchase.

    Of course physical attraction has a bearing, but not all guys base their dating decisions solely on that factor.

    This is true. One guy I (very briefly) dated was concerned about my choice of footwear.

    Pretty sure that wasnt the only 'issue' he was concerned with. :)

    You're right. He was also very concerned with his reflection and hair. My concern was ending the evening as expeditiously as I could.
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
    Just show up. Don't worry too much about it. They may be surprised at first, but nobody should be surprised that people look different after four years.

    Last year, we had a miniature 10-year High School reunion and someone who I knew all through High School and college as "Mike" was now "Amanda". That was a bit of a surprise because, while the change had been announced over Facebook, I had not seen this individual after it happened. At first, I thought Amanda was the girlfriend of one of my other friends.

    Once Amanda accepted my initial blanket apology in case I reverted to using "Mike" (which was a definite threat, because people want to recount past experiences when they go to reunions), things went along just fine.
  • Jaided35
    Jaided35 Posts: 24
    This happened to me. My bf saw me at my skinniest (118 lbs) and fattest (200lbs) when we weren't together. We were friends since 1995. In 2006 we got together when I was 130 lbs. He says he doesn't care how fat/skinny I am. Because he's seen me both, he likes me with weight. If he's seen pics, I wouldn't worry about it. Besides he may like the "big" girls. LOL
  • whitlisd
    whitlisd Posts: 85
    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    You, sir, are the winner of this thread. Best thing I've read all day :)


    AGREED! This guy deserves an award! Take note all you other shallow people... THIS is how it's done!
  • Melissa22G
    Melissa22G Posts: 847 Member
    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    :drinker:
  • LiminalAscendance
    LiminalAscendance Posts: 489 Member
    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    Excellent. I love this post.

    OP, not all guys are fixated on the physical, especially since the physical can be changed with dedication and effort.

    hoookay there Henry Higgins, lol :) first, yes they are, just like everyone else. physical attraction totally matters (whatever the preferred form is). second, nonono, men, ladies, people, do not get into a thing already thinking of an upgrade. if you don't like what's in the box as is, do not purchase.

    Of course physical attraction has a bearing, but not all guys base their dating decisions solely on that factor.

    When someone is attracted to an individual that happens to carry a few extra pounds, I don't think it's a matter of not basing their attraction on the "physical."

    I think, in most cases, they like what they see, despite cultural norms.
  • suziepoo1984
    suziepoo1984 Posts: 915 Member
    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.

    Awww ..Full of awesome :drinker:
  • phred_52
    phred_52 Posts: 189 Member
    I am in no way trying to be mean or rude. Blunt maybe?

    "Any suggestions? Serious and helpful answers only please and thank you."....Stupid question, to me. So you're not skinny anymore. If he, you know him, is a friend, you're weight shouldn't come in to play. If so, well, he'd seem shallow to me.

    I have a lady friend I see from time to time, and like she say's, "I'm obese", she is 5'4", weight unknown, and I'm not asking, but by observation, I'd say minimum 100 lbs over. No matter to me, she's a great friend/woman.

    Just my $.02. Oh, I do hope it all turns out fine.
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
    Be You

    /thread
  • pearson114
    pearson114 Posts: 66 Member
    Dont discount the possibility that he knows you have gained weight and just doesnt care. You're still the same person. Skinny does not equal friend-worthy... or more.

    I dated a girl once, super petite and sexy. We went a few years without seeing each other, without the benefit of FB to show us. One night when she moved back to town we decided to get back together to catch up. When she came to the door she had gained 30 pounds or so.

    Know how I reacted? Ask her... she and our three kids are asleep upstairs.


    Awesome!

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