parents: college savings OR other enrichment activities?

kikokateyy

My current job (the one i got after paying for my own college education, which i make $32000 before taxes) has commented numerous times how my travels when i was younger have helped. You learn how to deal with people from all cultures, you learn customs and tolerance for others. you learn things that a history or geography book will never teach you. It gives you something you can talk about with people. I can talk to more people about my travels than about my education.

Its pretty much the same here, but we also have the oil rigs.... not sure how much people are paid tho. I think here in Alberta the minimum wage is $9.95....

You edited this, so I wanted to respond to this as well. You got your job and that acceptable paycheck because you completed school and got a degree. Did your employer have any idea when you got hired about your childhood travels? Even if they did, are you saying that going to the Martin Luther King Jr. museum when you were five years old is the reason you got your job and that paycheck?

And, again, people don't need to travel to learn to treat people with respect. They should be taught that very early by their parents or guardian, and that adult should lead by example. Traveling doesn't teach respect for other customs; a couple of days in another country only exposes you to new people and a new language, and that's hardly enough time to build tolerance or understanding for a new people or culture. White Americans and Black and brown Americans have lived together for a couple hundred years. Hundreds of years together, and still not nearly enough tolerance, respect, or understanding. I don't think it makes a difference whether you take a plane or spend a lot of money; tolerance is learned, not bought or acquired on a road trip or flight.

We talked more about my travels than my actual credentials. So yes, I do think they played a part in my job. Did the museum help? maybe, but i know that when i went to Malaysia at 15 and went to the Petronas Towers helped. I work for an international company, I saw where our offices were without knowing at that age.

Youre right, you dont. But i think it helps.

Had you gone to public or private school instead of home schooling for the majority of your grade school years, you may have a different view. Like if i was was home schooled. (I dont mean for that to sound rude!) The reason why I think you learn tolerance more when traveling is because you are being forced into their culture and to follow their customs.

safrinaxx

I feel so bad reading this all the way from the UK...

AliciaStinger

why is there no option for "hookers and blow"?

That's precisely what I was thinking...

Heehee ok on a serious note, I've got some thoughts from the perspective of a current collegiate. Honestly I think you need to strike a balance. Sure I wish my folks had blown bucketloads of money on expensive trips and camps, but being able to choose almost any college in the country thanks to their savings and all the merit scholarships I'd earned was far more important to me. I would've been heartbroken had I gotten into Cornell and wasn't able to go for financial reasons.

So a few thoughts:
1) a lot of enrichment activities are not guaranteed wallet-drainers. In high school I volunteered at two hospitals, was in 3 community service clubs, did 2 sports and many other activities that lent to a killer resume and invaluable learning experiences.
2) day trips are great! My folks really drilled into our heads the value of travel and appreciation of culture. Shocker: there's a lot to be learned from our own history right here in the States. I've lived overseas so I'll admit, yes that is about as enriching as it gets, but there is a ton to be learned at nearby historical sites, national parks, and city museums.
3) no reason your kids can't chip in. I worked 2 jobs all through high school. By the time I'd finished applying to various colleges and merit scholarships, I'd written over 35 different essays. Hard work pays off. You can have your cake and eat it too! But only one slice because this is mfp:)

Moral of the story: college savings and enrichment activities are not mutually exclusive unless you make them. Which is just silly.

According to OP:

"DS flips between wanting to own a restaurant (he loves food) to wanting to be the fry guy (loves French fries) to wanting to cure cancer to being the best skier to being a ninja.
DD wants to be Taylor Swift or an engineer "like Mommy" or a Mommy or a doctor or a vet or entomologist (she freaks me out with her comfort with bugs and worms/snails, she holds them like you would hold a ladybug)"

I get the feeling we're not quite at high school level...in fact, if the one wants to be a ninja, it might still be another 7-10 years before s/he gets there, and another four years after that until college. This is why I object to sacrificing the college savings for "enrichment activities"; if the kid is that young, what is s/he actually going to learn from this that will help her/him in any way when it comes time to get a job?

You do make excellent points though. These activities don't have to be quite so expensive. Frankly, if I had that money, I'd be able to finish school and put some down on a house. I'm so broke right now that I couldn't afford to have children, let alone save for their college education. I think if the OP wants to spend that much money, she should donate to families in need of food and shelter. There are other kids on this planet who'd be glad if they could go to bed or class with a full stomach.

Momf3boys

I have been with the same employer for 22 years but the last I checked a job application asked what your highest level of education was but nowhere did they ask how were your family vacations and where did you go...just a thought...

AliciaStinger

My current job (the one i got after paying for my own college education, which i make $32000 before taxes) has commented numerous times how my travels when i was younger have helped. You learn how to deal with people from all cultures, you learn customs and tolerance for others. you learn things that a history or geography book will never teach you. It gives you something you can talk about with people. I can talk to more people about my travels than about my education.

Its pretty much the same here, but we also have the oil rigs.... not sure how much people are paid tho. I think here in Alberta the minimum wage is $9.95....

You edited this, so I wanted to respond to this as well. You got your job and that acceptable paycheck because you completed school and got a degree. Did your employer have any idea when you got hired about your childhood travels? Even if they did, are you saying that going to the Martin Luther King Jr. museum when you were five years old is the reason you got your job and that paycheck?

And, again, people don't need to travel to learn to treat people with respect. They should be taught that very early by their parents or guardian, and that adult should lead by example. Traveling doesn't teach respect for other customs; a couple of days in another country only exposes you to new people and a new language, and that's hardly enough time to build tolerance or understanding for a new people or culture. White Americans and Black and brown Americans have lived together for a couple hundred years. Hundreds of years together, and still not nearly enough tolerance, respect, or understanding. I don't think it makes a difference whether you take a plane or spend a lot of money; tolerance is learned, not bought or acquired on a road trip or flight.

We talked more about my travels than my actual credentials. So yes, I do think they played a part in my job. Did the museum help? maybe, but i know that when i went to Malaysia at 15 and went to the Petronas Towers helped. I work for an international company, I saw where our offices were without knowing at that age.

Youre right, you dont. But i think it helps.

Had you gone to public or private school instead of home schooling for the majority of your grade school years, you may have a different view. Like if i was was home schooled. (I dont mean for that to sound rude!) The reason why I think you learn tolerance more when traveling is because you are being forced into their culture and to follow their customs.

If you work for an international company, then maybe traveling did help YOU - but how is looking at the ice caps going to help a small child become an engineer, or cure cancer, or even be a ninja? You said you went to Malaysia at 15, but we're not talking about 15-year-olds. According to OP:

"DS flips between wanting to own a restaurant (he loves food) to wanting to be the fry guy (loves French fries) to wanting to cure cancer to being the best skier to being a ninja.
DD wants to be Taylor Swift or an engineer "like Mommy" or a Mommy or a doctor or a vet or entomologist (she freaks me out with her comfort with bugs and worms/snails, she holds them like you would hold a ladybug)."

I live near Chicago, and have quite a bit of diversity in my life. I have friends who are Jamaican, Italian, Assyrian, German, Indian, Armenian, Native American, Hispanic, Polish, Russian, Ukranian, African, Australian, Canadian, Irish, and Persian. I'm Jewish, and my three best friends are Christian, Buddhist, and Muslim, and we have exchanged stories about our traditions on several occasions. Where I come from, all you need is an open mind and willingness to ask questions, and you can learn whatever you want about culture and customs. However, one can still learn about these things in classes or out of books. Is it the same as talking to people? No - but are you planning on practicing any of these things? If not, then a basic knowledge is probably good enough, and that can be learned without travel. Then again, as I mentioned, I live in a pretty diverse place; maybe that isn't the case where you live, and perhaps that contributes to why you feel travel is a necessity.

As for home school vs. public school, it again depends on the person. I have public school friends who travel, and they think it's a chore. I also have public school friends who decided to study abroad, or travel between college semesters to places that have some interest or importance to them. (And since they're older, they can appreciate these travels much better than OP's very young children.) These friends actually enjoy traveling. However, I never met a home educated child who disliked traveling, because when you're home schooled, all of these things are adventures. Still, how anyone feel about traveling is pretty much irrelevant to the overall important issue here: getting a degree is supposed to help people get jobs. You are much more likely to get a good job with a degree than a scrapbook or the vague memory of seeing the ice caps while they were still ice. Maybe travel was of importance in your career choice, but for MOST, this is not the case. I have never heard an interviewer ask, "how many places have you been to?" In the long run, getting a college education is FAR more important than paying for a young child to travel. With a good education and a good career, the children can (as adults) travel to places that actually have meaning to them.

Salt_Sand_Sun

College first!!

Thankfully we started a college savings plan on our kids first birthday. Its just like any other bill I pay each and every month.

Extra money goes towards adventures. My daughter has quite a few frequent flyer miles, unfortunately her brother has a bit of catching up to do. We also try to find things locally that many people over look. So while we may never see the Great Wall of China, my kids have island hopped the Caribbean. We have plans for more and one day it might happen. But I can assure you my kids are not deprived of the world around them. Its all about presentation.

But college was an option for me and I regret that now...I didn't finish until my late 20's. I want my kids to know that after high school is college - its the next step.

Momf3boys

I understand where you're coming from and I'm a firm believer that experience is much more valuable than book knowledge...unfortunately experience doesn't help much in this day on a job application. I have a family member who was laid off from their employer due to budget cuts...she had 30 years of experience in her field...it took her 2 1/2 years to get a decent job....the majority of jobs that are even posted these days REQUIRE a college degree...it's not an option, it's necessary and for those jobs that don't require a degree you are still competing against those individuals that do have them and they will get the job over you...it's a fact. At my agency of 33,000 employees, OVER 1/3 of the positions REQUIRE a college degree....I don't make the rules, I just know what it's like out there and for that reason I have college funds for my children...oh times, they are a changin...

cwolfman13

Personally, I'd say a little of both. That's what we're doing. We stash a little away for the boys in a trust fund every month...sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less...sometimes it's nothing depending on what's going on that month. The money will grow overtime with the market; if they're lucky it will substantially offset the cost of their higher education...if they're really lucky it'll pay for the whole thing.

We do that, but we also do any number of enrichment activities...many of which are in our own back yard. Everyone thinks they have to go hither and yonder for this kind of stuff...a lot can be had right at home and then embark on a big adventure every couple years or so.

We travel every 2-3 years to the UK to see my wife's family and I'm sure that will be very enriching for the boys when they become older. We also take annual trips to various National Parks in the old pop up camper...we go somewhere different every year. In New Mexico there are also numerous historic pueblos, state parks, national monuments, and other historic points of interest like White Sands Missile Range, etc...these are enrichment opportunities right here in our own back yard.

huango

Whoa: didn't expect this many diverse responses.

Just a reminder, my original post started with: "For other parents, if you only have *****some SIDE**** money".
I don't mean if you are struggling to pay mortgage or gas for your car to get to work, etc, but if you covered the "basics".

Sorry that in my post, my basics included beyond just food/shelter/clothing.
- having not learn how to properly swim (I can barely float), I put swimming lessons as a SAFETY issue.
- music lessons - again, our food/shelter/clothing are covered, I would like my children to be exposed to musical instruments (something which I did not have the opportunity, because we didn't have the money to rent the instrument from the school).
- foreign language - our school system starts languages in ?7th or 9th grade. That is WAY too late to start learning a foreign language.

Someone mentioned that since we're so fortunate, we should help others. We do contribute to a lot of charities. I also contribute my time/energy.

But my posts must be misleading on these following:
- we are not wealthy. We are middle class, with similar middle class struggles. How do we pay for braces, how to budget in an ipad purchase for school use (all 5th graders need an ipad), etc?

- my children are in elementary school now, but the trips/activities I have planned are for the next 10+ years, not just this month, so they will enjoy the trips. We just went to Niagara Falls this summer and they were beyond excited. My kids love to travel and try new things/food.

- my thread was not about whether or not my children will go to college (if I use the money on vacations, etc) because THEY WILL GO TO COLLEGE. We will help pay toward tuition; we're just not going to go broke or go without for the next 10+years just so they have college fund. (Note: we do pay ourselves first toward retirement fund).

I really thank you for sharing your life-experiences and your struggles with school loans, or freedom from school loans.
I also enjoy your parenting advice/recommendations, as I learn daily how to parent my children.

Thank you,
Amanda

ZombieSlayer

I supply my children with food and shelter. Can't really afford much else.

This.

Just in the last year, we've been able to set up savings accounts, both for the family and for the kids.

The kids each have $25 in theirs, as a starter. Any gift money they get from relatives will be split in half; half in savings, half spent on them until they each turn 5. Then they get to help decide how the money gets split/spent. At some point between 12 & 16 (i.e. when ready) they'll get their debit card and can choose without parental help.

The family has two savings accounts. One short term/emergency, in a local bank. One long term, in an e-bank, that takes a few days to get the money out of. Both of these recently got wiped out by emergency car repairs, not that there was much in them yet.

To answer the original question: Family savings, when not needed for emergencies, will be spent on travel/enrichment. The kids get to decide how they're saving for college, if they choose to go.

Buckeyegirlbritt

Because I homeschool my children, I would go with the option you chose knowing their are grants, scholarships, and loans my children could apply for if they choose to go to college. It's a tough call saying employers what to see a diploma or a certificate of sorts saying you qualify for the job, even if you had done the job you applied for for a decade.

My husband and I put snippets away and it might only add up to $5000-$10,000 per kid, but they can take that money and go to school or start their life. Unless you are going to force your kid to go to college, what else are you going to do with the money?

MelRC117

This is a cop out, but a little bit of both. We probably will be able to help purchase books, help with the extra fees, and then money for food, but kids can also have the option of financial aid. That is available to everyone (well, I don't think if you were charged with a drug offense you can) and they DO offer enough in loans to cover tuition, fees, and other expenses. I don't want my kids to get to college and have to tell them I can't help out in any way.

My idea is that if my children do well in school, they don't sit at home playing video games instead of looking for a job after graduation, I will help payback their student loans. That way they are still on the hook for it if they don't earn it.

Let's be honest, you can't put on a resume that you went to China for 3 weeks. Some jobs have minimum education requirements.

Also, I did a trip to Asia for 3 weeks during Winter Break in college. I was old enough to appreciate it, I got college credits, it was cheaper than if I had done it on my own, and I had experiences I would have never had just going through a travel agency. There's alot of opportunities for travel in college too.

kyleekay10

For other parents, if you only have some side money for either college savings OR something else (such as sleep-away-camps, travel, enrichment activities), which would you choose?

I often second-guess our decision on this matter. We're choosing the latter choice.
- Instead of reading about the Great Wall of China, we're taking the kids there.
- Going to Iceland or Alaska to see icebergs before they all melt.
- Going camping in the Grand Canyon.

But:
- A 3-week trip to Asia is like buying a small car.
- A week of summer camp at a marine biology lab is easily one month of mortgage payment.
- Don't get me started on sleep-away camp.

So instead of saving the full amount every month, we put away a pitiful amount toward college (probably won't even be enough to buy college books), and save the remainder toward an enrichment/experience.

This article made me think

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http://www.cafemom.com/group/107447/forums/read/18824269/Influencer_Post_2?prism_id=160895&utm_medium=sem2&utm_campaign=prism&utm_source=internal&utm

Appreciate your thoughts/feedback/what did you do for your kids?
Amanda

I haven't read the whole thread, and I'm not a parent. But here's my two cents.

My parents did not start a college savings account for me. What that means for me, is that at 22 years old, I only have about 20 credits under my belt towards my degree. I have to pay my own way through school, with no help from anyone. I've been working full time since I was 17.

Am I upset about it? Nope. I used to resent the fact that they did not save up for me, but I realize now that I'm glad they didn't. Because they chose to spend money on enrichment activities, I had a very fullfilling dance and softball "careers", I've been to Mexico several times, Australia, New Zealand, Jamaica, Italy, Spain, France and I've traveled a lot within the US itself. Those experiences were amazing, and something not everyone will ever have the chance to do. Plus, having to pay my way through school instills a sense of financial responsibility for me. I wouldn't trade in my cultural experiences for a college fund.

MelRC117

For other parents, if you only have some side money for either college savings OR something else (such as sleep-away-camps, travel, enrichment activities), which would you choose? Appreciate your thoughts/feedback/what did you do for your kids?
Amanda

The enrichment part is important, for sure and I agree with you. The only issue I would have is if you lacked funding for college as a result and they used a tax-payer supported program to go through college. If so, then you're basically ask me, as tax-payer to fund your kids college while you go on trips.

Not a fan of that. But if you and/or your kids can fund college through student loans, scholarships and a part time job, then yes, do the enrichment aspect of it!

People pay interest on student loans so the government actually makes money on them.

iamanadult

both

kyleekay10

3. Don't sacrifice the education your kids need for one that does them no good. I admire your desire for your kids to have these wonderful and irreplaceable experiences, but a high school diploma just doesn't cut it anymore.

I dont think they are sacraficing their kids education at all. They are giving them more knowledge by traveling and sending them away then a book could ever teach them. Just because they are choosing to have different experiences than paying for college doesnt mean their sacraficing their education....

She flat out asked if she should save money for her kids' education or spend it on camp and vacations. I skipped first grade and was home schooled until high school. I know about "different experiences". Her kids are too young to fully appreciate or remember what they're learning. These vacations are most likely not providing her kids with anything of real or lasting value (besides pictures), especially when compared to a college education.

Your experiences are different than the ones she wants to give her kids. Its different travling across the states and Canada than it is traveling to China. I was 5 when i went to the Martin Luther King Jr Museum, I remember it without pictures and I remember what is so significant (I am Canadian , so we were never really taught about Martin Luther King Jr...). I am the same age as you and I am so thankful my parents did what they had done for me.

I don't know how it works in Canada *(because I was seven years old when I was there and all I remember was that it was cold, and that a pigeon slept on the patio of our hotel)* but here in the states, people who can't afford to finish school have two options: construction work, or food service - and even then, I think many construction jobs require an AA. If she wants her kids to make $7.25 an hour for 15 hours a week of flipping burgers, that's her choice. She's talking about sending them to Ivy League schools, and you can't do that on $5,655.00 a year. What lessons or certificates were you awarded by traveling that will land you a job? I've been to more museums than anyone I know, and more states, but I'm making a whopping $12.95 an hour. I couldn't even afford to live alone on what I'm making. I need my degree to get a job that I can afford to live on - and since money is an important factor in eating, wearing clothes, and living indoors, that's kind of important to me.

I wanted to reply again to address the bolded part above. Those certainly aren't the only options. I am the same age as you (22) and I've yet to finish my degree- I am paying my own way through school, and do not plan to take out loans until I go to a University (I'm taking my general credits at a community college). Yet here I am at my age, making $37,500/year. You know how I made that happen? I started at the bottom of my company, and worked my butt off to show them that skills are not always tied to a college degree.

My aunt is another great example. She never went to college, yet she pulls in close to six figures a year.

People who want a higher education will get that education by any means possible- I am an example of that. I love learning, and know that someday I will need a degree to move into my desired field. I am very grateful to my parents for opting to provide me with cultural opportunities instead of a large savings account. As it stands, it's much easier for me to pay as I go with school, then it would be to save up to travel the world (reference my previous post if you'd like to see where I've traveled).