What would you choose if this was your family?

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  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    I'm in Southern California. I love it here in terms of the weather and whatnot, but don't count on the husband finding a job if he doesn't already have something worked out. He might find one, but he needs to be prepared to maybe be a stay at home dad for potentially years, because the job market here isn't great. Unless you are in a high-demand, specialized field, If you haven't found a job within the first few months of unemployment, employers will generally stop looking at you.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    i cant imagine living in a small town so i'd move.
  • vanillacoffee
    vanillacoffee Posts: 1,024 Member
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    Depends on what is most important to them, but I would move.
  • JaneAero
    JaneAero Posts: 94 Member
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    I live in a rural community and I dont like my part time job either , but I would never suggest to my OH that we move to another location so that I could find another job, having to sell our home, uproot our children, put my husband out of work and have to live in a large town/city just so that I could be more personally fulfilled. It may take some time but sooner or later another job would turn up locally, people die, move away etc..

    So... if it was me, I would keep looking for another job locally and that could be option 4. There must be something about the job which she likes or she wouldnt have applied for it in the first place. If they both still want to move then the husband, if he is happy to move and not being nagged into it, should job search now and line up a job before they move, not move and hope to find a job, not with the responsibility of a child.

    If I could give my child a good life in a rural location set against an uncertain financial future in a large town I would stay put, especially if it meant the child would have to lose their bedroom by moving into a one bedroom flat and they didnt have the space for toys either.

    I have lived in a house I dont like for the past 20 years because it meant my children could have their own bedroom and a large garden to play in safely. We have also switched from an endowment mortgage (interest only) to a repayment mortgage (pay the capital) & we have paid this, despite not having much money left over for ourselves, so that one day our children can inherit the house when we're dead and gone and not owe a penny. We dont mind trudging along so that our children can have a better future than us. We could have spent the extra money on ourselves every month, we also could have moved nearer to my husbands second place of work, which would have meant moving to a less desirable area but with cheaper living costs, we didnt move because the quality of life is better for our children where we live now and we put their interests before our own.

    The couple can personally fulfill themselves at a later date or when they have definite jobs to move for.
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
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    I would save as much as I could for a few months while the husband looks for a job, and once he either finds a decent job, or there's ~ 6 months worth of bills saved, move anyway.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    I'd pick 3, but it sounds like she would be happier with 2.
  • Frankii_x
    Frankii_x Posts: 238
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    Would it not be more beneficial for her to leave the work he's unhappy in, him continue in his employment while still looking elsewhere and then move when they have both secured jobs without having to sacrifice their lifestyle and at the same time they don't have to sacrifice their happiness?
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
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    Move to CA.
  • bombshellinprogress
    bombshellinprogress Posts: 125 Member
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    Both stay in their current place and get rid of some luxuries that aren't necessary and in the meantime the husband can look for a job in the new area or she could possibly commute to a community that is somewhat close to where they live. I live in a small town too and a lot of people commute to other cities to make a better living.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    I would choose happiness. Money is nice and it removes some of the obstacles in life, which allows you to worry about other stuff, but it doesn't solve anything if you are miserable.

    This.
  • pinkledoodledoo
    pinkledoodledoo Posts: 290 Member
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    Considering the child is still a baby, I'd suggest they suck it up where they are until the child is closer to school age and sock away as much money as possible so that in 3-4 years they can move elsewhere and hopefully both find rewarding jobs.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    Life isn't always fair. Sometimes you HAVE to do things you don't like. It must be nice to have the problem of making good money and having all the nice 'toys'.

    Personally, I would say that the deciding factor is going to be providing the child with the best life that they can. When you have a child it is no longer about 'YOU' and all your stuff. If it were me, I would suck it up and continue in the job, pay off my bills, sell anything that is not vital, make sure I had no debts and THEN decide.

    Quitting a job and forcing your partner to move to another place when they already have a good job is selfish in the extreme. If she is not happy there then they need to make a plan and not make any life changing decisions rashly. She wouldn't be the first person to hate her job and keep doing it because it was best for the family.
  • dandelyon
    dandelyon Posts: 620 Member
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    We moved with a 1 yo and no job prospects for one of us (me) and it worked out. It was easier to find a job once I was living in the area. I had a temp job turn into the breadwinning job. We even lived in the one bedroom apartment with one child, and a couple of years later bought a nice house and decided to have more children :)
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    1. Stay there, and hope that she can suck it up some more. Although, it doesnt look like she's going to last much longer.

    I would stay there for now but keep looking for opportunities in other cities THEN leave when something comes up.
  • LavenderBouquet
    LavenderBouquet Posts: 736 Member
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    It's kind of hard to gauge when the details are a bit sparse, especially in relation to how horrible the boss really is. It sounds like they have it amazing where they currently stand, with the exception of the boss. They sound very well off and spoiled (I don't mean to be rude by saying that) in their current situation, and if they had to live in a smaller house and have only one car for two people, that's really not awful in any sort of way. Or perhaps my own living situation gives me a different perspective, but having multiple cars and toys and a house with rooms I don't use sounds a tad ridiculous. If the boss wasn't completely awful I would likely stay where I was, but happiness is much more important than money and "toys." If that required moving and living more modestly, then so be it.

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