I Will Never Have an "After" Picture...

Yanicka1

From my blog....,

Learned helplessness .......

It might not be lack of motivation

Let me tell you a story. A long time ago, a baby elephant was born in captivity. While he was very little, his handlers used a chain to tie his leg to the ground. The little elephant pulled and pulled trying to get free but it never worked. Now that the elephant is full grown, the same chain is keeping him in place even tho he could easily break it. This phenomenon is called learned helplessness.

Learned helplessness is the condition of a human or animal that has learned to behave helplessly, failing to respond even though there are opportunities for it to help itself by avoiding unpleasant circumstances or by gaining positive rewards. Learned Helplessness theory is the view that clinical depression and related mental illnesses may result from a perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation.Organisms that have been ineffective and less sensitive in determining the consequences of their behavior are defined as having acquired Learned Helplessness.

All that is very interesting but why is it posted on a fitness board? Because how many time do we see a thread about someone not doing what they need to do in order to take control of their weight and health? So many of us tried and failed at this.....I am sure we all have a story about using this diet or that diet and failing, or succeeding and than gaining it all back. The worst is that when we fail, we feel it is our fault. Not the fact that the diet is so low in calories that you will binge, or making it so restrictive that you freak out at the idea of a family Sunday diner, or fearing whole group of food or nutrients.

So we fail, and we fail, and we fail....we end up fatter than ever believing that it is our fault. We tugged and tugged at this damn chain and some of us end up thinking that we can't win at this. Heck how many time do we see in the success story that " I was not even sure I could do it"

For some, sadly it is not even worth it to try. For the others, those who come here and log more than a month, I know that you doubt your ability to do lose the weight. To do the "right" thing, to exercise even tho you were always the last picked in gym class. It is very hard to be successful if you have no faith in your capacities.

Now you have those who are successful. Usually they will tell you to eat enough, to not sweat that nice birthday diner, not to be scared of that bowl of ice cream that you can fit in you calories allowance. That you do not have to run for hours to see results and they are giving you this advice for free........quite different from the "diet industry" no?

I know that it is so different and might be scary.......but my question to you is, will you pull on that chain? The chain of the diet industry, those who want to sell you books, or a program, or this cleanse, or that pre packaged food. .....those persons and companies like you helpless, otherwise how can they tell you what to do for a price. Tugging on that chain is taking everything you think is true and researching the other side of the story. You might confirmed what you were thinking.......or not. Take the power, believe that you do have that power.

brenn24179

Just get out of your head, and stay out of your head! You may not know "why" right now....but that doesn't have to stop you! I agree with the changing your mindset. If revving yourself up the night before, only to talk yourself out of it isn't working? Just treat your workout like it is something you can't miss--a dentist appt, a date with your hubby, an appt to get your hair did....you wouldn't just not show up for those people, right? So, show up for you!

AFWIW...I'm 5'5, 175 lbs. Weight is a number--an indicator--not a definition of success. And take pictures. Lot's of pictures...so that you can prove yourself wrong about the whole after picture!

brenn24179

I agree you have to take care of yourself, going to the dentist, hair dresser,etc. I realized it was up to me to put others on the back burner for a change and take care of me.

teamAmelia

You once lost 90 pounds in a year, and over 30 pounds in six months. First off, I'm jealous, sort of...I know that I'll lose just as much in six months if I stick to it. I believe that if you're negative and don't think that you can do something, guess what, you're not going to. Just stop being negative. You may not have been as skinny as you would have liked to have been when you lost 90 pounds. Maybe for your body type, you just need to lose more weight and get toned. See a trainer, and good luck!

lauranneuk

If you believe you won't have an after picture, you won't. Only you can get that picture and if you want it, you have to work for it. No one ever got anywhere by quitting.

Think of all the the things you've already overcome. You did that. If you want to keep losing, you do it. You can have those after pictures and you will have those after pictures. You can do anything. I believe in you, you need to find that belief in yourself. Stay strong. Feel free to add me if you want x and remember to say to yourself daily/hourly/minute "I can do anything"

teamAmelia

THIS!

How do I keep pushing myself when I'm NOT motivated??

Till you resolve this, nothing anyone says here is going to matter much. It's a commitment and unless you see it that way, then you'll keep going the way you're going.


A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

JaneAero

There are some really good positive thinking/weight loss/motivational videos free on youtube. I quite often listen to them through headphones whilst playing online games, I use self hypnosis every day. Come on MFP everyday, log your food, read a few posts, keep focused, you only need to focus on ONE day, not yesterday or tomorrow, just this ONE day, today. Its no different to stoppping smoking in that regards. The only thing you need to do is to COMMIT. Every morning when you wake up, just make the first thought be I to go on MFP, log your breakfast/lunch and dinner. Make that commitment in the same way you would commit to always brushing your teeth, make it your routine.

Its got to the stage now where I have committed to coming on here every day and focusing on my diet and calorie intake, getting into the right frame of mind & making it a habit. I dont even think will I be able to do this forever, I KNOW I can focus on it every day, it hardly takes anytime at all.

You will be making friends, we are all in this jouney together, you will be surrounded by like minded people. You dont need will power, there's no effort involved, what you do need is determination. You need to make the decision come hell or high water that you will come on MFP and log, interact with people, read a few stories, get into it and the rest will come naturally.

You know when people make a commitment to get married they dont worry how they're going to stay married every day, they just make that public commitment and get on with it for better or worse, so you have to do the same with losing weight. Just make a start, any start and keep going. Some of us my friend are driving along in rolls royce bodies, some of us (like me) are driving along in a clapped out old banger, but we're all rolling along , you're in charge of the brakes, nobody else.

slim4health56

Some great advice here...just want to add something else to think about...

Do you really think people eat because they want to be overweight and/or unhealthy? Personally, I don't believe that. I think it's two competing forces and eating for comfort, or because it tastes good, or because we're bored or sad or angry or simply out of habit or addiction or ____________ (you fill in the blank) means immediate gratification. It's simply easier to continue to eat than to be mindful of our health.

You CAN lose weight. You ARE stronger than your urges to overeat. You have the inalienable RIGHT to be healthy.

YesIAm17

What kind of person do you want to be?

What kind of shape do you want to be in?

How will you feel when you are that kind of person in that kind of shape?

Take your answers to these questions and reword them into the present tense.

"I Am ______" .... "Now That I Am ______ I Feel ______" .... etc

Print them out.

Everyday when you get up grab that piece of paper and read it, a few times, with some real positive feeling in it. Fake it if you have to, like an actor rehearsing with a script.

Do it early and often.

Do it at night too.

No matter how much it might seem like you aren't moving towards actually becoming that kind of person in that kind of shape, keep saying it everyday anyway.

No matter how much you are convinced that you cannot or will not succeed, keep saying it everyday anyway.

With positive feeling and enthusiasm (even if it's fake) burn the words into your brain.

Eventually the words and feelings will overpower any thoughts or feelings that oppose them. Once that happens you will be on an unstoppable journey to really being that kind of person in that kind of shape.

garrisonwife

I appreciate everyone's responses so so so much. I plan on reading your responses every day if I have to...and I WILL do this!!

I do realize that there are quite a few underlying "issues" going on that I need to address that have nothing to do with the shape of my body. I am a firm believer in choosing how you feel, or choosing how you react to a situation. So, while I KNOW that it should be as simple as me choosing to get up every single day and DO THIS...for some reason, my brain hits a big brick wall. I just need to pick up the sledgehammer and knock the dang wall DOWN, already!!

I truly appreciate you guys taking the time out to encourage me. I need to change. I need to take the control back from my brain. I need to stop overanalyzing every little thing...and (no pun intended) just DO IT!

TheBoev

I seriously just copied and pasted this to hang up for myself. It spoke to me more than reading 1,000 "success story" posts.
OP, we sabotage ourselves more than we realize. In the end, he's right. It's all upstairs. The body can do it, the mind has to believe we can.
Good luck, and know you can!

Because you don't want it bad enough thats why ..

If you really wanted it you would go out and take whats rightfully yours to have in the first place....

Wait whats that ? You say you do want it ? Then you need to pull yourself up by your boot straps and step your *kitten* out into the sun light and start moving..

IN order to be successful you need to change your mind because before your body will change, the mind has to go first.. I think you need to spend a little mirror time with your self.. Look your self right in the eyes and tell yourself, "I can do this, I want this, I am a champion because champions win and I am a winner."

You are still in your old mindset the, mind set that wants to stay home where its comfortable and safe.. Well you have to get uncomfortable if you want to see change .. because when you are uncomfortable is when the real results happen..

You need to not look at the big picture.. You need to take this one day at a time... For what is each day? Its nothing but a series of conflicts between the right way and the easy way....

Ten thousand streams fan out like a delta before you offering you the path of least resistance on daily basis but winners head up stream.. The easy way will always be there ready to wash you away .. You are being washed away right now.... How does that feel ?


Each step you take comes with the decision to take another and you NEED to decide to take that next step because once you begin there is no turning back... Turning back rewards you with nothing but shame.. And winners don't do shame.. They Win.. You want to win right ?

You will always have that voice, that devil in side of you telling you this is stupid, this is uncomfortable, this is a waste of time.. That devil is you .. Thats the old you going to war with the new you breaking free... You need to Drown out that voice with the sound of your heart beat, you need to burn away that self doubt with the fire lit beneath you!!! Because those who want it bad, are the ones who go out and take it... Those are the winners.. Which are you going to be ?

How bad do you want it ?

__freckles__

Because you don't want it bad enough thats why ..

If you really wanted it you would go out and take whats rightfully yours to have in the first place....

Wait whats that ? You say you do want it ? Then you need to pull yourself up by your boot straps and step your *kitten* out into the sun light and start moving..

IN order to be successful you need to change your mind because before your body will change, the mind has to go first.. I think you need to spend a little mirror time with your self.. Look your self right in the eyes and tell yourself, "I can do this, I want this, I am a champion because champions win and I am a winner."

You are still in your old mindset the, mind set that wants to stay home where its comfortable and safe.. Well you have to get uncomfortable if you want to see change .. because when you are uncomfortable is when the real results happen..

You need to not look at the big picture.. You need to take this one day at a time... For what is each day? Its nothing but a series of conflicts between the right way and the easy way....

Ten thousand streams fan out like a delta before you offering you the path of least resistance on daily basis but winners head up stream.. The easy way will always be there ready to wash you away .. You are being washed away right now.... How does that feel ?


Each step you take comes with the decision to take another and you NEED to decide to take that next step because once you begin there is no turning back... Turning back rewards you with nothing but shame.. And winners don't do shame.. They Win.. You want to win right ?

You will always have that voice, that devil in side of you telling you this is stupid, this is uncomfortable, this is a waste of time.. That devil is you .. Thats the old you going to war with the new you breaking free... You need to Drown out that voice with the sound of your heart beat, you need to burn away that self doubt with the fire lit beneath you!!! Because those who want it bad, are the ones who go out and take it... Those are the winners.. Which are you going to be ?

How bad do you want it ?

Bumping so I can read this whenever I need my a** kicked. Oh, and OP - I'll never have the body I had when I was 16...because I'm going to look even better than that. Bam!