I can't help myself

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I really, really, really wanna lose weight. I want to SO bad. But NOTHING is working. I mean, nothing I do to motivate myself, I mean.

The thing is, I HATE sweating unless I'm having fun. And y'know, sports are fun, but I have like one friend who'll play soccer or catch or anything with me, but I can barely do that more than three times a week, let alone every day.

My therapist decided to help make a plan for me to lose weight. She has me starting slow, counting my calories only three days out of the week and one workout a week. That plan was made last wednesday. The counting calories I can do just fine, despite being a picky eater, but I still haven't done the ONE workout. I was suppose to do it last friday, but I haven't. I just don't WANT to. Like I do, but I don't.

The funniest part is, I was doing so well near the beginning of the year. I was fifteen pounds under my then weight. Now I'm like 30 pounds over my weight from then. I've gained like 45 pounds and only one pair of my jeans actually fits anymore. My clothes feel so much tighter and I refuse to conform and buy new clothes because I feel like that's giving in. But the tight clothes aren't motivating enough for me to lose weight, neither is the fact that I feel like a fatass and everyone keeps telling me to stop complaining if I won't do anything about it.

I feel like crying. Some advice please?

MTBrob

Look if you can't help yourself. You will never reach your goals. Your problem is you just don't want it bad enough .. You want to sit on your comfy couch where its easy and safe. You are scared of the person you will be come..

The problem is you have the potential to be the best you you can ever be and you are rationalizing that away with excuses and fear.

You hate sweat ? I mean really? Sweat is one of the fundamental foundations of your weight loss recipe..

Look you need to get uncomfortable you need to shake things up a bit... You need to get out of your head about this and change your mind. Your body wont follow until you change your mindset.

Who cares you have gained weight .. You need to own it. You need to own up to the fact that you are in this position because of you and only you can change the position you are in.

SO you need to ask you self how bad do you want it ?

Because if you want it bad. you will make changes, you will make sacrifices and most importantly you will STOP making excuses and get out there on to the path of greatness...

Or you can sit here and whine about it..

I think the choice is pretty easy if you ask me...

How bad do you want it ?

ndj1979

Look if you can't help yourself. You will never reach your goals. Your problem is you just don't want it bad enough .. You want to sit on your comfy couch where its easy and safe. You are scared of the person you will be come..

The problem is you have the potential to be the best you you can ever be and you are rationalizing that away with excuses and fear.

You hate sweat ? I mean really? Sweat is one of the fundamental foundations of your weight loss recipe..

Look you need to get uncomfortable you need to shake things up a bit... You need to get out of your head about this and change your mind. Your body wont follow until you change your mindset.

Who cares you have gained weight .. You need to own it. You need to own up to the fact that you are in this position because of you and only you can change the position you are in.

SO you need to ask you self how bad do you want it ?

Because if you want it bad. you will make changes, you will make sacrifices and most importantly you will STOP making excuses and get out there on to the path of greatness...

Or you can sit here and whine about it..

I think the choice is pretty easy if you ask me...

How bad do you want it ?

Basically all of this ..

however, I will say that some people have success just walking or doing light activity and eating in a 500 per day calorie deficit; however, you have to eat in a deficit. If you are gaining weight, then you are obviously over eating; so why not start there and stop overeating and start eating in a caloric deficit. Then, once you do that start some light walking or maybe even jogging, and then move up to some light weights or something...soon enough, you will reach a point where you want to work out...

It all comes down to how bad you want this for yourself. You say that your clothes are getting tight, well guess what? You can do something about that ..get off the couch, move more, and eat less and all that weight will start coming off.

thepetiterunner

Nowhere in there did you state a single reason why you want to change. Not one.

Why do you want to change? Is it because you're tired of feeling and looking the way you are? Is it because you feel like you "have" to because society says Americans are obese? What's the reason?

Until you own the reasons and take accountability for yourself, you're not going to be able to commit to a path. Maybe you really don't think there's a problem. I mean REALLY think there's a problem.

You have to make the decision to make the choice and own it. And you have to make that choice over and over and over again, 100 times a day. Until you can do that, you won't succeed.

KarateMadMum

You can lose weight without working out... You just need to eat less than you burn in a day however working out will help your loss along and make you feel better.. Honest!

Working out doesn't have to be in a gym, running around a track or sweating to a DVD... How about when you do the housework crank the music up loud dance and jump around as you are doing it.. sing your heart out and bop along to the music.. so long as you get atleast a little warm and out of breath you are doing something which is better than nothing!

Good luck!

Imabemee

Ultimately it's only going to work if you put forth the effort, it doesn't matter that you don't like it- you're going to have to do it if you want to lose the weight. I am glad to hear you have a medical support person on your side.

My only advice for you, since you seem to not want to hear what most people are going to say. Is to break down and buy a few items of clothes that fit. cramming yourself into uncomfortable clothes and not feeling good about yourself is only fueling your self hate. I know because I tried the same logic.

My guess is there isn't a moment during the day that you don't think about your weight- the tight band around your pants digging into your stomach, how your shirt rides up because of your gut, and darn it if the cuffs on the sleeve of your shirt just are a little too tight. That jacket in your closet would be cute with that outfit if only you could zip/button it. This never actually motivated me, it just made me sad and hate my body more. Why would I want to buy bigger clothes- I'm just going to lose the weight right? WRONG- once I started wearing clothes that fit me better I actually felt better, I was physically more comfortable, and my mind was a little more free to worry about other things.

Keep doing the calorie counting, it's only been a week- give it more time. And.. FWIW- you don't have to sweat to lose weight. Go out and go for a walk, just be active! Every bit helps!

LizL217

If you don't like to sweat, you could always swim. Swimming is great exercise and the sweat just washes away as you go so you don't notice it. You could also sign up for a community sports league or sign up for lessons in a sport if your friends won't play with you, or you could get a personal trainer so that you have someone to answer to besides yourself.

I think that there are three things that will play a big role in your success:
1) Finding emotional strength within yourself. No one will make you do the things you need to do to get healthy, so you just have to dig deep and do it.

2) Finding healthy things that you love to eat and do. If you hate the healthy food you're eating, and you hate the exercise you're doing, you'll never keep it up. Find something you love.

3) Momentum. An object at rest tends to stay at rest, and an object in motion tends to stay in motion. If you start exercising regularly it will become part of your routine and you'll start to crave exercise.

beachlover317

When you want it bad enough, you will do anything you need to reach your goals. I spent years whining about wanting to lose weight, losing weight in unhealthy ways & then gaining it back. A friend once told me, when you are ready to lose the weight - you will.

That happened about 16 months ago. Now, I get up every day and eat healthy, work out hard (at things I enjoy) and most importantly, I have patience.

When you are ready, you will do it too!

ashleyisgreat

Agree with most of what's been said. There's nothing you can really do to motivate yourself if you don't really want it. Motivation isn't something that can magically appear, you know? It comes from a real desire to achieve a goal. If you're not passionate, you're not ready for this long, hard road.

However, don't get too bummed if you hate working out. The good news is that weight loss doesn't require exercise (at least not in the beginning stages, when the primary goal is to get smaller. Want to look better naked? Then you've gotta exercise). It sounds like you have a good therapist who isn't trying to throw you into the deep end with this, and that's great. Start as slowly as you need to. It's been said a million times, but it's true: this is not a race. Take it at your own pace, and if that means that you're not ready to exercise, then don't! You might lose some weight and then feel so good about that accomplishment that you include it then.

Bottom line: you've got to want this, but you also have to do it at a pace that really works for YOU. Forget the people who will tell you to stop being lazy. This is about what you need to do for you. If you really want it, you can absolutely get there.

Pangea250

Until you want to, you won't. Unfortunately, that's just the way it. Find what it is that makes you want to.

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SoDamnHungry

Want it more. Be willing to work for it. Take responsibility. Be creative with food choices and work outs. Start doing it now rather than saying you can't help yourself. You CAN help yourself. You just aren't doing so.

howardheilweil

How are you defining workout? Just go for a walk for 20 or 30 minutes... That's a workout.

Naener

Yeah, I agree with those above... saying "I dont like it" and "I dont like to sweat" Just make you sound whiny... and shows you dont want it badly enough. You have to get up and make the decision every day... hell, multiple times a day, to be better and get better for YOU. Once you make the decision and decide you want to change and become a better you, youll LOVE to sweat lol.

nothign beats a good workout that leaves you covered in a sheen!! Yeah its hard, and YEAH sometimes it hurts... but doent it hurt your heart more to look in the mirror every day and know that its YOUR fault and youre the only one holding you back?
You can take 20 minutes a day and go for a walk, or lay on the ground and do some crunches and leg lifts... dont let the idea of a "BIG BAD WORKOUT" thats "lots of work and sweat" keep you planted on the couch... start small.

you can do this!

_zombiegirl_

Yeah, it all boils down to what you want more, honestly. Would you rather get to be lazy and eat whatever you want, or are you willing to put in the work and change what you're doing to get where you want to be? I kind of had to lay it out to myself like that for a while... what's more important? I don't always "feel like" going to work, but it's also kind of necessary. lol

I HATED getting up and working out for probably the first few months. I've been seriously at this since the end of January. Something miraculous happened within the past few months... I actually started to LIKE exercising. Once you start to see change, it gets a little easier. Not always "fun," but definitely worth it. You won't ever regret working out, but you might regret it if you don't.

Set small goals at first. Work your way up. You can change your way of thinking, you just have to try. No one can do it for you.

bacitracin

Go swimming.

bcattoes

If sports is your thing and your friends don't want to play, join a local league and make new friends that are into sports.

And stop the pity party. No one can help you if you won't help yourself. If you want it, do it.

stumblinthrulife

My advice is to stop looking for motivation. Stop expecting to be happy and bouncy and enthusiastic to go workout. Instead, decide you are going to do it, and then do it.

I didn't want to run this morning - too tired, too sore, too many other things I needed to do. I ran anyway. Why? Because I have a goal that I want to reach, and this morning's interval training was necessary to reach that goal.

If you really, really want this, as you say, you will do the things you have to do in order to achieve it. If you won't do them, then maybe you don't want this as badly as you think you do. Maybe you are saying the things people, and you, want to hear.

Get disciplined, not motivated.

Dalker

I find exercise is one of those things that feels great once you have been doing it a while. When I was out of the habit I hired a personal trainer once a week as I knew if I had someone holding me accountable then I'd have to go (as opposed to 'I'll go the gym tomorrow'). Did that a few months, started to enjoy it, got motivated and now I work out all the time because I start to crave it when I don't go. Don't have to have a personal trainer any more.

It might not be the cheapest option but a trainer also might be able to put together a program you like rather than you going into it blind. Good luck.

LatentColors

I'm sorry, but I asked for motivation and advice. Not people belittling me for being depressed (not sad, there's a difference) and lazy. I don't feel any more compelled to work out after hearing that I need to stop whining.