parents: college savings OR other enrichment activities?

huango

For other parents, if you only have some side money for either college savings OR something else (such as sleep-away-camps, travel, enrichment activities), which would you choose?

I often second-guess our decision on this matter. We're choosing the latter choice.
- Instead of reading about the Great Wall of China, we're taking the kids there.
- Going to Iceland or Alaska to see icebergs before they all melt.
- Going camping in the Grand Canyon.

But:
- A 3-week trip to Asia is like buying a small car.
- A week of summer camp at a marine biology lab is easily one month of mortgage payment.
- Don't get me started on sleep-away camp.

So instead of saving the full amount every month, we put away a pitiful amount toward college (probably won't even be enough to buy college books), and save the remainder toward an enrichment/experience.

This article made me think

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http://www.cafemom.com/group/107447/forums/read/18824269/Influencer_Post_2?prism_id=160895&utm_medium=sem2&utm_campaign=prism&utm_source=internal&utm

Appreciate your thoughts/feedback/what did you do for your kids?
Amanda

BrainyBurro

why is there no option for "hookers and blow"?

spade117

I supply my children with food and shelter. Can't really afford much else.

_Krys10_

why is there no option for "hookers and blow"?

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

patrickblo13

Too be honest if you can help you kids with tuition costs I think that is more beneficial and helps them in the long run. I am a product of massive school debt and a good job but I am damn near broke because of student loans. I only wish my parents could have assisted in my college costs like many of my friends...

It would be nice for you to do all of the trips but I think long term college is more important

Momf3boys

I have a college 529 plan for my boys...it's the prepaid college trust fund...when they go to college, their tuition is paid for for 4 years at a University.

bethgames

College savings are safe and secure...but somewhere deep inside me is a place that hopes he opts to be a low paid laborer so I can spend all the cash on trips and jewelry....I'm just saying it's there, not that I'm proud of it....

Hannah_Banana

I would say find out what your children want to do first. For many things, college is not required. Science, math, engineering - those are career fields that require degrees. But many things children are interested in only require a trade school or an apprenticeship. All these children going to college isn't "a good sign", its educational inflation.

I have a a bachelors degree and a masters degree. I didn't need either for my very well paying job. And if I had needed a degree to move upward, my company has full tuition reimbursement.

College isn't a "natural step." I just wish I had known that before I went.

LishieFruit89

I was able to do enrichment type activities growing up and my mother made a deal with me that she'd pay for the first 2 years of college and I was on my own for the last two. Granted, mine weren't a 3-week holiday in a foreign land with my family - it was Girl Scout camps, People to People, and a couple of educational camps...

Due to that deal, I work through high school and college to pay for my last two years but then she ended helping for my 3rd year and gave me her GI bill for my senior year (all of this was to my surprise)

Sleep away camps weren't that expensive when I did them but I was also going to girl scout camp and had "cookie dough" from selling cookies. Doesn't the Y do sleep away camps?

SkinnyFatAlbert

Eventually there has to be a college backlash with the insane tuition prices we're seeing. It's become too much of a business. That's why we see so many fluff courses put in as padding that kids can easily pass to feel good about paying thousands a year to come out of school and work in a job completely unrelated to their major. For me, I say if my future children choose to go to college they can finance it themselves through loans. My job until they're old enough to do so will be to try to educate them in a way they don't need college unless there's a specific goal in mind (doctor, lawyer, etc). Keyword of course is try but that's my goal.

spade117

I only wish my parents could have assisted in my college costs like many of my friends...

I've been telling all my kids to be really smart or really good at sports, because I am not helping them pay for college.

teresamwhite

I have 529 plans for my kids, too, and my state rewards kids with good grades and high test scores with money, too (KEES). I've also kept up life insurance for both of them for school. Both of my kids want careers that require at least a 4 year degree.And we are encouraging them to take classes at the junior college, while they are still in high school, when the tuition is almost half. They both compete in judo, and there are some pretty good scholarships for judo (particularly for my daughter).

I also have massive school loans...my GI Bill took care of some of my expenses, but I still have loan payments that are slightly more than my mortgage.

That said, I do as much enrichment with them as I can. We go on road trips, and we sent my daughter to a medical course in Washington DC two years ago. My son is in the Governor's School, and he is taking a free online college course as a freshman in HS. I think its a matter of priorities...even when money is limited, there are still things you can do, and ways to help your kids get ahead.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

I paid for my own college and it REALLY made me think twice about skipping class. I definitely appreciated it much more. My parents helped, but I forked over most of it.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

why is there no option for "hookers and blow"?

*snort*

fishgutzy

Many parents spend a fortune of youth sports hoping their child can win a full ride athletic scholarship. Yet what they spend can more than cover college if they save it. And nearly all D1 schools actively discourage athletes from earning a real marketable degree while in college. That defeats the entire purpose.
Many financial gurus recommend first maxing out 401K, the paying off all debt, including mortgage, before saving a dime for your child's college education.
We made it clear to our kids that they had to get good grades, and they did. My son chose a local college that he can commute to rather than a school requiring on campus living. A huge savings. And he won't have $100K in debt when he finishes his BA. Maybe $20K if he doesn't get some scholarships and grants in the next years.
It is also a myth that one must go to an expensive ivy league school to get a good job. Some of the best engineering schools in the country are state universities. Likewise with nursing and medical schools.
Don't let your child waste tuition by getting a "name-your-grievance" studies degree. :bigsmile:

her4g63

I was one who had to pay for my entire schooling -- books, living, classes, etc. And honestly? I prefered it that way. While I'm up to my head in debt (paid off almost $50K already and still have about $25k to go - weeee), I certainly paid more attention in school, worked harder and did my absolute best because I had to pay for it. I knew the consequences of having to take a class over again and since I was paying for it, I knew it would bite me in the butt not to work harder. I'm not certain I would have been as successful if I would have had my entire schooling paid for.

I have two accounts set up for my daughter -- one for schooling/down payment on a house and the other for us to experience things in the world. I'm sure you can guess which gets slightly more funding per month (:

happysherri

I supply my children with food and shelter. Can't really afford much else.

This. I am divorced and after all the costs of living and the extra curriculars, neither one of us have the money to do anything more. I don't believe going into debt just to pay for my kids' college. My sisters and I did okay without help, I'm sure they'll be just fine.

Having said that, I do think it's Super Cool that you are having life experiences with your kids and that is something they will always remember. Like I said above, they will do fine in college.

hookilau

For other parents, if you only have some side money for either college savings OR something else (such as sleep-away-camps, travel, enrichment activities), which would you choose?

I often second-guess our decision on this matter. We're choosing the latter choice.
- Instead of reading about the Great Wall of China, we're taking the kids there.
- Going to Iceland or Alaska to see icebergs before they all melt.
- Going camping in the Grand Canyon.

But:
- A 3-week trip to Asia is like buying a small car.
- A week of summer camp at a marine biology lab is easily one month of mortgage payment.
- Don't get me started on sleep-away camp.

So instead of saving the full amount every month, we put away a pitiful amount toward college (probably won't even be enough to buy college books), and save the remainder toward an enrichment/experience.

This article made me think

---

http://www.cafemom.com/group/107447/forums/read/18824269/Influencer_Post_2?prism_id=160895&utm_medium=sem2&utm_campaign=prism&utm_source=internal&utm

Appreciate your thoughts/feedback/what did you do for your kids?
Amanda

We do the best we can, but here's our plan. By the way, our kids are currently 17 and 24 yrs old.
They both got jobs young, the eldest started working in an Animal Hospital at 14 yrs and the youngest started working in a different Animal Hospital at 16 yrs old.

I worked in Animal Hospitals for over 25 yrears....got the following advice from the eldest doctors, who knew my kids from since they were small & raised their own multitude of children.

Me: how am I going to pay for Vet school (facepalm) as I relish a mixture of lament and joy all at the same time :indifferent:

DVM: :noway: big ol' eyeroll....YOU don't pay for Vet school dummy, SHE does. If you want to, pay for community college, by the time she's done, she'll be working part or full time & she can transfer to Vet school & take on loans. Duh. :noway:

Me: Duh. :blushing:

.....and we did exactly that :drinker:

ETA: both kids have decided to become Veterinarians...color me proud!!!:bigsmile:

kelsully

I wish I had some more "exotic" life experiences but I have to say my favorite memories are the camping trips we took...cheap and fun. My parents paid for college for me provided I kept my academic scholarship. I think it was a nice balance.

For my own kids we are allowing them to be active in sports and music and the like and it sucks our budget up but they are learning who they are in ways that a vacation might not provide.

Mama_Jag

I want my kids to experience things now - it will help shape their decisions later. That being said, we do have to be choosy - money is limited.

I was also given good advice on finances, and it was - save for your own retirement, not for your kids to go to college. You can get a loan for education, you can't for your retirement. I know that wasn't your question, but that advice has stuck with me!

Unknown

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hookilau

I paid for my own college and it REALLY made me think twice about skipping class. I definitely appreciated it much more. My parents helped, but I forked over most of it.

We did this with our eldest & most adventurous child :laugh: First, we paid for her community college classes, she flunked & didn't go :huh: She decided she wanted to work & increased her hours to full time & enjoyed the fruits of her labor for a while....now she's back in school :bigsmile: This time, she's paying of it all on her own and she's going to EVERY. SINGLE. CLASS. :laugh:

Even better, she's actually taking it seriously as she now sees at 24, that she's wasted a bit of time & she now has the maturity to see it through.

I always knew she could do it, just was hoping she'd catch on before I closed my eyes for the last time :laugh:

Morninglory81

When did college tuition become the parents responsibility?

Unknown

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pteryndactyl

I don't have kids yet (sorry) but I fully intend on focusing on various types of enrichment more-so than strictly college savings. It's just not me, nor my lifestyle. I traveled as a kid. Some of my first memories are of having tea parties in ancient, abandoned castles in Spain. Then, my parents had some money issues and I was on my own for college. While I was in college, money became OK again and we started traveling again...I've been to 16 new countries within the last 5 years. Do I wish they had spent that money on my tuition? No! (I must add, my latest trip to Asia was largely funded by me as well.) I have traveled more extensively than most of my peers and I have a bigger worldview because of it. I understand cultural differences, I'm more empathetic, I'm more confident in myself, and I'm not so egocentric as to think my country is the only one that matters (not saying all, but many, Americans think so).

Also, perhaps due to my own experiences, my chosen career field will likely take me abroad to live in another country so I wouldn't be surprised if my children not only traveled the world, but lived in various places too! (A sort of joke of mine, I'll consider myself a failure if my children aren't fluent in at least 2 languages by middle school.)

That's my ~plan~, of course life can be unexpected so who knows. Basically, I'm all for alternative learning experiences. Your kids will learn so much more about the Great Wall by walking on it than they would out of a textbook.

NatalieWinning

I have 4 kids. 3 are in their mid to late 20's, one is 13. They all earned half their age allowance IF they did their progressive responsibilities. Clean the room by Sunday (if not by Sunday then they still have to clean it, but got no allowance) and extra job opportunities as well as responsibilities. I didn't keep the budget secret for adults only. We occasionally splurged and traveled. They are only young once. I didn't want close minded kids that never saw the world. If they wanted "junk" I had them buy it with their own allowance. They learned pretty quick that some junk isn't worth what they paid. They saved up for some of that junk and learned to make choices - first small and then large.

I know the 13 year old is headed for College of some sort. The first did and had huge student loans, but is very responsibly paying them off. She had a paper route at 10yrs old (It was a great deal of work for me to oversee it at first but that's how they learn). She had plenty of money because she's always had a job, she's spent a lot on silly fun things, but she doesn't regret it at all. She still would rather have money for fun than "things". That's not a bad way to live. She's exceptional as a student and has a career she worked toward, doing very well. One joined the military and is getting his classes during the military on their bill, mostly. Also working his way up in that career while plodding away being a responsible adult. One wasn't cut out for school and maybe never will be. He's been taking care of his own business for years now, he's also made his own luck and is basically living a life that's pretty exciting overall, but also grounded in paying his way. In other words, they watched some of their peers take a dive because they never had to take care of their own stuff, and they turned out pretty mature with their budgets from early progressive practice. Going on to college was their choices, not mandated. I wished I had more, but it worked out so far.

I pretty much gave all I had (not much) to the first child. We'll be doing the pitiful savings route for the last. They all worked when they were old enough and had spending money of their own and made choices like borrowing my car and having the deductible in the bank in case they wrecked it, or buying a car and making their own insurance payments. The older ones bought their own cell phones if they wanted one and handled the bill. Plenty of mistakes were made. What they do say is that they don't regret the money they wasted. And that they knew how to handle their money much better than their peers once they left home.

Of course, it would have been ideal to have the college money help. But they turned out budget minded and frugal, yet still knew how to have fun. They did things, and were in things in a moderate way. They have all traveled all along, and done interesting things, and that continued into young adulthood. I think learning early a gradual budget responsibility that was on their terms was what made them responsible adults. I like that they aren't only focused on getting more things, too, but living life.

In other words. Prepare as much as you can, but not instead of also having a life and getting experiences now. Teach them to be financially responsible, accountable, and still have as much fun as budgets allow. We're going somewhere cool every so often now that there is only one at home. Sometimes we have to stretch more than we should for it. But I know it's worth it. All things in moderation and flexibility.

MzManiak

I spend any extra money on their activities/ vacations/ etc. Once they go off to college/ join the miltary/ etc... I can spend that extra money on tuition, books, savings, whatever. No sense in humbugging it now, saving for the future, when the future is never really promised, kwim?

Unknown

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huango

Thank you very much for your input and experiences.

With these responses, now you see why I am often torn about our decision.

Yes, it would be great to graduate w/out a TON of loans.
- I had the most loans compared to my friends, which really limited my decisions when choosing my career/1st job. I HAD to take the higher paying job (so not fun and not my cup of tea: coding lines and lines in a cubicle) to pay off my large debt (quite small compared to what kids are graduating with today), unlike some of my friends who had options (or parents to support them while they get on their feet).

Yes, my children will go to college, and live on campus.
- I "GREW UP" so much during my 4 years at a great small engineering college. I learned so much, academically AND about life, about who I was, and made my life-long friends.
- My cousins who lived at home while going to college had totally different experiences from me and I actually feel bad for them (not really, since they're doctors and lawyers now )
- My kids are pretty left-brain so I do see a future in engineering or something along that path. So yes, definitely college-bound.

We are pretty fortunate that our budget does allow for the basics which include:
- food/shelter/clothing
- swim lessons
- musical lessons
- foreign language school
- sports fees (we know about ski-program costs, but haven't ventured into golf or sailing yet). Daughter might have to work at the ranch to pay toward her riding lessons.


Many plans/ideas/trips:
- Machu Picchu, Peru
- Redwood forest/National park, CA
- Italy for amazing Italian food/culture
- Brazil for soccer/culture: GOAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!
- skiing in Whistler, British Columbia


Just read some more posts:
- thank you very much for your advice/feedback.
- Natalie "Prepare as much as you can... Teach them to be financially responsible, accountable, and still have as much fun as budgets allow." <--- I like that.
- HumAlong: "I have a bigger worldview because of it. I understand cultural differences, I'm more empathetic, I'm more confident in myself.." <--- That is what I hope for my children, and I hope to be a positive influence/impact on my children based on our decision for life-experiences.


Oh, yes, we need to do all of this stuff DURING school vacations or summer vacations, according to DH who does not like taking the kids out of school time. Yes, they will miss so much of art class where they glue 2 toilet paper tubes together to become binoculars.


Don't get me started on my other thought:
- If my children are smart/capable enough to get admitted into an Ivy League school, how can I as a parent not support that decision, but to suggest a less expensive school?

While I don't see myself as a failure, I do regret that I was not good enough for MIT.
I do truly loved my colleges (BS, MBA), but there's always that "did not get into top tier school".

I have many years.
DS flips between wanting to own a restaurant (he loves food) to wanting to be the fry guy (loves French fries) to wanting to cure cancer to being the best skier to being a ninja.
DD wants to be Taylor Swift or an engineer "like Mommy" or a Mommy or a doctor or a vet or entomologist (she freaks me out with her comfort with bugs and worms/snails, she holds them like you would hold a ladybug).

Appreciate more of your experiences.
Thanks,
Amanda

teresamwhite

It's not required to pay for tuition for your kids...I get that. And I have no intention of paying for everything, and my kids know they have to get good grades and take advantage of opportunities as they present themselves in order to get the most out of their lives. They also save half of their allowances, lawn mowing and babysitting money, money from recycling, half their cash gifts for birthdays and the holidays, because they know they need to contribute financially for their futures, too. (My kids are 14 and 10, BTW) Our famlies are involved, too. Mine are the only kids with three bachelor uncles, and two uncles that are married, but no kids. So we respond, when they ask about gifts, "A savings bond would be nice! College ain't cheap!" My dad is really good about that...he is a no-nonsense military vet and he would prefer to give them an investment rather than a plastic toy that will be forgotten and donated next year.

I believe it's my responsibility, though, to get them a good start in life, YMMV. I worked with them to read before they started kindergarten, for example. When they express an interest, we research it together and find ways to apply that.

It costs me roughly $30 per month for each kid, since they were born, to build a cushion for them. That's 2-3 evenings of eating out for most families, or a serious afternoon's worth of clipping coupons for the month. To me, it's worth it so they can start their professional lives without crippling debt...not "be debt-free", but manageable on their expected incomes as new graduates.

NatalieWinning

One huge thing I learned is that you can't imagine for your kids what they will be or whats best. They are not you. They didn't grow up in your era. They will find it themselves and your experience and lifetime put on them will limit them. Direct them to a good direction and prepare them, yeah. But you can't imagine what their best road will be. What the best road to that will be. Those jobs may not be around, then. I couldn't have guided my kids to the places they put themselves. The background work was good. That was my job. Laying down a path would have put up walls for them. It didn't hurt they weren't too good to do what it took to get where they wanted to be. Build that kind of kid and step back and watch them bloom.