I'm a bit torn
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I think a good place to start would be to ask your daughter why she would ask about it. I have a 10 year old, and we don't ever talk about calories, but she is concerned about needing to be on a "diet". She doesn't, but our kids are very aware of what is going on.
My advice would be to be careful how you talk about your goals. I talk about health and strength. I don't talk about fat, or calories with or around my kids. And while the needs of a growing, healthy child, will be different than yours, a focus on healthy food with treats in moderation for all of the family should be stressed.
Look into getting natural PB (without the added sugar), but the fact is has fat and calories is what makes it an amazing food, not a bad one. Jelly may be full of sugar, but they are eating a touch of it.
I applaud your acceptance that you are at a loss here, so browse amazon for some resources to help you. There is a great book about raising daughters but the name of the author is escaping me, and if you are still seeing your nutritionist tell her about this thread and let her give you reassurance about the foods the kids are eating.
The goal should be to keep her talking, ask her what her concerns her and reassure her, but also make sure that your eating and your goals line up with what you are telling her. Health and strength, not skinny.
I should have added right away that my daughter and I had a frank discussion after the "diet" comment and she is a healthy child, but it made me very sad for girls today, thinking about it.
I am no longer talking to her nutritionsit which makes me kind of sad becuase she rocked! I talk to one through the school now for her and only becuase at times she still get stomach aches from lactose and soy products. Not all the time like when she was little but small reactions every once in a while. I hadn't thought to ask her why she would ask me this, but this is a great suggestion! Thank you!0 -
I agree the jelly does have a lot of sugar but the peanut butter is one of the healthiest things kids eat! Peanut Butter and banana is loaded with nutritional value!! So tell her that her that her fave lunch is very nutritious! My daughter is the same way and she has been since she started school. Watch closely though. My child had an underlying eating disorder and became anorexic . She is doing great now after getting her the help she needed.. I blame my obesity for her eating disorder. She is so worried she will get fat like me but luckily i tell her she was blessed with her father's family genes and that is highly unlikely. Good luck to you in your journey!:happy:0
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Honestly, I am a bit concerned about the whole "Eat what we have in the house and I will stock the house with healthier things later" bit as well. Not only is this saying that the wrap is unhealthy, which it is not but she is most likely going to just throw away her lunch at school rather than eat it since she thinks it will make her "fat" and that you ABSOLUTELY want to avoid. Just sit down and have a conversation with her. Be honest and stress the importance of eating healthy and having a healthy relationship with food. As someone who did not have a healthy relationship with food and a mother who did NOT do this, I promise this will help.0
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Ignore the holier than thou fitness keyboard commandos. You asked a very valid question out of love for your daughter and there's NOTHING wrong with that. You are learning, both of you, and asking questions is the way to go. There are people here who obviously have never heard that there is no such thing as a stupid question, but make it painfully obvious that there is such as thing as a stupid answer. MFP'ers often lack tact and compassion.
Haha so true! I'm on a couple other car forums that are generally pretty cool and I have to say this one has some seriously judgmental people on here. Most of us are on here to learn stuff as opposed to being criticized. Nothing wrong with having an opposing viewpoint, just a matter of conveying it appropriately.
You got that right. I've been here 3 years and the forums have really gotten bad. I just build a big friend list and mostly talk there, because the forums are pretty useless. I like browsing them though but it's hard to get into a good discussion without it devolving into a pissing match.0 -
My daughter is 8 years old, and part of the reason I started my get fit journey is for my kids. I have wanted to teach them healthy eating habits, I want them to be the type of kis who will ride their bike or throw a ball rather than watch TV. I am finally starting to see some of my hard work paying off in my daughter which makes me really excited. She wants to do her first run which is in October and sponsored by the public schools. It's a 1 mile run through a park. I am stoked that she wants to do this and she has asked if I would start jogging with her.
Last night was our first jog. I put my son on his bike to follow along, and off we went. She did great! Then this morning, she was making her lunch and started asking about all of the foods she was eating. Again, this was great. She opted for grapes and carrots rather than cookies and chips. Then, it came time to make her usual peanut butter and jelly on a whole wheat tortilla, with a banana rolled up. Like a banane burrito. She stopped and asked me if peanut butter and jelly was healthy. I told her that they weren't really very healthy, but that at her age it wouldn't hurt her. She became hesitant to make her roll up. This made me a little nervous. I told her that she needed to finish up what we had in the house and once it was gone, I would get a healthier verision.
I love that she is learning to read labels. I love that she is wanting to be active. I don't love that she is hesitating to eat certain foods, at least not at her age. I am realizing that there is a fine line between obsession and teaching. I have always had what I consider "fun snacks" in the hosue for the kids...little debbies, fruit roll ups, the stuff kids love and mama's stay away from. I tell her she can have one of those snacks with her lunch per day, teaching her to control rather than going over board. That said, I am not obsessesed so much with what my kids eat, rather, how they eat.
Is this something I should be worried about? What are your thoughts?
A dear friend of mine had a mother who obsessed about health and left her daughter with a host of weight and body image problems.
Let kids be kids.0 -
I just want to reaffirm that it's really easy to be critical from the security of a keyboard, but being a parent has no one size fits all guide book. You're doing your best and your best sounds pretty great.
Weight is a huge obsession in society. You won't be able to keep her from that. But trying to focus on health and strength will help her be much better adjusted, so kudos. I would personally just explain that some peanut butters are less virtuous due to added sugar and/or salt, but that the fat is the good kind. Best of luck to you!0 -
The last thing an 8 year old needs is to be afraid of food. There are healthy and unhealthy LIFESTYLES, not healthy and unhealthy foods. Teach her about portion control. Teach her about the importance of overall nutrition (i.e. that food is meant to nourish your body and provide fuel for your activities). And teach her to be active. That's it.0
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I agree the jelly does have a lot of sugar but the peanut butter is one of the healthiest things kids eat! Peanut Butter and banana is loaded with nutritional value!! So tell her that her that her fave lunch is very nutritious! My daughter is the same way and she has been since she started school. Watch closely though. My child had an underlying eating disorder and became anorexic . She is doing great now after getting her the help she needed.. I blame my obesity for her eating disorder. She is so worried she will get fat like me but luckily i tell her she was blessed with her father's family genes and that is highly unlikely. Good luck to you in your journey!:happy:
Sorry to hear about your daughter! I can't imagine the guilt that must cause. I know I am the type of mom who would feel guilty if my daughter developed an eating disorder which is why I came here. This isn't the only place I have sought advice, but I figured the more I can get the better! I am so glad your daughter is doing better. Hugs to you mama and know that you are not alone.0 -
My kids are only 4 and 2, so they (really, just the 4 year old) are just starting to even understand the concepts of "healthy." That being said, I'm also super cautious about what I say in front of them regarding eating and weight, especially since I'm also going through a process of trying to get healthier.
Given their health histories and growth patterns so far, I suspect that my son (4 yr old) will have my husband's metabolism/body type - skinny as a rail all through childhood and adolescence but prone to weight gain in adulthood. My daughter (2 yr old) will probably struggle with her weight her entire life, like me. Part of that is nature and part of that is nurture, for me - I struggle greatly with weight loss even when I'm doing everything right so my body is prone to the gain, but I got here primarily by not ever learning how to eat properly in the first place. Same with my husband - he never HAD to learn to eat properly because he was stick skinny his whole life until he hit his 20s and discovered beer and pizza and freedom and adult metabolisms.
I try really, REALLY hard to strike a balance in my house regarding food. I stress the importance of fruits and veggies. I always allow my kids to eat dessert as long as they have eaten at least some dinner first - absolutely not a clean plate rule, but they have to at least made an effort, you know? A bite or two of everything on the plate at a minimum. My son often asks if certain things are "healthy;" I describe some foods as "healthy" foods, good for eating all the time, and some food as "treats," for eating only once in awhile - I'm aware of how incredibly oversimplified that is, but we're talking to toddlers here. I stress the importance of activity and exercise, both by my words and, now, by my example. We take frequent family walks and my kids participate in physical activities all the time. I allow fast food but make a HUGE deal out of it as though it's a super special occasion, maybe twice a month or so, depends on what we have going on in life. I don't EVER refer to weight or size in relation to food or exercise, just health. I'm not doing everything right, but I'm learning as I go.
I think you've got the right idea, but I do agree that PB&J is a perfectly fine food for a child
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You should be worried about the fact that you told your child peanut butter and jelly is not healthy.
DAFUQ ?!
Please please tell us all why peanut butter and jelly is not healthy?
And to be honest, it sounds like you're walking a fine line with how you're teaching your daughter to view foods. There are NO good or bad foods. Don't fill her head with nonsense.
Holy crap...THIS^ I read the OP and the first thing that crossed my mind was DAFUQ!0 -
Ignore the holier than thou fitness keyboard commandos. You asked a very valid question out of love for your daughter and there's NOTHING wrong with that. You are learning, both of you, and asking questions is the way to go. There are people here who obviously have never heard that there is no such thing as a stupid question, but make it painfully obvious that there is such as thing as a stupid answer. MFP'ers often lack tact and compassion.
Haha so true! I'm on a couple other car forums that are generally pretty cool and I have to say this one has some seriously judgmental people on here. Most of us are on here to learn stuff as opposed to being criticized. Nothing wrong with having an opposing viewpoint, just a matter of conveying it appropriately.
You got that right. I've been here 3 years and the forums have really gotten bad. I just build a big friend list and mostly talk there, because the forums are pretty useless. I like browsing them though but it's hard to get into a good discussion without it devolving into a pissing match.
So true! That's why I've never asked a question on here... I'd rather ask within my friends list than try to weed through the negativity and judgmental comments I'm sure I would get if I dared to ask anything!0 -
A dear friend of mine had a mother who obsessed about health and left her daughter with a host of weight and body image problems.
Let kids be kids.
The OP doesn't really seem to be obsessing about health. Teaching your children about healthy foods =/= obsessing. Kids need guidance when it comes to food. Left to their own devices few (if any) would eat a heatlhy diet.0 -
Ignore the holier than thou fitness keyboard commandos. You asked a very valid question out of love for your daughter and there's NOTHING wrong with that. You are learning, both of you, and asking questions is the way to go. There are people here who obviously have never heard that there is no such thing as a stupid question, but make it painfully obvious that there is such as thing as a stupid answer. MFP'ers often lack tact and compassion.
Haha so true! I'm on a couple other car forums that are generally pretty cool and I have to say this one has some seriously judgmental people on here. Most of us are on here to learn stuff as opposed to being criticized. Nothing wrong with having an opposing viewpoint, just a matter of conveying it appropriately.
You got that right. I've been here 3 years and the forums have really gotten bad. I just build a big friend list and mostly talk there, because the forums are pretty useless. I like browsing them though but it's hard to get into a good discussion without it devolving into a pissing match.
So true! That's why I've never asked a question on here... I'd rather ask within my friends list than try to weed through the negativity and judgmental comments I'm sure I would get if I dared to ask anything!
If I ask a question it's usually about something regarding equipment. You want to have fun, try posting something about "clean eating"! You know, not to be a troll or anything, but it's funny watching these newly self-appointed fitness experts get their panties in a wad...0 -
A dear friend of mine had a mother who obsessed about health and left her daughter with a host of weight and body image problems.
Let kids be kids.
The OP doesn't really seem to be obsessing about health. Teaching your children about healthy foods =/= obsessing. Kids need guidance when it comes to food. Left to their own devices few (if any) would eat a heatlhy diet.
Totally this ^ trying to eat healthier and live healthier is a whole different ball game when you have. They watch your every move like a hawk and they pick up on things even if they aren't said outloud. I do agree that avoiding trigger words like diet and skinny may help the cause but my kids still know that I read labels and that I watch what we all eat. And for sure, I know that left to her own devices should wouldn't eat a healthy diet. Last week she couldn't zip her lunch box. I opened it up to move things around and she had extra snack food and some candy from her birthday. I had a talk with her, again becuase with kids these talks are never ending, that taking that much junk food was not ok, and to sneak it was even worse. I have never denied her fun foods, because my view (though it may be wrong) is that yes those foods taste good, and my kids are active and they work hard, and I am ok with them eating these foods with limitations. As for her question this morning, it was one of those that caught me off gaurd. Is PB&J healthy, it can be, yes, but with what I have I know that there are better options out there. And everyone is obsessed with the PB&J thing....the point of my quesiton was how to go about talking to my daughter about healthy eating habits without causing her stress or doing long term harm.0 -
Great response. Not snippy and nasty like so many others, but compassionate and understanding. Well said.Maybe a lot of sugar in the jelly, but truly that is a pretty healthy breakfast, especially compared to a pop tart and a coke that some kids have. BUT, I am going through the same thing with an 8 year old daughter. It is a fine line you are right, but one thing I can guarantee you is that fitness will keep her eating, a LOT, as we all know. The more we workout the more our body needs, so she will come to learn that she can eat, and eat plenty, but eat clean and stay active and she will be fine. Just give it time she will learn.
That being said, we have learned to stay away from words like "diet" and "skinny". Someone the other day told my daughter, very proudly I might add, that she was looking like a skinny mini. They meant well, but getting skinny is not the objective and the word carries negative connotations. The only terms we use are being fit and eating healthy. No losing weight or anything like that. I do think that children, when taught correctly, are smart enough to know the difference if someone says I need to lose a few pounds or diet or whatever, but the problem is I can't be around her 24/7 and other people say those things and give a different impression.
It's great that your daughter is aware of these things, and it sounds like you are teaching her the right way so I wouldn't worry.
This!! ^^
There is definitely a fine line and it's sometimes difficult to navigate. While PB&J is not a "bad" food, as OP stated, a healthier version exists and it is something she is wanting to get once the current versions have been used. My son is almost 13 and right now he is worried about muscles and fat and everything else rolled into one. We aren't the healthiest family but we've always tried to make healthy food a part of daily life. He still likes his sweets but is first to let me know when we are out of fruit or veggies and the like. I try to make sure he doesn't have the fear of "bad" foods like I did as a child. My dad would actually hide the fact that he (and I) ate sweets from my mother... something I still struggle with to this day! Sweets are to be looked as treats and not bad food. I think you are doing a great job with your daughter. She is engaged in conversation about food, questioning things and wanting to know more. So even with walking the fine line, you can show by example (like you are) that all things are okay in moderation. As another poster suggested, maybe a bit more explanation to her about the healthier version of PB&J will help her understand that it isn't a bad food, there are just better options out there. Sorry if I rambled a bit too much!0 -
Ignore the holier than thou fitness keyboard commandos. You asked a very valid question out of love for your daughter and there's NOTHING wrong with that. You are learning, both of you, and asking questions is the way to go. There are people here who obviously have never heard that there is no such thing as a stupid question, but make it painfully obvious that there is such as thing as a stupid answer. MFP'ers often lack tact and compassion.
Haha so true! I'm on a couple other car forums that are generally pretty cool and I have to say this one has some seriously judgmental people on here. Most of us are on here to learn stuff as opposed to being criticized. Nothing wrong with having an opposing viewpoint, just a matter of conveying it appropriately.
You got that right. I've been here 3 years and the forums have really gotten bad. I just build a big friend list and mostly talk there, because the forums are pretty useless. I like browsing them though but it's hard to get into a good discussion without it devolving into a pissing match.
So true! That's why I've never asked a question on here... I'd rather ask within my friends list than try to weed through the negativity and judgmental comments I'm sure I would get if I dared to ask anything!
If I ask a question it's usually about something regarding equipment. You want to have fun, try posting something about "clean eating"! You know, not to be a troll or anything, but it's funny watching these newly self-appointed fitness experts get their panties in a wad...
I'm still waiting for the lynch mob to pop out of my computer and get me!
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Ignore the holier than thou fitness keyboard commandos. You asked a very valid question out of love for your daughter and there's NOTHING wrong with that. You are learning, both of you, and asking questions is the way to go. There are people here who obviously have never heard that there is no such thing as a stupid question, but make it painfully obvious that there is such as thing as a stupid answer. MFP'ers often lack tact and compassion.
Haha so true! I'm on a couple other car forums that are generally pretty cool and I have to say this one has some seriously judgmental people on here. Most of us are on here to learn stuff as opposed to being criticized. Nothing wrong with having an opposing viewpoint, just a matter of conveying it appropriately.
You got that right. I've been here 3 years and the forums have really gotten bad. I just build a big friend list and mostly talk there, because the forums are pretty useless. I like browsing them though but it's hard to get into a good discussion without it devolving into a pissing match.
So true! That's why I've never asked a question on here... I'd rather ask within my friends list than try to weed through the negativity and judgmental comments I'm sure I would get if I dared to ask anything!
If I ask a question it's usually about something regarding equipment. You want to have fun, try posting something about "clean eating"! You know, not to be a troll or anything, but it's funny watching these newly self-appointed fitness experts get their panties in a wad...
Oh I've seen that post a time or two and yowsa talk about a pissing match!0 -
I agree the jelly does have a lot of sugar but the peanut butter is one of the healthiest things kids eat! Peanut Butter and banana is loaded with nutritional value!! So tell her that her that her fave lunch is very nutritious! My daughter is the same way and she has been since she started school. Watch closely though. My child had an underlying eating disorder and became anorexic . She is doing great now after getting her the help she needed.. I blame my obesity for her eating disorder. She is so worried she will get fat like me but luckily i tell her she was blessed with her father's family genes and that is highly unlikely. Good luck to you in your journey!:happy:
Sorry to hear about your daughter! I can't imagine the guilt that must cause. I know I am the type of mom who would feel guilty if my daughter developed an eating disorder which is why I came here. This isn't the only place I have sought advice, but I figured the more I can get the better! I am so glad your daughter is doing better. Hugs to you mama and know that you are not alone.
Thank you so much! She is my motivation to get healthy! I'm all she has and she is all I have it seems sometimes! We have to stick around for each other! I'm glad to know there are others like us out there! :flowerforyou:0 -
Honestly, I might be a little concerned at her avoidance of foods. If it's just the brands you feel are unhealthy, maybe just explain that because thise peanut butter and jelly isn't the healthiest brand(s) doesn't make it "unhealthy" and that next time you'll look for a better brand.
I think it's great that you are teaching your children about healthy foods. But it might also be good to let them know that a "healthy diet" doesn't have to mean 100% heatlhy foods, and that there are degrees of "healthy" when it comes to food. That's what is meant by a balanced diet.
^^This^^
My 5 year old daughter will on occasion come grocery shopping with me, and I do ask her input on different things, as there are certain foods I cannot have (due to medical issues, not avoidance). Last night for example, we went to the store and there was a special on squash. Both she and my husband like butternut squash, so I was going to pick out one of them. She asked about trying a different type (not sure what kind it is - it looked like a green pumpkin with more pronounced ridges), and I told her that was fine as long as we got a small one. On the flip side, I asked about a certain treat, and she only wanted a small one but they didn't have them so we passed on that. Because she sees us eating better, she wants too also. But I never tell her no if she wants to try something different - just as she's seeing me try things I never had before either.0 -
You shouldn't be sorry. You are right. I buy all fruit jelly and the better peanutbutter. For my kids I usually fed them healthy but now they crave junk as adults. We can't deprive our children but letting her have a say is awesome because we ultimately have to controlourselves. Good job0
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Honestly, I might be a little concerned at her avoidance of foods. If it's just the brands you feel are unhealthy, maybe just explain that because thise peanut butter and jelly isn't the healthiest brand(s) doesn't make it "unhealthy" and that next time you'll look for a better brand.
I think it's great that you are teaching your children about healthy foods. But it might also be good to let them know that a "healthy diet" doesn't have to mean 100% heatlhy foods, and that there are degrees of "healthy" when it comes to food. That's what is meant by a balanced diet.
^^This^^
My 5 year old daughter will on occasion come grocery shopping with me, and I do ask her input on different things, as there are certain foods I cannot have (due to medical issues, not avoidance). Last night for example, we went to the store and there was a special on squash. Both she and my husband like butternut squash, so I was going to pick out one of them. She asked about trying a different type (not sure what kind it is - it looked like a green pumpkin with more pronounced ridges), and I told her that was fine as long as we got a small one. On the flip side, I asked about a certain treat, and she only wanted a small one but they didn't have them so we passed on that. Because she sees us eating better, she wants too also. But I never tell her no if she wants to try something different - just as she's seeing me try things I never had before either.
Some of my best memories were with my parents in a grocery store! We got to pick out our fruit and cereal.
That squash you got is probably acorn squash. It's delicious. I cut mine in half, scoop out the seeds and put one pat of butter and some brown sugar in each side and roast it. Delicious.0 -
I think part of the problem here is that people equate high calorie to unhealthy and low calorie with healthy. This is, to me, a wrong view. Teach your daughter about the nutrients that various foods provide. Then you can talk about how eating too many calories overall can become a problem. So, choosing foods with a nice variety of nutritional ingredients is important and keeping a calorie target that will allow her to maintain a healthy weight can be part of that. No food is unhealthy simply because it is relatively high in calories per serving.
Labeling food as "junk" is likely not as productive as teaching about the nutritional components in foods. That way she can consider the trade-offs when she is making her decisions about what she wants to eat. Calories can come into play when teaching her how to maintain a healthy weight and/or body fat level.
There may be less calorie dense choices than PB and J, but that doesn't make them "healthier". They will provide different nutrients, sure, but getting a variety is what is most important.0 -
Honestly, I might be a little concerned at her avoidance of foods. If it's just the brands you feel are unhealthy, maybe just explain that because thise peanut butter and jelly isn't the healthiest brand(s) doesn't make it "unhealthy" and that next time you'll look for a better brand.
I think it's great that you are teaching your children about healthy foods. But it might also be good to let them know that a "healthy diet" doesn't have to mean 100% heatlhy foods, and that there are degrees of "healthy" when it comes to food. That's what is meant by a balanced diet.
^^This^^
My 5 year old daughter will on occasion come grocery shopping with me, and I do ask her input on different things, as there are certain foods I cannot have (due to medical issues, not avoidance). Last night for example, we went to the store and there was a special on squash. Both she and my husband like butternut squash, so I was going to pick out one of them. She asked about trying a different type (not sure what kind it is - it looked like a green pumpkin with more pronounced ridges), and I told her that was fine as long as we got a small one. On the flip side, I asked about a certain treat, and she only wanted a small one but they didn't have them so we passed on that. Because she sees us eating better, she wants too also. But I never tell her no if she wants to try something different - just as she's seeing me try things I never had before either.
Some of my best memories were with my parents in a grocery store! We got to pick out our fruit and cereal.
That squash you got is probably acorn squash. It's delicious. I cut mine in half, scoop out the seeds and put one pat of butter and some brown sugar in each side and roast it. Delicious.
My kids always come to the grocery store with me, and my kids are huge into helping me cook. I think sometimes I get so caught up on getting in and out of the store that I forget that there are lessons to be learned. We play little games, like my son will count the number of apples I put in the bag and my daughter struggles with reading so she reads my shopping list and finds what I am looking for on the shelf. Anything outside of that I just don't even think about. Not because I don't want to teach them new things, but because it can be overwhelming as a single mom trying to figure out homecooked meals and stay within a strict budget. Sometimes it's a victory to get out with both kids happy.0 -
I think part of the problem here is that people equate high calorie to unhealthy and low calorie with healthy. This is, to me, a wrong view. Teach your daughter about the nutrients that various foods provide. Then you can talk about how eating too many calories overall can become a problem. So, choosing foods with a nice variety of nutritional ingredients is important and keeping a calorie target that will allow her to maintain a healthy weight can be part of that. No food is unhealthy simply because it is relatively high in calories per serving.
Labeling food as "junk" is likely not as productive as teaching about the nutritional components in foods. That way she can consider the trade-offs when she is making her decisions about what she wants to eat. Calories can come into play when teaching her how to maintain a healthy weight and/or body fat level.
There may be less calorie dense choices than PB and J, but that doesn't make them "healthier". They will provide different nutrients, sure, but getting a variety is what is most important.
Great advice here! Thank you! Some of the things that seem obvious just aren't when you are overwhelmed. Teaching her nutritional components rather than labeling something as junk should be a light bulb moment for me, but it isn't always. I tell my kids that fruits and veggies are healthy, and I suppose, like I did, I just expect them to say "ok" but looking back I had to learn this, and I didn't learn it form my parents. I learned it on my own. I want to equip my kids with the knoweledge so they aren't struggling like I do now when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle.0 -
My kids always come to the grocery store with me, and my kids are huge into helping me cook. I think sometimes I get so caught up on getting in and out of the store that I forget that there are lessons to be learned. We play little games, like my son will count the number of apples I put in the bag and my daughter struggles with reading so she reads my shopping list and finds what I am looking for on the shelf. Anything outside of that I just don't even think about. Not because I don't want to teach them new things, but because it can be overwhelming as a single mom trying to figure out homecooked meals and stay within a strict budget. Sometimes it's a victory to get out with both kids happy.
When I was really young, I grew up in a two parent household so I don't know what the environment is like to be just you and two young kids. I'm sure it's really tough.
If you like to cook, maybe you can make it a family event. Food is fun. Both of my parents worked, so my Mom cooked a lot on the weekends and froze stuff. My sister and I got pretty into helping, especially with easy things like home made pizza and rolling meatballs. It really stuck with us - my sister has a culinary degree now. I just love to cook. I'm always cooking for one, so I cook a lot of healthy stuff on the weekends and then portion it out and freeze it for the week.
I think what always stood out for me as a kid, and what stands out for me now, is that we always had fresh vegetables and fruits. We also had high calorie items like peanut butter, cheese, regular milk and even home made cookies/pies, too. But, fast food/pizza/donuts was a very special treat and we didn't keep chips in the house.0 -
The way I look at it is this, if you decided the PB&J wrap was a valid food choice for your daughter, you must have thought it was a healthy food for HER, right? If not, you wouldn't have decided to make it for her (at least, I assume so). Therefore, when she asked whether it was "healthy" or not, you should've answered the question in regards to HER.
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with the meal, whether it's for children OR adults (not that I've eaten PB&J in quite awhile).
That being said, some of these posters need to pay attention to what the topic is. The ones stating that you need to eat Little Debbies (and whatever else), in order to have a "healthy" relationship with food are a bit ridiculous. I know it's blasphemous to say so around here, but choosing NOT to each such food is perfectly fine for the vast majority of people.
Sure, if not eating that daily cupcake will cause YOU to eventually binge and "fall off the wagon," then eat up. Some don't (and will never) have that issue.
Mandating that you MUST eat all types of calorie-dense foods (whether you like them or not), in order to have a "healthy" relationship with food is nonsense.
I've seen the results of those kinds of "healthy" food relationships.0 -
My kids always come to the grocery store with me, and my kids are huge into helping me cook. I think sometimes I get so caught up on getting in and out of the store that I forget that there are lessons to be learned. We play little games, like my son will count the number of apples I put in the bag and my daughter struggles with reading so she reads my shopping list and finds what I am looking for on the shelf. Anything outside of that I just don't even think about. Not because I don't want to teach them new things, but because it can be overwhelming as a single mom trying to figure out homecooked meals and stay within a strict budget. Sometimes it's a victory to get out with both kids happy.
When I was really young, I grew up in a two parent household so I don't know what the environment is like to be just you and two young kids. I'm sure it's really tough.
If you like to cook, maybe you can make it a family event. Food is fun. Both of my parents worked, so my Mom cooked a lot on the weekends and froze stuff. My sister and I got pretty into helping, especially with easy things like home made pizza and rolling meatballs. It really stuck with us - my sister has a culinary degree now. I just love to cook. I'm always cooking for one, so I cook a lot of healthy stuff on the weekends and then portion it out and freeze it for the week.
I think what always stood out for me as a kid, and what stands out for me now, is that we always had fresh vegetables and fruits. We also had high calorie items like peanut butter, cheese, regular milk and even home made cookies/pies, too. But, fast food/pizza/donuts was a very special treat and we didn't keep chips in the house.
WIth my family being so far away and homecooking being important to me I do have a blog with family recipes and recipes I find along the way that I tweak. My family gets to see photos of my kids and I have a place where my recipes are stored. The kids love getting their hands dirty with food, and have even been convinced to eat veggies simply becuase it was a dish they helped make. The memories that you have is exactly what I want my kids to have. Like you, eating out is something special. Generally I don't keep chips in the house, but someone brought a few bags to her birthday party and left them. They were already opened and I didn't want them going to waste. The biggest treat they get are zebra cakes to go in their lunch or something like that. She gets to pick out what kind of treat she wants. When I have time, I home cook treats and she loves this! Before I was single, I would also cook ahead and freeze meals. Sundays were a big even in my house. All 3 meals for the entire week were prepared plus snacks for the kids. It was hectic but man was it fun!0 -
It would help to not identify foods as "healthy/unhealthy" or "good/bad". EVERYTHING IN MODERATION. Teach her that to be healthy instead of feeling guilt for what she is eating.0
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. I had never given much thought to what I bought as far as peanutbutter and jelly, and am just now realizing that the calories in peanutbutter and the sugar in jelly is a bit high. I told her that they weren't going to hurt her but that if she wanted me to get her a healthier verision that I would after what I have in the cupboards is gone.
I also have an 8 year old daughter. 8 year old's are growing like crazy and should never be focused on the calories that healthy foods contain. You don't want her to stop listening to her body when it tells her she's hungry or not hungry.
Also, what's a 'healthier version' of PB&J????
I'd throw out the little debbies before I throw out the PB&J.0 -
. I had never given much thought to what I bought as far as peanutbutter and jelly, and am just now realizing that the calories in peanutbutter and the sugar in jelly is a bit high. I told her that they weren't going to hurt her but that if she wanted me to get her a healthier verision that I would after what I have in the cupboards is gone.
I also have an 8 year old daughter. 8 year old's are growing like crazy and should never be focused on the calories that healthy foods contain. You don't want her to stop listening to her body when it tells her she's hungry or not hungry.
Also, what's a 'healthier version' of PB&J????
I'd throw out the little debbies before I throw out the PB&J.
Healthier meaning more natural or organic peanutbutter. I'm not looking to throw anything out, I'm looking to teach her better balances and show her that it's ok to eat the little debbie in moderation rather than being scared to eat it at all. And I agree that she shouldn't be worried about calories at her age, right now she just focuses on what's healthy becuase she knows her mama is trying to eat healthier. And, I have alrady mentioend that I don't want her to not listen to her body. That's what I am trying to avoid here. I am just trying to figure out how, and see what works best for other parents.0
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